A Sub's Eye View of Sub Space

All of those times were before I met and began my service to Sir. Almost from the beginning of our acquaintance, Sir recognized and responded to the feelings of inferiority and insecurity that directed so much of my day-to-day living. By providing a focus for my formerly diffuse need to submit, Sir helped me step back from my former practice of serving everyone. Sir showed me that dedicating my service to Sir, offering up my submission only to Sir, and being concerned with pleasing no one but Sir, would open up my life in every other area. With Sir's help, I began saying "No," when saying, "Yes" would inconvenience me. Not only has Sir taught me how to give up my ego and need for self-expression in the most important area of my life - my service to Sir - Sir has also instructed me to be more assertive in every other area of my life. As a result of Sir's teaching and training, I now refuse to try to fix everything for everyone. I have learned that I cannot make anyone but myself happy - and that it is important and beneficial to all concerned to accept that unhappiness is chosen by some people - even by some of the people I love.

Sir has helped me see that I must not become personally engaged in the emotions of others who are not the Dominant I serve. When my employers are angry, upset, or merely confused, I remain outside the welter of their emotions, which not only protects me emotionally, but gives me a perspective that often offers a solution that they cannot see because they are too focused on the negative emotions they are feeling to be objective so as to evaluate the facts and respond solely to them. When my mother whines and complains about her very real health issues and much less real personal and emotional issues, I can listen, respond with support - and possibly even make a suggestion or two - and then return to my home, the place I found and made my own whilst I was finding Sir and giving myself to him. I do this knowing that, if my suggestions are rejected (as they usually are), I will not be offended. When talking with me doesn't change her attitude or even her understanding of her situation, I do not take it personally as I did constantly in the past. Contrary to the way I always lived my life before I met Sir, I now live my life wholly, fully expressing the submissive nature that laid dormant inside me for decades before Sir allowed its expression in his service. And, I find, living my life to the fullest, engaging my mind, heart and body in the effort to serve Sir to the best of my ability, always, whilst fulfilling the obligations to job, home, pets, family and friends, leaves no room in my mind or emotions for carrying the burdens others have imposed on themselves.

And all of this change in attitude, this ability to distance myself from the negative emotions of others, is rooted in the sub space experience. Sub space was the first time I truly got outside myself and took an inventory, objectively and calmly. There were things I wanted to change, and I communicated those things to Sir so we could focus my attention on making those changes. Sir works with me to reinforce the positives in my personality, and to decrease the incidence of behaviors that are negative, but engrained after years of being practiced.

Sub space opens up my mind on a different level - my consciousness steps out of the way so that Sir can communicate with me more completely and easily. The things Sir says to me in sub space are more weighted and more important than our standard conversations, even those conversations in which Sir instructs me. When there are important matters to address, Sir will guide me into sub space so that I may bring all my attention to bear on them. One aspect of sub space that never changes is the perception of Sir, of his voice, as my lifeline back to real time. Sub space is quiet, because the only things heard there are emergency alarms and Sir's voice. That quiet, the peace that comes from being separate from ego and the physical body, unite to give added weight and gravitas to everything Sir says. That single-minded focus, that recognition that Sir's voice is all there is that matters to me, emphasizes the instructions Sir gives. No matter how hard I work to fully submit to Sir in my daily life, the inevitable filters of my personality, my will and my outside life intrude when

Sir instructs me outside of sub space.

But, when I am in sub space, when my consciousness gives way to the essence of myself, the kernel of service that resides within me opens to receive the full benefit of Sir's wisdom and guidance. Absent the demands of the physical body, my mind and imagination can more fully grasp what Sir has to teach me, and can incorporate those teachings more fully so that I can begin to put them into practice immediately.

Sir uses sub space for more than a teaching space. Sir employs sub space to allow me a chance to escape physical pain, to calm emotional upset or even just to refresh and renew myself for further service. When in sub space, I have no inhibitions, no demands and no restrictions, other than those Sir prefers. In sub space, although I remember that my orgasms belong to Sir, and that they may not be enjoyed absent his permission, I know that Sir will refuse his permission whilst stroking my clitoris and cunt, demonstrating over and over again that I have no control over my body. And, of course, the corollary to that lesson is that, since I cannot control the body to which I am so completely and intimately bound, I have no control over anything at all. Sub space - and, more importantly, my submission itself -- is about relinquishing myself. As a submissive, I have given up control of all of my life, my body, and my thoughts, to Sir. As that submissive, I enter sub space and relinquish even more. And, again, find that it truly is by giving that I receive.