Accidental Cinderella

From his sixth story apartment window there was even less to see than usual on this rainy day. Heavy clouds and fog hung over tall buildings like ghosts. His cavernous alley view—-with the metal dumpster at the bottom, whose ear-splitting reverberations echoed mercilessly in his ears whenever it was emptied in darkness at six in the morning—-was broken only by about fifty feet square of daylight city sky that stretched due north up toward Midtown.

He had a fitful rest the night before, loud neighbors arguing next door. Now that it was a little warmer he'd let the window open a bit to allow in some fresh air. But loud conversation flowed just as freely late into the city night. Kept awake for awhile, he got angrier by the minute as he contemplated going to the leasing office the next day to complain about his annoying neighbors. When he finally leaned over, still wide awake, and looked at the clock, it read 1:47am.

Those loud echoes of shouted recriminations resounded in his ears upon waking next morning: "Marta called Tony and sez the reason you was fired was because you was takin too many breaks, not doin your job, doin this and that, and not tendin to bizness...said you was lazy. I can't support you forever ya know. This stuff can't go on and on." A female voice was softer but still audible: "I'm not lazy." The booming baritone erupted again: "Well, she sez otherwise. If the shoe fits, wear it! Otherwise change your frickin shoes! Now it's late I need to get some sleep, alright?"

Cary was going through a rough time. He had recently turned twenty-one, spring was almost over, and he'd been laid off from his day job even sooner than anticipated due to a slow down in the real estate industry. He was a record keeper of mortgage properties for the county. When he got hired, it was at a time when business was cresting, but the wave had peaked and fallen off since then. The ax fell quickly. Now he had to find work fast because his unemployment benefits wouldn't last or be enough to cover expenses. He got dressed slowly and ate breakfast, feeling deflated already by the long odds stacked against him.

His skills were limited. He was looking for anything he could get. And that included any acting jobs too because acting was a passion of his even though his prospects were limited. He had acted in a couple of plays in high school and enjoyed it immensely. He got a bit part once in New York City at a small off-Broadway playhouse. He loved going to plays. The roles he was suitable for were usually minor ones, though. He didn't have the physique or looks to be a leading man, and he wasn't the tough guy type, what they used to call "the heavy." He was still boyish looking and even appeared a little younger than his years, so he looked for minor roles for teens and family members.

He would often scour the dailies to see what the theaters were looking for. He'd search for postings for auditions anywhere he could find them. He didn't want to have to go home to Pennsylvania with his tail between his legs, broke and out of work, back in his boring hometown. His girlfriend was still there but that relationship had been tenuous ever since he moved to the Big Apple ten months ago. He still cared about her but their interests and compatibility quotients were mostly too disparate.

One day he was walking through the theater district where there were notices of auditions sometimes posted. There was one that caught his eye. It contained a list of characters and the traits they were looking for from the actors to play them. This one said, "KYLE: Boyish young man, 18-26, for a major role. Sweet, sensitive, slender, vulnerable. Prefer blonde, cute type for role of bi / gay awakening. Serious dramatic content with lighter moments."

Well, the gay part didn't really appeal to him at all but this was a major role, and he filled the physical requirements of the character perfectly. He didn't see how he could afford to pass up the audition. Besides, he could always act gay. It didn't mean he had to be gay. It depended on how much romantic interaction there was between characters. It could be minimal, he didn't know. But there was only one way to find out. He wrote down the time for the auditions and started thinking about the character of Kyle they had suggested.

He worked at night at staying toned and fit, doing some aerobics, Pilates, and yoga. Being very fluid, agile, graceful and rhythmic in his movements, he also danced to stay in shape but had shied away from dancing in public ever since someone at a club suggested he danced more like a girl than a guy. He worked on his diction and delivery, trying to project his words with force, feeling, and dynamics. He was mostly self-taught, not having the money to take acting classes. He was serious and worked hard at the craft when he had the time. He knew most of Shakespeare's plays and most all of the popular ones on Broadway. He knew the characters, and was familiar with the actors.

He hopped on a train that afternoon and negotiated his way to a half-empty car for the short ride there. He was relieved when the jaunt was uneventful, and he stepped off, only two blocks from the theater.

It was still cloudy and windy. Damp, dirty-looking cotton-ball clouds were interwoven with gray and filmy white, and rapidly scudding north toward an imperceptible horizon. He walked in their direction. He arrived somewhat loose and relaxed for the audition. Usually he would be nervous and would have to calm himself down but this time felt different. Maybe because the character was bi / gay he felt like, even though physically he might be similar to the character's appearance, he would probably be wrong for the part, in which case it would be no big deal because it really wasn't his type of role anyway. He felt it was worth an attempt, without there being a whole lot to lose. He found the entrance, opened the door and was eager to bury his worries in the persona of another character, as a way to escape for a short time the pressures of his own reality.

There was a small room with two other people waiting when he arrived. He looked again at the posting on the wall of the room and noticed he had looked at the time wrong the first time, for when the auditions began. They had begun an hour earlier at 2:00pm, and not 3:00pm. It was 3:00 now and they had already been holding auditions for an hour. He grabbed one of the script sheets off a pile on a table and quickly perused the scene he would be reading for, if, that is, he wasn't too late and they had already offered the part to someone else. He read through it quickly.

Then, in a few more minutes, a woman hurried into the room and looked around and gestured to a guy that was waiting. She turned toward Cary and the other guy that was still there and said, "Okay, two left," before quickly disappearing with the actor toward the stage.

As Cary read the scene a second time more thoroughly, he noticed that it ended with a kiss.

Oh my god! he thought. What? Could he act his way through that? Or should he just get up and leave now? What the hell should he do?

But he also noticed something else. Looking at the play's organizers listed on the front of the script sheet, there was an important director and a highly respected producer that were putting the production together. If he did get the part, it could possibly lead to more work. Who knew what might happen?—it might even have a lengthy run. But then, what if it did have a lengthy run—-did he really want to be associated with a gay character, and be known for the part?

He went back and forth in his mind with all the pros and cons, and then just decided to go ahead with the audition since the odds were against him getting the part anyway.

Reading over the plot synopsis, he found it intimidating:

"A divorced trial attorney in his forties, Carlton, crosses paths with a young, first-year law student, Kyle. His attraction to the young man permits him to realize his more gay sexual orientation and, at the same time, realize some of the mistakes he made with his ex-wife. Through a couple of plot twists and turns—-a death threat made by an ex-client who is connected to the Mob, and attempted blackmail by a vengeful ex—-he eventually succeeds in getting Kyle to fall for him, causing Kyle to temper his aspirations in regard to a career in law. After hearing of all the pressure and stresses from Carlton first-hand, he reconsiders both his career choice and his sexual orientation."

Hmm, I doubt if I can do this, Cary thought. Oh well, it'll be helpful audition experience. They're not going to want me anyway.

She finally came in to get him, and introduced herself. Her name was Sharon, the casting director. "Hi, nice to meet you, I'm Cary," he said. He swallowed hard and followed her. She led him to the wings, and he walked out toward the stage while she went around to sit in the front row of seats. There was another woman sitting next to her. Cary had the script in his hands.

They took their places. Cary lifted a wine glass from a raised table and held it as if he'd been drinking from it. "Okay, go ahead." the producer said.

Kyle: "You have a great place, so I guess a law career hasn't treated you that bad."

Carlton: "In certain ways, yes, but in other ways it's been a disaster. Like for example with my ex-wife."

Kyle: "Do you two still talk?"

Carlton: "Not any more. We did for awhile after we broke up. But, ah—things went down hill from there pretty quickly."

Kyle: "Well, that's always a shame when things end that way."

Carlton: "Yes, but luckily there's such a thing as new beginnings."

Kyle: "Yeah, I guess so."

Carlton steps forward to take Kyle's empty wine glass from his hand. He sets Kyle's glass and his own on the table. After doing so, he slips his left hand under Kyle's chin, and looks into his eyes.

Carlton: "You have a great set of lips, you know that? Too bad they've been going to waste lately."

Kyle turns away to one side. Kyle: "I'm not really like...umm..."

Carlton: "Not what? Bi, gay? Or in need of affection? Everyone needs affection, Kyle..."

Carlton faces Kyle again and coaxes him slowly into a brief kiss. They kiss again.

The director called "curtain!"

There was silence, and then there was a quiet discussion going on between the two. Cary could only hear a few parts of it, but he couldn't be sure he heard correctly.

"I think the chemistry we're looking for is there, don't you?"

"Mm, yeah, I think it is."

They were discussing the performances quietly but he could hear snatches of the conversation.

"That's the way the kiss should be." Sharon seemed to be saying. It should be sweet, tender, and a little tentative. "That's who the character is."

The other woman was the director, named Dianne. Apparently she thought there should have been a bit more lust and maybe some tongue involved.

"Well, yeah, that's what the script seems to imply," Dianne was saying, rereading the plot line and stage directions, "but at this point Kyle should be drawn more toward Carlton, I think. Let me talk to..."

Her voice trailed off as there was a pause. Cary looked around a little nervously, trying to avoid the gaze of Roddrick. Feeling a little overwhelmed, he took advantage of the brief break to compose himself. The kiss had been more "interesting" than he anticipated. Okay, maybe "interesting" wasn't the right word. It was a bit shocking, especially for the fact that it wasn't completely unpleasant. I guess a girl, or a gay guy, would say that Roddrick was a good kisser. A very good kisser, in fact. The way Roddrick had held him and looked at him before their lips met was a little intimidating, though, to say the least. His eyes were quite penetrating. It was weird, but Cary actually felt something in the kiss-—like it had genuine feeling behind it. Was Roddrick attracted to him, or simply a good actor? He didn't know for sure but felt it was possible. He'd heard that some gay guys were more attracted to straight men but he didn't know if that was a popular misconception. Could Roddrick have sensed that he wasn't really gay?

While the casting agent and the director discussed things amongst themselves, he tried to avoid Roddrick's gaze, but felt his glances.

"But we're not looking for a stereotypical queen for the part of Kyle. His character evolves from straight with bi tendencies at the beginning, to accepting a more feminine role toward the end in relation to Carlton. And I doubt if the gay community would want a queen-type character for Kyle anyway because it perpetuates stereotypes that often aren't true to life."

They seemed to be arguing quietly for awhile, which was awkward for the two on stage.

Then Dianne finally turned to address them.

"Okay," she said, "I think Cary is almost perfect for the part of Kyle, and Roddrick is in as the character, Carlton. Sharon doesn't think you act gay enough, Cary"—-they both laughed loudly—-"but I think you're fine, and just swishy enough for the character that evolves later."

They laughed loudly again as Cary blushed. Luckily, she continued on before anyone had much chance to notice.

"My only real concern is the height discrepancy. Cary, how tall are you?"

"Five feet six," he said.

"And Roddrick, how tall?" she asked.

"Six-two."

"Yeah, that could be a problem but I think I may have a solution."

There was a pause.

"Cary, can you come down here a minute, please? Roddrick, you can take a break if you want to. We'll call you back up in a few minutes. Thank you."

Cary walked down the side steps and went around self-consciously. He stood in front of the two in the front row, not knowing what to expect.

"Wow, you've got small feet for a guy. What size do you wear?"

"About seven and a half...almost," he said.

She punched into her cell phone.

"Hi Gloria, it's me. Can you come down here and bring a foot-measurer-thingy and maybe a size 7 or 7 ½ pair of shoes with about three inch heels? Yeah, woman's. Yeah, I'm sure you won't find anything in men's. Thank you hon'."

She put away her phone.

"Our costume lady, Gloria, is going to be here in a minute and we're going to see if we can get you in three inch heels to make up for the height discrepancy between you and Roddrick. Okay?"

Cary just looked at her, embarrassed, and said okay.

The director spoke up again:

"I like the way you read, Cary. And your appearance is just right for Kyle. Of course, Roddrick looks great so it makes the acting a little easier, doesn't it?" "He is a hottie," said Sharon. "Okay, here she is now..."

An older, Italian-looking woman in her late fifties, with an ethnic nose and a mother's air of goodwill, came around the front of the stage from the opposite side carrying some boxes and a foot measurer.

"Take off your shoes and socks, doll," she said. They waited in silence while he bared his small feet to the cold surface of the hard floor.

The casting agent spoke up: "Did you have any wedges back there?"

The costume lady said she didn't see one in seven and a half.

"Well, should we try to get a pair of men's three inch platforms in a seven and a half medium, or whatever, or should we just go with women's shoes, since they're almost impossible to see under the hem of his pants anyway?"

Everybody seemed to be thinking about it.

She had brought out a nylon "footie" that women need to put on to try on shoes, and she asked him to raise his feet off the floor while she slipped them on. His mortification over these events was increasing. He doubted whether all this was worth the trouble and embarrassment—-but then he kept in mind that he had actually gotten the part, and he couldn't afford to blow it now.

"Wow, those seem to fit well. How do they feel?"

They were a pair of woman's black patent pumps.

"Pretty good," he said, still rather embarrassed by the spectacle that was unfolding.

"Walk around, hon', and see how they feel."

Cary stood up and walked once up and down.

"He walks pretty well in heels. Oh—never mind!—I won't ask if you have very much experience. Not my business..." Laughter. That was the director talking.

An unknown bystander, a large middle-aged man, had walked up, and was smiling: "Wow, he's got a nice little butt, and those shoes enhance it even more."

Dianne giggled loudly. "The gays are going to love this character."

"The top men, you mean," the man said, and they both laughed even harder.

"Thank you, Gloria. On your way back to the prop room can you tell Rodrick to come back to the stage, please. I want to see if the scene works a little better with Cary in heels, so let's get ready to replay the scene, guys."

As Cary walked back along the left front of the stage around the other side to the stairs, he became self-conscious about the sound of his three-inch heels clicking against the hard floor. He felt the director was watching him walk. He also felt it was impolite not to have been introduced to the man who made those crude remarks, who may also have been watching. So he tried to walk as gracefully and confidently as possible, which meant he walked more like a woman than a man. His heels click-clacked up the stairs until he paused in front of the waiting Roddrick.

"Remember guys, the script calls for a kiss but we're doing it in three stages. The first one is more exploratory on Roddrick's part. The second is more of a mutual connection. And the third is a little steamy...yeah, guys. Rodrick, don't be afraid to let your hands wander below his lower back by the time the third kiss starts," the director said, by way of stage directions, looking at him pointedly with a slight smile around the corners of her lips.

Cary heard this remark but it barely registered. He was concentrating, knowing he needed to give them what they wanted from the scene. So he was completely focused on the character he was playing, and how he would likely react to Roddrick.

"Remember, three kisses, guys. And then curtain."

"Okay. Action."

They re-read their lines before the end of the scene, continuing their on-stage chemistry.

Then Rodrick took two steps closer to Cary and took his wine glass from his hand, setting them both on the table. He reached around his waist with his left hand and supported his lower back. Then he looked into his eyes.

Their eyes met and Rodrick's lips slowly descended on Cary's. Cary closed his eyes, and let Roddrick kiss him. Then, just like the character Kyle would, who's being seduced, Cary allowed himself to feel it, looking up into Roddrick's eyes afterward, before the second kiss began.

Cary reciprocated the second time as Roddrick held him more firmly around the waist.

On the third time—a long, more passionate lip-lock that ended with the tips of their tongues touching inside their mouths—-Cary warmly accepted Roddrick's erotic overture. Quite naturally and unconsciously, Cary placed his right hand on Rodrick's chest as their moist lips entwined together slowly and sensually. Then, after about five seconds, their lips slowly and reluctantly parted.

At the end of the embrace, Roddrick's two hands were gently and sensually squeezing Cary's soft butt cheeks.

"Okay, curtain!" the director called.

There was only silence. For a moment. Sharon made a gesture of fanning herself from the heat generated by their embrace.

"You guys definitely have some chemistry goin' for ya there. Wow! I can feel it over here."

She turned to the director and let out a laugh. Aware now of an erection, Cary flushed briefly. He folded his hands in front of him until he could compose himself. The telltale tumescence wasn't too noticeable, fortunately, due to Cary's rather modest endowment and his conveniently tight white underwear. He recovered his poise quickly.