Ah, The Life of a Geek

I blew on the top of my cup and tried to wake up. The gang gathered round for our morning coffee ritual, the eight of us meeting in the cafeteria every morning at seven on the dot. As the doors just opened we were assured the fresh hot coffee just being served. We were college students, it sustained us. I took a sip then groaned. "Coffee too hot?" Robert asked me.

"No." I growled. "Physics before lunch." The others snickered at me. I was the resident geek being a math major and I considered myself lucky for being part of the group. Three guys and five women was a great ratio for a guy to have but I owed my humble membership to Robert; he was 'smoking hot' , 'cute' and sickeningly 'delicious' to hear the girls tell it. He wasn't conceited either. He did have a winning sense of style and a bright smile that seemed to hypnotize the girls. I guess to be that good looking and not be stuck up was a huge plus in his favor as well.

"Today's the Annual Nude Day." Nelly pointed out. She was my Goddess. She had an athletic build, boyish hips, small perky breasts and brown hair cut in a bob that reminded me of a femme fatale. She loved sports, played tennis, ran and worked out at the gym five days a week. I stared at her two of those days for my required physical education class. I loved staring into her hazel eyes and thought she was the hottest thing since fresh pizza. Hey, like a said, I was a geek. Count yourself lucky I didn't use calculus to give you her measurements.

"Here she goes again." Maria complained. Maria was a dark haired diva. Heavier than the other girls, she loved fashion and always had the perfect make up combinations, she used a smoldering confidence and liberal use of color to wow the guys around her. She was the prime example of a girl who could make a size sixteen rock. Since the week started on an even day she was majoring in art. We still had to survive five more weeks before she had to choose a permanent major.

"She's got a right to her passions." Leslie said. Leslie was a good looking girl, she worked out but not as frequently as Nelly. She had blonde hair and loved to go clubbing, watching all the boys fall over themselves to be with her while she kept a running tab for later gossip.

"So how do you celebrate Nude Day?" Emory asked. He was Robert's best friend. Not as good looking, not as charming, not as interesting. I wasn't about to post judgment on what he lacked or what he had going for him considering I'd learned Klingon as a second language in High School. Nelly rolled her eyes at him then looked around.

"Not one person is going to celebrate it. They are sheep, all of them." Nelly complained.

"You do it." Karla challenged her. Karla was another hottie. A cheerleader with a rocking body and a jealous boyfriend who, mind you, was not part of our group.

"Bet if she did it, everyone would." Robert teased.

"Would you?" Nelly asked him hopefully.

"Not on your life." Robert shot back. "No way I'm prancing around in my birthday suit, warm weather or not."

"I'll do it." I said.

"Even if I give you a special prize for helping me?" Nelly asked Robert. Not a single member of the group registered my bravery. Ah, the life of a geek. I was so invisible ninja envied me.

"Hell no." Robert put his hands up as he laughed, desperately trying to put distance between himself and any possibility of volunteering.

"I'll do it." I repeated.

"We could do it as a group?" Emory offered. I knew he'd go naked just to get a chance to see the five girls take their clothes off. You had to love the calculating power of the penis. If only mine had a longer battery life. Ah, the life of a geek.

"I'm not going out there first!" Maria said, the first indication Nelly might have support.

"I'll do it." I threw back out there, third time was always a charm.

"What was that John?" Leslie asked. The others looked at me.

"I said I'll do it. It's Nude Day. Nelly wants to do it." I looked at her. "You don't have to do it alone." I swallowed nervously. It wasn't that I was afraid of going naked. I was a geek, I'd be invisible anyway, and if I did make a fool of myself it was business as usual by all accounts. But Nelly was my woman. She was my Goddess and I'd do anything for her. In fact, I planned on working up the courage to tell her that in a week or so. Honest.

Nelly considered me for a moment and I had to admit, my true fear was that I'd be discarded as a worthy Nude Day compatriot. It was like showing up to play kickball in middle school only to find out no one wanted you on your team. Let me tell you, it left a lot of time for math....

"You aren't serious." Mildred said. She was an average girl, with average looks, average grades and exceptional aspirations. What she lacked in...everything she made up for in ambition.

"Be nice Mildred." Emory warned. She put up her hand as if to ward off incoming complaints.

"I'm just warning you. You can get arrested for public indecency. Do you want to end up in jail with nothing to wear?" Why did she look at me when she said that? Why didn't she look at Nelly? It was her idea in the first place.

"I'll do it." I stated again. Old habits die hard.

"So am I." Nelly said and she stood up. My eyes widened and my jaw fell open as my version of the Second Coming began to form. Nelly opened her jacket and took it off. She folded it neatly and put it on the table. Everyone started talking at once. People around us began to get interested. "It's Nude Day people. Get with the program!" Nelly said loudly and I heard a few shouts from around us. I was helpless to see which directions they came from. Nelly took hold of her shirt and lifted it away from her body, her belly was sculpted perfection, I could see the soft outlines of muscles which attested to her dedication without losing her femininity.

"To hell with it." I heard Emory say as he stood up.

"Come on John, strip with me." Nelly said and I was suddenly on my feet. It was like I was moving in a fog. I knew planet Earth was here somewhere but it was covered in a vague mist. I could only see Nelly clearly. She had the most beautiful bra, lacy and petite with thin straps. She pulled her jeans apart then slid them down her legs. I was hooked, I was mesmerized.

I felt the cool air hit my chest, the backs of my legs. I saw my clothing pile up on the table in a chaotic mess, there in the vague white swirl that had become my peripheral vision. She was taking her time folding her clothing neatly. I just knew that I had to get my clothes off, for her. I did. Quickly. I didn't even know it.

I saw her give me a warm smile, the first one I'd ever seen her give me and I felt like I was floating in warm water. I was in heaven. I didn't care if my boxers landed on the table for not. I couldn't chance looking away to find out. I was fixated on Nelly as she unhooked her bra and wiggled out of it. Such grace! Such beauty!

Her breasts were as small as I'd thought but they were firm. I could picture cracking a tooth on them and I think I moaned because Robert slapped me upside the head and called me a dumbass while Nelly gave me a genuine smile. She put her bra on the table then pulled her panties down. My nose bled.

"Jesus Robert, you almost killed him." Emory admonished him as Karla handed me a tissue. I tilted my head back and replayed the last few minutes of my life in slow motion. I was so happy I thought I could sprout wings and fly away.

"Dude, are you crying?" Robert asked me.

"No." I said simply and looked over to Nelly who was now fully nude and smiling. People were applauding her from all over the cafeteria. Like I said, I was invisible, it didn't matter I'd gone naked first. Ah, the life of a geek. I turned to see Emory shuck the last of his clothing and Maria was in her underwear. "I can't believe I'm doing this!" She exclaimed excitedly.

"I know!" Nelly joined in. One of the party animals from Epsilon Gamma got on the table and started stripping off his clothes as his frat buddies cheered him on.

"It was nothing." I said with feigned casualness. That did it. I'd just squeezed Robert's man-pride and now he was going to crush me. He began taking his clothes off. The girls got this glassy look to their eyes and I huffed, faking a cough when Robert eyed me. What was the big deal anyway? Mildred reached out and touched Robert's naked torso, running her fingers over his carefully sculpted abs.

"Mommy, can I play with my toy?" She said in a girlie voice. The others laughed. That was ambition for you. Leslie started stripping her clothes off. Karla gasped in surprise and like a chain reaction nudity flowed like a complex integer sequence. The girls weren't concerned with neatly folding their clothes, they were in it for the attention they were getting. I started folding my clothes so I didn't stand around like a fool. It also gave me a chance to give Nelly another once over.

She had a tan that looked natural and not sprayed on, without a hint of a tan line. I could picture her sunbathing nude, that was just her style. Hell it was everyone who saw her style as well. I bit my tongue to keep from commenting on the fact that she shaved her pubic hair, the smooth skin just as tan as the rest of her. I had to look away or suffer a diplomatic incident right there at the breakfast table.

It gave me the chance to register the fact that everyone in the cafeteria had stripped naked. People were once again taking their seats, a few folded their clothes but more importantly as newcomers entered to eat they encountered a room full of naked people.

At first they didn't know what to make of it but after setting their trays down they all joined in. Thin and fat, pretty and sadly average. We were all united in our common desire to observe this important...I looked at Nelly...critically important holiday.

I sat back down to my coffee and groaned. "Physics again?" Robert asked.

"No, the seat was cold." They laughed with me. I stress the 'with' and not 'at'. I sipped my coffee and the world returned to normal. I began to see colors in different hues other than 'bright' or 'loud' and I declared myself ready for class.

We had some hundred people in the cafeteria all naked and ready for their day but no one seemed willing to walk out the door first. It was okay to be naked in a room full of naked people but how did you survive outside where people could see you from afar and didn't feel the peer pressure to join in? What about the authorities?

I glanced over to Nelly and saw that same look on her face. She glanced at me and I gave her the nod. "Okay guys, John and I are going to class." Nelly said, indicating me. I stood up. I was so proud of myself. My normally woeful Johnson was half aroused, giving me the important extra length to seem like I was well endowed and enhanced my ability to survive casual scrutiny. I could hold up my head proudly and count myself among men all because it wasn't snowing outside and I was too scared to get a public hard-on, even with this many naked girls around me.

I gathered my clothes, waited for Nelly to do the same then walked her to the door, holding it open for her as she passed through to the outside world. I could be a gentleman without ruining my 'bad dude' reputation because when you called me player you didn't think girls, you thought Dungeon and Dragons.

The world came to a standstill. Granted we were on campus and car and air traffic wasn't threatened but the guys froze in place lest they miss a single second of her beauty and the girls stood transfixed wondering what earthly power had been given to Nelly and could they possibly get away with the same. Nelly was all smiles and waved to a few of her friends, she had many.

"What the..." One guy said as became involved in a Pedestrian versus Lamppost incident. People laughed nervously at his accident when in reality they were nervously trying to categorize what their senses were logging.

"It's Nude Day!" Nelly said brightly. "Everyone in the cafeteria took their clothes off." She added. God had seen fit to include me, a mathematician as her faithful companion.

"That's over a hundred people who took their clothes off in honor of the holiday." I pointed out. People around us suddenly began talking about it.

"Glorious." Some guy said, his mouth hanging open, his eyes locked on Nelly's breasts. She giggled and stuck her chest out for him while I struggled not to turn green and tear his eyeballs out. I had to forgive him though as he began stripping his clothes off. His two friends followed suit while Leslie, Maria and Karla came out of the cafeteria and joined us, all of them completely naked. Lots of naked girls plus many willing boys made for lots of celebrants. Clothes started coming off in a chain reaction that made its way to the dorms. Those of us that lived on campus had a place to put our clothing for the day.

I stayed by Nelly's side as we made our way to our rooms to discard the clothes and get to class. Generally, we had succeeded. No one was putting their clothes back on and those who saw the number of people already naked automatically joined in. You had to love college and free thinking. Ah, the life of a geek.

"I owe you a big one." Nelly said to me when she was sure no one was in hearing range. "You're the only one with enough balls to support me." She said and I glowed with her praise. If I'd had a gun I would have shot myself right then and there so I could make it my last, utterly perfect, moment.

"I'd do anything for you." I said then heard the scream of a half dozen social alarms in my head. I felt the blood drain from my face in embarrassment but she didn't kill me, she just gave me a look like she was considering me for the first time in our friendship.

"Hey." She said suddenly and the moment passed. "I still have to try to manage my way through Advanced Algebra. You want to come over after classes and help me?" It was as if I'd just solved a fractal without my trusty calculator. I resisted the urge to sing at the top of my lungs since I couldn't carry a tune. It was far too heavy.

"You mean that?" I asked and she smiled with a nod.

"You're naked too. At least I don't have to worry about you staring at me when I can stare right back!" She teased and I gave her a hearty laugh. She was not on the same plane of existence as I was if she thought her staring at me was equal to me staring at her. I'd give her pictures of me my mother would never see for one long look at her, let me tell you. In fact, I was overcome by how unfair the whole statement was. It was like I was taking advantage of her by letting her think that. I needed to correct her immediately!

"I am all about Algebra." I said as my honor drained away and my man-pride swelled. I thought of the Alaskan tundra to keep other things from swelling at the prospect of being alone with her, naked, in her room. Besides, High School students used the sex instead of studying excuse. We were adults damn it and we could fornicate if we wanted to, we didn't need no stinking excuses.

Well, maybe with me she would.

Ah, the life of a geek.

I put my clothes up. The word had gotten around campus by now and seeing naked people had gone from a rare occurrence to the norm. People were being good college students and jumping on the bandwagon without fully realizing why. They just stripped off their clothes and rushed to class so they could see their teachers have heart attacks.

Unfortunately for me, as a geek, I was one of the few nude students in Mr. Eckelston's remedial nuclear physics class. Not that it would have mattered had I been a student sitting behind a desk but as a teaching assistant I stood just off to the side of front of the class. I kept my mouth shut as Mr. Eckleston tried to explain the lack of results on our last pop quiz but even I had a hard time following him. He used grandiose words in his zeal for the particle-wave theorem and hadn't adequately followed through with how an attempt at cold fusion could result in an unwanted fission reaction at lower temperatures. Still, what can you do. He's the man.

There were a few students that joined us without clothing, though to say three students were a few was decidedly over accurate. I did have the pleasure of having more than one girl check me out and the taboo of being naked in public coupled with girls checking me out times nine girls divided by public display while standing next to Mr. Eckelston equaled a very manly John. I just loved math. Ah, the life of a geek.

A third of the way through Mr. Eckelston's explanation on loss of electron control students began to casually strip their clothing off. Of course, as geeks, we were all compelled to do it quickly, efficiently and with minimal distractions to the lecture. We had standards after all.

As soon as class was over I was gone. If I had too many more positrons from the girls in that class I would have attained fusion in front of everyone and let's be honest, I'd never survive that social gaff, not even in Geekland.

By the time lunch came around no one was wearing clothing and I felt myself calming, which was bad. The Hulk was turning back into Bruce Banner, my original state was returning for all the world to see and I panicked. Thankfully I had lunch with the group, five naked girls included. Nelly was sitting next to me and I was once again able to achieve my formidable proportions.

I had a hard time concentrating on lunch, on the conversation and life around me. I was going to study with Nelly on the one day it would be rude to wear clothing, it was the best of both worlds. Math with the naked girl of my dreams. Utter bliss!

I could barely sit through the mundane courses I was taking after that. I was so excited I had to concentrate more on Algebra and less on Nelly so I could get up and leave class.

But the time came and it was all I could do not to rush over to her room. I didn't know how good she was at math so I took all three volumes of Algebra Made Easy. I took my calculator just in case she wanted to see my finger work and half a dozen sharpened pencils. I was taking no chances.

I got to her room and knocked on the door. I heard nothing and I suddenly realized that she might have stood me up to save herself from sitting naked in a room with geek doing math. Of course she wouldn't just call me and cancel. That was for normal people. I had no choice but to move forward, if I left now I'd never know if she was just napping or watching TV. Then again, knowing my luck, she was on her bed doing Algebra with Robert. Ah, the life of a geek.

I knocked again and heard someone move inside the room. It was faint and there was a hesitation then finally the door opened a crack and I saw an eyeball peek out. "Oh thank God it's just you." Nelly said as she grabbed my arm and pulled me inside. See, Geeks do have advantages when it comes to being non-threatening. "Guys have been crawling over me all day. Asking for dates and staring at me. I couldn't stand it anymore. What is wrong with your gender John?" She asked as she cleaned a spot for me on her bed.

"The Gene Pool is imbalanced. Men make fatal mistakes but don't die due to living conditions in civilization. This creates a scenario where men repeat the same stupid mistakes over again and instead of learning to stop others just join in." I said casually as I sorted through the books. I'd start with the beginner book and work my way up if we got that far.

She laughed. "I didn't understand any of that until the last part and you're right. Men are idiots." She smiled to me. "But you're not." I blushed. "You stood by me when I wanted to do something wild and crazy. You knew it was stupid and you did it anyway." It was time for a man moment, I shrugged indifferently.