A Warning to All Guys

This comes to you all as a warning about a scam that the police seem to be somewhat reluctant to issue. I rather wonder if that is because some of them have been caught "with their pants down" - so to speak - and that has made the force, in general, ashamed!

Originally, I was just going to send it for you and any of your guy friends who may be regular customers at Home Depot. I changed my mind, though, because I have quite recently heard that there have been reports of very similar happenings at other large supermarkets where a decent number of fellows shop. So, it looks as if soon, you won't be safe to do that shopping anywhere!

During the last month, I have become a victim of this very clever scam while I have been out shopping at Home Depot. Simply going to get supplies has turned out to be a far more traumatic experience than you would ever have imagined possible.

Now, I don't want you to be so naive as to think that this could not happen to you. I have to be as emphatic as I possibly can - even this warning may not make you safe - so take note!

So, let me tell you how the scam works: You have been into the store and, all so innocently, you wheel your basket of 'goodies' out to where you are parked. Two seriously good-looking 18 or 19-year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your purchases into the trunk. They ask if you need any help and at this point it matters little whether you accept or decline their offer, they have gained your attention - and almost certainly your interest.

Either way, the next thing they do is move around to the front of your car. They both start wiping your windshield with cloths and Windex. Their breasts are almost falling out of their skimpy bras which their tank tops are doing little to conceal. As they wash, they lean forward and press themselves against your car, seemingly careless of the fact that they are getting their tops wet. And you know how a wet top soon becomes all but transparent? Well, you are only a mere man, so it is impossible for you not to look!

It isn't long before they are finished. They look at you, smile and gesture to their work. "O.K.?" is their easy question. Scooping your drooping tongue back into your mouth, you give the windshield a cursory glance. As it happens, they have done a pretty good job so you are sincere when you thank them and offer them a tip.

They politely refuse and tell you they are simply trying to do a good deed where they can. Reluctant to just take their "No," you ask if there is anything else you can do in way of recompensing them. They look at each other questioningly, then one of them asks you if you can spare a few moments while they have a little 'conference.'

You, of course, will agree to practically anything they suggest by now, so you dumbly nod - you can hardly drag your eyes off their wet tops! They move a little way away from your car and stand talking together for a short time. They nod and come back over to where you are at your car, gaping at them. They ask if you would 'be so very kind' as to give them a ride to another Home Depot. You agree and they get into the back seat and make themselves comfortable.

On the way, they start having sex with each other. You can see their antics clearly in your rear-view mirror and make some comment. One of them climbs over into the front seat and easily persuades you to pull into a secluded spot. She unzips your pants and, with some difficulty, fishes out your already hard member and performs oral sex on you. While she has your attention, the other one steals your wallet.

It isn't until you get home and reach to get your wallet out of your pocket that you realize it isn't there. It's missing and it doesn't take you long to put two and two together - and get about seven. Those 'sweet young things' took it!

I had my wallet stolen earlier in the month - on the 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th and three times just yesterday - and very likely again this upcoming weekend.