A Mother's Awakening Ch. 01

Dr. Sharon Wilson enjoyed her work. Sitting in her air conditioned office, listening to the problems of others and counseling them through their difficult times... she couldn't imagine anything else being as rewarding. Since the death of her husband a half dozen years ago Sharon had poured herself into both work and family. She was a mother of two. Kati her oldest at 20 was away at college for her freshman year and Brent her son was 18 in his senior year of high school.

Kati had been a bit of a wild child when she was young, having a lot of unresolved anger since her father died, and for a few years things had been trying. Getting her graduated and off to college had been exhausting and stressful for Sharon. Brent was her angel though. He was a good and quiet young man, he was an excellent student enrolled in all honors and AP classes and he had always been there helping out with anything the family needed. Be it mowing the lawn or cooking dinner. On his weekends more often than not he could be found buried in his room doing homework or playing games on his computer.

Sitting in her office Dr Wilson waited for her next patient, Susan. Sitting behind her large desk, reviewing notes from their last session, she was reminded of the strange behavior her patient had exhibited. Susan first came to Dr Wilson with her husband for couples counseling. Her husband was distant and obsessed with his work, their sex life had been nonexistent for several years and Susan was worried he was cheating on her. He would never admit to it but Dr Wilson was more than convinced he was cheating as well, but because of his strict Catholicism he refused to accept the idea of a divorce. In fact he had never grew comfortable with the idea of counseling, refusing to return after just two sessions. Susan however gained some measure of comfort from her sessions with Dr Wilson and continued to come back week after week. Though she had all but come to the conclusion that separate bedrooms and lives would have to be the most she could expect out of her marriage. Mostly for the sake of her son she decided to stay. Dr Wilson didn't agree with it personally but she was working with Susan alone now trying to help the woman find some measure of happiness. For the past couple weeks Susan had been markedly happier though she displayed unusual reticence when talking about her home life. Last week she had been on the verge of opening up fully near the end of their session but what Sharon could only call shame or embarrassment held her back. Dr Wilson hoped to get to the bottom of it today.

Her hour long session began as usual with Susan. They talked about her work and her frustrations with her coworkers at the grocery store, how her husband was on another long business trip. When she got to her son and how he was doing in junior college she began to show the tell tale signs of dissemination and embarrassment. Dr Wilson's annoyance was piqued by this, normally she was very compassionate and understanding with her patients, allowing them to get to a topic in their own time but after many weeks of seeing reactions like this from Susan she finally had enough. So she held up preemptory hand cutting Susan off.

"Susan I am going to have to stop you there." Adjusting her glasses she regarded Susan with a firm gaze, "You pay a lot for these sessions. You pay a lot to be able to come and talk in an open and judge free environment and yet I sense your holding something back from me. I can't help you Susan unless I know whats bothering you so much. If you don't feel comfortable with me anymore then perhaps you should find another doctor, one you can open up with."

"Oh no! Dr. Wilson no! You have been such a help to me over the last few months. Talking with you has helped me to learn so many new things about myself and grow in so many ways. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have this safe place to come and vent every week."

"Then what is keeping you from fully opening up with me Susan?" Sharon's professional training told her that she shouldn't be confronting a patient about an obviously delicate matter but her instincts screamed that Susan really wanted to talk about it. She just needed a little push. So she said, "You can tell me anything Susan and I will understand. This is a judgment free environment."

Susan sat in silence for some time gathering herself before she spoke. "I have wanted to tell you ever since it first happened... but I have been afraid of what you would think." Susan looked down at her feet, her cheeks coloring with obvious embarrassment.

Sharon couldn't help but chuckle, "I have been a psychologist for fifteen years. You can trust me when I say I've heard everything before."

"I doubt you've heard this one," Susan said almost to herself. Then she looked up and met Sharon's eyes saying, "I am sleeping with my son." She closed her eyes not wanting to see the horror or revulsion in her friend and doctors eyes. Not trusting herself to get it all out she continued in a rush, "We have been having sex for the past nine weeks almost everyday. Often multiple times a day and even though I know its wrong, that its incest and a crime against god and man I can't bring myself to stop!" Susan was breathing heavy now, Sharon couldn't decide if it was from nerves at her admission or from excitement.

There was a pregnant pause while Susan built up the courage to look her friend in the eye. While Dr Wilson searched her own feelings about this revelation. She knew Susan's son was 19 and an adult so at least she wouldn't be calling the authorities.

In her first year of practicing a woman had come to her confessing a three year long affair with her son, who was in his late twenties. This woman and her son became heavily involved in BDSM. Frightening both of them with how far they were taking it. The woman because skittish after just three sessions and the treatment ended there. Dr Wilson had always tried not to think about that last patient, blocking her from memory. When she was younger it had deeply disturbed her. Mostly because of her own forbidden fantasies Fantasies buried deep in her own mind of being subjugated and taboo sex.

Quickly pivoting from her own thoughts Dr Wilson figured the break in conversation had gone on long enough. She didn't want to let Susan dwell on her own thoughts for too long. So making sure her face showed nothing of the inner turmoil inside her mind she said, "Please Susan, continue."

With a grateful look Susan leaned back on the couch looking up at the ceiling and draping an arm across her forehead. "It was when we went on that cruise to the Caribbean. Jake and I had been planning the get away for a year, we had never been on a cruise and he had finally been able to get time off work. I guess I could sense he wasn't that excited to go. He loves the sea, so I knew it must be spending a week with me, trapped in a small stateroom, that was bothering him. Anyway as I told you before he had a "business trip" come up at the last minute." Susan's voice practically dripped with venom as she made the air quotes. "So I took Colton with me instead. It was last minute but he took his fathers plane ticket and got some time off school. We flew to Florida and had a wonderful day in Miami before we got on the ship. Have you ever been on a cruise before?" Susan asked.

"No I haven't, but I hear they are wonderful. Though everyone complains they get fat at the buffets."

"Ha! I'm sure that is the case for most people. I was too busy in my room to graze at the buffet." Susan's eyes glazed over as she looked back through her memories. Yes, thought Sharon, she is definitely breathing heavier and there is perspiration on her brow. She took notes while Susan talked trying to stay focused on her patient and not let herself get lost in the story. "They take your luggage from you when you first come aboard, letting you explore the ship. So Colt and I wandered around for several hours enjoying the sight of the harbor slipping by as we headed out of to sea. It was a beautiful ship. There were three pools, two on the top deck and one indoors, a nice steak house restaurant and a theater. There was even a disco! Everywhere we went there seemed to be a bar serving fruity drinks of all kinds and when you first get on they give you these on board credit cards you use to pay for everything. So its very easy to get carried away and spend too much money. Once we got out to sea proper and the waves started to get a bit choppy I felt I needed to lay down so I headed down to our stateroom.

"The porters had kindly left both our luggage in the room but I noticed for the first time that there was only one bed. I'd forgotten to get the queen changed into two twins when I changed the ticket from my husbands name to my sons. I planned to have it changed after a nap. So I lay down and went to sleep.

"When I awoke and after having eaten, I went looking for Colt. Eventually I found him sitting in the lounge of the disco. With three women in their forties feeding him margaritas! He didn't notice me so I sat at the bar and ordered a white wine. I sat watching these older women flirt with my handsome young son with some amusement. We were in international waters so I wouldn't make a fuss about Colt drinking. I'm not naive I know he has been drunk before but this was the first time I had seen him so, the first time I had seen him flirting too.

"It was an eye opening experience for me. Colt is a handsome young man," Susan's cheeks grew noticeably redder when she started talking about her son, "with broad shoulders and those beautiful green eyes. His smile is so boyish and inviting and his laugh is infectious. I couldn't fault those women for being enamored with him. It was all just a bit of harmless flirtation so why would I care? I drank a few glasses of white wine as I watched these women ply Colt with drink after drink. "Eventually the music turned from lounge to disco beats and a pair of the women dragged him out to the dance floor. The disco was starting to fill up by this point but the crowd was very old. In fact the whole ship was filled with older people I felt like I was on a retirement cruise. It was when those two bitches started pressing themselves up against my son that I started to grow jealous." Susan paused there and thought to herself for a few seconds before saying, "I don't know where it came from. Perhaps it was my loneliness, perhaps it was the sight of my only son spending time with other women my age, perhaps it was the four glasses of wine in me. Whatever it was I'm not sure but I got up off my seat int eh shadows and walked out to the dance floor and straight up to my son. When he saw me I could see he was instantly embarrassed by the two women practically hanging off him and he went to say something but I just lifted a finger and laid it over his lips, then started dancing with him... very close.

"Well the women dancing with him didn't like competition I guess, that or they saw an opportunity because they began upping the ante from song to song. Pressing their breasts into his back and their asses into his crotch." Dr. Wilson took note of the anger and fierce love creeping into Susan's voice, "I couldn't allow these women to take my boy from me not when I was so alone already. Plus I have never been one to loose a fight," she said laughing to herself.

"Needless to say things progressed quickly from gyrating dance moves and bodies pressed firmly to one another to out right groping on the parts of the other women. I lost myself in the music and the feel of a firm male body next to me. Before I knew it I saw one of the women grab Colt's head and pull it down kissing him soundly. That drove me over the edge and I too began kissing him and placing his hands on my hips. I was totally lost in the moment." Susan's breathing was deep and heavy now, her nipples standing out from her blouse in evident excitement. "I barely paid attention to the other women but in truth they were no competition with me. Older sad housewives who stopped taking care of their figures long ago." She waved a hand down her figure with a look at Sharon. Sharon had to agree Susan had done a good job of maintaining an already hourglass figure. Her breasts were smaller than Dr. Wilson's own but they were still a full C cup with a flat stomach and long slim legs.

"I can't say what took us over that first night but I remember walking out with my arm in Colt's. I could feel the dagger sharp glances shot at my back from the other women. It seemed to me that all of the came on this cruise just to cheat on their husbands. Colt and I laughed about the whole affair as we walked back to our stateroom. We were both still drunk as we pulled off clothes and climbed into bed. I was exhausted and not thinking completely straight. I had no plan. All I was thinking of was sleep." Dr. Wilson noted the embarrassed flush to Susan's cheeks. "I could deal with the repressions of our crazy dance fest in the morning. More likely we would just never speak of it again and I would've be happy." Susan closed her eyes and placed one hand on her upper thigh her lips wet and full. Her obvious arousal talking about this was making Dr. Wilson somewhat uncomfortable. Though this was mostly at her own shameful reaction to the story which she was trying hard not to think about.

"We were in the small bed single bed. Drunk and worked up. I'm still not exactly sure how it all happened that first time. I blame it partly on the alcohol, partly on the small bed. Mostly though on my own horniness. It had been so long since I had felt a man get hard for me. Years. I'd felt Colt get hard on the dance floor though I hadn't dared to feel him completely, it had brushed up against me countless times. I guess it was part curiosity at his size that led me to reach over and grasp him. At the time it felt like my hand had a mind of its own. When he filled my hand all hard and hot all reason fled me. He was on me before I knew it and I was pulling him inside me.

"I can't describe that first night Susan. It was so intense that I was almost brought to tears several times. The shame and mad desire both worked in me. I wanted to stop but I couldn't. I told you I have never had an orgasm through intercourse only through oral, but I came the second he was inside me! With my own son! I was disgusted with myself but seeing the joy and love on my sons face, being closer to him than I ever had before I felt somehow fulfilled too. Like I was giving him the greatest pleasure a mother ever could ever give her son. I was disgusted and somewhat appalled at what we were doing but I also felt fulfilled." She looked over at Sharon with a pleading look in her eyes, "Does that make any sense?"

In fact Jen, her other patient who had admitted to a relationship with her son, had said almost the exact same thing. That is fulfilled her in a way no other act as a mother ever had. Jen had also felt intense pleasure when she was pleasing her son.

"It does Susan. You have been desperately in need of being loved and you were able to find it in a person you knew would never hurt you. I can't say I agree with what you did but I understand. You are not the first patient to admit this to me."

Susan's eyes widened in wonder, "Really? So I am not the only one?"

"No I suspect it happens much more than anyone is willing to admit."

"That is a relief to hear."

"Was there fall out the next day?" Sharon asked with genuine interest. It was rare that a patients story drew her in so much. It was professional interest she told herself and had nothing to do with the moisture between her legs.

"We had sex twice that night. They were fast and furtive sessions. Neither of us sure of the others thinking but both desperate to feel that connection and pleasure again. I came both times and more than anything else I think, even the horror of committing incest, I was surprised by the feeling of an orgasm during sex.

"I woke first the next morning in shock at what we had done. All I could think about was what a horrible mother I was and how I had ruined my son. Eventually I woke him with my sobbing. He looked up at me with the biggest smile on his face and said, 'That was the best night of my life, and I love you mom, no matter what.' The sincerity in his eyes shook me out of my shock and I reached down to stroke his hair. He caught my hand and kissed my arm. It sent shivers up my back making the hairs stand on end. I was frozen and helpless as he kissed up my arm and then up my neck.

"He stopped when we were face to face. 'Just say "no" and I will stop. We will never do anything like last night ever again. We never have to talk about it if you want. It can just be a dream we both had, never to be spoken of aloud.' I didn't know what to do. So I said nothing and he made the decision for me, kissing me on the lips as a man kisses a woman. I threw my shame away and we made love again between the sheets with the morning light streaming in. It was even better than the night before, I orgasmed twice while he was on top of me. Somehow my shame and horror disappeared in the immediacy of our actions. It didn't come back after we lay together panting and sweaty after either.

"We agreed it would only be on the cruise that we would carry on like this but while we were there in that stateroom we would have no boundaries. I found out that Colt had only been with one girl in high school and he was still inexperienced. I spent that week teaching him everything I knew. Sharon I can't explain the joy and reward I felt as he improved as a lover. We did everything that week, everything that could be done and it only served to bring us closer together. Making our love for each other that much stronger.

"Listen to me go on like this! I'm sure you don't want to hear any of these details! Please forgive me."

Dr. Wilson was sitting on the edge of her seat and said, "No need to stop, please go on."

She had such a strange look on her face, then a suspicion began to dawn in Susan's mind. "OK then. I haven't been able to tell anyone about this, its so freeing." Susan wondered how far she could push it.

"What happened when you got home from the cruise? Did things end there like you agreed? Or are things still... progressing?" Dr. Wilson was unaware of her firm nipples poking through her own blouse but Susan took note.

"We talked about stopping. We said that the cruise was a once in a lifetime experience and I made Colt swear that he would date girls his own age when we got back home. That lasted about half a day." Susan soon lost herself once more in the memories, "We got home and unpacked but Jake was still gone on his business trip. Things were somewhat normal that afternoon and evening at dinner but when we sat down on the couch to watch TV I couldn't help myself. Its not just the closeness with Colton that I didn't want to give up. The sex was so amazing! I couldn't get it off my mind. I just had to have him one more time. So I reached over and slid my hand down his shorts taking hold of him, I looked over and caught his eye and we both knew it was on. We made love right there on the living room floor and on the couch. Then he carried me into the shower and took me standing up. Since then we have been all over each other every chance we get." Susan stole a glance at Dr. Wilson and she could tell she didn't want her to stop. I wake him in the morning sometimes with a blowjob and every night my husband is out of town we sleep in the same bed. Though sleeping rarely takes place. We are like teenagers who can't keep our hands off each other and ever time he enters me I feel closer and closer to him. Its like my son is finally home and I am finally complete."

Sharon gave herself a shake coming out of her reverie. Trying to ignore her excitement. "Well I am very glad you finally opened up to me Susan. I hope you feel better for having done so."