A Prologue to My Sexual Awakening

If I were to be honest with him, I actually got a thrilling sensation out of my furtive trip into the motel unit. Feeling naked and vulnerable without my panties on and the form of my breasts on display under a see through blouse, had excited me beyond any normal expectations. When the breeze caressed my newly shaven lips, under the short skirt during my brief trip to the motel door, I had felt an tremendous thrill that I didn’t really understand. I knew that it was wrong, but the rush of adrenalin that I felt was unmistakable.

Unfortunately he had to get back to work and there was no opportunity to talk my feelings through at that moment. Des had only just attained the position of manager, at the merchant bank that he had worked at since he left university. Although he had acquired more flexibility and a much better salary since then, the additional responsibility of the position was still paramount in his mind. I understood that he had to get back to work so I ruefully kissed him goodbye without being able to sort out the confusion in his mind.

Alone in the motel room, I tidied up the bedroom and rearranged the bedclothes so that there was no evidence of our secret tryst. I dressed quickly and tied the satin scarf back around my breasts before putting on the transparent blouse. I opened the curtains and checked outside for a safe time to make my exit to the car. I wished that I had brought my knickers into the unit and hidden them away before Des arrived but now I would have to risk being seen and go out and get them. I made a cup of coffee to steady my nerves and waited by the window for an opportune moment.

I dashed out to the car and opened the door, crouching down beside the door and feeling around under the seat for my knickers. The breeze was making me highly aware of my exposed state and when I found them I rolled them up and hid them in my hand. Without closing the door or even extracting my keys from the lock, I straightened up and made a dash for the motel unit. I ran into the bedroom and closed the door, feverishly pulling on my panties and straightening my skirt. More confident now, I walked back out to the car and drove away, glad to have completed my mission. At least I would have some idea of what the other girls at the office were talking about when they mentioned receiving oral sex from their boyfriends or husbands.

Over the following weeks little was mentioned about our lunchtime escapade and no further parcels arrived. I realised that Des would probably not suggest going outside the house without adequate clothing again, after my protestations inside the motel room. I harboured a degree of guilt in the stifling of his sexual adventures. Luckily Des continued to improve on his oral techniques and we occasionally made love in the sixty-nine position after that. Sometimes I would be on the verge of opening up to him, and telling him the truth, about the sexual feelings that I had in complying with the instructions in the last parcel. Somehow, I never really sensed that it was the right time to bring it up again and he never mentioned it either.

On my twenty seventh birthday he brought me a new bikini to wear in our pool at home and I noticed his delight in watching me put it on.

My old bathing suit covered considerably more flesh and he had often hinted that he would like me to take it off, out by our pool, to get an all over tan. Of course I had coyly refused and made the usual excuses, noticing the disappointment in his eyes.

I kissed him and promised to wear the new costume outside in the coming summer and suggested that I may undo the bra straps for sunbathing. I realised that he was letting me set the pace for any further adventures in our sex life and accepted that it was my own fault that the parcels stopped coming.

On the days that I was at home by myself I often wondered what limits may have been reached if I hadn’t discouraged Des in the motel room that day. I was beginning to regret having curtailed his initiative by making those thoughtless comments about the discomfort that I felt at the time. I decided to take charge, the next time an opportunity presented itself, and encourage him to regain the adventurous spirit that I had so foolishly discouraged through my own childish protestations.

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Author's Note: Last year I submitted a series of short stories entitled My Sexual Awakening. If readers are interested, they can be found under the list of stories, previously submitted by me.

Barbara.