A Minute Thirty Ch. 02

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"Coilin, you know this is not about you."

"I know. And I did ask for your permission. It's not your fault if I don't like the answer."

Denise nodded her head—a signal that she wouldn't be changing her mind about her decision and Coilin took that as his cue to leave. He stood up and Denise followed suit.

"Well, it was a pleasure to see you, big boy. I better see your face around more often." Denise said, embracing him in a tight hug.

"Oh, now that I'm back you won't be able to get rid of me." Coilin said with a chuckle. It was truer than she thought.

Denise walked him out of the office complex to his motorcycle, inviting him to dinner the following weekend.

"I wouldn't miss it for anything." He promised before getting on his bike and pulling off.

While riding through the streets of the beautiful city that he loved so much, Coilin thought about the conversation he and Denise had. It didn't make sense that he, a grown ass man, should have to ask permission to simply ask someone on a date. He knew there was a chance that she would say no, but he didn't think that would actually happen.

Denise had mentioned that Leila was having a hard time. And her saying that only made him want to take Leila out all the more. He could only imagine how stressed out she was and she deserved to have a little fun. He was going to ask her on a date, show her a good time, and help her get her mind off of her troubles if only for a little bit.

Denise be damned.

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AMHJ89AMHJ89over 10 years ago

Don't ask questions you don't want answers to especially if regardless the answer you do what you want

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago

To make this story better, you need to stop making Leila and Denise so unlikable. I hate them, they are selfish and stuck up. They seem to think the world revolves around them and, from what you've written so far, they are incapable of seeing anything from any point of view other than their own. This is SUCH a good idea for a story, and you have a lot of ideas that are cool, but you need to develop these characters more. I have no sympathy for Leila because she seems like a little girl who is used to getting her way and expects everyone to do whatever they need to to please her even if it means sacrificing their own happiness. She's a little brat. Sorry if this is too harsh, I just want to tell you what I think would make the story way better. I hope you post more and I'll read it!

:-D <3 :-3

~Kathy~

CoCoNiy101CoCoNiy101over 10 years ago
Ugh

Denise gets on my nerves. I get that she's helping Leila and everything but she's going too far. It's one thing to be there for your sister but it's another thing to ridicule and coddle them because of their mistakes. One time is enough. And Leila is not in the best of circumstances so it's understandable that she isn't happy or charming all the time, I wouldn't be either. Finn is too good for Denise because she is arrogant and stuck up. But I hollered when Finn said the girl looked like a foot, I truly did.

CharlieB4CharlieB4over 10 years ago
When is something going to happen?

Really liked the first one and this is ok but if I wanted "days of our lives" soap I'd watch it on TV. 3*

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