A Joke Ch. 02 - Texan's Ending

"Get off me," I growled, tugging my leg away hard, leaving her prone on the ground, crying.

* * *

Mary was at the door. I'd only been home an hour or so.

"Hi Jim. Is it too bad, or can she come home?"

"What did she tell you, Mary?"

Mary looked over her shoulder, and I could see that Flo was seated in her car.

"Roger pulled a joke on you, and he used her to do it."

"That he did. If that was all, it wouldn't be a problem. Not with her."

"She told me that she confronted him, yelled at him, and told her that it was a stupid thing to do, and to never use her like that again," Mary explained.

"So you understand why I can't take her back?"

Mary looked surprised. "But she didn't do it. She was even mad at him."

"She didn't tell him not to do it. She told him not to use her to do it. Then she stood there while they all laughed at me, and she joined in, laughing along. She didn't come back to me. She stayed with him, and his little sycophants, laughing at me. I gave her ten minutes, and then I'd had enough."

"She was drunk, Jim. That's all. She had nothing to do with the joke. She was used, just like you. Don't throw her away. You two have to talk. She's sorry. She's completely devastated."

"She'll always be sorry. Afterward. Ask yourself this: how in the hell did she end up bringing a drink to me, that he'd doctored? How is that possible? After what they did, how could she even be talking to him?"

Mary was at a loss for words. "I...I don't know. We can't know unless you talk to her. Please?"

Of course I was going to concede. I couldn't finish what I'd planned unless I did. But her actions had changed things. I wasn't willing to settle for what I'd planned originally. Not anymore. This was revenge.

"Last time, Mary. Last fucking time. Next time you intercede for her, I'm done with both of you. You understand?"

She paled, then nodded. "Yes, Jim. Thank you. I swear, I'm going to tear her a new asshole when she's sober enough to understand what she's done. I won't defend her again, and if there is a next time, sister or not, she'll have to find someone else to bail her out. You...you're better than she deserves."

A few minutes later Flo came in the house, and ran over toward me. I stood and moved around the chair, putting it between us.

"Not a word, Flo! Not a single fucking word. You open your mouth to do anything but throw up, and I swear I will beat the living daylights out of you, go next door, and shoot your fucking lover-accomplice dead! Nod if you understand, but don't you dare speak!"

She nodded once, tears rolling down her face, then turned and ran to the guest room, closing the door behind her.

Alice showed up a couple of hours later, in tears. "Can I come in, Jim?"

I opened the door to her, and she walked by me in a daze, headed to the kitchen. I made her a cup of coffee, and another for myself.

"I don't understand how he could do that," she said softly.

"He doesn't respect me, and he's trying to get into Flo's pants. It's pretty obvious."

She shook her head. "No. I can't believe that. He wouldn't."

"Jesus, Alice. You saw the test results."

She looked up at me. "No, I didn't."

I left her, and returned a few minutes later, placing them in front of her.

She took her time reading, and the tears started to flow. "How could they? How could he do this to me?"

I shrugged. "It's not about you. It's about me. Notice, they didn't handcuff you to humiliate you. They sent you away. It was me they wanted to cuckold. Wimpy Jim. Jim who can't take a joke."

"What are you going to do? Is she gone now?"

"No. She's in the guest-room. I'm angry with her, yes. She didn't behave the way she should have. Your bastard husband is the one at fault, however. He just had to start up again, trying to humiliate me, embarrass me in front of my wife and the whole world. Belittle me, try to make her see me as a wimp. I'm fucking tired of his games."

"He's sorry. He really is. Somehow, he thought a simple harmless joke would show that things were cool between the four of us."

"You believe that?"

She nodded. "He only pulls pranks on people he likes. Friends and family. He's a stupid asshole, but I think it was almost a peace offering. He really doesn't understand."

"I came close to killing him tonight," I confessed.

She stared at me in shock. "I hope you're kidding."

"No. Not at all. If I thought I could avoid prison, I would have walked over and put a bullet between his eyes."

She reached across and grabbed my arms. "No, Jim! It's not worth it. Don't do anything stupid. If you were so angry, why didn't you kick his ass when he offered?"

"I don't know. I thought it was over. Now he's starting it up again, and I'm angrier than ever."

"You know he only understands one thing. You should get even. Embarrass him in front of his friends, co-workers. I'll even help if you want. Violence isn't the answer."

It was going so smoothly. I couldn't betray my joy at her words.

"I don't know Alice. I'm not much of a prankster. Whatever I did would probably blow up in my face, and I'd be the laughing stock. Either that or nobody would think it's funny."

"No, Jim. You have to do something. Make him the butt of the joke. Take him down a notch or two. Let him feel what it's like. Let me help."

I let her talk me into it, and twenty minutes later, I gave her a hug and a kiss goodbye, and thanked her.

* * *

I woke to a blow-job from my stupid repentant wife.

I know, I know. I keep calling her stupid, and she's not. Not really. Just the opposite, to be honest. Except when it comes to our idiot neighbor and his asinine jokes. Then she's as stupid as a human could get. So forgive me, but I'm not going to stop.

When I woke, she straddled me, settling down on my hard cock. "I'm sorry, baby. I had too much to drink, but it's no excuse. I swear, I'll never talk to him again. I won't let him within 10 feet of me. I can't believe he used me, to go after you again."

"Shhh," I whispered, then drew her down and held her. "I was angry last night. I'm sorry I spoke to you as I did. I would never hurt you. I love you."

She clung to me desperately, openly crying, while I eased myself in and out of her. I had to admit her apologies were nice. I only wondered how much longer I'd be on the receiving end.

* * *

She was repentant, and Roger was as well, coming over a couple of days later with a shiner from Alice's attack, and trying to explain himself. He gave me the same bullshit about breaking the ice, trying to get things back to where they were. He missed us and the relationship we'd had. He'd made a mistake, but didn't mean to cause trouble.

I acted reluctant to accept his apology, but I did, once again warning him that I wouldn't accept another.

* * *

Two months in total. Two more weeks after the Barbecue fiasco. Plenty of time to prepare. I had a new plan. The bastard would pay. Shit, I was paying too. I was already $1500 into my revenge, and still wasn't done.

The girls got together, and planned a simple dinner party on Saturday night. A chance to bury the hatchet. Flo had been loving, and oh-so caring. I was getting laid every night, more than we had done it since the first couple of years together. She was almost subservient, and I probably could have gotten away with anything.

It was a simple dinner, with the women preparing the dishes. Roger and I spoke cautiously about work and sports, avoiding any talk about our issues. I was going to save that discussion for later.

I was feeling good. In a forgiving mood. I praised both women on everything they did, was affectionate to my wife, and appreciative to Alice. They'd both cleaned up nicely for the evening.

I think Flo is a bombshell, and understood why men would desire her and flirt with her. Alice was a little...simpler. Not bad looking, but not a head turner. Plain short brown hair she didn't do a lot with, and a body that was nice but not spectacular. I'd seen her in a bathing suit, and she didn't look bad. She was a few years younger than us. Smallish breasts, thick waist, and ample hips, with a little cottage cheese on the back of her thighs. She could probably afford to lose twenty pounds or so. She could still look good when she wanted to. That Saturday was one of those nights.

After the women prepared the dinner, I offered to clear the dishes and get us all an after dinner drink. Ten minutes later Alice was looking at me in confusion, as our spouses slipped off into unconsciousness.

I looked at her, got up, and took her glass. "Time for a little joke on our spouses," I explained.

She grinned, a nice big one. She should smile like that more often. It made her beautiful. "About fucking time, Jim! What's the plan?"

"Help me get them downstairs. I think it will all become obvious soon."

She laughed, helping me with Roger's legs.

It was a lot more difficult than I'd expected. Somehow, half-an-hour later they were both downstairs, tied to simple straight backed chairs facing each other, a couple of yards apart.

Alice was trying to get me to talk about my plans, but I kept putting her off. "Trust me on this one. They are both in for the shock of their lives," I told her.

Shock of their lives. Heh-heh. See? I have a sense of humor.

When they both were settled in nicely, firmly restrained, I had Alice help me set up a couple of cameras on tripods, both angled to face one of our captives, with the other one viewed from behind at angle. A third was facing the wall between them, with both captives viewable at the sides of the viewfinder.

"You've really thought this out," Alice said, finishing checking her setup.

"Oh yeah. I want it to be perfect."

She nodded, then got up stretching. "What's my part in this? I get to help, right?"

"Of course. It wouldn't work without you."

"But you're still not going to fill me in, are you?"

"Patience, beautiful. A little more patience."

I took her by the hand over to the bare wall. "I want to chain you to this wall," I said, and held up my hand when she looked up at me in shock.

"No, don't worry. It's part of the joke. I'm going to attach a collar and chain to your neck, and another one to your leg. It'll look very real, which is important. They both have to think you're here against your will, Ok? You can act that one out."

I walked a few feet away. "The key to your chains are right here. You can get yourself free anytime you want. If you think things are getting carried away, all you have to do is tell me."

She looked nervous, but nodded. "Can't you tell me what's going on?"

I thought about it. "I really think it's better if you don't know. You'll give a much more believable reaction, which is what I want them to see." I was attaching the neck and ankle collar while I spoke. Alice was wearing a knee length dress, which made it easier. I did remove her shoes.

"I'm a little scared," she admitted, as I locked the chain in place.

"I know. Think how they're going to feel. This is going to be perfect. If it's too much, tell me now. I'd prefer to keep it a secret a little longer, but I'll tell you if I must."

I could sense her battling with her own fears. "Alright, I trust you. It's going to start soon?"

"As soon as you're ready," I told her.

"Ok, let's get this going," she said, her smile back.

I didn't imagine that smile would be there long.

"A few more things, and we'll be ready," I told her. I had finished anchoring her to the wall. I walked behind her, took her wrists in my hands, and handcuffed them together.

"Jim?" she said nervously.

"Only for a little while. Part of the 'look'."

I stood in front of her, and gave her a hug. "Thank you," I told her. Then I was slipping the ball gag between her teeth, and the fear in her eyes told me she was ready. I anchored it firmly.

"I'm sorry," I told her, honestly. This wasn't her doing. Not totally, but if she'd gotten rid of the bastard, we wouldn't be where we were.

I went over to my wife, and broke an ammonia capsule under her nose. Just a couple of waves, and she turned her head away, starting to wake up.

I walked over to Roger, my nemesis, who this was all for, and did the same. He shook his head, starting to look around, and I slapped him across the face hard. "Wake up, Sunshine. Time to pay the piper."

"W...what?" he asked groggily.

"Wake up, you slimy bastard!" I told him, slapping him twice more, until he was struggling against the ropes holding him.

I walked back to my wife, who was yelling at me. I leaned down, held her face in my hands, and kissed her softly. "Hello, darling wife. Have a nice nap?"

"What are you doing?" she snapped.

"Just a little joke. You both love a good joke, right?"

"This is not funny, Jim. Stop it now!"

"Oh no, my loving, faithful, loyal wife! I can't stop now. You guys threw down the gauntlet. Now it's my turn."

They both were screaming at me to free them, as I rolled over the covered trolley. I uncovered it, and pulled my first toy free. "Let the games begin."

I walked over to Roger, the 18" baton firm in my hand. "Look Roger, old buddy. I bet you think I'm going to beat you unconscious with this, don't you?"

"What the fuck, Jim?" he whined.

I laughed, rubbing the side of the baton against his head and neck. Then I pushed the end against his stomach and pulled the trigger, holding it there for several seconds.

He gasped as the 2,000,000 volts entered his body, making him shake and twitch, before sagging against his ropes. "Just a joke old buddy. I'm not going to beat you with it...yet."

I walked over to my wife, who was shaking her head. "No, Jim. Please don't," she whined.

I had no intentions of hurting my wife. That's why I started with the stun baton. No real pain, and nothing lasting.

"You know what's cool about this honey?" I asked, waving it in front of her. "Look at the shape. Long and firm. Just think where this would fit so nicely. Perfect for the wife who needs something other than her husband between her legs."

I lifted her dress, and saw she was wearing the little blue lace panties we'd picked up on our anniversary cruise. Damn. I loved those panties on her. I reached down and pulled as hard as I could, stripping the torn material from her body.

"No!" she screamed, twisting as much as she could.

I rubbed the baton against her legs, up her thighs, pressing it up against her crotch. She was shrieking, begging.

"I remember begging like that, while I was handcuffed to a pipe, and you were naked, letting that bastard play with your body. Do you remember, love of my life? I know you heard me, because I could certainly hear you."

"No, Jim. It wasn't like that. Please," she pleaded.

I pressed the end against her tight opening, nudging it between her lips. She was terrified.

"I don't think it will do any permanent damage, triggered inside you," I told her.

"No Jim! No!" she gasped, as a couple of inches slid inside her.

"Don't struggle so much or it might go off before I want it to. Then I'd have to do it again."

Her struggles diminished. Her tears didn't as I got about a third of the length inside her. "There, it's almost time. Any last words?"

She sobbed. "Why, Jim?"

"What? I thought you loved a good joke, sweetheart. Why don't you laugh at me now?"

"Please, if you ever loved me, please don't do this."

I leaned over and kissed her cheek. "I love you more than life itself. I'm willing to go to jail for life over you. I'd die for you."

I held the baton steady inside her. "Here we go."

"NO!" she screamed, and I pulled it out of her roughly.

"God," she gasped, "thank God."

I pressed the baton against her thigh and pulled the trigger, watching her shake, groaning. I only gave her a few seconds.

I pulled her head up by the hair. "God has nothing to do with what I'm going to do to you and your lover for the rest of this weekend."

I put the baton away, looked over and winked at a frightened Alice, and got my kitchen shears.

I stood in front of Roger for a second, then leaned over and punched him in the gut as hard as I could, leaving him bent over and gasping. "Sorry about that Roger. The assault isn't supposed to start until much, much later, but I couldn't resist. Forgive me old buddy?"

I started cutting away his clothing, laughing at his angry pleas, threats, taunts and the sickening begging. When I had him completely naked, I looked down at him shaking, then looked back at my wife. "Really, Flo. For this? Jesus, I'd expect better from you." I reached down and grabbed a fist-full of stomach flab. "Come on, baby. You've got to be kidding."

I put my foot up between his legs, and pushed, making him groan. I kicked at his shriveled up cock. "And this? Fuck, it's almost invisible. I thought you said it was so much bigger than mine? That you wanted to feel stretched out."

She was moaning, looking over at me. "It was a bad, stupid joke, baby. I'm sorry."

"Well, looks like the joke is on you three. Since this, or whatever is left of it when I'm through, is all that you're ever going to get to enjoy again. I mean, seriously? You were lying there naked, with him, he shows you this, and you start screaming how big he is?"

I walked back to Flo, who was looking up at me in despair. "It had nothing to do with sex, Jim. It was a fucking ignorant joke. The stupidest thing I did, or ever will. He wasn't bigger than you. Yes, he was hard for me, and he even pulled down his underwear, but I didn't touch it, or let him touch me with it."

"What made you come so loudly, dear wife?"

She had the decency to look ashamed. "His hand, and mine. I started on myself, and he slipped his hand over mine. I was stupid, Ok? It wasn't sex. It was a fucking stupid joke, and I was excited about what I was doing, what you were thinking. I wanted it to sound real."

"Humiliating me got you off?"

"I didn't think of it that way, but I understand how you might. It was the power, the control of the situation. I'm so damned sorry. I really am. Please stop this."

I laughed. "I imagine you're sorry now. Not sorry enough to stop humiliating me at the last barbecue."

"What are you going to do?" she whined.

"Lots and lots. I promise, you won't get bored."

I grabbed my baton, when back to Roger, and pressed it against his balls, pulling the trigger, making him scream and shake uncontrollably.

"Bet that hurts like a mother-fucker. But it's only temporary, and my pain went on for months and months. You owe me, asshole."

I put away the baton, and got out the electrode pads, applying the gel before placing them on Roger's body. "I read the stun gun won't leave you impotent, unless you use it several times on the genitals. What do you think the magic number is, Roger? How many times can I do it, before you never, ever get it up again. Five? Ten? A hundred? I've got lots of time, and tons of batteries."

"Please," he moaned. "I only played a joke on you. A stupid joke."

"Yes, a very stupid joke. That's all I'm doing now. Fair's fair."

I slapped another pad on his bare chest. "As long as I keep the voltage down, it shouldn't stop your heart," I warned him.

I know I was ignoring Alice, but that was part of the plan. By now, they both knew she was there, and obviously not a willing participant.

I walked over to her now, running my hand over her body. "You have a beautiful wife, Roger. Utterly charming. Why would you want to destroy your marriage, chasing after my wife? Why?"

"I wouldn't. I swear."

I walked rapidly over to the voltage regulator, and turned it up, about a third, making him scream as the current ran through his body. I gave him about 5 seconds then shut it off.

I walked over and slapped his face hard. "I don't like lies, Roger. You really wouldn't want me angry."