A World Apart

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Young woman finds passion in Scotland.
1.3k words
4.29
12.3k
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***I wrote this a few years ago. It's taken me time to get the courage to post it here. This is my first attempt at an erotic romance. All feedback would be greatly appreciated.***

Fayrlyn McCray has never known true passion. Her life boring and filled with work she has decided to take a journey. A journey to a castle in the land of the Scots. After much planning and preparation she gets on a plane, leaving behind her monotonous life and looking forward to adventure.

Hailing a taxi, she heads to Dunravyn Castle. During the ride the diver tells her all sorts of tales about ghosts and spirits haunting the castle. He even tells her a story of one former Laird Dunravyn. Supposedly the Laird had met his untimely death in the castle while consummating his marriage with his young bride. It is said that she pierced his heart with a silver dagger because she wanted to marry his brother instead. And for that the Laird's brother had her executed. The claim is that to this day the Laird still haunts the castle, looking for the passion and love he had never received.

Arriving at the castle Fayrlyn was exhausted from her journey and went straight to her room to rest. Changing into a nightie she curled up in the huge soft bed and went to sleep.

Darkness. Nothing but darkness. No hint of light, no moon or stars, simple nothingness.

Out of the silence comes a noise. What was it? A rat? The wind? Could it have been...a ghost? No. She has more sense than that. But then again...

Hot breath upon the nape of her neck. Her body stiffens. Her thoughts churning, her heart pounding. She can't move.

She needs to know what is behind her so she turns, but yet she can see nothing.

What is it? she wonders. Is it as afraid as I?

Building up her courage, she reaches out. Solid, warm, yet there is something amiss.

She can feel a heartbeat, it beats in rhythm with her own.

She traces her fingers upwards. It is definitely a man, a very strong and powerful man.

Why does he not move or speak?

She begins to feel a bit bold. She lifts her hand to his face.

His features seem hard. A squared jaw, strong nose. Chiseled would be the best word. She passes over his eyes, they are closed but the lashes are long.

Moving her hands upward to his hair. It is long and soft like silk. Oh if she could only see him. She lightly traces her fingers down his forehead, his nose, to his lips. So soft, full, she wonders what it would be like to kiss them.

Her finger lingers there for a moment, just as she goes to pull away a large strong hand grasps her about the wrist, startling her from her silent exploration. She tries to pull away, but he is too strong.

She feels his lips part slowly, his warm moist tongue wraps around her finger. He draws her finger into his mouth, heat washes through her. the sensation is one she has never experienced.

She brings her other hand to his broad, solid chest, he is so tall.

He wraps his free arm about her. Pressing her to him. She knows not what to do.

Before she has time to react he presses his mouth to hers. Unable to control herself she responds to him.

Tongues entwined. the sweet taste of him fills her senses. The pleasure washing through her causes her to whimper. She hears a feral growl from low in his throat.

What is she thinking? Why has she not run away? Why doesn't she even want to?

He lifts her in his arms without breaking the kiss. She knows not where he is taking her, and part of her does not care. never has she felt this. Fear, heat, passion, desire all at once.

She feels herself being lowered. A softness beneath her. he moves himself on top of her. The weight of his body covering her causes new heat to spread through her.

He moves from her mouth kissing her face, tracing his tongue along her jaw, nipping her with his teeth. Down her neck. He licks and bites at the pulse in her neck. A sensation that nearly drives her mad. She wants more now. She runs her hands down his back. the muscles taut, the skin sleek. She can picture him moving above her, like a beast stalking his prey. The image sends shivers through her.

He kneels up and she removes his shirt. An odd feeling shirt, but her mind is to consumed to care. She runs her finger tips down his chest, his stomach. A light sprinkling of hair leading down, down. His breath catches, she hesitates, not sure what to do next, then boldly she moves her hand to his waist. She seeks out the buttons but finds none.

How odd she thinks. no, he wouldn't be wearing ..a kilt? would he? He reaches down and moves her hands away. When he leans back to her he is completely unclothed. Her hesitance now gone she reaches for him, wanting to explore his body. She retraces her steps, back down his stomach then lower, lower. She wraps her hand around his length.

Again she hears that growl. Like an animal. OH My! Her mind is reeling. What on earth is she doing, but she can't seem to stop herself.

In one smooth move he lifts her and rips her nightie from her, exposing her to him. Exposed she truly feels vulnerable. She can feel his eyes on her, like those of a wolf about to devour it's meal.

Pressing her down, he kisses her again, then slowly he makes his way down. Kissing and nipping the whole way to her full, plump breasts. the second he takes the pert, rose tip into his mouth all of her thoughts shatter, she can think of nothing only feel the powerful sensations rippling through her body.

His free hand he urges her thighs apart. He touches her in a place that has not yet known a man, yet still she has no desire to stop him.

He runs his fingertip from the top of her cleft to the place where they will soon be joined. Slowly he inserts his finger into her wetness. She gasps. He has set her body afire, there is a hunger awakened in her that she never knew existed. Finding her voice she speaks, "More, please.. Give me more."

"As you wish." she doesn't hear him say it as much as she feels his thoughts.

He removes his hand and shifts himself between her thighs. Although she is looking at him she still sees nothing, but she can sense his eyes locked with hers. All her fears are gone, there is no apprehension only a feeling of rightness. In what seemed to be less than an instant his mouth locked upon hers and he entered her, breaking through her maidenhead with ease. There was no pain for her, only the satisfactory pleasure of being joined with this mysterious stranger. He began to move within her, slowly at first, making her feel as though she would burst into flames. Faster pushing them both closer to the edge, then with one final thrust he completely buried the full length of him within her in an explosion of sensation that neither of them knew possible.

As she slowly came back to reason a bright light filled the room. When she opened her eyes she could see him finally. He was breathtakingly handsome, more so than she thought possible. Looking down at her with eyes so blue like two sapphires, he smiled the most beautiful smile.

"Thank you, m'lady. With your beautiful and passionate heart you have broken the chains of my prison. For this I will always cherish you. I will see you again someday." he kissed her one last time and then vanished into thin air. the light vanished from the room and she fell to sleep, content and happy, with a smile knowing she had just met the Laird of Dunravyn.

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4 Comments
Zodia195Zodia195over 15 years ago
Lovely

This is pretty good for your first attempt. I do think you need to describe your chars more unless you purposely withdrew that. It was a bit bittersweet though towards the end though. Overall I say keep writing.

AnonymousAnonymousover 15 years ago
For a first post its not too bad

What I would recommend you to do is to describe your characters a bit more...you don't need to go into the whole thing but give your readers a better insight into who they are...Another thing maybe if you used some metaphors and similies it would help the story quite nicely...I like the fact that there is variety in the first word of your sentences...For instance you read some stories and you always find He or She or The or They over and over again and it ticks me off...As in the way it's written you need to lengthen the story a bit because of the plot you have created needs a bit more substance in certain areas such as the history of the castle...Maybe do this with a conversation between the women and the taxi driver?...The way she met him was pretty good but the ending of the sex needs work...Some writers write a climax of some sort others end it with the party falling asleep really it's up to you however it does need work...I am not going to say the story is poor because I see that it has a lot of potential and it could be one of the greatest stories in Literotica you just need time...Always remember that when your writing time is your friend never your enemy...

AnonymousAnonymousover 15 years ago
Don't give up your day job.

Sorry. I found the storyline to be mediocre, perhaps improved by simply being longer and adding some character development. But the writing, itself, is poor. Don't bounce between present tense (patently, a bad idea) and past tense. And remember that "to" and "too" are not the same word. There's potential there, but for a story which has been sitting around for years, there was plenty of time to clean up the obvious flaws.

-- KK in Texas

AnonymousAnonymousover 15 years ago
More please!

Well done with your story, I liked the storyline and would like to see how the Laird is going to meet with the lassie again.

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