A Misdirection of Affection Ch. 02

Dessi got home with her mind awash with memories. Visiting Ian's grave and having an unexpected encounter with Gina, Ian's little sister, had awoken thoughts of her past, and she wanted to revisit those days more fully.

After the kids were in bed that night, she pulled her husband off the couch and away from the TV. Leading him into their room, she smiled in response to his goofy grin. She pulled him into bed and started removing his clothes. He returned in kind, and they were soon enjoying the slow, comfortable love-making of a married couple used to rushing through sex when they had a spare moment. Touching familiar places, tracing familiar paths, smelling familiar scents, they took their turns reaching their climaxes, then cuddled under the sheets.

Dessi loved her husband, Rick, and was generally happy with where life had taken her. Tonight, however, she had seduced her husband with the intention of getting him to sleep a little early. Sure enough, he was soon breathing deeply and regularly in her arms, his head on her ample breasts. A larger chest was one advantage of having gained so much weight since her youth.

Slipping out of bed, she put on a robe and walked to the closet. Pulling out a few boxes, she found what she was looking for- a box of photos from high school, at the bottom of which was her old diary. She sorted through a few pictures and found the ones of her and Ian. One in particular sparked a vivid memory. It was summer. She was sitting at a patio table, dressed in a bright green bikini. Ian sat across from her in his swimming trunks. Holding drinks with little umbrellas, they were facing the camera and smiling.

She flipped open her diary to find that entry. She didn't used to write regularly, but when something special happened, she would write at length. It was that habit that led her into freelance writing after high school. Finding the entry for that day, she read...

*******

Well, I guess if any day merited an entry, it would be today.

Ian is house sitting for the summer. He graduated (yay!) and is getting ready to go to the college his parents picked out for him. He's not ready to stand up to them yet, but I hope he transfers next year. He hasn't let me touch him since our Valentine's Day adventure in his car. We talked a lot about it, though. He said he "thinks" he "might" be gay. My heart is exploiting all the uncertainty of those qualifiers. Maybe he needs to explore sex with a girl, just to see how he reacts...?

I've never known a gay person before, and neither has Ian. But he's interested in guys on some level. He's never been with a guy- or a girl for that matter. My hand job 4 months ago was all the action he's ever gotten. I keep offering to explore further with him, let him see if maybe he's also interested in girls, but he hasn't wanted to. I think he's just afraid and confused.

Anyway, he's house sitting for a family in his neighborhood. They don't need him there all the time, but he's supposed to keep an eye on the place and keep the pool clean. We've been using the pool a few times a week, and it's fun just playing together and not worrying about things. I'll be sad when he's gone. His school is only a couple hours away, but I'll missing having him around all the time. Especially after today.

So anyway, here's the juicy stuff:

We were in the pool and Ian was looking hot- in both senses of the word. I was taking every opportunity to rub up against him, touch him, feel him. His chest is smooth and broad and I love putting my hands on it. I wish he would respond in kind, but nothing yet. After a while of splashing and swimming and talking, we got out and let the sun dry us off. I was thirsty, and the food in the house is free for the taking (as part of their arrangement with Ian), so I went inside and poured some tea. Then I checked their cabinets for something to add. I found a nice mint liquor, and it made the tea taste strong and summery. I even found some cute cocktail umbrellas.

We sat inside the screened-in patio and sipped our drinks. When the tea was gone, I poured another glass for Ian, more alcohol than tea, this time. By the time he finished his third glass, he was glassy-eyed and smiley. I put my feet on his lap. He told me he was planning to try out for the swim team at college. I didn't know they even had such things. Ian's a great swimmer, though, so I wasn't surprised. I teased him about him only wanting the chance to see guys in their Speedos. He laughed a slow laugh and said it would be a nice perk.

I started rubbing his crotch with my foot. Ian shifted a bit in his chair, but didn't say anything. We talked more about his future and I told him how much I would miss him. He opened his legs a bit, letting me get my foot in more. Soon, our conversation dwindled and Ian closed his eyes. I worried he was dozing off, but when I pulled my foot back a little, he reached down and held it in place.

I don't think he even knew what he wanted at that point, so I held still. His hips shifted a little, pressing his crotch against my foot. I think he just liked the contact. Figuring this was as good an opportunity as any, I took off my bikini top and climbed onto his lap. My boobs aren't anything to fuss about, but they're still boobs, and that makes guys happy. I leaned over his face and started kissing him. Ian didn't really kiss back, but he didn't push me away, either. I reached for his hand and put it on my breast. I moaned, enjoying the feel of a hand touching me there for the first time in a year.

I moved around on his lap, trying to get him into it. He started kissing back a little, and I moved his hand around, showing him how I wanted to be touched.

"Dessi, I'm not sure..." His thought trailed off.

"You don't need to be sure. Just be OK with it. Just don't say no. Do this for me, please."

He sighed and I was worried it was over. But he reached a hand up to my cheek and caressed it gently. He looked into my eyes, still quite dazed, and said, "I really care about you Dessi. I don't know what that means, but I care about you a lot."

Between kisses, I mumbled, "Show me. Show me you care." I reached into his trunks and started fondling his cock. He wasn't hard, but my hand took care of that.

"Ian, am I pretty?" I needed to hear it from him.

"You're beautiful, Dessi."

Hearing that, I slid off his lap and pulled his trunks down enough that his hardening shaft was free to rise. Not waiting for a response from him, I put my mouth all the way over his head and began slowly stroking him with my hands. Ian groaned and leaned his head back.

He kept his eyes closed the whole time. I don't know if he was imagining someone else- a guy, maybe- but it didn't matter to me. As long as we are inching our way towards intimacy, I'm happy. I need his affection, his body, his touch.

I thought of how much better this is, how much more I enjoy it than in the past with other guys. Guys that I was just trying to keep happy. Or before, when I didn't have a choice. This is my choice, though. And Ian is someone who I care about and who cares about me and I just want to make him happy and to be loved by him. All of that was going through my head and I wasn't thinking about technique or anything. But when a guy is getting his first blow job, I don't think he cares as much about technique.

Not that he had time to notice. It only took two or three minutes before he started whimpering and moving his hips up towards my mouth. I took one hand off and let him go deeper into my mouth, as deep as I dared. I was glad he wasn't huge- I could almost get all of him past my lips without gagging. Only using my thumb and forefinger as a ring around his base, I let my mouth and his hesitant thrusts do the rest. He put his hands on the back of my head but didn't push me down. I would have let him.

When he came, he called out my name, which made me so, so happy. I moved my lips up and down on him slowly, letting him cum in my mouth. The warmth of his seed on my tongue made me feel special- he was sharing something with me that he had never shared with anyone else. I swallowed, then took him back in my mouth until he softened. He moaned and rubbed my head while he descended from that peak.

Then I crawled onto his lap and put my arms around him. Leaning my head onto his shoulder, I told him I would do that for him any time he wanted, he only needed to ask. When he didn't answer, went on. "You don't have to do that for me, Ian- I understand that. I just want to show you I love you. And you can do anything else you want to my body. We can have sex whenever you want to try that. If you want to put it in...you know...in my butt, that's fine- I'll do that for you if that's what you think you want. I just want to be close to you and make you happy."

With his eyes still closed, Ian winced while I was talking. I sat in frightening silence for a few minutes before speaking again. "Ian, didn't that feel good?"

His head snapped up and his eyes opened, like he was suddenly sober. "Yes...yes it felt great. But Dessi, I'm still not sure what's going on with me. And I don't want to have sex with you, really...But I don't want you to think that has anything to do with you. You're beautiful, and I should want to...I wish I did...I wish I could make you happy...But I feel bad knowing I don't want you the way you want me. And I don't think that's fair to you. You're just going to get hurt."

I just closed my eyes and held him. I like how I don't feel scared or threatened or used by him. Maybe that's why I love him so much. Could he make me happy? Could we stay together, as long as he is willing to have sex sometimes? I could make him cum while he thought of whomever he wanted. If only I could get him to see that...

His voice interrupted my thoughts, "Let's go inside an take a nap. I'm wiped out."

Being in bed with Ian, naked under the sheets, our wet swimwear gone, was one of the happiest feelings in the world. I curled up next to him and wrapped an arm and leg around him as he drifted off. I didn't sleep at all. I watched him and thought about how happy I could be with him. I considered trying to have sex with him before he woke up, but then I realized that might freak him out and drive him away. The only guy I've known who would run from me because I wanted to have sex.

An hour later, when he woke up, we cuddled and didn't talk at all. Then we got dressed and I went home for dinner. I think this summer could get interesting. Ian leaves in 2 months, and I have until then to bring him around to seeing that we could have something that really works. Something that gives us both what we want, sort of.

*******

Dessi closed the book and put everything back in the box. It was still early- not even midnight. She went back to bed and curled up close to her husband. She realized that Ian was wise to know that something important would have been missing if they had been together. She loved being desired by Rick. She loved knowing that he was excited to be with her, that he thought about her, that he wanted to touch and kiss and be inside her.

Even as her body changed over the years (as did Rick's), she enjoyed seeing the sparkle in his eyes when they were heading to bed. She loved seeing how he feasted on her nakedness, so much so that he never wanted to make love in the total darkness. She loved that he would eagerly go down on her. She loved how he moaned in appreciation every time he entered her. She loved that he would pursue her for sex just as much as (and often more than) she would pursue him. She would never have had that with Ian.

She still believed she could have made things work with Ian, but she wouldn't have known what she was missing. All her life before Ian, she had only known guys who wanted her body and who didn't love her. Ian was the opposite- he loved her, but didn't desire her body. At 20 years old, she thought those were her only options, and she was ready to choose what she thought Ian could offer. At 40 years old, she felt especially blessed to have found the third option in Rick- someone who loved her and who also loved her body.

Fueled by lusty memories of Ian and heartfelt appreciation for her husband, she curled up behind him and reached for his cock. It was soft and a little sticky from earlier. She wondered if she could coax a little more out of him. He never minded being woken up for sex. She held his heavy softness and reached down and rubbed herself, thinking back to that summer.

Ian had let her take him in her mouth a few more times before he left for college. The second time he was tipsy again, but the other times, he was sober- sober and sad. She wondered if she had taken advantage of his mood those days.

Ian didn't come back from college until Thanksgiving, and she only saw him for a few hours at The Noggin Shop, to catch up. He was enjoying college, was starting to swim competitively, and was still not sure about his sexuality.

"I mean, can I be gay if I...you know...finish when you are..." he was trying to be discreet in a public place. So he whispered, "when I'm in your mouth?"

"I don't know Ian...this is all new for me, too. I wonder if you might like boys and girls."

"I wondered that, too, but I don't think about girls the same way I think about guys."

"Well, I'll see what I can do about that. But in the meantime, my offer is still open. Anything you want to do with me, with my body, I will be happy to do it Ian. I promise."

He looked away and said softly, "Thank you Dessi. I know your intentions are good."

Then he had changed the topic and told her about something called email, which made it a lot easier to be in touch while he was gone. They had a lot of conversations that way, especially once Dessi had learned how to type.

Christmas break was difficult, because Ian's family went out of town to see family, taking Ian with them. Dessi hadn't gotten the time with him that she had hoped. But she did get to spend New Year's Eve with him. She came over for dinner with his family- her mom was working at the hospital overnight. As far as Ian's family knew, Dessi was just a friend, though she suspected they were hoping (just as she was) that it would become something more.

After dinner, they played card games and made cookies while music played in the kitchen. Little Gina fell asleep before midnight, and Dessi watched affectionately as Ian carried her up to bed. When he came back down, Dessi got an idea- one that probably wasn't good, but it seemed like it at the time. She told everyone that she should probably be heading home soon. Ian's mom tried to convince her to at least stay until midnight ("You need a New Year's kiss, don't you?"), but she excused herself and said she'd like to get back before the drunks got on the road.

And now the tricky part. She waited a few minutes until Ian's hands were wrist deep in cookie dough before standing up to leave. Getting on her tiptoes, she kissed his cheek and said she'd see herself out. Thankfully, no one followed her to the door. She opened the front door, looked back to make sure she was unobserved, then closed the door and tip-toed up the stairs to Ian's room. She went into his room and looked around. Figuring she had an hour or two before Ian came to bed, she found a book and sat in his recliner to read.

*******

Present day Dessi began to rub her thighs together as she walked through her memories of that night. Feeling Rick's cock begin to stir, she rolled over so that she was in front of him with her back against his chest. Once he was hard again, she wiggled her hips and lined him up with her entrance. He seemed to be waking and shifted himself forward a bit. Wrapping one big arm around her chest, he slid into her folds with a sigh.

*******

Ian had come to bed a little later than Dessi had expected. She had fallen asleep on the recliner, looking up at the stars out his window. Since the back of the recliner faced the door, Ian didn't notice her there. He walked in a little after midnight , stripped down to his boxers, and crawled into bed. It was probably just as well that Dessi had fallen asleep- if she had been awake when Ian got in, their voices (and hopefully other noises) may have alerted his parents to her presence. She was worried enough that someone would notice her car was still parked across the street.

It was a little after 2 a.m. when Dessi awoke. Taking a few seconds to realize where she was, she quietly went out of the room, down the hall, and to the bathroom. Coming back to Ian's room, she locked the door, took off her clothes, and crawled into bed next to him.

Remembering the feel of Ian's body against hers made Dessi thrust back against her husband. Her hand was slowly rubbing along her clit, but that was all it took to bring her to a gentle climax. She shuddered and paused while Rick hugged her a little tighter and let her tremble in his arms. As her breath evened, Rick began gently thrusting again and Dessi's mind went back to that night with Ian.

It took him a minute to realize that someone was in his bed, rubbing her hand along his chest. Ian was just starting to wake up when Dessi's hand went down to his cock, which she was surprised to find hard. He must have been dreaming. About her? No, that was too much to hope for at that point. She pulled down his boxers and started working his shaft with her hand while kissing along his chest and shoulders. Swimming had been good for his physique, toning up his muscles and adding bulk to his shoulders and arms. Dessi loved it.

Gaining coherence, Ian moved Dessi's hand from his body and rolled to face her. Before he could speak, she moved her mouth up to his ear and whispered, "Just imagine I'm whoever you want." Then she spooned in front of him and placed his cock in between her thighs.

"Dessi," he whispered, "I don't know what to do."

"Are you telling me your body doesn't know what it wants to do right now?" she teased.

"It's not that," he responded. "I...don't know where to...am I already...?"

Dessi smiled. It had been a long time since she had been with a virgin. "Let me get you started."

Pushing the tip of his penis into her entrance, she wiggled her hips and moved her hands back onto his butt. With a few pats she whispered, "Go ahead and push."

Ian thrust forward, but his motion popped him out of place and he slipped right through her thighs, along her slit. Seeming to not notice that he wasn't inside her, Ian began thrusting. By clenching her thighs together, Dessi could keep his shaft rubbing along her slit, and she was wet enough at her entrance that Ian's movements kept her thighs sufficiently lubed. With a little guidance from her hand, she could ensure that he rubbed along her clit, too.

Ian moved his hands onto her hips and used them for leverage, pulling her against him as his thrusts became urgent. In the present, Dessi could feel Rick's thrusts becoming similarly urgent. Moving his other arm under her, he wrapped her whole body in a tight embrace. She knew he was close. She was close, too...

She remembered how she was rubbing herself as Ian began grunting. The feel of his cock sliding along her entrance, teasing her clit, promising the possibility of something more- it was too much to ignore. Dessi came, turning her head into the pillow so that Ian's parents didn't hear anything. "AHH!! Aannngh! Iannn! AHHMMMFF!"

She didn't know if it was because she came or because she squeezed her legs together when she did, but it was enough to push Ian over the edge. Pushing his hips against her ass and pulling her hard against himself, Ian came, spraying his cum onto the bed in front of them. It dripped onto her leg and hand, and Dessi simply trembled in the glow of her recent cum.