All Wrong and Backasswards

She did not speak for the majority of the long ride back. Fredrick could tell something was wrong as she only spoke to answer questions of which exits to take, no matter how hard he tried.

The phone call came while they drove over a bridge, and back into his home state.

Fredrick only heard her end of the conversation. He was not listening, not really, and she only said "uh-huh," and "uh-uh," one time each. Shortly after the bridge and the call, they were using the ramp to get on the highway. There was a car in the merge lane, and it was causing a problem. Instead of moving over into the empty one of two lanes to allow Annabelle's car to merge, it continued in ignorance.

Fredrick was left with one of two choices: Come to a complete stop on a highway on-ramp with cars behind him, or press the gas enough to downshift the automatic and accelerate ahead of the ignorant driver.

He chose to accelerate.

It was the wrong choice.

"You never fucking listen to me! You fucked up my car and I told you not to!" Fredrick had actually done nothing wrong in his mind, he could have floored it, he could have broken the speed limit; he only did what she herself had done earlier in the day and would have done under the circumstances.

They were supposed to spend the night together, instead, she had him drop her off at her house, and drive his own car home; by himself and confused.

Two hours later, she called. "Can you come get me, then maybe we can hit a liquor store, maybe I could spend the night?"

Fredrick assumed the fight was over. He assumed she had calmed down. He had assumed she wanted to drink away her family problems. He assumed she just wanted someone to make her feel better.

Otherwise, she would have called some other boy.

He would not truly understand what was going on until she left in the snow, and the kid who thought he was her boyfriend started banging on his front door two hours later, screaming.

*** 3

"Get the fuck out here you son of a bitch! You fucking rapist!" Slick was mad and beating on the old door. His name was not really Slick; that was his last name: Slicky. Annabelle always made fun of him - her little puppy dog - it made Fredrick think she was sleeping with him.

The fact that Slick was at the door, and accusing Fredrick of being a rapist, only proved the notion.

Fredrick opened the door and stared down the shorter fellow with ease. The kid, only eighteen, was half his size. Fredrick knew he could mop any floor with Slick, he also knew the poor kid was being duped. "How else could she protect her position?" he thought, surprised he had not seen this coming.

"Come on in, Slick," Fredrick was waving him in, not at all intimidated.

"Fuck you, rapist. Get your fucking ass out here NOW." Slick was clenching his fists; Fredrick could see the fear in the kid's eyes; Slick was trying to be a man for a woman he loved, a woman that he had no idea about, or what she was capable of.

"Stop, Slick. Calm down and listen. She's cheating on you. You and me both are one of many. Do you think I kidnapped her and brought her here? Then let her go? Why didn't she call the cops?"

" 'Cause she's fucking scared of you! I picked her ass up and hour ago! She was freezing and crying! She said you tied her up and shit!"

"Well, that's true, but it was not all my idea..." It wasn't his idea in the first place. Annabelle had asked him only hours ago, he obliged as it seemed kinky. As soon as she said stop, he did. That's when things suddenly got weird.

"Lying fucking asshole!" Slick took a swing at Fredrick. It was a slow swing in Fredrick's opinion, easily dodged. Slick's fist hit the old, solid door; Fredrick heard Slick's hand crunch.

"Would you relax, Slick, and come in? Want some coffee?" All logic, reason, and morals said that the poor boy had been lied to. Slick's hand was also swelling and bleeding.

"No I fucking don't! She saw me last night and told me she was going to see you to tell you to leave her alone!"

"Oh, so that was you that called on the way home from her parents?"

"She said she went by herself! She couldn't talk 'cause she was driving!"

"...and she only said 'uh-huh' and 'uh-uh' right?" Fredrick was still totally relaxed while Slick had become totally stunned from both pain and words. "Why don't you come in, kid, and let's talk." Five years makes all the difference when you are under thirty.

"...she said you never went..." Slick looked as if he were going to cry.

*** 10

Annabelle always loved to sex with the lights on, (yup) undressing herself as she and Fredrick were lip locked at the foot of his king sized bed. The room was painted the same color as Annabelle's eyes; the closet accent wall, to her back, was the color of Annabelle's hair - burgundy.

She forcefully broke the kiss, pushing him to fall sitting onto the bed. Annabelle stood before him in a bra and panty set, similar to the one she was wearing in the picture with the bunny. Fredrick could see the moles and he knew it was her on the Internet. When she unclasped her bra, he was sure it was.

Annabelle's bare breasts were still as perfect as he remembered, better only because he gazed upon them once again. Her body had always been perfect, her choice words had always been 'pussy' and 'dick' during sex. She was a devil in bed; all taker, all fantasy.

"I want you to lick my pussy," it was one of her favorite things, and Fredrick's tongue was almost as good as a woman's.

"No." Fredrick looked stern despite the topless dream girl. "My house. My rules."

"..wha..." Annabelle was taken aback; he seemed so remorseful and understanding the entire night.

She was confused, dumfounded at his sudden stern attitude and strength. She wanted his tongue; she was imagining it with his member in her mouth earlier at the bar, wishing there were two or three Fredricks at once. Annabelle knew there was only one.

"No talking now, you are too naked for me to listen, just nod 'yes' or 'no' and you look beautiful by the way." Fredrick was about to lay it all out.

"Thanks, I mean..." Annabelle nodded 'yes' to him.

"Ok, so, the rules. You are going to the doctor, don't worry, it's on me. You are getting a full check-up, the works. You do that, and I will lick that pussy again, I swear it, ok?" Annabelle knew it was worth it, and she knew she was clean even though she had been around; she knew what his tongue was worth, and at least she would get his sneaky fingers and big dick. Fredrick was the only man she ever slept with unprotected, unless it was a shoot; she never told him.

Annabelle nodded 'yes' to him in return, she thought he could not see the action, as his attention was focused on her supple tits. At least his tongue would be on her nipples...

"If you sleep with anyone else, other than me, you use a condom? Got it?" Fredrick was losing it; she was playing with the waistband of her panties and rubbing herself down below. "I'm serious, you don't even have to let me know when, just use a condommmmm..... "

Annabelle had nodded 'yes' and then dove to lick his hard chest as she unbuttoned his pants; they would talk about it later as she was too horny to argue. Fredrick immediately palmed her both her rear and a perfect melon at the same time, as soon as they were in reach. More than all else, he was amazed she had agreed, Annabelle hated condoms, and had even yelled at him once for their use.

His sneaky fingers were on her clit and mastering it before she had his pants off.

*** 4

"When you figure out what you're running from, Belle, give me a call." He hung up the phone, ending the voicemail. He was leaning back against the wall and sitting on his queen sized bed. Slick had left a short while ago; Fredrick sat upon the bed, contemplating since. He outwardly monologue'd his thoughts, holding out a finger with each statement, as if counting by hand.

"Maximum of 6 guys... that I know of." "She's a liar, but she doesn't lie..." "That means her dad kicked her out..." "Then she's pissed about last night... but why?" "That means she has to lie to everybody... shit."

"Still worth it," he said lastly, seconds later, just as the phone rang in chorus. He looked at the caller I.D. It was Annabelle.

"Hey Belle," Fredrick did not receive a response, he continued, "...so, your little puppy dog, I mean Slick, I mean your boyfriend was just here. I think he broke his hand."

"Don't you get it?" As soon as Annabelle uttered her response, he knew they were on speaker phone.

"Get what? That you are a cheater, and you were using me only because I chose to believe your bull?"

"That you raped me, asshole." Annabelle sounded quite pissed, in fact, Fredrick had never heard her so angry.

"How do you figure? 'Cause we got drunk and fucked? What's wrong with getting drunk and having sex with your friend?"

"You fucked my ass. I fucking knew it as soon as I woke up. What, you thought I wouldn't know?"

"You asked me to..." She was pissed about something she had asked for, drunk or not. This phone call was just a show; Fredrick would dance the monkey. "...don't you remember?"

"I was passed out you sick fuck, and then you stripped me down and fucked my ass. Didn't you? Yes or no?!"

"That's not what happened... I loved you, I thought you-" Fredrick could not have been more confused, or more interrupted. This was all news to him, and one hell of a performance for the audience.

"Did you fuck my ass! Yes Or No?!!" Annabelle was screaming wrath.

Fredrick was definitely on speaker phone, he could tell. She had definitely gotten naked and begged him to eat her pussy. She had definitely been wide awake during the entire love session, the best and wildest of Fredrick's entire life. She had definitely passed out into seizures as they came together, screaming in unison. He was definitely buried in her ass when he came.

They had both been drunk, but he would never forget that night, he couldn't, not that, and surely not the look on her face. Fredrick was not a liar; he knew the truth, so did she.

His answer was only to the last question, not the previous two-parter. "Yes."

He heard "Oh my go-" and "Fuck you!" at the same time, followed by a click. He knew the voice; it was her 'best' friend Jenny; the one she hated and talked trash on every time Fredrick and Annabelle were together. They used to joke at how Jenny smelled like fish.

He sat alone, in the dark, on his bed, until he had to go to work on Monday. He called her cell at 7:00 AM. When she didn't answer, he left a message:

"I'm sorry, Belle, I don't really know what's going on... for sure anyway. Could you give me a call? I don't really want to fight. I just want to talk, I'm not mad at you. Ok, uh.. bye." Fredrick wanted the chance to tell her he definitely did not care.

His manic self crazed his mind for the next thirty days; she did not call back this time and he left only the one message. It was also the first time she did not return his call since they had met.

*** 6

"Man, I'ma sooo gonna fuck this chick. Man, I got game," Mike always thought he was such a player. Any woman worth sleeping with would easily see through his ploys. Fredrick mostly let him boast as the stood at the bar, in the corner.

Fredrick hated coming here. He did this for Mike. He hated the night before Thanksgiving. All the drinks were overpriced. All the people who he was glad not to see anymore generally seemed to appear on this night; most were hoping to get laid and wanting to talk bullshit about their perfect lives.

"Maybe it's not a game, Mike? Maybe you could treat them like, I don't know, people?" Fredrick hated the eyes he felt. Tens of pairs, he was candy for the voyeurs due to his height and features; his looks were the sole that's why Mike brought him.

The girls would come to Fredrick, he would brush them off most of the time, and Mike picked up the spoils.

"Man, Fred, you need to get into it!" Mike was dancing at the bar, "..just 'cause four bitches in a row all ended up using you.. Well that don't mean shit man. You just need some pussy." Mike was proud of himself; he had four numbers for later on and a DTF for that night - whenever he decided to leave.

"I don't need 'pussy' man," he was mocking Mike, "I need understanding and acceptance... They only used me because I let them..." Fredrick felt odd for no reason after he spoke; all but one pair of eyes were gone to his senses and he could feel the heat.

"What? Where is she?" Mike saw his friend react. Fredrick only did that face when the best of the best were around, and he was now searching the floor.

Fredrick was tall enough to see over most heads, and as he did, he also felt too old for the place at only twenty-nine. Everyone in the large space looked like they were dressed for a prom, or in label wear to impress a high school class; godawful fuzzy boots and hooded sweatshirts.

Everyone in the space except for her, and she was staring his way with that same old slight smile. He had not seen that smile since the morning before she left in the snow. It was plastered to her face while he stared.

"No, fucking, way." Fredrick almost felt like he would cry, maybe throw up. He sat on his barstool - more like plopped - as he felt his knees go weak and his head go light.

"What? What the fuck, Freddy? What's up?" Mike was worried when his friend fell into his stool, went pale, and then slammed his second of the night; a beer that had been three-quarters full and on the bar for two hours.

He had not seen her in passing for at least a year, and she was totally from his mind. He could not have been more surprised to see Annabelle.

"Fuck it. Now or never. See you later, Mike," Fredrick was going to talk to her, here, now. He didn't care if she was alone or not. He knew it would not matter.

"...I guess, man... later..." Mike decided that if his wingman was leaving, then he would go find his DTF.

*** 1

"Hey, Dave, slow day?" It obviously wasn't, Fredrick could tell as his friend ran around.

"Yeah, like turtles..." Dave was always sarcastic and self deprecating.

"I actually caught a snake today. A little guy. ya' know, since you want to talk about reptiles. It's in a can, in my car," Fredrick kicked a thumb to his odd old car, the thing that should be all rust and not running.

"That's cool..." Dave was stupid busy, and he didn't care about snakes; Dave was a married cat person.

Fredrick was casually following his friend, best friend, around the station as Dave worked, leaning on this and that while the other chored. The outside shift had just changed, the inside store shift was in the process. The friends were casually chatting when the beauty walked out of the store and to her car with the out-of-state tags, then back inside the building after grabbing a bag.

"woah... Dave man, who's that?" Fredrick could feel her vibe even at this distance; he knew the feeling, it was one of his favorite things.

"Oh?" Dave looked up to the closing door. "Oh." he hunched. "That's Anna, she just started last week." Dave never stopped moving and filling cars and he suddenly looked quite sullen.

"Huh.. like the song..." Fredrick was quiet for a second or ten. "...and you didn't tell me because??" Fredrick was still following Dave, and still in his grungy, filthy, work clothes; the 'sexy' work clothes as he called them, tattered and stained brand names.

He had stopped to chat on his way home from work, as he often did with his best friend, they had grown up together. At this point, Fredrick's eyes were only looking through the glass and into the store.

"Because she'll eat you alive, Freddy, and that's your type. Man she'll ruin you, don't do it.."

"Let me get back to you on that, I need a cup of coffee." Fredrick was already walking towards the door to convenience.

"Fuck." Dave new trouble when he saw it, and the minivan full of children learned a new word. Fate had Fredrick off early that day; fate had made Annabelle stay a few minutes later.

"Hey, Jennny. How are you?" Fredrick knew everyone that worked here on every shift except the morning. He made his way to the coffee counter as the 'mystery' Anna must have been in the back.

"Oh hey, Freddy. I'm good," soon to be Fishy Jen replied as she played with registers and machines at the counter, randomly writing things down onto a clipboard.

As busy as the outside was, the inside was empty, as if on purpose.

"So I see you have some new help-" Fredrick had finished preparing his beverage, and was turning to look Jenny's way. This 'Anna' of whom he had been speaking, was directly in front of him. Her vibe was insanely powerful up close. Fredrick could feel it's strength, but he knew what it was.

"Hi," Anna was holding out her hand, "you're name's Freddy?"

"Uh.. woah.. Hi, uh.. Yeah, Fredrick, and you are...?" Her looks, even in the cheap uniform, were getting to him; 'Effect' or not, she was still beyond attractive.

"Name's Anna, nice to meet you," she was still holding out her soft delicate fingers. He took them tenderly with his own rough, dirty, beat-up-from-work-and-looking-arthritic hand that was not holding his Styrofoam cup.

"Anna? Or Anne? Or, um.. Annabelle?" Anna looked intrigued at his guesses. She could not believe he was asking questions, that he was resisting her wiles for the sake of information.

"Yup, Annabelle." Her smile was what a smile should look like. Fredrick realized he was still holding her hand and let go quickly.

"No way, you're just saying that because I did. Prove it or I will think you are a liar." Fredrick looked almost amused. Annabelle thought he was funny, and handsome, and perfect for some friendly fun.

Annabelle spun around in place, her cropped hair swinging, and ran to the back. A moment later, she was holding her license out to him. "See for yourself, big guy."

"No shit... well, Belle, it's nice to meet you," Fredrick spoke as he handed her back her ID. Annabelle had frozen, though, and her eyes were shimmering. Out of nowhere, she shook her head and snatched away the small laminated document.

She was nineteen, and now he knew her birthday and last name.

"So what do you do, Freddy?" The shimmer was gone; the 'Effect' was back at full power.

"Well, lots of things... Today I was a snake wrangler, actually..."

"I loooove snakes! What kind is it?" Annabelle knew boys were liars, she knew boys were crude. She was setting him up for an age old ploy to test his might.

"Uh..." Fredrick's head tilted to the side, and he smiled Annabelle's expression. "It's a trouser snake." It was a good old joke, Fredrick knew it, and he thought she would just roll her eyes and they could continue.

"Oh yeah? What's a trouser snake? Can I see it?" Annabelle could have been an actress with how confused and honest she appeared to be. She knew, he knew she knew, she was hoping he would take the bait.

"Uh...? nevermind...? It's actually a little rat snake, he's kind of cute, but he's a bit mean. It's out front in my car if you want to take a look. Well, I think it's a he..."

"Ok, great!" Annabelle wanted to see his car, and she was in disbelief that he did not take her bait; he was the only boy who had not for the entire length time in which she had known what boys were and up until that point. Fredrick was different; he had hooked her, without intention, on his own line - without bait. Fredrick had effected (yup) Annabelle, and she was an sucker for new.

"Don't worry about it, Freddy," soon to be Fishy Jen said to him as he walked to the counter to pay.

"Oh, ok, thanks, Jenny. See you tomorrow," Annabelle followed him out the door to his car, parked feet away.

"This is your car?" Annabelle was stunned as he walked to the passenger's door, opened it, and pulled out a large coffee can.