tagIncest/TabooA Mother's Sacrifice

A Mother's Sacrifice

bylovecraft68©

Authors Note: Welcome to my story. For my regular readers, it's been a long time since I returned to my "roots' and wrote an incest story. This is my first since Mom's Christmas Tradition and I hope it will be worth the wait. For those unfamiliar with my work, a disclaimer. I enjoy a good build up and like "justifying" the taboo attraction that we all come here to read about. I feel I deliver in the end, but enjoy the "getting there" so if a short stroke story is more your style, this story may not be for you. Now for people who know me, you know I like to try new things and put spins on stories that are tough to be original with. In this one I try a couple of new things. First this is my first story written from the Mom's Point of view. Second as I did in X-mas tradition with the device of a reluctant son, in this story we find a Mom who when confronted with her son's desire for her... puts his ass in counseling! Now no worries, she'll learn the error of her ways or we wouldn't have a story, but just something to try. As always you'll be the judge of whether or not I succeed. I hope you enjoy. Lovecraft68

I pulled into the driveway and shutting the car off, finally allowed the tears of frustration I had been fighting off on the ride home to over take me. How the hell had the night that was supposed to be perfect, go so wrong? Removing a tissue from my purse, I dabbed at my eyes and sighed, it wasn't like I didn't know the answer. There had only been one thing wrong with the night and it was me. I had been seeing Jeff for four months now and he had been very patient with my nervousness when it came to intimacy.

It's not like I didn't want to. I hadn't had sex since Bill passed away and at this point it was almost all I thought about. I'd been masturbating like a teenager and going through batteries like water, while imagining every sex act possible. Unfortunately when it came to actually doing it rather than fantasizing about it, I locked up. All I could think of was Bill. I knew that he would want me to; he had even mentioned it not long before he had succumbed to the cancer that had taken his life. Flattering to the end, he had told me that there was no way he would expect a beautiful woman like me to not enjoy the rest of her life.

That was easier said than done. The first few months I was mourning and didn't even want to date. A few months ago I began to get the urge and after spending weeks having more wet dreams than I'd had in the rest of my life combined, decided to try dating. I didn't have a hard time getting attention; my fair complexion was miraculously still smooth considering what I had been through with Bill, and my long auburn hair and green eyes always got me attention. That was if they noticed my face before my legs, which I always felt were my best feature, at least from the neck down. I was on the tall side and years of jogging had done wonders for my long legs.

I always felt that made up for being a bit small on top. Although the advantage to being small chested was that gravity had been kind and even at forty four they were still firm and perky. I also had very light pink nipples that used to drive Bill crazy and.... Right there was the problem; I couldn't stop thinking of Bill. When I masturbated I thought about all the hot times we'd had. I suppose that was okay, but on the several occasions I'd tried to get intimate with the three men I'd tried dating I started thinking of him as well.

I'm sure the fact that Bill and I had met in high school and he had been my only lover was a big part of the problem. Well that and missing the hell out of him. Bill and I knew each other's bodies better than our own and I now felt like a nervous school girl when another man touched me. The first couple of guys hadn't been a big deal, it was only a couple of dates each and when I started to get nervous I just broke it off.

Jeff on the other hand was different. Jeff was a nice looking guy who was not only sweet but very understanding. After a few dates that went very well, I still wouldn't take him up on his offer to go back to his place, nor would I invite him home. I had an easy out for mine. Tommy was living at home while going to school and even though he was nineteen, I would feel funny bringing another man home. There was no excuse for not going back to Jeff's and eventually he asked if it were him. I really liked him and wanted it to work so I told him the truth, that I didn't feel ready yet.

To my delight he was fine with it, even adding with a smile that he was sure I would be worth the wait. That had put me at ease and twice I went back to his house. Both times we sat on his couch and after a couple of drinks started getting hot and heavy. The first time I froze up when his hand went up my blouse and squeezed my tit. I immediately pulled away and felt ridiculous. Jeff was okay about it and next week we tried again with the same result. Jeff made a joke about how I was saving him money on hot water because he kept taking cold showers. He laughed when he said it, but I could tell he was starting to get frustrated and didn't blame him. Fact was I was as well, going directly to bed when I got home and stroking my clit to the thought of what should have happened between us.

Jeff invited me out this Friday night and I spent all week, working myself up for it. When I played with myself, I forced my mind to stay on him, picturing his big baby blue eyes looking up at me while he licked my neglected clit. Better yet, I envisioned me on my knees. I loved to suck cock and there were times I felt I missed it almost as much as sex. I got off several times to the image of him rewarding my efforts by cumming in my mouth. I wanted to get an early start, so I left straight from work and leaving my car at his house we went to dinner.

In the past, Jeff had always picked me up and dropped me off. So tonight I had left my car there as a sign to him that I planned on coming back with him. I could see by the big smile he gave me, that the act was not lost upon him. Dinner was great and I spent most of it keeping those hot images of us together in my mind. I even had an extra glass of wine to stay relaxed. We got back to his place and going over to his couch, sat down and kicked my sandals off, again trying to show him I planned on getting very comfortable there.

I was wearing a playful short red sundress that accentuated my legs, and did a good job of propping up my tits. As he got us a glass of wine and walked over, I reached up and made a show of letting my long red hair down, giving it a playful shake. My hair cascading down the exposed skin of my back made me feel sexy, but not so much as the look of desire on Jeff's face as he sat down next to me. Handing me the wine, he whispered, "Damn you're beautiful Joanne."

"Yeah?" Giving my hair another toss, I made show of stretching out my legs. "You see something you like?"

"I like everything I see." He replied, as I took a sip of the wine.

"Then maybe you should do more than look."

I said it softly, hoping I sounded more confident then I felt. As soon as he had sat next to me I could feel my stomach beginning to tighten.

"I thought you'd never ask."

Reaching out, he slipped the wine glass from my hand, and after placing it on the coffee table, leaned towards me. Closing my eyes, I parted my full red lips and awaited his kiss. My plan was to just let him take charge, relax and let him get me into it. That idea started out well enough. Jeff kissed me gently, teasingly sliding his lips across mine. I whimpered in my throat when I felt his tongue push against my lips. I opened my mouth to accept it and sighed as it played across my own. I could feel my heart pounding, but more importantly my pussy was heating up.

I began to relax and wrapping my arms around him started sliding them up and down his back. Jeff's hands went to my shoulders as well, and then began trailing down. I gasped when I felt him cup my tits through the dress and despite a clench in my stomach, let him continue. I was getting nervous, but refused to quit. I reached up and grabbing the straps to my dress, quickly slid them down and pulled it down over my red lace bra. Jeff leaned back and smiling, brought his hands up and slipped them under the straps to my bra.

I hesitated and immediately saw him frown. Forcing what I hoped was a sexy smile, I whispered, "Go ahead."

I could see the relief on Jeff's face and told myself this was a good thing. He really desired me, but was not going to push, I was in control. I closed my eyes and tried not to tense up as I felt my bra being slid down and my small, firm tits pop out.

"Perfect." Jeff said softly.

I did flinch when I felt his hands on my now bare tits, and he stopped. Reaching up, I put my hands over his and pressed them to my tits. I opened my eyes and whispered, "Sorry, it's been awhile."

"No worries," Jeff breathed, while gently fondling my tits. "We'll go nice and slow."

I nodded and a soft moan escaped me, as his finger tips found my hard nipples and started rolling them between them. I was beginning to breath heavy and became aware of my hips starting to rock. I leaned in and kissed Jeff, harder than before, trying to let my body take over my mind. Jeff kissed me back while his fingers continued to tease my nipples. Jeff had a soft touch and I told myself it would be fine, he was in no hurry and wanted me to enjoy this.

Speaking of enjoying, I decided to see if he were enjoying and dropped my hand down into his lap. We both gasped as I found his hard cock and gave it a squeeze through his pants. I was still nervous, but as if moving of its own accord, I started rubbing his cock. Oh how good that felt! As I'd said it had been a long time, well over a year. My mind began to relax as I focused on how that hard flesh would feel in my mouth. More importantly how it would feel between my legs, where my pussy was getting hotter by the minute.

Sensing me relaxing, Jeff bent his head and I groaned as his tongue began swirling around my nipple. He released a moan around my swollen flesh when I began stroking his cock faster and harder. When I reached his zipper, I let go of his cock and bringing my other hand into play, unzipped his pants. Jeff switched to my other nipple while fondling the other and I could feel my hand trembling as I reached into his underwear and grabbed his cock.

I sighed at how hard he was and started pumping it. Jeff, whispered, "Oh, yes" around my nipple, then dropped his hand onto my thigh. As his hand slid up under my dress I started jerking him harder. I could feel him thrusting into my hand and had the urge to drop down to my knees for him. After all he had been so patient and.... All thoughts turned between my legs where Jeff had deftly slid his fingers inside the thong I was wearing and slid through my wet pussy.

"Ohhh," I moaned, my hips twitching when he grazed my clit.

Still stroking his cock, I opened my legs further, allowing him better access to my yearning flesh. Oh, this was it! Jeff's cock felt good in my hand, his tongue was all over my nipple and his fingers...had just plunged into my pussy! I cried out and started to rock my hips into him as he began slowly working them in and out.

"Oh that feels good!" I purred, "Right there!" I added as his thumb found my clit while his fingers remained buried inside of me.

"Damn straight it does." Jeff said softly.

Removing his face from my tits, he started kissing my neck. I slowed my stroking so he wouldn't cum until after I did, that way I could slide to my knees as I had thought of earlier. Jeff placed his hand on the back of my head and guided my face to his shoulder, so that I was leaning on him as his fingers worked my pussy. I closed my eyes and moaned softly. My thighs were starting to tremble and I eagerly awaited the first orgasm from someone's touch aside from my own in a long time.

"You like that Joanne?" He asked softly.

"I do." I gasped as his hand sped up.

"There you go," Jeff whispered as my hips started rocking harder. "Just like that Joanne, you just let me take care of you baby and I'll...."

My eyes opened and I felt my stomach pitch, Bill had always called me baby.

"Easy," Jeff said feeling me tense up, "Just let go baby and..."

I swallowed hard. I knew it was Jeff speaking, but all I could here was Bill's voice in my ear, "There you go beautiful," he would always say. "You just lay back baby and let me..."

"Stop!" I gasped in his ear.

"Joanne, please," He said, then groaned as I let his cock go.

"I...I can't!" I exclaimed, pushing against his arm and causing his fingers to slide out of me.

Jeff put his hands up,

"What did I do? I don't understand!"

"It's...it's not you!" I told him while quickly pulling my bra back up. "Its me."

"Yeah, Joanne, it is you." Jeff said disgustedly, tucking his softening cock back into his pants.

"I'm...." I stopped and shrugged.

I had nothing to say, I was frustrated and now humiliated, I felt like a teenage drama queen.

"I'm sorry." I said softly, while slipping the straps of the dress back on my shoulders.

Jeff nodded and sighed. I could see he was upset, but trying not to be.

Look Joanne," He began. "I know what you're going through, but it's been over a year."

"I know, I..."

"And I feel I've been pretty good about this."

"You have," I said quietly, looking down at my trembling hands in my lap. I knew what was coming and again the feeling of being an awkward teenager came over me. "But." I said it before he could.

"But Joanne, I can't do this." He shook his head. "We're in our forties, we're not kids and I don't need drama."

"I want too," I tried lamely, "I just..."

"You probably need to talk to someone." He sighed. "You need to move on Joanne."

I nodded, thinking of only it were that easy.

*****

I jumped at the sound of a horn beeping. Looking into the rear view mirror, I saw a car out in front of the house across the street. The horn had startled me, but the timing couldn't be better. Who knows how many more times I would have replayed that scene while sitting here like a girl who had just been dumped? I shook my head, as that was pretty much what I was. I got out of the car and approaching the house frowned when I saw Tommy was still home.

He had told me that he was going out with some friends and on the ride home, I had been grateful for that, because I didn't want him to see me upset. I had told him not to expect me home tonight and by my showing up he would know things had gone bad for me again. Not that I openly discussed my sex life with my son, but he had been asking me a lot of questions lately about why I hadn't tried meeting someone.

Tommy and I had always been close, to the point Bill used to bust his balls and call him a mama's boy. Since his father's passing however, Tommy had gotten even closer to me. In the beginning I figured it was normal, but as time went by he seemed to never want to leave my side. If he wasn't at school or working at the grocery store, he was home sitting on the couch watching tv with me.

The only time he wasn't with me was when he would go out with Lisa, his girlfriend of the last year. Three months ago, Tommy told me they had broken up. I had been surprised, not only was Lisa quite pretty, but sweet and had been very supportive of Tommy while his father had passed. I had even called Lisa who seemed as surprised as me, and was more than a little heartbroken. When I had broached the subject with him, Tommy had seemed evasive, not giving me much more than "It didn't feel right anymore".

Since then he had been like my shadow, even running errands with me on the weekends. I kept asking him if he wouldn't rather be out with his friends or trying to meet another girl, but he would just shrug and say he liked spending time with me. Tommy had then turned the conversation around on me, asking me why I was still alone. It was my turn to shrug and I made an excuse of not knowing how to meet someone. Tommy had told me that I was beautiful enough to attract attention anywhere. That made me smile, Tommy like his father, was always very flattering to me.

I had finally caved and told him the real reason, that I was a nervous wreck around men. His father was my one and only and I was having a hard time putting him past me. Tommy had seemed strangely satisfied with that answer. As I made my way up the walkway to the front door, I recalled that Tommy had seemed nervous when I mentioned Jeff and played twenty questions with me whenever we went out. When I'd told him I wasn't coming home tonight he had managed a weak 'good for you', but I could tell he was upset. Maybe he didn't want me replacing his father. That could become an issue, but seeing as I didn't seem able to replace Bill yet, I would worry about it another time.

Seeing I figured on not being around, I had bullied him into going out with his friends tonight. They were supposed to go shoot some pool then go to a club. Hopefully he would catch the eye of some cutie and start to forget about keeping me company. Apparently, I thought as I slipped my key into the door, Tommy had changed his mind. Now it would be the question game again. No, I would just tell him to get his ass out of the house and have some fun.

The door opened up into the living room and I saw Tommy was sitting on the couch watching television. As usual he had the volume up high and didn't hear me come in. Walking up closer to him I called out,

"Hey! What are you doing home?"

Tommy jumped and turning towards me narrowed his eyes.

"Mom? What are you doing here?"

"I asked you first." I told him as I walked over to the couch.

Sitting down next to him, I picked up the remote and shut the TV off.

"Well I..." he started, but I cut him off.

"Tommy you said you were going out with Ron and Joe tonight. We talked about this hon, you need to get out of the house."

"I...I am." Tommy pointed at the clock on the mantle. "It's only eight thirty, Joe got stuck at work and he's going to pick me up at nine."

"Really?" I raised my eyebrows

"Really," he spread his arms out, "Look at me, I'm dressed to go out."

I glanced down and noticed that he was wearing a black short sleeved collared shirt and matching dockers with a decent pair of shoes. I'd also caught a whiff of his wings cologne and nodded.

"Okay, you're off the hook." I made a show of looking him up and down. "And looking damn good, maybe you'll be back on the hook soon."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm sure you'll make some heads turn tonight."

"Oh" he shrugged, then gave me that shy smile that was so much like his fathers. "You really think I look good?"

"Damn straight I do!" I laughed, "How could you not? You look just like your good looking parents!"

Tommy smiled again and began to blush. I wasn't just making him feel good; Tommy was a good looking young man. Like his father, he had thick black hair and soft borderline pretty features. In addition to his father's good looks Tommy had inherited my fair complexion and green eyes. It was quite the combination and he had never had a problem with girls. The fact that he was attractive made me love that Tommy was sweet and a little on the shy side. Most good looking guys his age were cocky players. Bill had instilled in Tommy to respect women, and if he were with one to not only treat her right, but make her the only girl he was with. It had always made me proud when Lisa's parents would tell me what a gentlemen he was and how happy their daughter had met a nice guy.

"Hey Mom?"

"What Tommy?"

"You look really good tonight yourself."

"Thank you." I told him. "I wasn't sure if this was a little too young of a look for me."

"Not at all, because you do look young." He said, then added, "And beautiful."

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