A Slave to the Servants Ch. 26

It was an odd display. I assumed it was so the other girls would note how interested he was and not harass me. If he'd asked I would have told him not to treat me different, but he obviously had his own ideas.

I felt akisson my head and he was gone.

I sat staring blankly ahead, waiting, when Rose took my hand.

"They wish us to write Ciara, as we did before," she said gently.

I had no ideas and sat looking at her. Rose took the initiative and started to write a short story. I wasn't even sure exactly what it was about. Fuji drew pictures for it later in the morning. It was all a blur to me.

My kneeling place was by the front gate at lunch. The sun here was so much warmer than in the mountains. I knelt in the warm rays and a tear crested my eye. Kennedy would love the weather here. She adored sitting in sunny places and talking with me. I was sure wherever she traveled she would like the warm places best.

Hannah was never that particular with light. Obviously she adored the sky, but she had liked exploring the crevices in the mountain, too. Darkness and cold never seemed to bother her. Probably this would suit her well for a mining career. That seemed a good way to earn money.

"Sweet woman," a voice crooned softly and I looked up surprised.

Kein knelt directly in front of me and took my hands. I hadn't even noticed or heard him.

I rose to stand and motion to my left surprised me. Basin stood with Rose, her kneeling place under his arm and a bowl in his hand. It seemed they were going with us.

We walked as group into the forest. I heard the rustle of the leaves as we passed through and the tread of boots behind me. When Kein stopped I looked at the thick forest still in front of us.

"Sit," Kein said softly pushing me back.

He'd placed my kneeling place on a stump. It made a comfortable chair. Obediently, I sat and watched him. Light filtered down through the trees and dappled the inside of the forest. A stream of light hit his head and I noted how soft the waves in his hair looked.

"She hasn't spoken without a prompt in two day cycles," Kein said and I looked at him absently. "She just stares in front of her and waits for us to tell her what to do. What is wrong? Did she say anything to you today?"

The question was not directed to me. Rose sat like I did on a similar stump.

"No," Rose answered, "it is probably a form of sadness. It is very deep. It can get worse with childbirth. I imagine the children leaving her is making it worse."

"Do many women on Earth get this?" Basin asked carefully.

"Yes, my sister on Earth had it," Rose answered. "She was ill like this for a long time. We had things on Earth to help, but here...I just don't know."

Basin started to name off healing creams he'd heard of. Rose considered them, but didn't think any would help. She talked about theelectroshock therapy, that her sister had undergone. It was difficult, but she tried to explain the concept to Kein and Basin. Everyone seemed frustrated.

They were standing in the forest and talking about me like I wasn't here. Some deep part of me wanted to be irritated with them, but that would take so much energy. Still, I managed some attitude.

"I'm right here," I protested weakly looking at Kein.

The voice behind me startled me as the rest of the family made themselves known.

"Barely, little Sister," Bane said sounding worried, "you are barely here."

"You must not do this," Rose said shaking my arm. "I know your girls, they are very strong. They will be upset if they hear of this. Hannah will protect Kennedy if she needs it. Your girls will do well."

My shoulders slumped a little as I started to tear. "I have to do it again."

"Yes," Rose said with determination, "and we will help you. You must wake up and stop this. The girls would be upset. It is time to be strong."

We talked through lunch. At some point we ate. I was fed the root in addition to my meal. The men knew how my stomach could be.

I felt like azombieand fought to pull myself out of it. For the first time in a long time I tried to converse normally. It seemed to work and my mind cleared a little.

After the lunch, I felt a little more like myself. I talked to Rose on the beach and tried to make peace with my situation. Sinking into a depression wasn't going to help. I had to keep myself out of it.

To distract my mind, I tried to focus on the here and now.

"What happened to Vesa and her friends?" I asked Rose.

Fuji answered for Rose. I wasn't supposed to know. She was here, but she would not be speaking to me. Everyone had been given instructions not to talk about what had happened to her and to keep us apart.

I sighed and shook my head. If I wasn't supposed to know, Fuji would make sure I never did. A command from her owners was all it took. Their word was law.

"I would like," Rose said formally, "to swim with you in the ocean. The activity would be good for both of us."

I could not believe I'd heard her correctly. When she asked the Keepers to remove her ornamentation and stepped into the sea with me, I was more shocked. The pool in the mountains had seemed like torture for her everyday. She'd always done just the required laps and jumped out.

"I must learn to be less afraid," she said as we stood in waist deep water.

I took her hand and we walked a little farther out. She wasn't truly comfortable in the water, so we just walked in the waves.

"My...family," she said softly, "is working on changing their mindset. They have requested I also change mine. I have clung to old fears for too long."

Again, I wasn't sure I had heard her right. "Your family, not your owners, wish you to change?" I asked.

She looked so animated suddenly as she talked.

"I thought it was just the mountains and the way your daughters treated them. When we came back here, I thought it would be as it was before. Perhaps away from the influence of your family they would change back, but they have not," she said excitedly. "I have a chair at the table now, Ciara. I am invited to sit with them by the fire."

I was shocked. "You didn't tell me they treated you different," I marveled.

"Oh, you were so busy with the little one and I wasn't sure it would last...They offered," she said suddenly shy, "they offered to send me back to Earth."

I couldn't believe my ears as I looked at her. Jealousy exploded in me as she talked. No one would stop her if she wanted to leave.

"I said no, of course," she continued blithely. "I still look like a twenty year old girl and time has gone on for so long. Who would I tell my family I was? I wouldn't know where to work or what to do. Besides that the portals on Earth are so dangerous. Leaving here just to be crushed in an intergalactic portal would be foolish. It would just be a terrible idea.

"Basin told me I am no longer a sex slave. I explained the concept of lovers to him and he said that's what we were. They would care for me and I would continue to love them."

I looked out over the shining sea and imagined myself pushing Rose beneath the surface of the waves until she stopped moving. It wouldn't be hard. I was certainly trained and I definitely outweighed her.

"I want to swim to the grate," I said brusquely shaking out of my weird daydream. "I'll meet you on shore."

Before Rose could react, I dove forward and swam out through the inlet toward the grate. The water was deep here and the current pulled harder. There was no way Rose would follow me, which was good for her. I wanted to kill her.

How dare she turn down freedom! The risk of the portals was worth it. This was no way to live. I was furious with her for making her choice and jealous it had been offered.

A memory came to me as I clung to the grate and looked into the dark sea. I'd asked my men to make the same choice. When I'd feared them rising against the women, I'd asked them to just stay put. Being mad at Rose didn't make any sense from that perspective.

I surfaced and took a deep breath.

It wasn't Rose's fault she couldn't reproduce. I couldn't blame her for making a choice to stay here. The portals on Earth were notable in their tendency to crush creatures using them. Blaming her for not wanting to die like that was wrong.

For a little while I swam in the water. I felt better than I had in days, more awake. Something really had been eating at me. I'm surprised it took the men this long to ask Rose for help. They must have been trying to rouse me themselves and I hadn't noticed.

I swam slowly back to shore and realized how crummy I felt. My muscles all hurt and I was just exhausted. My impulse was to curl into a ball on the beach and sleep. Rose would not hear of it.

"I have seendepressionmany times here," she told me. "Girls, that give in and give up, die. You must stay active."

We walked the beach and swam in the shallow water. Rose refused to let me just sit and mull. It was an uphill battle not to complain about how I felt.

The men came to pick me up that night and I was bone tired. I watched Damien's heels as we stepped through the wall and stopped when he stopped.

"Ciara," Bane said sharply, "stop staring at Damien's feet. Look up."

My confusion was evident as I looked up into his stern face.

"We've already discussed this," Evan informed me as Damien turned to watch me.

"Slaves look down," Christof said from behind me. "You are not a slave, to us. We will protect you, but you must trust us and look up. The way you are acting is dishonorable to the family."

The argument slipped past my lips before I could stop it. "The other men," I gestured, "will want to hurt me."

Damien's brow rose and I heard his answer before he said it. "We said we will protect you and we will. Do you think we are weak men?"

"No, Damien, I don't think you're weak," I sighed and smiled.

Family drama solved, as far as the men were concerned, we stepped onto our transport and sped to the bathing hall.

Once we reached the main compound, going to the bathhouse became a daunting endeavor. Several families stopped to advise Damien I had looked at them. He informed them I was supposed to look up and look at them.

The other men didn't like Damien's take on things. Several made the mistake of telling Damien they would take care of my indiscretion themselves. When they took one step toward me, the fight would start.

My family fought with righteous fury. Damien and his Brothers were brutally efficient in putting the other men in their place. It was never much a battle and it was always more of a beat down.

Considering the commotion I was not surprised when the General showed up. The men calmly separated as the large man entered the bathing hall. They were waiting and I was waiting, too. Now Damien would have to stop this craziness. He would not have a choice.

"What seems to be the problem?" the General asked looking between several badly bruised men and my angry looking family.

The other men were quick to tattle to the General. I was looking around and Damien refused to do anything about it. In fact, Damien had told them I was supposed to look around.

The General looked at Damien and then looked at me. Finally, his gaze settled back on the men. He looked exasperated.

"Damien can do as he wishes with his slave," the General announced. "If he wishes it to look around then that is appropriate. This is Damien's issue to control, no one else's."

The General's word was law, even if it was strange. The big man turned and strode out without a backwards glance. It surprised me that Damien and his Brothers seemed irritated by the proclamation.

We got in the water and I started to rub down Damien. He was tense and not loosening under my hands. Finally I walked around the little bench he was on and looked questioningly into his face.

"What's wrong?" I asked softly touching a bruise on his chin.

He hadn't looked injured from the fighting, but perhaps he was in pain. Not that being in pain had ever affected him before. Damien just seemed disgruntled.

"The General could have asked our reasoning," he said tightly. "The other men should know what they think is wrong. No one will ask us about our choice now. It will make it more difficult to make the men see reason."

I stood shocked and staring at Damien. Their desire for me to not look like a slave was intended to garner attention. Damien wanted to show the other men a new way to think. He wanted to guide them.

"You are a General, aren't you?" I sighed sitting on his lap. "Nu-reeh was correct."

My statement infuriated him and his stripes darkened. Christof understood what I meant. He explained it was very much like Damien to want to mentor the other men. Damien did a fine job leading his own family.

"Was that what you intended to say?" Damien asked me as I pulled the cloth across his chest.

I answered affirmatively and continued to bathe him. The answer seemed to console him for the time being.

We moved upstairs and the men dressed in their linen shifts and put mine on me. I realized, that I had been wearing it for days without noticing. We didn't have clothing for me in the mountains. Not like the light cloth would have been warm enough anyway. The ornamentation I wore up there was necessary for my comfort.

I thought of the mountains and my daughters. The dangers Hannah had discussed terrified me and I worried for Kennedy. She was leaner than Hannah, but heavier. We'd discussed it and it seemed the human bone structure was actually heavier than the Paterian. Kennedy was fast on the ground and slower in the air. I fretted over her.

I sat staring into the fire after dinner and was surprised when a knock sounded at the door. Basin entered with his family and Rose. She came right to me and looked into my eyes.

"I have seen many humans broken by this planet," Rose said with great authority looking over my shoulder. "The ones that survive seem to stay active. I have given this much thought. Ciara must be kept very active in mind and body."

It was back, I realized. My face felt slack and I had no memories of what we'd done for dinner. I was slipping in and out of some weird depression.

"You could have just asked me," I said suddenly furious at them for calling Rose. "Every time I seem off you don't have to go call HER."

I stood up and paced the room. Rose was such a damned know it all. A free, know it all my inner voice reminded me. She was not a slave to anyone. She couldn't breed, so the women did not care about her and her men considered her family. It would've felt good to have just pulled back and slugged her.

The violence in my own thoughts shocked me and I unclenched my hands. I became aware of the two families watching me and felt embarrassed. Unbidden a tear crested my eye and I fell apart.

Christof caught me before I crumpled to the ground. I sobbed in his arms as he carried me to a chair. We sat together as the conversation wrapped around us.

Rose told them this sort of thing had happened often at the Keepers. The slaves would hide it and comfort their own. The depression could be manifested with anger, sadness, acting out, or drawing in as I had been doing. She had seen it on Earth and she had seen it here. It was something that happened to humans.

"The best cure I ever saw was exercise," Rose said bluntly. "The slaves that decided to get strong enough to escape would do things to build their stamina. It seemed to actually lift them. Even though none of us ever got away, those that reacted that way survived better."

I shook my head and started to argue. My body was weak and tired. There was no way I was going to be able to exercise more than I was already. My whining did absolutely no good.

Damien had had enough from me. I was allowing weakness to overpower me and he just would not hear of it. My days would be regimented from now on.

"You shall help Rose with the stories in the morning," he demanded. "I want your mind busy. If she tells us you are not helping, I will find a way to punish you without pain. It is not my goal that you fear me, but this cannot continue."

I wanted to argue, but the look on his face told me how far that would get me. The collective mind was settled.

"In the afternoon you will swim the length of the inlet sixteen times until we tell you otherwise. We will help you exercise in the evening," he finished calmly.

Bane grinned and sat back in his chair. He talked about the small training field near the Child Keepers. No one would be there late in the afternoons. It would be the perfect place put me in my clothes and train me.

Basin laughed long and loud before he spoke, "You plan to clothe the human and train her with swords in the compound? The men will think you've gone crazy, Damien! You should hear what they said after your escapade in the bathhouse."

Damien snorted in disgust. He couldn't care less what anyone thought. If they didn't like it, they could talk to him about it. Evan grunted a laugh as Banepantomimedbeating them.

Basin's family left with Rose on Basin's arm a little while later. I watched jealously as they sauntered out. Rose was so calm and confident. I hated her for the life she led and the choices she was allowed to make. My face was a vicious scowl.

"That's it," Evan stated taking me from Christof, "your attitude is terrible. You need to be distracted."

Evan stalked toward the bedroom and I started to struggle. Long ago I'd learned what they meant when they said I needed to be 'distracted'.

"No, no, no," I wailed fighting his grip, "I'm tired and I want to sleep. I don't want to have sex tonight. You said I could say no!"

Evan smiled down at me and sat me on my feet. He didn't let me go, though. We stood in the bedroom while his Brothers surrounded us.

"All we want is akiss," he said holding my wiggling form and using the English word as it should be. "Would you deny us your affection. It means a great deal to us, you know that."

I stopped moving and stared up at him. It would have been easy to refuse him if he looked sarcastic or smug, but he didn't. Evan's face looked sincere. He could have such innocent appearing features when he wanted to.

"Please," Kein added softly brushing his hands down my sides to rest on my hips from behind, "akissto show us you still care for us."

I was surprised and turned my head to look at his earnest features.

"You have been so strange lately, so distant. We have missed you, Sister," he said tilting his face and watching me.

"I love you, Kein," slipped out as I caressed his cheek with the back of my hand.

"May wekissyou?" he asked sincerely. "Let us show you we love you, too."

I agreed and saw the smile light his features. They could be so simple sometimes.

A tug at my night dress surprised me as Evan pulled it off. I fought him a little, until he told me he just wanted tokissand reaffirm my taste on his tongue. His reasoning made sense. Evan had not tasted my skin in a long time and I knew he loved to do that.

Thekissesstarted slowly and only on my mouth. There was no fire in the action. The men just brushed our lips together sensuously. Ever so slowly I was backed toward the bed until I sat on it.

Then the menkissedme everywhere. Bane kissed the length of my spine as Damienkisseddown my legs. Evan eventually pushed me onto my back and begankissingmy labia and the entrance to my womanhood. It was tender and erotic, but never more than a brush of lips to skin.

It was a trap and they got me. When Christofkissedup my arm and skimmed his lips over my mouth, I grabbed him. Using my tongue Ikissedhim deeply, it was the signal they were waiting for.