tagHumor & SatireA Romantic Tail Ch. 03

A Romantic Tail Ch. 03

byMissBri©

Dear readers,

No Lit rules were violated in the posting of these e-mails. There is lots of laughter, a little romance, perhaps a little love, but no sex, doggie-style or otherwise.

You will find alternating chapters posted by lilredjammies (Littlefoot's pack leader) and MistressJett (Dharma's mom). Each email within a chapter is written by the appropriate human.

Thanks in advance for reading!

Licks,

Jett n' Jammies

Dharma n' Littlefoot


*


Date: July 11, 2006 3:14:32 PM

From: DharmaB1tch@liTTerotica.com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Hi

To: Littlefoot96@liTTerotica.com

Littlefoot,

Thanks for writing again. It was good to hear from you, and I'm very sorry for the delayed response. Life has just been crazy around here! The big news is that Tiger and Frank have been sent away. I'm sure I mentioned before that they both like to sneak out of the house, and they're much better at it than Zeus and I, on account of their being so tiny and spring-loaded. They just wait by the door for humans to come in the house, and before the people have time to react, they're off like little bullets. Sometimes I envy them for their amazing abilities in the way of being sneaky bastards, but not right now. Tiger snuck out of the house a couple of weeks ago. He wriggled in through a window of the next door neighbor's apartment. That might not have been a big deal, but she is something called allergic. I'm not quite sure what that means, except that she had to take some kind of pills before she could come over to play with Mom and Dad. If she didn't, her face would get all red and she'd sneeze like crazy. Honestly, I don't see what the big fuss is all about. People don't look all that different with red skin than they do with pink. Mom's usually a light pink color, but sometimes when it was hot out and we got to spend the days inside with the cold air thingy cranked way up high, Mom would leave the house and then come home all bright red. It would go away after a while - red must not stick very well to people. And I sneeze all the time! It's not the most fun ever, but you don't see me taking pills for it like some silly human.

Anyway, Tiger snuck into the neighbor's place and got his fur all over the place. That must have made her mad, because she did that burning red skin thing and started panting like crazy. A big car with flashy lights and sirens came to take her away. Dad had a visit from the other neighbor later that night - she's the person who Dad pays so we can live here, and she's usually really nice to all of us. She's even friends with Tiger, and so is her dog. I guess I'm a little like Mom - sometimes I get a little tingly for girl dogs, even though I had an operation and can't make pups anymore. That bitch's name is Zen, and sometimes we wrestle and hump each other. So Zen's mom came over and told Dad that he had a week to find new homes for Tiger and Frank, because the other girl lived here first and the cats are too difficult to have around. How sad is that? Dad didn't even care... He's mad at Mom for not getting the cats yet, even though he told her he would take care of them until she could come back for them. Sometimes he can be a real jerk.

Grandma came over to pick up the cats, and Tiger emailed me later to let me know that they're okay. He didn't get to say much, though, because Grandma's computer only has dial-up and it's really slow. She took them to the place where people poke at you and give you shots. I hate shots! They both had to get them, and get their temperatures taken too. I don't like that either, but I'm sure I don't have to tell you how indignant the cats were about it. The veteran person told Grandma that the cats were healthy, except that Frank needs to have his teeth cleaned. Grandma was going to take the cats to a place called Watermelon Ranch, which is like a fancy kennel where the cats could play and sleep and snigg each other's butts all day until someone new came to adopt them. They really don't want to be adopted, they just miss Mom and are sad that she hasn't come back for them yet. Grandma said that she wanted to come get them by now, but she can't afford to fly here and bring them back with her. I'm not sure how that works, since humans don't have wings. And, if they did, why would they have to pay to use them?

The ranch has a waiting list that's two months long, so Grandma is going to have the cats live with her until then. She loves them too much to send them to the scary shelters that put animals to sleep forever, and everyone is hoping that Mom will be able to come back for them before they have to go to the ranch. Tiger says it would be fun at the ranch, but really he'd rather skip it and just live with Mom again. Plus he heard from Grandma that Mom has adopted another boy kitten, who she named after her grandfather. I guess he just died, and it made her very sad, so her roommate brought the baby home for her. He lived in a barn before he moved in with them - what I'd have given to have smelled his butt then! Tiger and Frank are very curious about the new cat and hope they get to meet him soon.

Zeus is still mopey about Mom being gone. He's trying to be brave like me, but he's not as good at it. We cuddle a lot after we're all tired out from wrestling, and I try to be a good big sister. I tell him stories about fun things we did with Mom before she left, and I can usually cheer him up.

Your plumber sounds exciting! We've never had anyone take our toilet off of the floor, but I bet it would smell truly amazing. I don't think I've ever smelled anything more interesting than cat butt, but maybe I can figure out a way to make a plumber come here and pick up the toilet for me. People are always saying that it's good to have goals, and I think that will be my new one.

I'm sorry to have rambled on for so long... We've all been very anxious around here, and I'm worried about Mom too even though I won't admit it to Zeus. Your email was very interesting, and I'm dying to hear about the Collar of Shame!

Licks,

Dharma

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