A Lesson Learned

She knelt silently, the event of the day passing through her mind with chronological precision and a clarity that was almost surreal.

The day had begun like any other. She had risen early as was her custom...put the coffee on...ran a hot bath...and woke Master by crawling into the bed and taking His soft cock into her mouth...just letting it rest in her warmth until Master awoke...some mornings she served Him...today He simply tousled her hair and rose from the bed. When He had closed the bathroom door behind Him, she rose from the bed, went to the closet and laid out His clothes. She hade the bed and tidied the room, then went into the bathroom, removed a large soft towel from the linen closet and knelt silently by the tub, the towel laid across her outstretched arms. She kept her eyes lowered and remained silent and still. Master was not a morning person and did not like conversation this time of day.

In time, He rose from the bath and took the towel from her outstretched arms, pausing a moment to let His fingers run softly over her hair. She rose and left the room, going to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. She smiled happily to herself. Master had told her they were doing something special that evening and she was excited. She prepared the meal with quiet, efficient movements...cleaning behind her as she went. Just as she put His plate on the table, He walked into the room. She poured His coffee and set it down, finished cleaning up and sat down across from Him.

He perused his newspaper for several moments while she began eating and sipping her tea. Finally, He put the newspaper down and smiled at her, "Good morning, My sweet."

As always, she was struck by the intensity of her feelings for Him, "Good morning, my Master."

"Love, I have left a list of things that need to be done today on my desk. Please see to them. I expect everything will be completed when I return."

"Of course Master."

They finished their breakfast quickly, the meal peppered with light bits of conversation. Then He rose...kissed her lovingly and left for His office. She spent a few more minutes idling over her breakfast, then finished washing their dishes, went to the bedroom, took a shower and dressed. When she was done, she went downstairs to His office. There was a single piece of paper in the center of the desk, her list for the day. She picked it up and began reading with dismay. There was so much to do on the list; she would never make it to her massage appointment this afternoon. A surge of rebellion filled her. He knew she had scheduled a massage today. He deliberately put so much to do on the list that she would not be able to go. Her rebellion filled her. She would simply do as much as possible on the list and go to her massage anyway.

She scanned over the list, mentally checking things off, judging what was urgent and what could wait until Monday. A twinge of guilt filled her, but she shook it off. She set her mind and left the house. The morning and early afternoon passed quickly as she went from place to place, checking off the items on the list as she accomplished them.

Finally, she sat in the parking lot of the spa, her hands gripping the steering wheel, overwhelmed by what she was about to do. Was she really going to defy Master to satisfy her own selfish wants? With a decisive nod of her head, the decision was made. She took her purse and went inside.

An hour later she emerged feeling relaxed and refreshed. She glanced at the elegant gold watch on her wrist. She just had time to go to the grocers to get dinner...get home, change and prepare the meal.

She was just getting ready to take dinner out of the oven when Master came home. She quickly turned the oven off and knelt by His chair. He sat down and looked at her. "So, my pet, did you finish everything I left for you to do?" There was a strange note in His voice that she did not catch. Her heart leaped into her throat.

She replied haltingly, "N-no, Master. The list was too long. I did not have time to complete everything." Her voice was low and hesitant. Her words were met by only silence.

Finally He spoke, "Nothing else happened today?"

She struggled fought with herself, then gave a deep sigh and said, "Yes Master. Something else happened. Instead of completing the tasks You gave me, i went to my massage appointment." Her voice was heavy and low.

He said nothing as He reached into His pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. He held it low enough that she could see it as He unfolded it. It was the list, the list He had left her this morning written on His company letterhead. Her thoughts raced...how had He gotten it?

He spoke evenly, "I know. This afternoon, I received a phone call from the day spa downtown. One of their clients had dropped this list. They thought it might be important so they called Me and offered to fax it over to Me. I was sure there must have been a mistake. I knew that there was no possible way for you to complete every task I had given you and still had time to visit the spa. In fact, I planned it that way."

"Master, forgive me, please. I had this appointment booked for so long. I had been looking forward to this massage desperately."

He looked down at her with sorrow in His eyes. "Do you think I did not know that little one?" The disappointment in His voice nearly broke her heart. "Today, I wanted to see how far you were willing to go to put aside your own wants...to sacrifice for Me...for us actually. If only you had trusted Me."

Just then the doorbell rang. As tears streamed down her cheeks He rose to answer it. He returned with a young woman behind Him, carrying a large somewhat bulky object with her. He told her casually that she could set up there in the middle of the room; He would be with her momentarily. She gave a mildly curious look to the weeping girl kneeling in the room, then shrugged and went about her business. He returned to His girl's side and looked at her, telling her to raise her eyes and look at Him.

When she did, He said, "This woman is a professional masseuse. She had been hired to give you a massage. I can't count the number of times I have told you, if you are willing to sacrifice for Me, I will give you much in return. But still, you put your own selfishness before My desires. I am not sure what will make you see that I will take care of you, I will look out for you, and still you do not trust Me." Tears fell silently down her cheeks as the truth of His words cut into her. "You must be punished, of course." Despite herself a thrill went through her.

He saw her reaction to His words. "I do not think you will find pleasure in this." He walked away from her, returning a moment later with something in His hands. With shock she realized what it was. He bent low and removed the soft, elegant collar He had placed on her neck when He made her His own and replaced it with the harsh, stiff collar she had worn during her training.

Her eyes opened wide and she begged Him, "Please Master...please...i'm sorry...forgive me," she threw herself down, prostrating herself at His feet, unmindful of the young woman watching.

His face remained unyielding, "Kneel up girl...now." Slowly she raised herself up and listened to His words. "you will remove yourself from My presence. I expect that you will contemplate your failure. Keep yourself separate from Me until I deem that you have thoroughly considered your actions today. You will not serve Me, nor kneel before Me, nor be in My presence until I decide your penance is complete. Since we share one home, I expect that if I enter a room, you will remove yourself immediately."

As the full import of His words washed over her, a sense of despair and failure filled her. To be removed from Master's presence? Could there be any worse punishment? Her eyes glistening with tears, she rose and walked defeated from the room, feeling as if her sense of purpose had been taken from her. She went to the bedroom they had always shared and collapsed on the floor sobbing. When she could cry no more, she got up, and took some of her things to the spare bedroom, a sense of loss heavy in her heart. She closed the bedroom door behind her and sat on the bed. She knew she should be thinking about things, as Master had told her to, but at the moment she was too numb to do more than stare in silence at the wall. She realized that at that very moment Master was probably enjoying the masseuse He had hired for her. This brought a fresh flow of tears. Eventually, she got undressed and lay on the bed, but sleep eluded her for a long time.

She drifted off finally in the long lonely hours before dawn, waking at her accustomed time. She began to leave the room then realized she could not serve Him. She was lost, without purpose. She heard Him get ready and leave. She was alone.

She knelt on the floor and cleared her mind, knowing that she must fulfill His orders, not just for Him, but for herself as well.

At first, as she knelt there...only the mundane passed through her mind...the actions of the day rather than her thoughts and motivations. Gradually, her mind cleared...she began to examine herself in a way she had never done before. Sinking deep within herself, she did not even notice the passing of time. She existed in a timeless world of pure thought and feeling.

Her entire relationship with Master rolled through her...pictures of sensation...emotion. Her memories showing her clearly each time she had doubted Him, and each time her doubt had been shown groundless. She felt an agony in her soul as she saw that despite her failure to trust Him to care for her, He had never wavered...not once.

Hours passed as she knelt there...but she neither felt the time passing nor the stiffening of her muscles. She dug deeper into herself...seeking the root of her doubt. A realization dawned on her...she had thought her failure to put herself completely into his hands had been unwitting...as she delved into her soul, she realized that she had been deliberately testing Him. A low moan slipped from her lips though she did not hear it. The completeness of her failure sat upon her, yet she felt a strange sense of peace within herself.

She was testing His love for her...His promises that if she put herself in His hands, He would never let her fall. Some corner of her soul had not believed Him. The thought hit her like a fist. Tears slipped unknowingly down her cheeks through her closed eyes.

Unknown to her, her Master had returned home and was standing in the doorway watching her. He saw the pain on her face, the tears slipping down her cheeks. He ached for the pain she was going through, and wanted desperately to go to her and comfort her. He wondered how long she had been there. Resisting the urge to take her in His arms, knowing this was a journey she must make alone, He walked away. He would be waiting for her when she reached the end of her journey, and together they would begin their own.

She continued her self-exploration...seeking the basis for her mistrust...she confronted her demons head on...slaying each one with a strength she drew from Him...each battle bringing her closer to peace.

When the last demon was slain, she collapsed forward...exhausted. She felt the numbness of her legs...the ache in her muscles...slowly she became aware of her surroundings. With a start she realized it was dark out...she had spent the entire day kneeling there. Painfully she uncurled her legs from under her...feeling the pain as her circulation returned.

Hearing a noise in the doorway she looked up. Master was standing just inside the door. Mindful of His words the previous night, she struggled painfully to her feet and made her way to the door...intending to leave.

Master stepped in front of her. "Don't go little one." His voice was soft and gentle. She stopped short...her legs in agony, breathlessly waiting on Him. He looked down at her, pain written clearly on her face. He swept her up into His arms and carried her to their bedroom, sitting on the bed with her in His lap. She began to speak, but He shushed her tenderly. "There is no need to speak. I know your heart. I know the journey you have made today. You are now truly mine. I can see it in your eyes. I am so proud of you at this moment." With those words He gently unlocked the hated training collar off her neck and locked her own back on her. He then took her to the bath and bathed her tenderly, paying close attention to her sore legs and hips. He then tucked her into their bed and curled Himself around her.

She fell into a deep and dreamless sleep almost immediately...the most peaceful sleep she had experienced in longer than she could remember; her Master curled lovingly around her body.