I won't be long, I promise. I just want to address a couple of things, thank you all for your support, and clarify some things where I may have left a wrong impression.
First, the Thanks. I've received a lot of e-mails and public comments on the original article. More of it, in fact, than I have for anything else I've written. Nearly all of it has been kind, and most of it has been to agree with me. Even those who took issue with something I said did it in a considerate way. Thank you all. It was a pleasant surprise.
Secondly, I may have opened the door for something I didn't intend. I understand that English is not everyone's first language. When I see a story with a title like, "My Mother Lost Her Sari," or "Mama-san Steps Out," or if the author is someone whose name I can't easily pronounce, I suspect that the author may not be used to English sentence structure, punctuation, slang, regional idioms and so on. I try to take that into account, and if I choose to read it, I realize that I have to allow for these things. I'm the one who's taking the risk when I do so. I have read some of those stories and there are some that I really liked. Different cultures have different ways of looking at things. No, I take issue when the author is Bill or Mary Somebody, the story is set in Hometown, USA, and I still find the kinds of things I spoke of in my first note.
I also know that we're not all English Lit. professors. I'm not, and I don't expect that many of you are either, though there may be some. My talent, if I have any, has always been in science and mathematics, not grammar. I do have a computer though, and it has a word processor with a spell checker and a grammar checker. If you're on the internet, and can submit things to a site like Literotica, you probably do, too.
I hope I didn't give the impression that I think I'm superior to anyone, because that's not the case. I am as fallible as anyone out there and I know it. A couple of people pointed out mistakes in my own writing and I'm now a better, and somewhat humbler, writer for it.
Third, I've been reminded that there are some other things that irritate the senses of readers; things that I didn't mention. Take an overview of the stories here and you would have to assume that almost every woman in America has, at the very least, a size 38D chest and that the only men in America with less than an eight inch cock are those pitiful husbands whose wives are being fucked by anybody else in town. Of course, most men have ten or more inches and are as big around as a beer can. You know, that's alright sometimes, (even I get off on it now and then), but when it's in fifteen stories in a row it gets to be a bit much. I start to feel inadequate. I've had real, live women tell me that I'm big, but I'm not all that; certainly nothing to compare to the guys in these stories. I've put a few stories out there myself and I tend to model my characters after real people. The situations and action may be fantasy, but the people are just the way I describe them, as least as far as I know. I think that if you use believable characters, then the reader is more likely to stretch his/her imagination enough to entertain the possibility of extraordinary events. Maybe I'm wrong. I've noticed that none of my stories have reached the "Top Lists", except for my single non-fiction entry.
I've had people tell me that my stories are too long. Maybe they are, but that leads to another of my pet peeves. If I say that I walked into my sister's bedroom one day and she threw herself at me, then I think the natural question is, 'Why?'. What made her just throw out a lifetime's worth of moral upbringing? What made her decide that mine is the only cock that she's ever really wanted? I try to provide a background that will answer such questions. Maybe my introductions are too long, but there are certainly a lot of stories where it's too short, or non-existent. I'm not talking about Chapter 2 and beyond; it's to be hoped that Chapter 1 has this information. I mean that I've seen stories where it was just that quick and easy. 'I wanted to fuck my mom, so I did, and this is what she said while I did it.' If I can't believe it, I usually don't enjoy it; I'm too busy picking it apart. I don't mean here, pure fantasy like you find in the 'Celebrity' section. I know that, almost without exception, the stories here are fantasy. But much of what you'll find on this site, within the fantasy context, is presented as real events that happened to real people, in the same way that 'Robinson Crusoe' or 'Star Wars' was presented to me. I know that these things didn't really happen, but I'm willing to suspend my disbelief. Give me the means to do so and I'll be happy.
A few more of those words that make readers cringe: Site and sight – one is a place and the other has to do with vision Waist and waste – I'd love to place my hand on her waist, but she can leave her waste somewhere else Taunt and taut – I can tell she's excited because her muscles are taut, but if she taunts me I'll probably get mad and leave Its and it's – (for mummys dirty angel) there's a very cute 'How To' about this very thing that should put you forever on the right track, written by Whispersecret.
And a gentle nod to one of my critics – Ensure and insure – you are technically right. Ensure is 'to make sure' and Insure is 'to take out or issue insurance on'. My 1979 edition of Webster's also lists under Insure: 'same as ensure', but I still give you credit.
The last thing I want to bring to your attention is that there are some words that don't really even sound the same, but they're used by mistake anyway. If you were to read your work out loud you'd recognize them immediately. People do not 'set on a chair', they sit. They don't 'shutter with anticipation', they shudder. If they really do scream because they're having multiple organisms they go to a doctor. Please take your work seriously, so that I, and other readers, can, too.
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Confused by the negative comments, then some slightly off-topic rambling
Those of us with a better grasp of the English language will catch mistakes while reading. I can't believe that anybody actually thinks Bhob (or anybody else, save editors obviously) read just to look for mistakes. If you don't catch them, then I'm happy for you; your enjoyment of a potentially good story won't be affected because of them. However, some people are going to be more attuned to those things. It may not bother you, but it bothers a lot of readers. If you are a writer or editor, you should read these to improve your writing or editing ability. Obviously not all of the advice will be for you, but that doesn't mean it's bad advice or that he is being overly demanding.
I'd like to address one thing in particular: length. Obviously it'll vary for authors, depending on how much they want in the story (character development, arousal then backing off, multiple encounters, etc), and the reader will be looking for a certain length depending on what type of story they want. Sometimes those needs won't sync up. Find stories that do a better job of meeting your needs.
I don't get some comments on this site; people will criticize things that they have no right to. I don't like incest, for instance, but I wouldn't read an incest story and write how that took away from my enjoyment. Of course it did, but you wouldn't read a romance and go, "Man, that was well written, I just really wanted to read some Science Fiction. Not this author's best work." The length of a story is at least tangentially related to that, is it not? If the story is great, then aren't I happy that it's so long? And if I don't like it, then what difference does it make?
(I will sometimes include what things I like in comments, either because I'm saying, "I don't normally like this, but you wrote it so well... that I did," or at least putting my criticisms into context for the author, so they know I'm not their target audience, and so they know that I know that.)
Also, I hate when people read something like this and get mad because the author thinks he or she is so superior. Obviously he's just writing about his pet peeves, and hoping that authors read it and clean up their work. Doesn't it make more sense to assume he reads "How To" articles from others in an attempt to clean up his own work, rather than just assuming he's an arrogant prick and getting mad?more...
another great how-to
another favorite on my list.
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