A New Life Ch. 02byingarlm©
Thank you for the votes and comments on part 1, I'm glad people enjoyed it. The whole story is written so it will all be posted soon.
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I spent most of my first day at work half-hard. Greg's photo, despite all it did to me, did not do the man justice at all. He was the most handsome man I had ever seen, and I couldn't help checking him out when I had a moment or two where I wouldn't be noticed. Sadly his desk was behind mine so there was no way of me looking at him without making it fairly obvious. I was obviously projecting my own desires because I felt his eyes on me when I had my back turned. I was tempted to make some sort of show and see if I could make him give me some sign, but resigned myself to behaving because I didn't want to show myself up in front of new colleagues. If I had one clue that he was gay too then it might be different, but I guess the secret handshake had fallen out of favour decades ago. They should make some sort of badge. I could go with the rainbow, but that was a bit too obvious to everyone and I had no idea how that would be received by people.
Besides that, even if he was into men, I could be anything but his type. Why was it so damn difficult to work out if someone liked you? I knew it wasn't just me, I think everyone I'd ever met had agonised over it at some point, a crush you weren't sure would be reciprocated so you just keep it to yourself and hope that no-one ever lets slip in case the object of your affections just laughs in your face. I wasn't expecting anything to happen but that didn't stop me wishing for it. I was constantly aware of his presence behind me, and felt shivers down my spine when I heard the deep voice speaking. It was a day of heaven and hell.
I headed round to see Mark and Charlie after I got home because I'd promised to let them know how it went. They waited in eager anticipation for my verdict on Greg.
'He's gorgeous. Tall, dark and handsome, piercing blue eyes, great body, and good personal hygiene. Plus his voice just makes me want to melt.' I explained, dejected.
Charlie tried to cheer me up. 'Did you find out anything about him? You're assuming he won't be interested, but do you have any idea?'
'No. It seems he's single, but that doesn't help me. I don't have a clue, he's not camp but we all know that means nothing. He could be gay, but I doubt it. He's too good to be true already.' I sighed deeply. The guys were sympathetic but there was nothing really that they could do to help. I was just going to have to learn to live with it. With any luck the more I saw of him the more I would be able to keep my reactions under control. I couldn't help just hoping that there might be a chance of something with him though.
That was just the start of a very frustrating week. Every day I had to sit at my desk with the object of my affections so near I could hear every time he spoke, every time he moved. I didn't dare turn around without good reason, but I had questions to ask from time to time so I got quick glances at him during each day. Worse was when he headed out of the office for something. He had to walk right by my desk and every time I had to force myself to sit still and not turn around to watch his backside as he headed off.
On Friday things got a lot worse. I was actually managing to keep my mind off Greg for a few minutes. He was in a meeting with our head of department about a project he was doing, so I wasn't aware of his presence behind me and allowed myself to relax. Just as I did so my phone rang and I practically jumped out of my chair. I heard Steve laughing behind me so it must have been obvious, but in my defence the thing hadn't rung all week and I had no idea it was so loud and annoying. I only felt scared when it was the boss asking me to go join the meeting he was already having with Greg. At least it had to be work related, unless I'd made my lust obvious and was about to get told to leave him alone.
I entered the room gingerly, trying not to look scared. They were both smiling at me, only in welcome, but Greg's smile did things to me I didn't want the boss knowing about. I tried to concentrate on Richard's face rather than Greg and hoped for the best when I sat down beside him. That was closer than we had been to date, aside from when he first introduced himself to me, and I worked hard not to react. I wanted to lean into his body even though it would have been highly inappropriate right then. How on earth was my body language not screaming out 'take me now'? Perhaps it was but Greg was just too straight to have a clue.
It turned out that they had the perfect plan – I was going to work with Greg on his new project to help with all the programming that would be needed. I had to agree, it would be interesting work and I could hardly say I had no capacity to take anything else on after less than a week. I tried to look on the bright side that I would have a chance to get to know Greg, and even if nothing happened it might help me cure my obsession. The downside was having to spend lots of time with him and alone with him too, especially if the cure didn't work. I wasn't sure whether to be pleased or horrified at the prospect. Thank god it wouldn't start until Monday, so I had the weekend to prepare myself.
That night I got my first taste of the nightlife in my new home. The club was everything I expected, and lots of men clearly on the pull for whatever took their fancy that night. I had a couple of offers but no matter how frustrated I was after my week at work, I didn't want a quick fix with someone I didn't know who wouldn't be around in the morning. Mark and Charlie let me dance with them, although I beat a hasty retreat when the slow songs came on and they intertwined their bodies. A whole dancefloor was filled with men pressed closer together than you would think possible, or at least not while they still had their clothes on. I longed to be a part of it, and I knew exactly whose arms I wanted to be in.
* * * * * * *
About half way through the week I realised that the new project wasn't going to get done on time, or as well as I would like, if I didn't have help. And I also realised who was likely to get assigned to it, so it was Friday before I broached the subject with our boss. I knew Simon could do the work and he'd be able to devote plenty of time to it because he had very little else to do at the moment. But I really couldn't be sure whether I could keep things professional if I had to work closely with him. I was going to be lusting after him, I was sure, and if that became obvious then it could make the working environment very difficult indeed.
Richard thought me working with the new guy would be great. Simon seemed enthusiastic when he was asked, and my heart sank. Having him sat right beside me, even in the boss's office, was doing things to my body that I would be enjoying if I weren't at work and obsessing over a probably straight man. The deed was done now though so I was going to have to deal with it, even if I had to get some sort of straightjacket style pants to keep my dick under control for the next few weeks. At least I had a couple of days to myself first when I could try and work out some sort of plan to cope.
I went to see Carl and his family on Sunday, but it ended up being just the two of us because his wife had gone off to see her family due to the early arrival of her new niece. Carl was rather glad he'd got out of it since we had already arranged for me to be there. He was also glad for getting a proper opportunity to talk to me. Not that my sister-in-law was in the dark about me being gay, but we tended not to talk about my love life or lack thereof, while Carl always wanted to know if there were any prospects. And my behaviour earlier in the week was not going to be forgotten easily.
'So Greg, any news?'
I tried my innocent face. 'Well, the new project I'm working on is going pretty well.'
He looked unimpressed. 'You know I was asking about the new guy you have the hots for.'
'In that case there is definitely no news.'
'What, nothing? You haven't found out anything about him?'
I know I looked embarrassed. 'Of course I have. Just nothing that helps my situation. I have, unfortunately, found out that he is kind, clever and funny as well as gorgeous, and his mere presence does things to me that I won't go into right now, and makes me want to do things that I'm definitely not going to mention. And to cap it all he has been assigned to my project, so for the next few weeks he is all mine, just not in the way I'd like him to be.'
Carl smiled. I think he would have liked to take the piss, but he saw how mixed up I was already. 'But that means that you have a chance to get to know him properly, and you may get to find out he's gay or at least bi.'
I couldn't think positive right then. 'Or, more likely, that he's not and doesn't take kindly to discovering I have a major case of lust on for him. Even if you're right, he won't fancy me.'
'Why not? You look like me, and I know I'm gorgeous!'
I laughed despite myself. 'And so modest with it!' I replied.
* * * * * * *
The week started fairly well. I wore tight pants and loose trousers, and it seemed to be working to a reasonable degree, at least so that I didn't obviously have a hard-on all the time. That wasn't to say Simon no longer had an effect, but I could use my clothes to hide it, and the desk that was between us a lot of the time. I set up the project room so we were facing each other since we would need to talk, but I didn't have the same chance to study him because it would have been a bit too obvious. I was impressed at his work too, yet another way he was just too damn perfect. Even after day one his input moved things along majorly. Even if I was going to be frustrated permanently at least I would do a good job here.
In the evenings I managed to keep my mind off Simon. Not that I wasn't horny as hell and the moment I could sort myself out I did, but I kept my thoughts to other things. I didn't want to get into another situation where I let my mind run away from me. I started watching some of the porn films I had just so I could wank off to a scene on the tv rather than one running in my head, because I knew if I let that happen whatever snuck into my thoughts would star Simon.
On Wednesday when I got home I stripped and turned on the porn as was now becoming usual. Twice during the evening I beat off to a particularly hot scene where a guy was sucking cock expertly and eventually took a load in the face. I liked that sort of scene, and in the old days used to like either giving or receiving a facial, although I didn't do it all that often. If you've only got a couple of hours with a guy you tend not to get involved in too much of what you might like to happen, you just go with the flow. I also enjoyed the sucking and swallowing so it all worked for me.
When I went to bed I still had the scene in my head. I thought about going for the hat-trick, but I was too tired to worry about it, and I wasn't fully hard so I figured the edge had been taken off my sexual frustration. I turned out to be wrong.
~I felt the bed shift as Simon edged in beside me, and rolled over to face him, finding myself caught in his deep brown eyes. My arms went out to pull him close to me but he gave a grin and slid down the bed out of my grasp. My eyes stayed on his, and even as he descended further he kept our gazes locked, and I knew he could see my desire as much as I could see his. He slid his face across my taught stomach, making me groan as I felt his tongue flick across my skin. He stopped at my belly button and swirled his tongue around inside, as if he was french kissing it. I just lay there, letting him tease me as my pleasure built. His mouth went past my cock without touching it, even though it was erect and practically begging for attention. His eyes shifted to take in the view of it for a moment before he looked back at me with an amused grin.
His focus then went to my crotch. His long hair fell around me and I could feel it tickling my legs and it hid him from my view. I couldn't see exactly what he did, but I could feel him licking and nuzzling my balls. He treated them in turn to being sucked into his hot mouth and his hand went to hold the other so it didn't feel neglected. My cock did, but not for long. His lips came away from me and his tongue slowly licked up the length of my shaft, making me moan in pleasure even before he reached the head and gently lapped up the precum that was forming there. His gentle kitten licks were driving me wild but were not enough and as as though he sensed that he suddenly dived down, taking half of me into his mouth. The heat was intense and the movement of his tongue and lips, soon added to by his hand jacking off the lower portion of my dick had me writhing and moaning in pleasure.
I was panting in short breaths, trying not to get carried away too quickly, but no amount of time was going to be long enough for my liking. If I could have Simon permanently sucking my cock I thought I would. He seemed to be enjoying himself too, and I felt his moans around me as he played with me. Soon it was too much, and nothing I could do could stop it. I gasped loudly as I felt my body tense, and suddenly there was cool air around my dick and I was shooting hard into the air. My eyes were closed but I knew what I would see when I opened them. Despite only having just shot, my cock started twitching when I saw the sight of Simon covered in my cum and licking his lips as he smiled at me.~
I groaned. I could feel the sticky wetness around me and just as I was hoping that Simon would clean me up I realised I had been dreaming. The effect on my body though was not my imagination. I was lying in sweaty and cum-stained sheets, breathing hard as I recovered from an intense wet dream. In fact probably the best one I had ever had, but then it had been a lot of years since that last happened. I groaned again, less with pleasure, when I realised that now Simon was even invading my sleep. It didn't matter what I tried, I wasn't going to get over this infatuation easily.
On Thursday I was distracted and Simon noticed. I tried explaining I hadn't had much sleep, and he seemed to believe me. It was kind of true, it certainly hadn't been a restful sleep. In reality, I couldn't look at him without remembering my dream, and having the star of my fantasy right in front of me all day was driving me crazy. I rang Carl at lunchtime to try and get some moral support.
'Help bruv, I'm going mad here.'
'Just talk to him. Start some subtle conversation so you can sound him out and then tell him you're gay. The worst that can happen is he isn't, but at least you will know. I can't help other than that, it's not like I'm psychic, is it Greg?'
'What if he freaks out and doesn't want to talk to me?'
I heard a deep sigh on the other end of the phone. 'He'll still have to work with you, but you'll know. Most people don't mind even if it's not their bag. Anyway, you can find out if he's a homophobe first, don't just blurt it out.'
'I'm not sure I'm going to be able to.'
I heard an even deeper sigh as Carl despaired of me. 'Fine. Friday night we are going out clubbing. You, me and the missus. We'll go to the gay bar and you can try looking for some eye candy and get him out of your mind for five minutes. But there is only so much I can do to help. You have to find out if you stand any chance, or you'll never get over this.'
'I know.' I said as I ended the call. A night of dancing might at least get my mind off things temporarily, but it wasn't going to sort out what I was going to do. Still, only a day and a half of pleasurable torment to go.
* * * * * * *
My weekend passed by too quickly. I was even more nervous about the coming Monday than I had been about the first day at work, and I hadn't believed that would be possible. Before I knew for a fact that Greg was gorgeous, amazing and pushed all my buttons I could just hope that work was not going to be difficult, but now I knew there was no chance. And after a week of having to keep control, I had weeks to come when I was going to be even closer to him, and alone with him, and have to talk work without sitting there and drooling. And I had no idea how I was going to do it.
Mark and Charlie tried to encourage me to talk to him this week. Obviously not tell him how I felt, but at least get a feel for if he would freak out if I told him I was gay. I guessed that over the next few weeks I would have plenty of time to sound him out, assuming I didn't just make an arse of myself first. I was scared to know though, it would shatter all my illusions, and those little thoughts that crept into my mind when I was alone. Visions of being held by him, kissing him, waking up with him after a night of rampant, passionate sex. I wanted that even if it made me feel guilty and probably made things worse. Wasn't it better not to know for sure that I could never have it for real?
On Monday morning I arrived at work with trepidation, and swallowed hard when I saw the project room I was going to have to share with him for the next few weeks. Any time I looked up I would be able to see him, but I wasn't going to be able to stare, and I didn't know if I would manage that. At least I had a bit of physical space from him because our desks were between us. All the times I'd let myself imagine us being alone together we weren't working either, although we did end up out of breath.
I surprised myself though, because once I had work to concentrate on I managed to get it done and it helped me deal with his presence. I still felt my body tingle when he came near me, and the one time he leaned alongside me to look at what I was doing and then spoke so near to my ear that I felt the warmth of his breath I damn nearly moaned aloud. But I did the work and chatted to him on and off without getting tongue-tied. He had a dry sense of humour and I loved making him smile and laugh. I had the urge to try some of my more risque jokes, but it seemed like a bad idea when I was still sounding him out. He could be some major prude, although in my head he was open to anything I suggested. I even managed, at least while we were in the office, to keep those sort of thoughts out of my head. Well, most of the time.
Thursday was a little odd. I thought we were getting along fine, but he was very quiet that day, and almost looked embarrassed when he spoke to me in the morning. A slight blush in his cheeks made him look even cuter than usual, and because he kept his head down most of the morning I did check him out more than I had been doing. Perhaps he was tired as he said, but he seemed down all day, if a little better in the afternoon. I had the urge to give him a hug to try and cheer him up but figured that would be a very bad idea and totally inappropriate in the office.
By the time Friday came round Greg was back to normal, and we were both looking forward to the weekend. Better than that, we had a bank holiday, so three days of free time beckoned, and I had nothing to do apart from the final bits of unpacking. I nearly had my home set up as I wanted and it felt like mine. After I'd found out about Ken and Pete I couldn't bear to be at home for long, and it seemed like months since I had had space I truly felt at home in. I was loving my new life and my friends. Mark and Charlie I saw almost every day, keeping them updated on my progress, or rather lack of it, with Greg, and we were planning to make a regular thing of our nights out clubbing. The one thing missing in my place was someone to share it with, and for the moment I knew that only one person was going to fill that space adequately and I didn't want to contemplate that yet again.