A Learning Experience Ch. 05

After dinner Andy, Cindy, Mel and I played in the game room, mostly just to reduce our stress levels. But Mel was never far from me. She was attached to my waist almost the entire night, and I was beginning to understand just how strong her attraction was to Joscelyn. She had always been strongly attracted to Jack, but it was very obvious, it was Joscelyn that seemed to make her melt into my arms, kisses were longer and her libido seemed to have no limitation when she was with her, rather than her male counterpart Jack.

Finally Andy had had enough after such a strenuous day, and he and Cindy begged our pardon for abandoning us for bed. Soon Mel made it very obvious that her mind was on bed as well, although also obviously she was interested in anything but sleep! I started the ball rolling just to see how far this might go, I kissed her softly, putting my hands on each side of her face, then said, "I love you baby... take me to bed... NOW!"

The lustful look that sprang from her eyes was amazing to behold. She had her hair done almost the same as mine, and it felt and smelled heavenly. She grabbed my hand and we both ran straight up to our bedroom, slamming the door behind us. By this time I was ready to go as well, and we began groping each other's bodies while stripping our clothes off as much as we could. I was left in my crotchless pantyhose, pink bustier, and strappy sandals with 6 inch heels. Mel was left in similar shape, but all black, with 4 inch pumps. Mel led me over to our bed and kissed me so hard I really didn't know if I would have a tooth left in my mouth! After this she pushed me back onto the bed, and I wiggled up to the center of the bed, giving her my sexiest look possible, simmering for her lust. Nothing more was needed for Mel to jump up onto the queen-size bed, crawling up to me as a cougar would crawl up to its kill.

My cock was struggling with the fake pussy once again, but I was determined to stay as completely 'en femme' as possible this night and tomorrow, so we kissed and cuddled for a while, before I gradually kissed my way down her heavenly midriff until I was in place for my favorite bit of lovemaking on my beautiful Melissa. Her vagina trembled as I once again gently pressed my mouth against her slit, giving soft kisses along its length. Of course she was absolutely delicious and while I wanted more she certainly didn't disappoint in her output, after 3 separate orgasms I had swallowed down more than enough of her pussy juice to keep even a cunnilingus aficionado like me sated.

I knew that she was ready for multi-orgasm, so I began exploring from the bottom up, eventually landing squarely on the tight bud of her clit. Once again I slid two fingers of my right hand as deep as I could into her, and curled them up just slightly as I pressed my tongue to her clit and sucked gently. I softened my tongue and licked my way around her magic nub before closing my lips over it again, sucking her gently. She tensed and her body rose up to meet my mouth as she came hard!

She gave a short, violent scream that was almost immediately choked off as all the muscles in her body locked for a few seconds of complete stillness and silence, then Mel sucked in a ragged breath and her body started to shake. I kept the pressure the same and didn't move, as I didn't want to change any of the sensations that were coursing through her body. I was treated to a last mouthful of her delicious pussy juice which I swallowed down before licking my lips. Mel shook for the next few seconds, still mostly locked up, and then let out a loud, explosive breath, followed by a period of heavy panting. I watched her body relax and muscles release as she came down from her climax. Slowly and gently, I slid my fingers from her soaked folds and lifted my head to look up at her, and could see her eyes slowly close as she looked back to me. Gradually her breathing returned to normal and sleep started to overcome her.

After I got her to sleep, I stayed awake for quite some time. I had some serious thinking to do, and my world was not as it had started this weekend. In fact, the whole purpose of the weekend had almost become irrelevant after today's craziness. But more than anything, I'd better be on my 'A' game when I confront my mother tomorrow, I'll know then just how well I had come to grips with my belief in my own womanhood. If she didn't 'buy' into this, then everything was at risk. I knew that I was close, but I'd barely even begun my HRT, and while my skin was that of a young person, just a few days ago, it had only known its existence from the perspective of a young man, and not a woman. In places my skin was still very dry and scaly, and hardly the rounded and soft curves of a normal female! How was I really going to be seen by the person who had probably seen me more often than anyone on the planet? Would she laugh, because she would see her son immediately, or would she be as stunned as the Doctor had been, amazed at the transformation? It took me a couple more hours of this mind-play before I finally was able to drift off.

***

As morning broke, the sun was once again pouring into our little weekend love nest, and the more I became awake, the more I realized how sad I would be to see it go after I left to go back home this morning. Suddenly I could feel Mel stirring, grabbing my head and kissing me as hard as she could while remembering the orgasms I'd afforded her last night.

"Oh God Josie!" She cried using my short name after coming up for air, "Honey I fell asleep and never remembered to make sure you were taken care of..."

"Baby..." I interrupted, "Now come on, I was very happy giving you orgasms last night, so don't you bother over it. And as a matter of fact, I was well taken care of, and you made sure I had everything I ever wanted so no worries, ok?"

"Well, alright." She replied, "But it doesn't feel right somehow."

"If you could just help me get ready," I said, "for seeing my Mom later, you would be helping with an immense problem sweetheart, you really would!"

"Oh yeah, right!" She suddenly replied, "Well, let me get myself going and see if Cindy's up, because she's really the best person to get you dressed right!"

"Ok babe!" I said while yawning as wide as I ever have, "I'll use the bathroom after you then, ok?"

"Right..." she began saying, "Hey! Then you get to sleep longer... Oh, you!"

I was now laughing hard as she realized I'd managed to slip that trick in pretty easily! A sharp poke to my shoulder told me that, while she was annoyed, she wasn't mad. But within 20-30 minutes, I had both of my male to female conversion helpers sitting on my bed and ready to get me dressed for whatever was to come with my mother. After going to the bathroom and washing my face, then removing all the other clothing that I had on, I returned to Cindy and Mel, to see what they thought I should wear.

I started with black lace panties, and matching bra. Then dark tan pantyhose and a pair of black patent open-toe pumps with 4" heels. Then they found a frilly white blouse in my closet, apparently purchased over the weekend, along with a dark blue suit with silver pin-stripes, the skirt was 3 inches from the knee, and the jacket fit perfectly. I mixed and matched what jewelry I had that I thought would look nice and be low-key, then went into my make-up routine to finish the look. I tried to get my hair back to something close to what it had been yesterday, but finally Cindy grabbed the brush from my hand and along with a spray bottle of something or other, and after several minutes of cursing brought it back to its old self. As I looked into the mirror, I saw a young professional, possibly a Personal Assistant, staring back at me and smiled because that was exactly the look I had been hoping for.

Now we had to pack up all of the things they had bought for me that I wasn't going to wear, and Cindy managed to find bags enough to get everything packed into the Doctor's car this morning. I was stunned at the amount of clothing they had bought for me, starting with no less than 15 pairs of shoes, 34 pair of stockings and pantyhose, 38 panties, 14 bustiers and corsets, 26 bras, 15 blouses, 18 skirts, 16 dresses, and an unknown number of other types of women's clothing in my size. Along with perfume, jewelry and other accessories, it was quite a haul for anyone, but I just kept wondering how I would fit it all into the small male bedroom closet I had at home.

Once this had been loaded into the Doctor's car, the girls loaded all of their own things back into suitcases, and took those out to Andy's car. This was because they would be getting a ride from Andy back to the college. Now we all congregated at Dolores' breakfast table to get some food into us for our respective journeys. I was quiet and pensive, and I knew that today may not go well for me. Yet the girls and Andy tried their best to cheer me up, even Dolores gave me high praise for my well appointed office apparel. I could only hope I had made all the right decisions for myself.

Finally, it was time to go. Everyone hugged me and wished me luck. That seemed to give me the confidence to feel like I was doing the right thing. The Doctor then came around and started up the car, and off we went.

After a couple hours of early morning suburban traffic, we reached my home. I lived in a large colonial house painted a dark barn red color. It sat on a corner property at a 45 degree angle to both roads that intersected there. Lovely pink colored brick made up its lower front walls, and stoop, as well as the chimney. A narrow driveway wound up to a single car garage where I had rebuilt many a car engine. But more than that it was the home of our only pet, since my parents would not allow a dog to live inside our house with us, he lived in the garage. This wasn't your 'average' single garage, as when it was originally built, the house was the sample house, and the garage was the property manager's office. So it was well insulated, which I added to later, and had electric heaters with thermostats installed at 3 locations. I spent many a cold night out there without any bad side effects. So for a dog, it was a heckuva nice place to call home, although we kids would much rather have had him inside with us.

I told the Doc to park down at the end of the property line after he dropped me off at my driveway, and then I would come out to get him in a few minutes. As I watched him roll down the street, for the first time, I felt just incredibly lonely. But I bit down firmly, tucked my black patent clutch under my arm and literally marched towards my own front door, as if I were attacking in formation! Once I had my hand on the front door knob, I sighed a very long sigh, and went on in.

I looked around the front hall, peeked down into the family room, then upstairs towards my parent's room.

"Is that you Jack?" My mother asked.

"Yeah Mom, I'm home!" I replied in my normal masculine voice up to her.

Quickly I went straight to the kitchen, as it would be the way I would normally go to let the dog out and get breakfast. Opening the door, our dog, an English Cocker Spaniel named Leo, wagged his tail, but didn't seem to know me enough to do his usual jumping routine. I got him out and attached to his run-line that allowed him to run back and forth through the back yard. Once that was complete, I walked down to where the Doc had parked and got back in. Then I told him to go ahead and re-park back into the driveway. Once that was done, we both got out of his car and walked up to the front door.

"Well, here we go!" I gasped between clenched teeth.

"Josie..." The Doctor said, "Try and relax now, everything will turn-out, take a deep breath and just keep breathing throughout, ok?"

I tried to follow his instructions, but my heart was beating so fast, and my chest was hurting so bad, that I could barely get any breath inside me, let alone a deep one! Finally I pushed the already open front door all the way, so we could both get through. My feint had apparently worked, as when we walked over to the kitchen, I saw my mother staring out the kitchen window into the back yard, moving back and forth trying to see where I was. And as I had explained to the Doc, she was completely dressed and ready for company. My feint was done to get her downstairs, so she wouldn't be able to say that she wasn't dressed yet, and thereby negating my bringing the Doctor here for support. My mother was a tall woman at about 5'10", always dressed well, with blond hair barely long enough to cover her neck, you could bet on her make-up being perfect and jewelry matching what she wore.

Once I knew it was time, I addressed her in my feminine voice, which until this moment, she had never heard before.

"Hello Mom," I said, "I brought Doctor Goldmann this morning so you could see how things are going with my therapy."

As she twirled around to see who was addressing her, her eyes became saucers when she saw my form in the doorway. I took a few more steps through the door and into the kitchen, so that I was about 3-4 feet away from where she was standing at the kitchen sink. The kitchen light now showed my complete body to her. I saw the shock on her face as she gradually realized it was me, I think that hurt more than any slap in the face could have ever managed.

"Mom..." I began, "You must know that this is the only way for me now."

"No..." she tried to reply, but it was so weak as to be nearly inaudible.

Then she repeated her 'no' and gradually felt with her hands over to the kitchen table, all the while staring straight at me. She pulled her usual chair out and sat down very heavily, placing her head in her hands, but still unable to take her eyes away from me.

I pulled out a chair from the table for the Doctor, and then pulled one out for myself and sat down, while crossing my legs. She seemed as if she could only look directly at me.

"Jack... a-are you wearing... make-up?" She finally managed to say.

"Yes mother, I am," I replied calmly, "because most girls do."

"Excuse me Mrs. Hartman," The Doctor was speaking now, "but Jack will shortly be known as 'Joscelyn Anne Hartman' instead of 'Jack Arthur Hartman', as she has indicated her wants for a female name to go with her female form."

"Oh... God!" My mother spoke slowly, "Jack, you... but, why?"

"Why become female?" I queried, "Or why that name?"

Now she seemed to get some of her self-control back as her anger flared, and suddenly we were in a real conversation that had taken nearly 12 years to finally come about.

"Why – everything!" She almost yelled at me.

"Mom, I don't feel like a man, I never have," I was talking quickly, "so if I'm forced to be a man, it will eventually destroy me, it will have to, can't you see that? Haven't you seen the terrible toll it's taken on me every day as I have to make excuses for why I don't like sports, why I like decorating the house, why I don't have ANY body hair, and on, and on, and on...?"

"It... will... kill... me!" I spoke as forcefully as my voice allowed, "Is that what you want for your offspring, you want your son to die... why not let me live as your daughter... would that really be so horrible?"

Now she put her face in her hands and began to sob, so I gently took her left hand and placed it between mine. In a way that she could easily see my French manicured nails, and began stroking it softly.

"This isn't that strange or rare," I tried to bring my voice down now, "many young men my age finally realize the truth, the real truth about their gender. And they come to the same place that I have, they have to try to make the change that will bring their bodies into balance with their minds!"

She was now softly stroking my hand, but the tears were still freely flowing, "Well," she sniffed, "You're sure that no one's somehow 'convinced' you of this course, like your sister for instance?"

Now I had to smile, as I said, "Of course not, she has her own life to live, and she hasn't been involved with my gender problems at all Mom."

"I know you've been under a terrible strain at times, Jac..." She paused, and then continued, "Jos... Joscelyn... right?"

I nodded and smiled very broadly, "Yes Mother, my name is Joscelyn now, because I had to take this rebirth on my own, I'm allowed to decide my name."

"I just never thought that you..." her voice faded a bit, then came back, "Well, I guess that's silly now, but I just don't know how to tell your father! Oh Jack... I mean Joscelyn, he will be so hurt and so upset with all of this!"

I turned to the Doctor, giving him a serious look, and then turned back to my Mom, "That's why I only wanted to talk with you first, so we can both work on Dad gradually over the next several months."

"You see Mom, this is still very early in my transition," I said, "And while I very much wanted you to see me as a female, so you would know this was really possible, tonight I'll take all of this off and go back to dressing as a male over the next few months."

"Oh, so he won't see you like this?" She queried, "not at all?"

"Not until her Hormone Replacement Therapy is complete, Mrs. Hartman," The Doctor explained, "Which will probably be around month 16."

"It takes that long to change your sex?" Mother said.

"No, not exactly," I continued, "the drugs help me to look more effeminate, that's all."

"Then once thing's seem to be stable for her," The Doctor continued, "we will schedule her for an SRS or Sexual Reassignment Surgery, and it's only THEN that she can officially and legally, under state and federal law, be known as a female."

"Tsk, tsk!" Mother was shaking her head now, "That sounds so painful dear, have you really thought this out then?"

"For almost as long as I can remember," I replied to her, "I have hoped and prayed this day would come, how could it be anything but a wondrous event for me? I don't care about the pain of the change, it's a light pleasantry versus the pain of remaining male."

"I... I have to admit," she said, "you do look very pretty... I never thought that would be a word I'd use to describe my own son, but then... it's a good word for my new daughter."

That was as much as I could take. My own tears now took their toll on my make-up, and fell hard and fast for quite a while. I got up and hugged my mother and we just held each other for the next several minutes as I gradually reclaimed my self-control.

I think the Doctor realized we had made a major break-though, as he was just beaming from ear to ear, I wasn't quite as sure as I knew we still had my father to go, but I had never felt as good about myself as I did that morning.

"Alright Josie, Mrs. Hartman, I'll have to get going then," The Doctor was saying, "It's been just a wonderful experience meeting Joscelyn's mother Mrs. Hartman!"

Dr. Goldmann got up and shook hands with Mom and she seemed to be recovering her manners pretty quickly.

"Oh, well are you sure you can't stay for coffee Doctor?" Mom replied.

"I'm afraid not today thanks," the Doctor said, "perhaps another time. Josie... you want me to help bring all your new things in for you?"

"That would be great," I replied, "let me show you where they need to go!"

For the next 30 minutes we gradually got all of my new clothes up into my clothes closet, basically filling it to the ceiling! And afterwards the Doctor walked up to me and hugged me tight, saying, "Josie, each day I work with you, I feel like I'm gaining a new daughter, if you need us, please just call, ok?"

"I will Doc," I replied, "and... thanks... thanks for everything!"

As I watched him pull out of the driveway and roll up the hill, I felt that I'd accomplished something incredible this day. But I still had a long road to go.