Ache of Desire

The glow of the screen from my laptop computer was the only light that illuminated the room. I was working on another erotic story as I sat in the early quiet of the office. I had four pages written, when I needed to pause and take a break for another cup of coffee. There was another thirty minutes before the office would begin to fill with the hustle and bustle of my co-workers coming to work.

The night before was a rough one for me. I had just received an e-mail from my lover, telling me of her need to "move on". It had been a great relationship for the past eight months, but geographical constraints kept our "real time" to a minimum. I suppose we had both held the contention, that as deeply as we loved each other, that we would eventually have our day to be together, forever. She never told me the true reason why, but I surmised as best I could, that being, that there was someone else.

After lying awake for most of the night, I decided to go to the office early. I had hoped to lose myself in my work to retard the heartache and the incessant heart pangs of feeling more alone than I ever had in my life. Usually when I felt melancholy all I needed to do, was to write another erotic story. That seemed to be my solace. This time it didn't appear to be working as well.

As I sat back down in my cubicle and blew the steam from the Styrofoam coffee cup, I sat and read the last paragraph of my new story, inhaling the fragrant aroma of the hot liquid.

"Good morning, Handsome," a voice came from behind me.

I turned, a bit startled, but managed to keep from scalding myself with the hot beverage. It was Toni, the woman in the cubicle next to mine.

"Hey Toni, how are you this fine Friday morning?" I replied as friendly as I could.

I thought that I had masked the grief that wracked my soul, but obviously, I hadn't.

"Hey Brent, what's the matter with you? You look as though you lost your best friend?" she asked in a genuine tone.

As a tear leaked from my right eye, I replied, "I'm fine. It's just that I had a rough night," and I quickly wiped away the trail of the tear from my cheek. "Excuse me, I have GOT to let some of this coffee out," and laughed in my usual joking manner as I stood and hurried to the restroom.

Normally, I would have closed my laptop screen to avoid any onlookers to my erotic ramblings, with the sexual harassment laws in the workplace being as strict as they are, but this time, I forgot. My mind wasn't really with me this day. Today, my heart was my ruling factor, and it was bleeding profusely.

Toni was a "free" woman. A divorcee for about a year, now. Her late thirties age adorned her mid twenties body, nicely. She was not a drop dead gorgeous thing of beauty, but warmly attractive. With her average sized height of five-seven, combined with her well proportioned weight, along with deep blue eyes, made her looks very appealing. Mostly, it was Toni's attitude that kept her in the "ring" of chatter at the water cooler with the other guys in the office.

She always looked "fresh" and had a very appealing scent. I'm not sure if it was her perfume or her shampoo, but she always smelled delectable. She was one of the women in the office that always seemed more comfortable in the company of men, than with women. This attribute worked against her in certain ways, though. She was shunned by the other women who looked at men as being problematic and childish, due to whatever reasons that they had for feeling that way.

Toni and about three other women, didn't play their games. The other three were married and in their own little worlds. They always welcomed Toni into their circle, especially through her divorce. Because of her newly found status of being single, left Toni in a class by herself, though, which told me that she was lonely.

Toni sat on the edge of my desk peering beyond the screen of the laptop. She read the lines of the page. Her voice, faintly reading aloud;

He caressed her taut breasts as he languished his hot, wet tongue in between her soft folds while he knelt before her standing frame. His thick tongue swabbed her swollen lips, then delved between the tender puffiness in search of her sex trigger. He squeezed her breasts in each of his hands as he felt her hips rise to his buried face. Her head rocked side to side against the wall where she was pinned. The pressure of her excitement built deep within her tummy as he lapped fluently at her seeping twat. Her hands were splayed against the wall as her nails scratched into the wooden paneling, indicating her level of lust and passion. She finally could take no more and grabbed his thick red mane into her... I came up behind where Toni was sitting and stood for a few seconds as I listened to her faintly read what I had written. "Oh hell, I'm sorry. I forgot to close this," as I reached and shut the top down.

Toni spun around, startled from being brought back into reality after reading the excerpt. She stammered, "I, I'm sorry. I wasn't meaning to pry, honestly."

"It's okay, Toni. I just hope that you weren't offended. Writing is a hobby and a release valve. I should have shut it before I left," as I tried to redeem my mistake.

She stood and placed her open hand against my cheek. "It's going to be okay Brent. You are going to be okay! It'll stop hurting soon, I promise. She turned and began to walk to the time clock, where others had begun punching in for another day. Her soothing words and genuine gesture helped to take some of the sting from my wounded soul.

I stood at the edge of my cubicle and couldn't help but watch her rear end sashay as she walked away from me. Ordinarily, I would have felt a familiar twinge in my loins, but instead, I felt hurt from losing my special someone. This was going to be a very long day.

After what seemed to be a twelve hour day, the clock finally pointed to five. Finally, it was quitting time! Most of the group of workers frequented a local lounge about a block from the office building. Most times, I would pass on any invitations to join them and hurry home to make contact with my sweetie. Now that this was no longer an option, I decided as I walked from the towering building, that I would make a quick stop for a relaxing drink with the others. Hell, I needed to tie on a drunk, I tried to convince myself.

When I walked into the bar, the majority of the small tables and booths were already filled with patrons. I ambled to the bar, ordered a cold beer and stood looking around the lounge for a familiar face to join, as I tried to douse the burning heartache with the cold libation.

Facing away from the door of the bar, I watched as others were laughing or playing darts or doing anything to shake the weeks work from their psyche. It was the weekend, time for R&R. I suddenly blocked out the noises of frivolity when I heard Toni's familiar voice behind me.

"I would like a Chocolate Martini," she told the bar tender. "Here, let me get that, Geno," as I tossed a twenty up on the bar after turning to greet her.

Toni smiled a beautiful smile, "Only if the next one is on me."

I nodded my acceptance of her offer then held my beer bottle up in the air as a toast and waited for her to return the clinking of her glass to my bottle, to seal the deal.

"It's been a long week, hasn't it?" she stated.

I had to catch myself from pouring my woes to her. "Yes, yes it has been."

"Would you like to talk?" she asked.

"Sure," I said and began walking to a booth at the back of the lounge where no one else liked to sit. To me, it was perfect. It was dark, and secluded, much like my emotions at this time. "I'm not sure if I am good company right now, but I'll try and be."

"You have a great talent with words, Brent," she said right out of the blue.

Confused, I replied, "I do?" Then it dawned on me that she was referring to the story on my laptop. "Oh yeah, you liked that?"

"Ohhhhhhhhh, I liked it! The words kept racing through my mind all day," she replied with a throaty giggle. "How long have you been writing racy stories?"

Feeling myself blush, I said, "A couple of years." I had gotten feedback from the readers at the site where I posted the stories, but that was so anonymous. I had a screen name as did the readers. This was the first time that I had adulation from someone in person, other than my ex-lover.

"Maybe I could get you to give me the name of this site where you post your stories," she remarked.

I pulled the corner from the napkin from her drink and wrote down the web site. "Let me know what you thought of them, okay?"

Toni smiled, then flagged the waitress over so she could buy us another round, just as she had insisted. I really didn't care for another one, due to my down in the dumps mood, but a deal is a deal. Besides, the first one was beginning to have a calming effect on me. We each downed our drinks without a great deal of conversation. It was as if Toni could read my mood. She held her composure as a healer each time she saw my mind flash to my deep pain.

After downing our drinks, Toni asked if she could walk with me to my apartment building. I agreed and we walked the five blocks to my apartment. I had never in my twenty nine years, been on the receiving end of what was considered gallantry. Perhaps, it was a caring nature in her more than gallantry.

In front of my building, I stopped and said, "This is it."

"Are you going to be okay? Would you like for me to come up?"

"Yes, I'll be fine, but thanks for the offer Toni. I really appreciate your company."

She leaned to me, gave me a soft kiss on my cheek and passed me a small piece of paper with her phone number on it. "Yes, you will be okay. If you need to talk, call me." I turned to enter the foyer, but again, I couldn't help but peek around the corner as she walked away.

That night for me was filled with a lot of what ifs and whys, about my now defunct relationship. To sum it up for you, I sat most of the weekend on the pity pot, usually not my style. Trying to come to grips with why the ones that you love the most can hurt you the deepest, I suppose. I did manage to remember to send Toni a link to the erotic story site as I promised.

Sunday morning I awoke around ten o'clock. The strong rays of sunlight filtering through the slits of the blinds basked over my sheet covered frame. Suddenly, my eyes sprung fully opened. I had actually gotten through the night without once thinking about my loss. Could it be? Was I really getting over it this quickly?

Never having been one to look a gift horse in the mouth, I got up out of bed and headed for the shower. The steaming, clear water renewed my mind as well as my body. I tingled all over as I toweled dry as I walked into the kitchen to start the coffee pot. Next to the urn, was Toni's phone number. I smiled brightly as I picked up the torn paper and read it. It read, "I would love to live out your story, Toni. Then her phone number under the signature.

I felt that familiar surge of blood racing to my groin, something that had been void for the last three days. Then I remembered as best I could, watching Toni's butt sashay under her skirt at work that morning, and again when she walked away from walking me to my apartment. I was rapidly getting back into a normal life.

By ten-thirty, Toni's alarm went off on its radio setting. A low, soft saxophone piped out a slow sultry tune from the little speaker under the radio. She stretched like a big jungle feline after a long, deep slumber, reaching diagonally from corner to corner of her bed, with her arms stretched over her head.

When she got up to head off to her shower, her hip bumped the night stand where her laptop was sitting in its opened position. The jarring caused the screen saver to vanish, leaving the screen filled with the words of one of my stories at the site. She mused to herself, "I didn't finish the story," then she sat back down onto the bed, placing the laptop onto her thighs to finish reading it.

She slowly scoured every word. She had left off at the point where the woman was about to become ravished by her lovers engorged cock. Toni sat the laptop on the bed next to her as she rolled onto her side, placing a free hand between her nude thighs. With her head propped onto her pillows, her eyes began to pick up reading speed in tune with the tempo of the story. As her pulse increased, her scanning eyes did to. Soon, she felt the firm forefinger of her hand pressing against her soft, warm folds. Her finger began to caress her lips, then graze her stiffening clit. As the words whizzed in head, her finger stroked her clit faster and harder. Within a matter of a few minutes, she felt the pressure of her climax in her loins release her sexual energy under the touch of her stroking finger.

With each throbbing pulse of her climax, her stiffened legs twitched and jerked to all the way to her pointed toes, as her finger milked her clit for every wave of passion. Once her orgasm had subsided, she felt very relaxed, and renewed. She then smelled the aromatic coffee that had already brewed by way of a timer in the kitchen. She slipped out of her bed and wandered into the bathroom for an invigorating shower.

Her pink little bud hadn't receded completely under the fleshy hood when the first stream of hot water made a direct hit on it. Toni knew instantly that she wasn't finished "relaxing" just yet.

She had done this many times in the past, and knew the easiest stance for maximum performance of the shower stream. Leaning against the back wall of the stall, she propped one leg up on the tiles of the shower stall. One hand went to her tormented pussy to spread the lips wide apart, while the other hand roamed vivaciously over her soft breasts and taut nipples.

The strong steam of hot water relentlessly pounded away at her recently swollen clit, bringing the treasured pearl back out of hiding. The constant thundering of the steady stream gushed over her trigger until she felt the second wave of lust wince deep in her womb, then rush from her cinching folds.

After a minute or two of ridding her soul of her pent up sexual energy, she began to wash. Once rinsing clean, she grabbed the razor from the shower caddy and began to shave her slender legs. She managed to get one leg completely finished and half way through the other one, when she heard her phone ringing.

After a couple of choice curse words, she grabbed the thick bath towel, wrapped it around her body and raced to the bedroom to answer the phone from the extension receiver. "Hello?"

I responded on the other end, "Hi, Toni?"

Toni felt a wave of excitement course through her body. "Oh, Hiiiii handsome!"

Her complimentary word rushed through my ear, making me feel very much wanted and appreciated. "Hiya Sunshine. I was hoping that you were awake! I just wanted to see if you'd be interested in having brunch with me this morning?"

In her throaty voice she replied, "Well, you know, that sounds like a Great idea!"

"Fantastic! Can I pick you up, say in an hour?"

"An hour sounds good." She gave him her address, then hung the phone up.

It had been a very long time since she had actually had a date of any kind. It seemed to her that being a divorced woman placed a sign of "easy target" around her neck. She had many offers at first, but she knew through intuition, what most of them would lead to. In the first three months of her divorce, the thoughts of being used were repulsive at best. After all, she had already been run through that scenario with her past marriage, in the waning two years. And after a year of sporadic dating, that thought almost held an appeal. At least it was a way to have the touch from a man. This deal, she hoped would be much better.

At eleven-forty her door buzzer went off, and she could see on the monitor that it was Brent. "I'll be right down, Sweetie."

When the elevator doors glided open, she exited the car, quickly taking in Brent's form and what he was wearing. He had on a dark blue button up shirt, long sleeves rolled half way up his fore arms. Levi jeans that had been nicely faded through wear, covered his stout legs. He had a pair of expensive round toed leather boots on that had been buffed to a nice shine. She was internally awestruck. The only time she had seen Brent was at the office, wearing appropriate office attire. Now she was seeing the true man.

Toni had on a nice pair of khaki shorts, a white V cut blouse that pronounced her modest cleavage nicely, and a pair of sandals.

"Wow, you look great, Toni!" I said genuinely.

She could feel her cheeks flush a bit with his compliment. "Why, thank you! You look pretty damned hot yourself!" she then giggled.

I opened the door to my meticulously kept, vintage Jaguar XKE for Toni to get into. I shut the door with care, then raced around the long hood to get in the drivers seat. I turned the key, and the huge engine growled once, then purred with a deep, low purr.

"Nice car, Hon! It's an XKE isn't it?" she asked.

"Holy Shit! I AM impressed! You know a thing or two about sport cars." as my white teeth beamed with my wide smile.

We talked the entire twenty miles to the restaurant for brunch. I made Toni laugh, and she made me laugh, too. After a nice leisurely brunch, we got back into the car and headed off down the four lane freeway.

I pulled off the fast paced freeway and traveled about four miles down a winding two lane road. When we passed the outline of tall trees, I turned onto a one way road. By this time, Toni was just taking in all of the scenery as I drove around the long road cut through the towering trees.

"Where are we?" Toni asked.

"Seneca State Park. I thought we could go to the top of the hill and do some swinging."

Toni looked at him as if he had spoken a foreign language. "Swinging?"

I chuckled, "Yeah, there is a huge swing set and playground at the top of the park. It overlooks the City and has a real nice view. Okay with you?"

"Oh hell, yes! Do you know how long it's been since I've been on a swing?" she replied with her brightest smile. She wondered how something so simple and basic could have such an appeal, and how did he know this. Her calloused heart was beginning to go from self-protection mode to a slight unraveling.

We arrived at the playground on top of the park. When we each got out, I said, "I'll race ya!" and took off toward the swings.

Toni ran past him, giggling the entire time. I knew that it wasn't a challenge of speed as much as it was to help her spirit soar free again. I had determined after my self pity party, that I would show Toni the same kindness that she had shown me two days earlier. I was at one time, quite the "ladies" man, until my core had been shaken so recently. Now, luckily for me, I hoped that I could nurture my way into her heart. I did manage to vow to myself in the past two days, that I would never intentionally hurt anyone the way that I had been hurt. And I was hoping to show it.

Toni was swinging high into the air when I made it to her level. We laughed and giggled like two kids as they not only let our bodies soar on the swings, but our hearts and minds as well.

Twenty minutes gone by, Toni began to slow herself by dragging one foot into the dirt with each slowing swing. I had already gotten off the swing set and wandered the forty or fifty feet to the natural stone wall at the edge of the hill top. I stood there looking over the fast paced city below from his vantage point.

Toni walked up behind me and slid her arms around my chest as she leaned her head onto my shoulder. "This is so beautiful. I never knew this place existed."

"I came here all the time, since childhood. In fact, my first kiss was right over there," pointing to a large clump of bushes. "I was eight and she was eleven. Me and Carla."