A Night Off

My wife Cynthia died on a Monday. She had been unconcerned when she started spotting between her periods and didn't bother me with the concerns of her gynoclogist until the diagnosis came back, uterine cancer. The cancer was stage IV and highly aggressive, the doctor didn't sugarcoat the results. Cynthia fought hard, surgery, radiation and chemotherapy, but in the end the diagnosis had come too late. We planned the end as best we could and we sat up late at night simply cuddled together on the couch, enjoying each other for another day.

No matter the planning and the time we had we couldn't solve the biggest problem, our daughter Sam. Sam, short for Samantha, was our miracle baby. We adopted her after six years on the waiting list and then spent the first year getting through a number of small medical challenges. Now she was a bright, wild, and lovable three year old, a three year old that could understand why mama and dada were so sad. We tried to talk to Sam and help her understand what was coming, but we knew she wouldn't get the reality of the situation until the time came. Cynthia made her videos for later and wrote her letters for each birthday, but you could see how her death was already weighing her down.

That Monday started in a clichéd rain shower. Cynthia had been going downhill quickly and had moved back into the house for her last few days. Our doctors had prescribed a healthy amount on morphine and Cynthia told me she didn't feel the pain. I could see she was lying. She asked me to stay in bed that morning, and curled up on my lap, holding my hand to her shoulder. I felt her breathe in ragged gasps and then as she squeezed my hand her breathing stopped. I held her for another half hour, just brushing her hair with my hand, before I called the funeral home.

Sam had just woken up when the funeral home personnel arrived. I talked to the man in charge and then took Sam out to breakfast; letting them men take my wife and get her ready before Sam said her goodbyes. I wanted her last memories to be of how pretty mama was, not of an emaciated corpse curled in the fetal position on our bed.

The funeral was on Wednesday and was well attended. I have never met a person more loved than my wife, and a number of my colleagues and students from my college attended out of respect for me. Sam stood beside me while I eulogized my wife and only started crying when she saw mama in the coffin, stiff, lifeless and gone. We drove home from the graveyard in silence and spent the rest of the day curled up on Sam's bed, holding each other and crying our sadness away.

I went back to work the following Monday. My dean had offered more leave, but I couldn't stay at home any longer. Sam's grandma took her during the days so that I could work, just like before, and we settled into a routine of silently moving on. I took Sam to the shrinks so that she could move on, and I moved on in the same way I always addressed adversity, silently and with little excitement. The next two years were a haze of lifeless existence but every day was a little less of a hell than the day before.

Two years after Cynthia passed away, her mother took ill and had to move to assisted living. I helped her pack and took care of closing up her house. Sam helped Grammie put her things away in the new complex apartment and promised to visit her often. Grammie was sorry she couldn't watch Sam anymore, and I told her not to worry. It was only a year until Kindergarten started and I would make have to make other plans. We drove home as I ran through options in my head.

My neighbor, Tina, and her husband asked if Sam could spend the night that evening we dropped off Grammie. They said it was so that Sam could have a sleep over with their daughter Rayne, but I knew they were trying to give me a night off. I thanked them and said I would be over early to pick up Sam, but they told me not to worry, they were planning on going to the zoo anyway. Good friends know how to help and I accepted the offer with thanks.

For the first time in a couple of years I had a night off from being Dad. Part of me wanted to go home and curl up alone, but another part of me knew I needed to get out and do something. I finally decided to go downtown and enjoy a nice dinner and drink at a restaurant that didn't have a children's menu.

The smell of a finely seared steak wafted across my senses as I came up to the Grillhouse, our local steak cuisine hotspot. The hostess looked a little askew at me when I asked for a table for one, and offered me a seat at the bar. I looked at all the couples gazing at each other throughout the restaurant proper and decided the bar was probably a better deal. She settled me into a small table in the corner of the bar and left me with a menu and drink list.

I settled on a lovely bottle of Cabernet Franc from Argentina and a ten-ounce filet mignon, medium-rare, with grilled onions for dinner. There was no rush for the evening so I languished over my steak and ordered a Malbec for my second bottle of wine. Sitting back with my eyes half-closed, sipping the wine, I heard footsteps approach my table, heels from the sounds on the slate floor of the bar. The sound was followed closely by the smell of hydrangeas and cloves in a delicate musk back scent. Even in my self-pitying state, this mixture of senses signaled me to open my eyes and find their source.

The source was a youngish woman walking towards my table. She seemed vaguely familiar, but in my defense wine and the rather revealing little black dress that the woman was wearing dulled my senses. I continued to try and focus on the woman's features, eyes, lips, ears; trying to put a name to the face as the woman came forward and smiled a smile that would light up any man's heart, wine or not.

"Doctor Edwards is that you? Yeah I thought so. How are you doing?"

Lisa, that was the name. A student from my undergraduate seminar a few semesters back: smart, convincing in an argument, and eager to go somewhere in life. "Lisa, umm, sorry the last name escapes me."

"Wilkins, Lisa Wilkins. I am surprised you even remember me Doctor Edwards..."

"Please, you aren't a student anymore Lisa, you can call me Thomas." Yeah, the wine was definitely getting the better of me. Lisa had been a slightly nontraditional student, but she still wasn't within a decade of my age. She definitely was not within the familiar first name range.

"Okay, Thomas. I saw you across the bar and thought it was you. Do you mind if I have a seat, I just blew off my date."

"Please" I got up (with a little wobble) to pull out the opposite seat. "I guess the date was a dud." Lisa sat down with the grace of a woman familiar to heels, sliding into the seat while crossing her legs demurely.

"Dud is an understatement, that is the last blind date I agree to. It took me all of fifteen minutes to figure out the guy had a serious foot fetish. I mean it is one thing if the guy is looking at your chest, but to stare at my feet the entire time is just creepy." She titled her head back towards a rather mousy looking man in the corner and waved, the man suddenly looked downtrodden and quickly left. "I hope you don't mind, but I told the guy you were a professor for my graduate committee that I had to see before Monday."

I couldn't help but let out a little laugh. "No problem, I am happy to hear you went on to graduate work... if that part is true."

Lisa's eyes brightened, "oh yeah, I went on to work on my Doctorate in Comparative Religions, I am ABD now."

"Good, a mind as fine as yours should be working in the academy. Have a drink with me and we can discuss your thesis... that way you won't have completely lied to your date." I called over the waitress for another glass.

She laughed a light lilting trill as she took the glass from me, "that sounds good to me, but I wouldn't want your wife to get the wrong idea."

Suddenly I became very aware of the wedding band still on my finger. No matter how much wine I had in me, I felt sober as could be at that moment. I ran my finger across the top of my wine glass, "My wife passed away two years ago."

Lisa gasped appropriately, "I'm so sorry Doctor Thomas, I didn't know, and you still have your ring on..." I could see her eyes getting misty as she tried to recover from what must have appeared to her as the worst faux pas.

I placed a hand on her knee, only to calm her. "Lisa, you didn't know, and I am still wearing my ring. Let 's just call it a no foul moment okay, and please call me Thomas."

She sniffled a little as she pulled herself together. Her face was a little flushed and her breathing a little stilted from the emotional rollercoaster. "Okay, but maybe I should leave."

"I would prefer you stay and keep me company. This is the first time I have been out by myself since the funeral, and I don't know if my neighbors will be nice enough to offer this kind of opportunity again." I tried to smile a convincing smile. Lisa relaxed a little and slid her legs to my side of her chair, allowing me to see the stiletto heels I had first heard on the floor. I could see why the foot guy had stared.

"That is the best offer I have had in quite a while Thomas, I would love to keep you company. I suppose your neighbors are watching your daughter, she must be around four or five now, you were always talking about her in class." The conversation slid into a comfortable lounge of familiar and safe topics. We laughed and sighed, talking about my daughter's tendency to climb trees and her tendency to spend the weekends in the library rather than on the town. The bottle of Malbec disappeared and another bottle of Cabernet Franc took its place. At the end of that bottle we looked around to find the bar empty and the staff trying not to seem impatient.

I leaned in close to Lisa and whispered, "I think we should go find a cab before the staff throw us out." Lisa giggled and put her hand on my knee, squeezing slightly.

"I think you are right, the natives look ready for a customer sacrifice."

I had been slowing my drinking down over the night and had this point recovered a little of my wits, but Lisa's perfume and the healthy amount of décolletage exposed by Lisa leaning forward quickly beat my wits down south of my belt. I got to my feet and offered Lisa a hand. "Let 's share a cab, they can drop you off first." We left holding on to each other for mutual support as much as because of the inebriated laughter we continued to suffer from.

The night had chilled and Lisa shivered in the small wrap she was wearing. I offered her my sport coat as I hailed a cab. It didn't take long, but I was glad to be inside the heated cab. Lisa gave me back my coat and leaned forward to give the addresses to the cabbie. She leaned back and smiled. "The cabbie wants to drop you off first, it will be quicker for him." I nodded and settled in for the ride. The gentle rocking of the road lulled me into a half-doze with my eyes closing, I felt Lisa lean against me and settle in for the ride.

After a few minutes I felt Lisa's hand on my knee and her I could feel her face turn to breath on my neck. The cab slowed as I became very aware of the firmness growing in my pants. I hadn't thought of a woman in that way since Cynthia, but the mixture of wine and Lisa's hot breath made me suddenly aware of the femininity next to me.

The cabbie alerted me to my stop and gave a price. I reached into my pocket, inadvertently turning my body towards Lisa and handed the cabbie some money. As I got out of the cab, I was only half surprised to see Lisa follow me. She looked up into my eyes, asking for permission, without asking, and then tapped the cab on the roof. The cab drove off. She hooked her arm into mine and followed me up to my door.

Lisa insinuated herself against my body as I closed the front door. Her lips felt soft and tasted sweet against mine. I enjoyed the lingering touch of her hands on my arms as she prolonged the kiss. She continued the kiss down to my neck and laid light kisses along my jugular vein, matching her tempo to my increasing pulse. I could feel her breath against my skin between the kisses and was painfully aware of her body pressing against mine. After a few long moments my mind caught up with my body and I closed my hands around Lisa's body pulling her tighter.

I lifted Lisa off the floor and she wrapped her legs around my waist. We maneuvered to the living room sofa, never breaking our increasing tempo of kisses. I sat Lisa down on the sofa and continued my kisses down to her neck, tasting the slight sweetness of her perfume mixed with the salty tang of sweat. She ran her hands through my hair and ran her legs down my thighs. I could hear the gentle rush of her silky stockings between her deep breaths. We continued to kiss for a while and then broke apart to catch our breath and consider how far this was going to go.

Lisa chewed on her lower lip and looked down, "Thomas, I am sorry if this is a little forward, but I want to if you do. Frankly, I kind of had a crush on you when I was in your class and this is practically a fantasy for me."

"First, I think you need better fantasies. Second, I cannot say this would be anything more than tonight."

"I am not asking for anything more. I just want you to be with me tonight and make you feel something with me for this one time."

"Are you sure? I don't want you to regret this?"

Lisa reached between us and pressed her hand against my growing manhood. "I think both of us want this, and I am a big girl... now where is your bedroom?"

I took Lisa and guided her to my room, dodging the multitude of toys that litter any single parent's home. She giggled at the dolls mixed with Hot Wheels and then hurried after me.

My bedroom was nothing special. Lisa looked at the room and then stepped across to the dresser and my stereo. "Do you have any candles?"

"Bathroom"

"Good, go get them and then sit on the bed." I listened and brought out a couple of pillar candles that had been in a gift basket from lord knows when. Lisa was running through my MP3 player and settled on filling the room with some Barry White, her hips gyrated to the music. I gave her the candles and some matches and then sat down of the bed. She continued to gyrate to the music, swaying her hips to the bass voice of Barry as she lit the candles and lowered the lights.

I took this moment to really look at Lisa and admire her as the woman she was. She was a woman of average height with the body of a woman who is fit without being concerned about her weight. She had the soft hips of a woman past youth and the tight figure of youth just passed. Her hair was the dark raven of Black Irish and held up in a tight bun, she released the bun during her dance and let the wavy hair cascade down to her shoulders, in perfect contrast to her pale, candle lit skin. Her eyes were closed and her hands ran down her sides, accenting the curves of her figure and the gentle swell of her breasts. I sat in awe. Lisa smiled, "I am glad you like, now sit and enjoy, remember this is my fantasy."

As I concentrated on her gyrating hips, Lisa's hand reached up and unzipped the side of the dress. She let the arms of her dress fall down her body pooling the little black dress at her feet. Without the dress I saw that her body was a perfect size ten. I know most men would consider that a little thick, but I think it is womanly and beautiful. The roundness and curves of her body were beautiful without the artifice or plasticity of modern beauty standards. A matching black silk garter held up her stockings Lisa must have had high hopes for her date, she was wearing a matching bra and panty set in wonderful black silk. I must have been appreciative, since Lisa smile and walked seductively up to me.

"From your look you must approve. Lets stop there for now and get on a more even keel." Here hands grasped my shoulder and pulled me upright. "You seem over dressed for the situation." Her fingers felt warm as they unbuttoned my shirt and pushed the material away from my chest. I wouldn't say I am a hardbody, but I had been keeping in better shape since Cynthia's death. I didn't want Sam to lose both parents. Lisa noticed the work with an appreciative growl as she ran hands down my chest to my belt. I gazed into her beautiful grey eyes as I felt her undo my belt and then my pants. Lisa wasn't rushing to the main event, just getting a little more comfortable, and I didn't complain. I sighed a little when she hooked her thumbs under the waistband of my boxer briefs, a sly smile crossed her lips, "well I always thought boxers, I guess I was half right." She pushed the boxer briefs down my legs and gently pushed me back down onto the bed.

"I'm guessing it has been a while since you were in this position." I just nodded. "I thought so. That means you are a little pent up probably." She emphasized the point as she reached down and grasped my naked member, her eyes never left mine, and I couldn't do anything but groan. Lisa's hand started to move in time to the music, now Billy Ocean. "You won't last long for the first time, so just lay back and let me take care of you." I obliged and let my eyes close as Lisa laid soft kisses down my neck and chest. Her tongue played with my hardened nipple as she continued to slowly stroke me. Lisa purred softly as she continued down my stomach with her kisses and ran her free hand up my thigh. I could feel the heat building in myself and groaned in time to Lisa's attentions. "I'm glad you like, now just let go for me Thomas, come on sweetie, just let me have some fun with you," her voice took on a smoky quality, "cum for me baby, don't hold back."

I was surprised when I felt the warm wetness of her mouth envelop me. I knew I wouldn't hold out long and Lisa sensed that. Her hand moved faster as she licked the tip of my manhood, teasing the sensitive tissue to the point that my back arched and I let a guttural scream escape. I tried to pull her head away as my climax came, but Lisa batted my hands away and pulled more of me into her mouth. I couldn't hold on anymore and relaxed as my climax washed over me and flooded into Lisa's mouth, she eagerly took me and finished the experience with gentle strokes to milk the last of my seed away.

My manhood lay limp in Lisa's hand as she slid up to my chest, purring and stroking through my chest hairs with her free hand. "That is what I wanted, and you needed sweetie."

"I'm sorry, I couldn't hold out..."

"Oh baby, I knew exactly what was happening. I thought you would appreciate a nice neat ending. Besides, I like the taste, especially when it is finely aged." Her free hand worked through the hair at my temples, toying with light salt and pepper flecks. "I also figure you will last a lot longer for the main event, if you got that tension out of the way first, and I expect to be paid back." Lisa slid onto my lap, and pulled me into a sitting position. We kissed and I could detect the salty note of my seed in her saliva. The intimacy of the moment made me all the more excited.

I ran my hands down her back and then moved one hand to the side so that I could caress her bra-clad breast. My other hand continued down her back and under the waistband of her panties to caress the soft skin of her rump. The small circles her hips made in my lap signaled an appreciation of my attentions and I took the moment to kiss down her neck, sucking slightly on the soft skin underneath her ears and the hollow of her throat. My hands continued to explore her skin, touch and smell being my guide rather than sight.

As Lisa continued to squirm on my lap I reached behind her back and unfastened her bra. She shrugged the straps forward and pulled me away for a moment to look at her bare chest. Her breast were not large, an average B at best, but beautifully formed and capped by large dark areolas. I was entranced by the beauty of these smallish, soft mounds, and Lisa felt my attentive gaze as her nipples hardened to two thick dark mounds the size of pencil erasers. I felt one breast tentatively and stroked the nipple, Lisa moaned in response. I suckled on the other breast, and reveled in the soft feel of her flesh, combined with the firm texture of her nipple. I continued to play with her breast and felt Lisa move her hips in a move eager fashion in my lap. I realized that Lisa has soundlessly acquiesced control over to me and took the opportunity to roll Lisa onto her back on the bed.