A Learning Experience Ch. 05

***

The next day I had completely transformed myself back to Jack, carefully removing all of the various prosthesis that the girls had put on me and storing them away for another day that hopefully would come soon enough. Andy picked me up and took me in to school so I could finally retrieve my car. I still had a lot of Music Club business to look after, getting the final docs on David Bowie, and getting another medium level act set up to play the college, a new comedian named Martin Mull.

On Friday morning, Andy came over to my little office and explained that he thought he might have the perfect guy for me to try for a date, as his father and I had discussed. The college theatre's custodian and also the school's 'hot gay stud'. Roy Keller had worked for the college ever since he dropped out a few years ago. Apparently I'd made an impression, as it had been relayed to Andy that Roy was VERY interested in getting better acquainted with that 'guy with the long blond hair'.

I needed to talk with Roy anyway, Martin Mull typically needed a number of very specific stage props. That afternoon, I walked into the theatre and saw Roy hanging out with a few guys towards the front, near the stage.

"Hey Roy?" I tried to get his attention, finally getting him to turn around, "Do you have a few minutes?"

Roy was pretty tall, a little over 6', maybe 6'2", and had rugged good looks. Black raven hair was cut in a short crew-type cut. His maleness was everything mine wasn't, with dark color body hair just everywhere, including an amazing handlebar moustache. His arms and upper body looked strong and well defined. I was tongue-tied almost immediately as he turned to see it was me, and immediately broke into a huge smile.

"For you," he replied, "As much time as you want darlin'!"

"Ah... well, as you may already know," I began, "Martin Mull will be performing on our stage in 2 weeks, and I wondered if you saw any problems with his stage props?"

He didn't immediately answer, a quick head nod had his crew heading off the other way as he very slowly sidled up next to me. He was still smiling at me, and I was having a really hard time keeping track of what I wanted to say next. As he reached me his arm went around my shoulders making me gulp hard and realize just how unsure I was about all of this.

"Let's sit and talk about it..." he finally said.

I sat down in the second row from the stage, as he sat next to me, arm still firmly around my shoulders. But now he had his hand slowly pulling my long blond locks back over my ears. Then he came in with small licks to my earlobes, totally blocking any further brain function on my part.

"How would y'all..." he said in a slow southern drawl, "like to go dancin' with me tonight?"

I couldn't take my eyes away from his, gradually he took advantage of my stunned mouth remaining open, and kissed me there just as hard as he could. It was my first kiss with a man, and I was interested, yet at the same time it made me extremely unsure of how I was supposed to react. Once he let me up, I almost jumped up out of my seat.

"Tonight?" I replied, "T-that w-would be great, when um... when, er what time?"

He just kept smiling that killer smile, and said, "Well, how about I come by your office around 6?"

I was backing away at this point, saying, "Umm... yeah, that sounds g-great, see ya then Roy!"

I licked my lips as I turned, and did not mean to, but it put me into this daze from then on, and while I was not at all sure that this was a good idea, I walked quickly back to my office with a strange fascination for this man. Luckily Mel had been out sick for the past couple days. I didn't want her to know anything about this Gay Gigolo and our date, where we would see if I really had any kind of real attraction to Men. I had agreed with my Doctor to do this for my own better knowledge and to know just how far my feelings for men went.

As I arrived back in my office, Andy came over and asked how it had gone. I was still a bit stunned, but managed to explain that Roy and I were going dancing later that night. Of course Andy immediately slapped me on the back, and congratulated me on my first ever date with a man, but the more time that elapsed, the more uncertain I became.

Finally, at around 5:30, I disappeared to retrieve some better 'going out' clothes from my car. Then I went into the men's room to change and try to get myself looking a little more presentable to be taken out dancing! I changed into some tight jeans and my leather western shirt that laced up the front. Of course what would be required at that time was a brand new pair of men's high heeled disco shoes. They had cost a small fortune for a college student, but I couldn't wait to try them out on the dance floor!

As he had promised, Roy arrived at my office door at almost exactly 6 o'clock. And at this point, he was the most perfect gentleman anyone could expect. Wearing black jeans and white tee, he had a sport jacket on over it. Black cowboy boots were the final piece to that puzzle, and while his sense of style might need a bit of help, he made sure that it was his personality that shown above all else. He walked me out to his pickup, and opened the passenger door for me to get in, and shutting it afterward for me. He then drove us to a local gay bar that also had live bands for dancing. We went into the bar, and he seemed to be a known entity to all of the waiters and waitresses. He asked for and was immediately given a table right next to the dance floor. He seemed to enjoy kissing, but kept his arm around me at all times while I was seated with him. I tried to distract him by suggesting going out onto the dance floor, but he complained that he was a poor dancer, and would rather just watch me.

After a few drinks, my dancing was getting much more seductive in nature, why I wanted that could only have made sense to me if Mel had been there. This Roy fellow continued to drink heavily, egging me on to 'reveal' more of myself as I danced, and I did. I had changed into my leather western shirt that had a good profile for my developing chest. Gradually by 1 am, I had ended up shirtless and pretty much wasted. Roy seemed mostly interested with kissing exhibitions between the two of us, and especially in front of other couples. For the first time I felt there was something strange here. But instead of making a scene, I apologized and asked Roy if there might be a more private place we could go to be alone.

Once I had my shirt back on, we both staggered out of the bar, laughing and tickling each other. Instead of opening the passenger side door for me as he had done, he said, "Ok bitch, slide it in here next to me!", as he opened the driver's door. While I complied, he noticed my new found lack of enthusiasm and Roy began to grope me all over, but then quickly started the car and drove us back to the college. His pickup had a bench seat, so once again he had his arm locked around my shoulders.

"I'm so sorry Roy," I began, "but this is really new to me, do you mind if we spend some time just with ourselves, getting to know each other?"

"New? What's new babe?" Roy responded, "Oh... you mean you've never been with another guy before huh?"

"I'm afraid so," I said as I looked down embarrassed, "It's just that, I want to, but I really don't know if I can, if you can follow that at all."

"Well now!" Roy was again smiling, "You know you can count on me to show you what love is all about can't you baby?"

"Ok..." I replied, "But let's try going a little slow at first, alright?"

"You can count on me Sweetie!" He finally said as he pulled into the college.

It was a dark night and if I hadn't been here as many times as I had, I probably would not have known we were right in back of the College Theatre. Roy walked up a few steps to the loading dock entrance. His small flashlight illuminated the door's lock and he had it open a second later. He laughed and said, "This oughta be private enough, follow me lil' one, your ecstasy awaits!"

After a couple of turns, we arrived at a circuit breaker box, where he quickly got the lights of the theatre on, then continued up several flights of steps. Roy's office was at the back of the second balcony, or what many might describe as the 'nosebleed' seats. These were the highest seats in the house, and also was where most of the theatre's performance lighting was controlled from. Finally we got to the back and Roy opened his office door and waved me inside.

"Can I get you anything?" He queried, breathing hard.

"No thanks, I'm good," I replied looking around his office.

Roy was in pretty good shape, based on how well he managed getting up all of those stairs. As I looked around, the front of the office was floor to ceiling windows that looked onto the various catwalks and lighting stations. At one end were a couple of couches and small tables. Roy indicated I should take a seat, then turned on some music and returned to sit next to me.

He embraced me hard and gave me another kiss, then started groping me, removing my shirt from over my head. Now he opened the fly of his jeans and began forcing my head between his legs.

For some reason, it was too much for me, maybe the alcohol was wearing off, or just his egocentric method of love-making, in any case I waved my hands, and stood up.

"I'm sorry Roy," I said softly, hoping not to sound whiney, "you have been very nice and I appreciate all your attention... but I... I guess this is just too much for me right now, and I just... maybe it would be best if I just go."

Roy let out a sigh, then grabbed my wrist and pulled me back down onto his lap, "It's alright my little one, promised you I'd show you all of my love..."

As he kissed me once more, I thought maybe he had realized that I needed to go much more slowly, but I should have realized he was simply losing patience for me to deliver what he needed. His embrace shifted and before I could do much of anything about it, he had handcuffed my wrists behind me. He reached in back of the couch again and as he let go of me I tried to jump away from him. As I got to my feet, he caught me by my belt and punched me hard in the stomach. I went down in a ball at his feet, seeing nothing but stars and fighting for any kind of breath at all.

"Well my lil' sissy boy," He yelled in my ears, "you've been teasin' me all night... HAVEN'T YOU BITCH?!"

My mouth was wide open, trying to get air, when he stuffed a ball gag into it and roped the back of it to my ankles, effectively hog tying me. He looked down at me and laughed, then said, "That should keep you comfy until I get back, then we'll have some real fun bitch!"

Once he left, I realized that whatever I was going to do to get loose, it would need to happen now. Then I remembered that these were my cycle jeans and I might have my skeleton key set in the back pocket. Pushing around hard, I searched the left back pocket... nothing. But as soon as I put my fingers into the right back pocket, there it was. I would have to figure out the right size by feel, and I had no idea how much time I had, but I tried to slowly get my breath back, so I could think clearly.

Finally I matched one of the skeleton keys to the handcuff lock, and as soon as I had my hands free, I was untying the knot on the back of the ball gag. Once all my restraints were off, I put my shoes back on and stood up, just as Roy walked back into the room.

"What the fuck..." Roy's eyes doubled in size as he wondered out loud at my escape.

"Thank you for a lovely evening," I replied casually, "but I think I've overstayed my welcome!"

I didn't look too hard at what he had brought into the room, it appeared to be more ropes and some sex toys, as well as a whip of some kind. Roy dumped it all onto his couch, and as I was walking up to his office door to leave, he ran up behind me and tried to put me in a headlock. Without knowing I had several years of Tae Kwon Do training, this was his first really big mistake. A quick sidestep gave me an excellent target of his bottom ribs, and I hit them with my right elbow just as hard as I could. At that point Roy was simply a 180 pound bean bag, and I could use that weight, along with his momentum to throw him forward through the windows of his office. As the plexiglas windows crumpled and cracked to allow Roy to pass through them, he was prevented from falling down into the ground floor seats by a low wall that was part of that level's catwalk system. So he came to rest upside down, knees hung over the catwalk wall and his head and arms splayed across the catwalk floor.

I opened his office door and began walking across the catwalk towards the main balcony stairs when I suddenly had to stop. Why do I do these things? Who knows what this moron would have ended up doing to me, what do I owe him? But my mind would allow no other action, so turning on my heel, I walked back over to Roy as the rest of his body now fell pathetically onto the catwalk. He seemed conscious.

"Roy..." I asked, "Roy! ...do you think you need an ambulance?"

But he just wagged his head in a 'no' movement, and I then felt free to go. I sighed loudly as I was once again walking down the stairs leading to the floor level seats. I didn't really know if this was a 'typical' male-to-male date, but I doubted it. All I really did know by this experience was that I needed to be with someone that had a kind and generous nature. Male or female made no difference, but their attitude towards others? That mattered a great deal!

***

Everything I'd learned about skeleton keys, getting out of handcuffs and especially self defense, came about from my need to belong to some sort of group in high school so I wouldn't be picked on constantly. From here, we have to fall back in time a little bit and for just a little while. Back to when I was 16, and a junior in high school. The HS that I went to was about 40% Afro-American. The biggest race riots in America were Watts, followed closely by my own little PA hometown. In 1973 our school was taken over and the principle held hostage (most of those involved were not students) and the National Guard had to be called in, because the state police were so overwhelmed. I knew what bigotry was, it sat next to me every night at dinner, and I learned to detest it from that perspective, so I couldn't imagine what African-Americans had to deal with.

But to me, this had little to do with anything other than survival. So I don't want to go into all the issues around race riots during this time, because it wasn't so much why these things were happening, rather it just made my life more difficult and required more strange turns in my daily routine. In our HS, you couldn't go into the boy's lavatory alone without getting beaten up, no Caucasian kid really could, and everyone knew it. Because of my looks, I would be picked out for 'special' treatment on top of that. So I always just made sure I wouldn't need to use the lavatory during school and stayed well away from anyplace I might get caught alone.

A friend of mine named Al and I were motor heads, we had built our own dirt-track race car. His dad was a plumber and we could get all the tubing for a roll cage we wanted for free. I got really good at jig welding and understanding engines and suspensions. Al's dad also had a bunch of garages attached to his business that he rented out. The local biker gang would use the garages and they all knew us and gradually we came to be friends with them, or as good friends as you can get I guess without actually joining up and being initiated, etc. One of the guys was named 'Tiny', and at about 350 pounds, could quite probably lift your house for you... with one arm. Tiny liked me... don't ask me if it was more than that, I never had the guts to ask.

But I would go with him as he made his rounds through Al's blue collar neighborhood, taking groceries to seniors that couldn't get out, and talking with other folks just to make sure they were ok. When this 'gang' was just starting, it was a lot more of a neighborhood watch kind of thing than a drugs, bikes and chicks 'gang' kind of a thing.

I needed to belong so badly, if for no other reason than it would mean an end to the daily harassment by the gangs that hung out in the school's lavatories. So every day, Al and I thought about how we could get ourselves 'into' this biker gang. Finally one day I was walking past the garages and the guys were going nuts trying to tune the tri-carb setup on their Harley 1200 Sportsters, the favorite biker 'hog'. It was a serious pain, everybody knew it, and the pro-bike mechanics would charge out the ass to do it.

So we go to the HS library, and guess what we find, all the old Harley manuals for the 1200 Sportsters. Apparently what we needed was a specially built 'manometer' that would allow you to check the vacuum on all the carbs at once. (Trying to do them one at a time, like the guys were doing, was a serious hit or miss kind of thing). So Al and I take an illustration from the manual, go back to the shop, and weld up one of those manometers. We then go out to one of the garages where Tiny is trying to get his bike to run even half decently, we pop on our manometer, and get the vacuum settings to where the manual said they should be, and viola! Varoooom!! Runs like a sonofabitch! Tiny just grins at me, I looked away because it made me feel weird back then.

After giving them the manometer they decided we could join. But after all that work, Al's dad wouldn't let him. I never told my parents, but then they almost never knew where I was anyway. So at 16 I became a member of the local Pagans Motorcycle Club. And I didn't even have a motorcycle yet! When it all started, it was just a lot of fun, and I gained a serious rep with that one little jean jacket with a Pagans emblem on it. One look at Tiny, and I rarely had anyone give me anything but a wide berth. The only problem (of course) was I didn't know anything about the real world yet, and the club was quickly taken control of by guys that wanted to do a lot more than just give groceries to old folks, and protect the neighborhood.

About a year or so later, I met an older guy that had just joined the Pagans, by the name of Smitty. No one ever called him anything else and he was brought into the club to help with self-defense. About 5'11" tall and 190 pounds, he had the profile of a fireplug. Every Saturday morning he would teach self-defense to anyone willing to put up with his drill sergeant put-downs. I had taken a couple years of Tae Kwon Do at the local YMCA, and as soon as I said this he began pushing me... hard! It wasn't until years later that he admitted to me that he was ex-Spec Forces. The self defense used by the Special Forces during Vietnam was partly based on Korean Tae Kwon Do. Of course he loved expounding on all the 'extras' that he had to help us protect ourselves in the event of a street fight. He also absolutely loved hot-rods, so I became his only close friend in town really, and he would only rarely attend club events, unless ordered to.

***

The following night, after my first male "date", I called Mel and asked her how she was doing. She was feeling a lot better and invited me over to her house for dinner (as long as I made it or bought it) and maybe watch a movie on TV. I had a pretty good idea of what she was hoping for, and I wanted nothing more than to make her happy.

I stopped by Mel's favorite pizza place and bought a couple pies, including one for Cindy, in case she was home too. I borrowed a bottle of red wine from my parent's extensive collection that I didn't think they would miss. Unfortunately I had nowhere to really change as I would have liked so when I rang the doorbell and Mel streaked to the door to open it, her face showed the disappointment I thought it might.