Alice and the Looking Glass Ch. 09

Alice was swimming hard. The pool of piss and tears just got deeper and deeper and when her feet had finally lost contact with the ground she knew trouble was ahead. Tweedledee and Tweedledum had been washed away some time ago like two bobbing corks and poor Imogen just sank like a stone from the combined weight of the metal that decorated her mouth and pierced her entire torso. Alice was on her back, stroking slowly with her arms and moving her legs in a reverse frog kick. Different objects and creatures floated past at intervals and she wondered just how far the waters had expanded. In the very far distance she could here the yells of the coxswain as the race progressed.

"In...Out...In...Out."

"And shake it all about."

Sometimes a little wit can even make drowning seem less permanent. The current seemed to be getting faster and she noticed her progression was becoming more circular than straight. Faster and faster she revolved until the very movement of her body started a whirlpool sucking her down into its murky depths. Oddly Alice realized she was turning in an anticlockwise direction.

"I must be in Australia."

As if to prove the point three panic stricken kangaroos doggy paddled past closely followed by a hungry and evil looking Tasmanian devil. The banking of the vortex became almost vertical and Alice had that same oh so familiar feeling of plummeting downwards.

"Here we go again."

Her exclamation echoed upwards to Wonderland and sank to destinations unknown.

"Oh fuck, I needed that!"

The words boomed in her ears like the salvo from a battery as she shot out of the tunnel entrance. Carried downwards, enclosed by an arcing spiral stream of warm liquid Alice swan dived perfectly into the shallow end of the largest white swimming pool she had ever seen. Surfacing quickly and spitting out a mouthful of salty water she peered upwards to see how far she had fallen just in time to receive another hard soaking from the gaping chasm above.

"God that's good!"

Even submerged the volume seemed to rattle every bone in Alice's body. To make matters worse a peel of thunder reverberated down the deep sides of the swimming pool and started a small tsunami across the surface. Looking upwards Alice was pleased to see that the flow had stopped at least momentarily and the reddish hued folds of rock were disappearing behind a covering of dark wispy foliage. Alice looked away momentarily and suddenly found herself covered, well almost smothered by a large wad of white absorbent paper streaked in red.

"Oh no, it's starting!"

The paper shroud served ably to kill some of the voices volume this time and Alice managed to tear her way out of her damp cocoon fairly quickly. Looking up she noticed a string dangling from the caverns entrance and with a great deal of effort managed to reach the near end just in time to be lifted upwards to hang suspended under what she could only imagine was a huge tent. Alice grasped the string with both hands as it began so sway back and forth as the tent moved in a northerly direction.

"This is very strange." The words hardly left her mouth when another clap of thunder set her eyeballs rattling in their sockets. Worse, far worse was the cloud of toxic gas that descended around her causing severe breathing issues. Thankfully it cleared quite quickly and apart from smarting eyes and dry throat seemed to have no long lasting effects. The tent stopped moving and then tilted violently to one side and seemed to collapse onto the ground. Alice found herself laying half pinned under one of the tents massive gnarled support poles and was very lucky to be able to escape total crushing when it moved sufficiently to one side to allow her escape.

Alice lay panting for several minutes gathering her wind and trying to get some perspective on her position. She had a pretty shrewd idea that to venture upwards to where the tent poles seemed to dramatically narrow was probably not a good idea so decided to crawl on her hands and knees in the opposite direction. Moments later her wisdom was rewarded by avoidance of another cloud of poison gas she felt moisten the air behind her.

"No thunder this time. Totally silent but equally deadly."

Her voice echoed as she spoke and the reverberations made her feel far less alone. The crawl to the tents hem took several minutes and the last few meters seemed to be the worst of all.

"Smells like a cheese factory and a pretty stinky one at that."

At last she was free of the heavy cotton tent and stood in an effort to get her bearings. The ground below her feet seemed to give as she moved her weight and just out of curiosity she tried a little jump. The first landing was soft enough but the extra pressure on the surface caused a deeper depression and an equally opposite reaction.

"OHHH FUCK."

Alice had loved to trampoline when she was younger. To be frank her only real interest was that when participating she could allow her skirt to rise above her head without undue criticism. On such occasions she always went sans panties and her aerial splits were always received with a warm round of applause from the entire gymnasium.

Third bounce found Alice hovering on the very edge of the surface area, so near a precipice that her toes would have dangled entirely into thin air but for the lavatory heeled court shoes she was wearing. Fourth bounce was more a flop, landing after a short fall, her only saving the deeply piled surface and the forward tuck roll she performed with some expertise. With her usual panache she of course regained her feet immediately and posed with mock Olympic panache.

"Good form."

Alice bowed magnanimously and turned to face her audience.

"You're quite the limber gymnast but you smell appalling."

Woody Planner was a little shorter than Alice and probably quite old enough to be her grandfather. Dressed as he was in a long white apron, covering his body from chest to ankle, he looked almost to be a waiter but Alice noticed the long oblong pencil stuck behind his left ear and the handsaw firmly grasped under his right arm.

"Well you're obviously a carpenter, but what are you?"

Woody's companions whiskers bristled and puffing out his waist-coated chest replied indignantly.

"I am Hector Walrus I will have you know madam. And whom the devil are you supposed to be cavorting around like a whirling dervish in a tumbling competition."

"I am sorry if I offended you sir, no insult was intended."

Alice spread the charm on thick as butter on a fresh baked loaf of bread.

"Don't concern yourself with Walrus dear, he is just a starched shirt. Come a little closer so I can see you clearly."

Alice moved close enough for Woody to inspect her properly which he did as much with his hands as his eyes.

"I don't think you ought to be touching me there!"

Woody was fondling Alice's right breast with one hand and diddling her cunt with the other.

"Forgive an old mans foibles my dear. Would you very much mind rimming my ass while I bang one out?"

"Mister Planner you are making me blush."

The sound of muffled thunder came from above their heads and both Woody and Hector looked a little perturbed.

"Better move from this exact spot my dear, just in case we gets squished."

Grabbing Alice by the hand the carpenter lead her across the piled ground to an arched hole in a horizontal cliff that seemed to stretch upwards forever.

"We will be much safer in here and you and I can get nicely acquainted."

Something about Woody's sly wink made Alice doubt safety was the first thing on his mind but she was so enamored by his huge and florid penis shaped nose how could she refuse?

"Something smells of fish."

"That's a very rude thing to say!"

Hector looked decidedly hurt as he pushed an escaping kipper back into his jacket pocket.

"Let's sit on these rocks over here and have a nice chinwag."

The archway had led them onto a very picturesque shoreline. Certainly it was rocky and more shingle than sand but still had a very bracing atmosphere.

"Right here is the spot for you Alice."

Woody tapped his knees expectantly and Alice always wanting to please her elders obliged by sitting across them daintily. The carpenter casually slid his hand between her thighs and flicked her clit with some expertise. Walrus seemed less interested in Alice and more concerned with brushing what looked like fish scales from his evening jacket. The monocle he wore insisted on continually slipping out and falling to the ground. Every time he bent to pick it up he barked in a most disgruntled fashion.

"Don't worry about Walrus Alice, wiggle you pretty tight ass a bit faster for me."

"Where am I Mister Planner? I am really confused."

"Why twirling on my pleasure stick of course."

"Well yes I can feel that but I mean what part of Wonderland is this?"

"Wonderland? You're not in Wonderland anymore!"

Hector had stopped gnawing on a kipper skeleton just long enough to retort. "But if this isn't Wonderland however am I going to get home?

Hector was far to busy picking fish bones out of his lips to answer.

"Didn't you learn your lessons at school Alice?"

"Well yes, although I have to admit to being far too busy frigging to really remember much."

"Hector your much better at this sort of thing than me. Can you explain to the poor dear girl while she strokes my cock?"

The Walrus drew himself up to his full height and screwing his monocle carefully fast into his eye socket began to speak.

"The world is but an illusion, a happenstance of imaginings put together by dreamers."

He paused long enough to brush some breadcrumbs from the slightly frayed silk lapels of his tuxedo.

"What we see is what we desire to see, sometimes against our own best intentions."

Alice was starting to question the Walrus's logic and even her furtive polishing of carpenter's expansive knob head couldn't erase the feeling of being duped.

"Cut to the chase please Hector. Alice's mouth is watering for penis pie and you're taking far too long."

The Walrus looked at Carpenter very disparagingly.

"Not everything is about sticking something hard in a tight spot!"

Alice thought about that concept as she licked Woody's shaft from base to tip.

"The human world is like a kidney, stealing everything of any use from the water of life."

Carpenter was nodding animatedly but Alice considered that more a result of her sucking his large hairy testicles than any agreement with Walrus's high-flown precepts.

"Wonderland is more like a bladder, filling up with the resultant purified overflow."

Alice stopped sucking for a moment as a little spark of clarity lit up her mind.

"You mean I just fell out of the universes vagina?"

Carpenter grabbed Alice's hair in both hands and pushed her mouth back over his twitching helmet.

"Don't talk Alice dear you will stop the flow of Walrus's oratory and my ejaculation."

Alice gobbled away dutifully. Learning had suddenly become something far more enjoyable and she considered momentarily if further education was an admirable goal.

"You popped like a sedimentary kidney stone from the urinary tract of the Mother of Creation. A fine product and proof of post Darwinist evolutionary theory."

Carpenter grunted loudly as his age curdled semen forced it's was past Alice's esophagus to ooze in slimy lumps down her windpipe.

"Will you, won't you, will you,
Won't you, won't you swallow down?
Will you, won't you, will you,
Won't you, won't you swallow down?"

Woody was singing disjointedly in a trance like state. Face tilted skywards his hands held Alice's head so deeply impaled she was losing consciousness from lack of breathe. The strange world surrounding her began to spin faster and faster and not surprisingly she soon fell into a deep dead faint.