A Sense of Symmetry Pt. 09

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KarennaC
KarennaC
613 Followers

"I never said you were crazy. It just sounds kind of strange to me, but just because it's never happened to me doesn't mean it couldn't happen at all."

"There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy," Dani quoted.

"My name isn't Horatio," her mother said, "but I get your point. Okay, well, just let me know when exactly we need to be in court next Monday, and we'll be there."

"Thanks, Mom."

After Dani hung up, she went looking for Sean. She finally found him hiding in his closet. "Sean, is something wrong?" she asked. "The monster didn't come back, did she?"

"Yeah, but she not scary now," Sean said.

"Anna says your daddy told you that your mommy's going to take you away."

"He say, he wish I stay here. But Mommy maybe not a monster. He say, I see you again."

"Sean, will you come out here, please?" Sean crawled out of the closet, and Dani pulled him onto her lap. "Sweetheart, we want you to stay here too," she said. "And in a few days, we're going with Martin- do you remember Martin?"

Sean nodded. "I go in his car yesterday."

"On Christmas Day, that's right. Well, Martin's going to go with Jason and me to talk to a judge. Do you know what a judge is?"

"He tell people what to do. Like where kids live."

"That's exactly right, Sweetheart. Well, we're going to go see a judge, and ask him if you can stay here with us. And your Mommy will ask him if you can go live with her. Then the judge will decide where you're going to live."

"He gonna say I live with Mommy," Sean said. "My Daddy say so."

Dani felt an irrational surge of anger at Ben. How could he say something so terrible to his own son? The fact that Ben, in both her dreams and Sean's, had been correct about everything so far was not something she wanted to think about. "Well, maybe Daddy's wrong this time," she said to Sean.

"No! My daddy never wrong!" Sean burst into tears.

Dani hugged him and rocked him gently. "I'm sorry, baby," she said. "I didn't mean to make you mad. Of course your daddy isn't wrong. But I wish he was, because I want you to stay here."

"Me too," Sean said. "But Daddy say Mommy be nice. He say I see Anna."

This didn't make any sense to Dani. Sean would see Anna but not the rest of them? She didn't know if it didn't make sense because she was hearing it from a two-year-old, or because Ben hadn't made sense when he'd told Sean. Ben seemed to enjoy not making sense in her dreams, but since this had been Sean's dream, Dani thought he probably would have tried to explain things more clearly. "Well, of course you'll see Anna," she told Sean. "You'll see all of us." And if I have anything to say about it, you'll see all of us all the time, because you'll be living here, she thought. But she didn't say it out loud, because she didn't want to upset Sean any more.

* * *

Jason's mother called twice that day. Both times, Jason hung up the phone as soon as he heard her voice. "Jason, maybe she's calling to apologize," Dani said.

"You still don't know my mother very well, do you," Jason said. "She doesn't apologize. If she's wrong, she ignores the whole thing. She only calls when she wants to tell me more about how wrong I am."

"Sounds like someone else I know. That's the same thing you do."

"Yeah, so I learned from her. Anyway, until she actually admits she's wrong about this, I'm not speaking to her. Or to Dad, since he just sat there and let her spout off. He said he likes having a grandson, but I guess he doesn't like it enough to stand up to Mom."

"Jason, you're doing it again. You won't talk to her until she apologizes, but how can she apologize if you won't talk to her?"

Melanie started crying, saving Jason from having to reason his way out of this. Dani picked up the baby, who continued wailing. Then Dani saw inside Melanie's mouth. "Jason, look!" she exclaimed. "She's getting a tooth!"

Jason stood behind Dani so he could see. One top front tooth was poking through Melanie's gum. "That's my little steroid junkie," Jason said. "Doing everything early." Dani had been given steroid injections eight weeks before her due date because the doctor had feared that Melanie would be premature. She had only been three weeks early, however, and Jason had begun using the steroid shot as an explanation for everything from Melanie's birth weight of eight and a half pounds to the child's holding her head up off Dani's shoulder when Melanie was only three days old.

"It isn't the steroids, Jason," Dani said, as she always did. "She's just highly advanced."

"Of course she is," Jason said. "She's your daughter."

"She's our daughter," Dani corrected.

"Me, too," said Anna, who had come up behind them.

"Me, too," repeated Sean, who had followed Anna.

"You aren't a daughter!" Anna said scornfully. "You're a boy!"

"I am, too!"

"Sean, Anna's right, sort of," Jason said. "Only girls can be daughters. Boys are sons."

"I your son," Sean said.

Jason looked at Dani helplessly. Dani handed him the baby, then picked up Sean. "Of course you are," she said. "And even if you go to live with your mommy, you'll still be our son."

"He has to live here!" Anna said.

"Sweetie, that isn't up to us," Dani told her. "Remember, I told you we're going to talk to a judge. The judge will decide where Sean lives."

"He say with my mommy," Sean said.

"We don't know yet what he'll say," Jason argued.

"Yes!" Sean insisted. "Daddy tell me!"

This was the first time since their Christmas shopping trip that Sean had mentioned his dreams in front of Jason. "Your daddy told you?" he repeated. "How?"

"I dream it," Sean said. "Daddy always come dream with me."

Dani nodded when Jason looked at her. "Sean's daddy's evidently been doing a good job letting Sean know what's going to happen," she said.

"Well, I'm glad someone knows," said Jason. "You guys want to see what Melanie has?"

"Is it a present?" Anna asked excitedly.

"Not quite," Jason replied. He knelt so the kids could see Melanie. "She's getting her first tooth," he said, lifting Melanie's upper lip so they could see.

"What a good baby!" Anna said, giving her sister a hug. "You're a big girl now, Melly. Now you can have cookies!"

"I don't think she's quite ready for that yet," Dani said, smiling. "She needs a few more teeth to be able to handle a cookie."

"Why don't you two go back upstairs to play," Jason said to the kids.

"We need a snack," Anna said.

Jason took two packets of fruit snacks out of the cupboard. He opened them and gave one to each child. "There's your snack," he said. "Now please go upstairs."

"Come on, Sean," Anna said. "We'll play cars."

"I don't wanna," Sean said, following Anna.

"You have to."

"Anna, don't be bossy," Dani called after them. She turned to Jason. "Sean's been having dreams about Ben since he came here, as far as I know," she said, anticipating Jason's question. "It makes sense. You know he had one the night before we went Christmas shopping."

"Yeah, but I thought that was the only one," Jason said. He put Melanie into her baby swing. "I still don't understand," he said, winding the swing. "How can you and Sean have these dreams?"

"I don't really understand either," Dani admitted. "I always thought once someone was dead, that was it. I mean, I believe in Heaven, but once you're in Heaven, I kind of figured that's where you stay. But there's lots of movies about angels talking to people, or coming back from Heaven, or whatever. And don't we believe that when someone dies, they watch over their loved ones?"

"That's what my parents taught me."

"So if Ben is Sean's guardian angel or whatever now, how much of a jump is it to believe that he's communicating with Sean?"

"What about you?"

"I'm Sean's guardian. When he talks to me, he's still looking out for Sean."

"I'm Sean's guardian too."

"But Ben didn't know you that well."

"Yeah, and he knew you too well."

Dani could tell from his tone that Jason's temper was approaching the boiling point again. "Jason, you aren't honestly going to fight with me over why my now-deceased best friend is communicating with me and not you, are you? Because if you are, I think I'll call Guinness and have you listed under 'World's Dumbest Argument.'"

Jason seemed about to argue, then laughed instead. "All right, I'll chill out. At least someone here knows what's going on."

"I wouldn't be too sure of that," Dani said.

* * *

Wednesday morning, while Dani was trying to get Melanie to try some strained peas, there was a knock on the door. "Anna, open the door, please," Dani said.

Anna did. "Mommy, it's a stranger!" she shouted at the top of her lungs.

"Not so loud, please," Dani said, covering her ears. She wiped the food off the baby's face and went to the door. "May I help you?" she asked the woman who was standing there.

"Are you Mrs. Sheridan?" the woman asked.

"Yes. Please come in; it's cold out there, and I don't want to leave the door open. The baby has a cold."

The woman came in, and Dani shut the door behind her. "Mrs. Sheridan, my name is Kendra Holmes," the woman said. "I'm a social worker. The court has asked me to evaluate you and your husband to see if your home is the appropriate placement for Sean Ryan."

"His last name is Mills," Dani corrected.

Kendra consulted her folder. "I have Ryan here as the last name," she said. "Regardless, the court, as I said, has asked me to evaluate you in preparation for your custody hearing."

"It's pretty early in the morning for something like this, isn't it?" Dani said. "My husband's still sleeping."

"He is? And why is that?"

Dani decided that the woman was an arrogant witch. Unfortunately, what this arrogant witch told the court could make the final difference in whether or not Sean was allowed to stay with the Sheridans. "He works second shift," she explained. "He usually doesn't get home until around one in the morning. Last night, he worked some overtime, and didn't get home until three."

"I see," Kendra said. "Mrs. Sheridan, I am sorry to have just dropped in like this. It's our policy; if there's a problem, we want to find it, and if we gave advance notice of our visits, any problems would be covered up. I could come back another time, but-"

"But it would look better if we did this now," Dani said. "Ms. Holmes, I have no objection to your checking things out now. I just ask that you try to be quiet. My husband's been working fifty to sixty hours a week since Sean came, so we can have enough money to make a good home for him and our daughters. I'm very protective of Jason's sleep."

Kendra smiled. "I can certainly understand that. My father worked third shift for thirty years, and I can remember my mother sending my brother and me outside as soon as we got up in the morning so we didn't disturb Dad. I will need to speak with Mr. Sheridan at some point, but I think we can do that later. It would have to be sometime today, though. Our office is only open a half day tomorrow, and of course we're closed Friday for the New Year."

"Jason's usually up by ten or eleven," Dani said. She heard the kids running upstairs. "Actually, with that noise, he may be up sooner," she added.

"How old are your daughters?" Kendra asked.

"Anna's three and a half, and Melanie's six months, almost seven."

"I can see why Mr. Sheridan works overtime," Kendra said. "It must cost a lot to keep them in clothes."

"We buy at sales and resale shops. And my girls have a couple of older cousins who give us hand-me-downs for them."

"And you buy clothes for Sean, as well?"

"He hasn't needed much since he's been with us, but we've bought him a few things. Some friends of ours at our church also gave us some things that their sons had outgrown."

"Mrs. Sheridan, do you think it's all right to dress your children in only second-hand clothes?"

"First of all, Ms. Holmes, we don't dress them only in second-hand clothes. But I would rather go to a reputable resale shop and get my children four or five second-hand outfits that are in good shape, and in some cases haven't even been worn, than go to a children's clothing store, spend the same amount of money, and get just one outfit that they'll wear once or twice and then outgrow. The resale stores I go to check their items over very carefully, and as long as the clothes that I put on my children are in good shape and not worn out, I don't see where it really matters if they're new or second-hand."

"I see your point," Kendra said. "I don't have children myself, so I don't really know how much new clothes can cost. Mrs. Sheridan, do you work?"

"Not at the moment. I did take a part-time job after Sean came, but it was only for the Christmas season, to earn the money for presents. Jason and I agree that we would rather have him work overtime so we can afford to have me home with the kids."

"I see. And while you were working, who took care of the children?"

"Jason. He didn't like having to get up so early, but he did take good care of them."

"So you're home with them all the time now? Doesn't that get pretty tiring after a while?"

"Not really," Dani replied. "Melanie's a pretty low-maintenance baby. Feed her, change her, and cuddle her, and she's happy. Sean and Anna love to entertain her. They need more attention than Melanie, of course, but when they start getting too wound up, I send them outside if it's warm enough or upstairs to run around and get some energy out. Jason's home for a few hours between the time he gets up and the time he leaves for work, so he can give me a break if I need one. That's when I get most of the housework done, then and after I put the kids to bed at night."

"I'm sure your house must get pretty messy, with three kids," Kendra said. "Would you mind showing me around? I'd especially like to see where Sean sleeps."

"Of course," Dani said.

The whole time they had been talking, Kendra had been making notes in her folder. Now, as she followed Dani, she took the folder with her. "Just let me get Melanie settled," Dani said. She took the baby out of her bouncy seat, where she had been sitting while Dani tried to feed her, and put her in the playpen, which had a selection of Melanie's favorite toys in it.

"She doesn't seem to mind being in there," Kendra commented.

"She isn't in there very often," Dani replied. "She takes her naps there, because she and Anna share a room and Anna doesn't nap anymore. I send Anna to their room to rest, and keep Melanie down here so Anna doesn't keep her awake. The only other time I put Melanie in the playpen is when I have to leave the room. Would you like to see the upstairs or the rest of the downstairs first?"

"Upstairs, please," Kendra said. "I'll keep it quiet so we don't wake Mr. Sheridan."

Anna and Sean were in the girls' room, shining a flashlight into the closet. "Don't tell me you have a monster in there, Anna," Dani said.

"That's what we're looking for," Anna said. "I heared a big roar in there, but Sean says you chased the monster away."

"She did," Sean said. "The other-mommy monster all gone now."

"The other-mommy monster?" Kendra repeated.

Sean nodded. "My daddy tell me. My other mommy bad. So I live with daddy. My other mommy want take me away. But now she nice. She not in my closet no more."

Kendra, looking confused, turned to Dani for an explanation. "When Sean first came here, he said there was a monster in his closet," Dani said. "Over time, he told us that the monster was his other mommy, who wanted to take him away from us. After he had spent some time with Julie, though, the monster went away." She hoped she sounded more convincing than she felt.

"Who told Sean that his mother was a monster?" Kendra asked.

"I don't think anyone did. He apparently got the idea from overhearing Ben talk about Julie."

"And what did you say when you found out who he claimed the monster to be?"

"We tried to be understanding. His mother had abandoned him when he was very young, and he really had no memory of her. I told him that I didn't think his mother was a monster, and that she would-"

"Mommy Dani say my mommy good now," Sean interrupted. "No more monster."

"Sean, do Jason and Dani ever tell you bad things about your mommy?" Kendra asked.

Sean considered the question. "No," he said finally.

"Do they tell you anything about your mommy?"

"She good now."

"They tell you that your mommy's good now?"

"Uh-huh. Mommy Dani say, I still in her family even if I live with my mommy."

Kendra made a note in her folder, then looked at Dani. "This must be your daughters' room," she said.

"Yes. Would you like to see Sean's room now?"

"Please."

Dani took her down the hall. "Were you cleaning before I got here?" Kendra asked. "I don't know many two-year-olds who keep their room this clean."

"I two-and-half!" Sean called from Anna's room.

"I'm sorry!" Kendra replied, laughing.

"Sean picks up his room on his own," Dani said. "I guess where Ben was raising him alone, he taught Sean to help out by picking up after himself. Plus he usually saves the really big messes for the girls' room or downstairs."

The door to Dani and Jason's bedroom opened, and Jason came out. He had apparently figured out that they had company, since he was wearing jeans and a clean shirt. "What's going on?" he asked.

"Jason, this is Kendra Holmes," Dani said. "The court sent her to evaluate us as a placement for Sean."

"It's nice to meet you, Mr. Sheridan," Kendra said, holding out her hand.

Jason shook it. "You, too. Are you going to be evaluating Julie, too?"

Dani cringed, but Kendra didn't seem to mind the question. "As a matter of fact, I'm going there as soon as I leave here," she said. "I'm an equal-opportunity busybody."

Dani had to smile. Maybe Kendra wasn't so arrogant after all. "Do you need to talk to Jason privately, Ms. Holmes?" she asked. "I could stay up here with Sean and Anna."

"That would be good."

"Where's Melly?" Jason asked.

"In her playpen. Asleep, by the sound."

"Mr. Sheridan, if you wouldn't mind?" Kendra said.

"Sure."

The two of them went downstairs, and Dani went back to the girls' room. "So, is there a monster?" she asked the kids.

"Mommy, who's that lady?" Anna asked.

"She's a social worker," Dani replied. "It's her job to tell the judge if this is a good place for Sean to live."

"It is," Sean said.

"You know that, and I know that," Dani said. "But the judge has never been here, so he doesn't know that. He wants someone who doesn't live here to tell him."

"Oh," Sean said. "No monster here."

After a few minutes, Dani heard Jason coming back upstairs, and went into the hall to meet him. "Ms. Holmes said to thank you for your time," he said.

"She's gone?"

"Yes. What was that all about, anyway?"

"Well, the court can't just take our word that we're good parents. They need proof from someone who isn't involved."

"What do you think she thought?"

"Well, are we good parents?"

"Of course we are," Jason said vehemently.

"Then that's what she thought," Dani said. I hope, she added to herself.

KarennaC
KarennaC
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