A Sunday at the Benton County Fair

It was a hot Sunday morning in August and I was making my annual visit to the Benton Country Fair, in Central Minnesota. Many of us go once a year just to look, and maybe play, but to the farm families in Central Minnesota, it is a chance to show off their best offerings of dairy and beef cattle, goats, sheep, pigs, rabbits and fowl. Some pay very close attention to the latest trucks and farm machinery, but we all eat roasted sweet corn, funnel cakes, and corn dogs. The old folks marveled at the energy of long legged young ladies in tight jeans and eager farm boys who put their horses and scrubbed show cattle through the paces to impress stern old judges. The youngsters and the young at heart spend the day at the Carnival Midway, on the rides and playing the games. I do all of those things, but today it is also my turn to take shift at the information booth for the Central Minnesota Bar Association.

By the time I got to the fairgrounds, the Rooster Crowing Contest was over and a Minister dressed in a plaid shirt and jeans was on stage leading a similarly dressed crowd in singing Amazing Grace. In the background, all the less cooperative fowl had finally decided to join in for the chorus. His face looked familiar, so after the service I followed him over to the 4H Dinning Hall.

When the young lady behind the counter yelled " Hi, Reverend Larry, do you want the fried chicken again ", he nodded.

I was right behind him, and when I recognized him as one of my Son's high school friends, I whispered " so Don, are you trying to kill off the competition one chicken at a time."

He whirled around and when he saw past my recently cultivated grey beard, he said " Oh hi , Mr. Carlson, I didn't except to run into you here. .. ahhh, how about we find a bench"

We went over to the far corner of the booth and started to visit. He asked about my Son, and said he was sorry to hear that my wife had left me. I told him that the last I had heard, he was a Professor of Mathematics in Arizona. and wondered when he had become to Evangelist. He lowered his voice and told me that he was both. At the University he was known as Doctor Donald De Sille, but every summer he became Reverend Larry Lea De Sille, the traveling Chaplin for the carnival workers at Tri-State Enterprises. He added that even a man who loves the rarified atmosphere of numbers, needs to spend a little time with his feet on the ground every so often.

The carnival company has a small group of hard core carnies, but they still needed a lot of summer workers. The parents were a lot more willing to let their children travel with the show once they were told that a Baptist Minister would be there to watch over them. When I said that I thought he was a Buddhist, he smiled and said that one of his jobs was to help the carnies reduce their stress and keep their emotions under control, and they are more willing to learn about Jesus than Siddhartha. He also added that it was not a good idea to appear too educated, so he would appreciate it, if I would keep his other job a secret.

After lunch, I waved good bye and told him his secret was safe with me. I toured the grounds before going back to my booth. The Army Reserve was showing off some of the new toys, and young children eagerly climbed over and inside the Humvee, while young men with freshly cut hair were handing out tee shirts and pamphlets to the teenagers. Over at the Merchant's Building. the Trade Unions, political groups, both pro-choice and pro-life groups and a wide variety of snake oil salesmen and stockbrokers were just setting up the booths. Our booth was correctly positioned next to the Funeral Director's Association, because we both had the same mission. We performed services that our clients were unable or unwilling to perform for themselves.

The carnival workers were nursing hangovers, but by noon there were long lines at all the rides and game booths. Today was the last day of the fair, so prices for the "show specials " have been cut again, and all rides were half price. The smell of popcorn and cotton candy hung heavy in the still hot air, and hundreds of feet kicked up little clouds of dust.

By the end of my shift, the music blaring from the mid-way had quieted down and the families with children were leaving. The Budweiser Tent was still open and the ground was littered with little sticks from the Corn Dogs. Earlier, the Cheese Curds, Buffalo Burgers, Smoked Turkey Legs, Brats, and Funnel Cakes were being washed down with lemonade, soda pop, or " Grandpa's Homemade Root Beer", but now even the local dairy farmers were buying beer instead of the obligatory milk shakes. I had just started to sip my beer when the bartender looked at a young woman with bright blue eyes and tight blue jeans to match, and asked her for proof of her age.

The bartender squinted at the driver's license and recognized her name. He said, " aren't you the young lady that won Best of Show with the Angus Heifer? I thought that all the exhibiters would be halfway home by now."

She sighed and said " yes, I should be home by now but we snapped an axel on the trailer and Mom and Daddy went home to get another one, and the fair ground people said that my Heifer could stay over in the barn if someone stayed with her." She sighed again and said " I know the carnies will be here until tomorrow taking down the midway, but I am kind of afraid to hang out with them, so I guess tonight it will just me and Buttercup, and our lazy Rooster, Clyde."

The bartender looked up at the young man approaching the tent and said " well maybe we can find you a nice safe escort. Hey, Reverend Larry, have you got a minute".

The three of them chatted for a few moments and I sipped my second beer as Larry was telling Heidi that he was going to make sure that she would enjoy the rides tonight. " But first " he said, " let me treat you to dinner. The Thai Restaurant in town has a booth out here and they serve something with bits of meat, and fish in a wine sauce thickened with parched grain. It is called Panc Maka or something like that, but it really gets the juices going."

I still needed to clean up the booth and take everything home, but I had promised Carol, my girl friend that I would take her out to dinner first. By the time I got back to the Fair Grounds the sun was getting ready to set, and after putting the handouts and props in the car, I decided to walk over to the Large Animal Barn just to see what a Best of Show Heifer looks like. Judging by the muffled sounds coming from the last stall, I was not the only person interested in a prize heifer.

I quickly ducked into a corner stall when I spotted two bodies rolling around in the hay next to Buttercup.When I realized that unless they got up and walked across the isle, they would not know that I was there, I decided to stay.

Heidi was lying on her sleeping bag, and Larry was next to her. He was kissing her neck and he had his hand under her shirt. She was mumbling something about was she really going to see God, and I clearly heard Larry say " No, my dear it is not your time yet, but before we are done, you will experience the next best thing."

I watched as he unbuttoned her shirt and pushed up her bra, which looked like about a C cup, to reveal two white globes with bright pink nipples. Heidi moaned when Larry started to suck on the left breast, and when he moved to the right, Heidi reached down and started to claw at Larry crotch. She managed to get her small hand inside his pants, just as Larry's hand disappeared under her loosened belt. They were lying right next to Buttercup, so when Heidi tried to roll over on to Larry, his butt slammed into the hung bovine's side. Buttercup stopped chewing her cud and twisted her head around and slurped the side of Larry's face.

That seemed to stop the action for a few moment as they both started to laugh. After getting their hands out of each other's pants. Larry lifted Heidi off the sleeping bag and draped her face down over the heifer broad back. Then he hooked his thumbs on the waistband of her jeans and pulled them, along with her pink cotton panties, to her knees. In the flickering twilight of dusk that shown through the window, I could see the damp pale white skin of the perfectly matched globes of Heidi's butt. Larry pushed her shirt up to just under her armpits and started a trail of small kisses that led down her spine and did not stop until his nose was in her crack, and his closely trimmed beard was deep between her legs. He seemed to just hover there staring at the base of her spine but then he must have stuck out his tongue, because suddenly Heidi's head jerked back and she yelled " Oh, My God".

Larry face remained buried in Heidi's butt, and she pushed her face into Buttercups flank, and started to moan. Her moans turned to cries and she started thrashing around on that Alter of Cow Hide, until finally her body, first visibly stiffened and then went into convulsions, signaling the first of several orgasms that I would witness tonight. Heidi clawed at Buttercups back. The big Black Angus apparently had enough, and she started to roll pushing both of the annoying humans aside as she stood up. I almost gave myself away as I suppressed my laughter, when Larry landed on his back with Heidi's butt still in his face. They both scrambled out of the way just before Buttercup emptied her bladder. Having made her point, the big bovine laid back down. Larry and Heidi, realizing how close they had come to needing a shower, moved to the next stall.

My vantage point was still safe, so I leaned back in the dark corner of the stall. I might have wanted to relieve myself, but I held off because even when I masturbate, I can be very noisy and I really wanted to see this show to the end. I had been dating my current friend and lover for over a year, and maybe it was time to learn a few new tricks. They were positioned so that I had a clear side view. Larry could see the access door at the front of the barn, but he would not notice me,

They were both naked now. Heidi was laying face down on the sleeping bag that had been draped over a straw bale and Larry was behind her with just the tip of what must have been at least a 9 inch penis shoved between her legs. I could faintly hear her say that her daddy almost caught Billy Joe doing this to her last year and for the next six months she almost threw up every time she thought about the beating she would have gotten. Then I heard the soothing deep tones of a professional comforter tell her to relax and let herself go. No one was going to hurt her, and because of the unfortunate consequences of adult onset measles, she didn't even have to worry about getting pregnant. When Heidi heard that, her head snapped back and I clearly head her say " Oh, My God, I never thought about that!!"

I looked towards the barn door and thought to myself, " Careful Larry, you don't want to blow the deal by reminding her of something you don't want her to remember."

When I focused my eyes back on the two lovers, he had already entered her and his thighs were pushing up against her butt. She was starting to moan, and she was up on her elbows with her head and breasts swaying from side to side. Sometimes her head would jerk back and she would cry out while trying to swing her hips from side to side. Larry had his hands on the twin globes of her butt, squeezing the soft white flesh and his thumbs spreading her crack. I could not see what he was seeing, but I imagined that he could see her brown eye just above her vagina that was being plummeted by what I heard him refer to as his Tower of Babble. Suddenly I realized that he was not seeing that picture either because he was staring straight ahead and I faintly heard him repeating a mantra in perfect rhythm with his measured thrusting. They were both in their own ways totally enjoying the moment. Heidi in unbridled animal lust, and Larry in total control of his body.

I was wondering if he was holding back in an effort to achieve the experience of Maithuna, the ritual sex of his adopted Buddhist religion, or if he was just trying to achieve mutual orgasm. And, yes dear reader, there was no doubt that the latter goal was reached. Heidi started to shake, first with her head, and then I could see, even in the dim light, ripples cascading down her body. Larry's controlled thrusting gave way to uncontrollable jerks and suddenly guttural cries were heard from both mouths as Larry collapsed on Heidi's back.

There was a moment of silence, which was painfully broken by the Clyde, the reluctant contestant of this morning's contest, who started to crow. Larry looked up and said " so many roosters, and so little time." They both started laughing as they dressed, and I quietly sat in the dark until they left.

On my way over to have a late night drink with Carol I wondered if I might witness at least one more orgasm tonight, but that is another story.