An Average Descent

I enrolled in an executive MBA program. The university was pricey but local. In one shot I spent almost $120,000. I paid cash for a new luxury SUV, $60,000 out the window. I fully funded educational savings accounts for the kids. That took another $260,000. I spent thousands on a new wardrobe and I started taking larger and larger cash withdrawals twice a week. I would drive the kids to school, hit the bank and head to the lakeshore. I never really gambled the money I took with me. A few bucks here and there so that I was at least entertaining myself. I spent enough to show that I had spent the day in the casino, including receipts for lunch and snacks and parking. The bulk was going to the wall safe in our garage. My personal post divorce war chest in case things got ugly. My other expensive purchase? Full time private surveillance on my wife and her lover. I asked for the works, video, pictures, a daily diary of events. I am embarrassed to say how much that cost me.

You may be wondering if my wife noticed any of my spending habits. I would say yes, except for the 'gambling'. I had to tell her about my transfer of money to the kids because I needed her signature on the custodial accounts. She saw my car and clothes. She never said anything about them. I am sure she thought I was working and that we were still living on easy street. She made a few purchases too and I never said a word.

I often did wonder who was getting the benefit of her more frequent lingerie purchases. It just never was a topic we discussed. We were cordial to each other and interacted daily. It was like we were each tolerating a roommate that we didn't particularly like. Sex? Don't even go there.

The time with my children was the highlight of my existence. I did my best to support any of their interests. We worked through home work together and played games. We went to parks, took bike rides, and went to movies. Since I had assumed the role of house chef, they seemed to be interested in helping me. I found some easy recipes and let them do just that. Jennifer was usually around at some point in the week. I didn't exclude her from our family time, but I made no effort to include her. If she was around and wanted to participate, she just did without a word from me one way or the other.

I got a weekly report of my wife's activities. I thought that she was just banging her boss. But it was really a few guys from her office. A few months later the company's clients made their way to her dance card. Did it hurt? Not really. I already thought she was a whore. That I now had proof really didn't move me at all. It was not a very interesting read. The videos were like really poorly directed porn. In some ways it did make me feel better, but not much.

It was clear that Allen Henderson wasn't a very skilled lover, though he had the opportunity to spread his gifts among several different women. That kind of surprised me. I had assumed, based on her gift, that he and my whore were in some kind of relationship, but in reality they were more like fuck buddies. He simply rutted my wife with his slightly below average penis and she let him. It was the same with most of the other six men who fucked my wife. There was one client though, a small nerdy looking guy sporting the glasses and pocket protector to solidify his status as a geek, that really let Jennifer have it. His cock was massive and he wasted no time pounding her vagina before pulling out and shoving his dick in her mouth so she could swallow his load. The pictures and video were too grainy to tell if she enjoyed it, but to me it looked rather painful.

It did occur to me after about a year, that I hadn't had an erection or an orgasm since my journey had started. It didn't really bother me, it was just one more thing to pile on my shitty existence. I stopped the surveillance after a year. I had seen enough and it was really more of a chore to review the garbage that was sent my way.

Despite my classes, kids and 'gambling' I had a lot of free time. So I decided to concentrate on my life after marriage which I assumed would be coming at some point. I started a new exercise regime. I had always been in decent shape, nothing to write home about of course. Over that time I did make some decent gains on my bench press and running stamina. I think that huge muscles and good looks are mostly genetic and I clearly did not fit into either category. However, personally I was really pleased with the way I looked.

I started researching the latest news on my former industry. I figured I would need a job at some point. A year away from the madness had left me farther behind than I thought. I spent a few hours each day learning about the latest technologies and software packages. I took a particular interest in my old company CTS. It appeared they were stagnant. They were definitely not losing market share and revenues were stable, but they weren't gaining ground. In the technology business if you are standing still you are losing.

I also spent a considerable amount of time researching divorces. Oh I did indulge some time to devising new and evil plans for screwing with my hopefully soon to be ex-wife. However, the majority of my time was spent learning how divorce affected children. I had already worked through most of my pain and the children had been a big part of that. I wanted to make sure that when their transition came that I was fully prepared. There is a lot of information out there a lot of which I thought was bullshit.

I was another eight months in to my adventure, when I started to panic. My wife started coming home at a regular time. And she started talking to me and asking about my day. I answered curtly of course, but she seemed undeterred. She started dressing more provocatively for bed. It seemed like she was trying to rekindle the intimacy of our former life. After a few weeks it went from bad to worse. For a year and a half she had been uninvolved and going through the motions. Now she was bitching about our lack of communication. She started talking about working on our marriage. So I stopped talking to her. Complete silence.

Her reconciliation attempts lasted until her birthday. I left her present on the dining room table. The wrapping paper should have looked familiar since I recycled it from the last gift she had given me. The contents shouldn't have been a surprise either. It took me six months to open the last birthday present I would get from my wife. It was a watch, complete with a cheap digital face. When I noticed my birthday present in the impulse buy aisle of our neighborhood 24-hour convenience store, I had been pretty angry. A $9.95 watch, from the quickie mart. Fucking bitch. When I saw they had a matching ladies model. I got over it. I bought it and waited 18 months to give it to her.

I almost wish I could have seen her reaction, but alas I wasn't there when she opened it. The kids and I had an emergency movie night and were pretty late getting home. She was gone before the kids and I were up the next day. Suddenly everything went back to my new normal. Jennifer started staying later and later at the office. We barely spoke when she was at home. Then it finally came.

"Michael, I want a divorce."

****

I was hoping that she would get it over with quickly but it was almost a week later before I was served with her petition. It was almost laughable. Spousal and child support, unequal distribution of assets in her favor, mental and emotional cruelty listed as the relevant factors. I waited until the next Monday before taking the kids camping. I didn't want them to be around when I unleashed the hounds. We returned six days later, relaxed and refreshed.

Jennifer was waiting for us at home. She was sitting alone in the living room. I think she may have had the stomach flu. In any case she didn't look good. I was wondering which part came as the biggest surprise.

I had counter filed for divorce based on adultery. Asking for the house, the only real asset we had left and full custody of the children. I asked for spousal and child support because I was unemployed and had been taking care of the children full time for two years. I had filed alienation of affection lawsuits against Jennifer's seven sexual partners. I had no illusion that I would win any of them, but Illinois law allowed it so I was coming back guns blazing. I filed civil lawsuits against her employer and the companies of the three clients who had enjoyed my wife's hooker status. Again, I didn't think that I could win, but the bad publicity might work in my favor. Finally, I sent a DVD of Jennifer's greatest hits to her parents and her best friend so she would know I wouldn't be afraid to use it. She should have been aware of the evidence I had against her. It had all been named in my counter suit, but I didn't want to take any chances.

The kids grabbed a snack and went to their rooms to get ready for bed. They didn't really acknowledge their mother. She made no move to address them. I went to the fridge to grab a beer. Then I made my way to living room and plopped down on the chair opposite Jennifer.

She didn't look at me for a long time. So I just enjoyed my beer. In addition to being sick, she appeared to be crying about something. Maybe she was injured? Eventually she spoke, but it was almost a whisper.

You'll ruin me."

I waited for her to look up so that I could watch her eyes when I responded. It took a few seconds.

"God, I hope so."

I thought the moment would be more fulfilling. When the single tear formed in her eye and then fell down her cheek, I didn't feel anything.

"Do you hate me that much?"

"Oh, no Jennifer. I don't hate you. Hate requires effort. I can honestly say that I put forth absolutely no effort when it comes to you. All of my effort goes to taking care of me and my children."

"But I am your wif..."

"STOP! I will not have a piece of shit like you defame my wife's good name. My wife was a loving and caring woman, my best friend and partner and the mother of my children. She is dead. You are the whore that took over her body. Don't speak as if you have any relationship to me."

It was a long time before she spoke again.

"What am I going to do now?"

"Is that a rhetorical question or do you really want my answer?"

I didn't let her respond before I continued.

I suppose there are several possible solutions to your predicament. You could move far away and try and start a new life. That's the one I would choose. I am never going to let my children spend any meaningful time with you, so that shouldn't have any impact on your decision to leave. Or I suppose you could try and stick it out here. Hang around town trying to keep your head up. But who knows who will hear about your little exploits or who would want to hire a fucking slut like you. You may be able to latch on to some loser of a man who doesn't care that you're a whore. But what kind of a lowlife scumbag would that be? Or you could kill yourself. I really hope you don't pick that option. That would rob me of watching you suffer like the bitch you are. But then again, I am not sure my opinion really matters to a cunt like you. It sure didn't when you decided to start fucking your boss."

I had been dreaming of giving that little speech for months. I should have been happy about the opportunity to give it. As I watched word after word crush whatever was left of her spirit I had hoped I would get some satisfaction. Instead I just felt empty.

***

Life after divorce was a mixed bag. I did much better with my lawsuits than I had ever hoped. I netted just over a million dollars in settlements from the three companies who had employees that had slept with my wife. It was surprising because my attorney told me not to expect much. During the post game analysis, we decided that after seeing how he handled my ex-wife's company, they didn't want any part of the negative publicity.

We had destroyed my ex-wife's company with discovery motions, depositions, and leaked information to the press. I had also started my own stealth campaign, emailing the CEO's of their remaining clients with information about my wife, her boss and their fuck buddies, 'Do you really want to be in bed with this company when the shit hits the fan?'.

It took time, but ever so slowly, their revenues dried up. Employees who didn't want to be associated with the scandal quit. In the end they filed for bankruptcy. Allen Henderson was fired and left town in disgrace. The $200,000 check I received was smaller than my other victories, but much more satisfying.

I didn't get anything from my alienation of affection lawsuits. I never thought I would. Four wives did take their husbands to the cleaners in subsequent divorces though.

It wasn't all Champaign and roses. I also hurt myself in the process. It was not uncommon for me to run into someone familiar with my situation. The taunting and teasing was out of control for awhile. I don't know if it was fortunate or unfortunate that I didn't really care. I already felt like a loser, so someone putting it into words didn't really affect me. Some of the bastards were actually pretty clever.

I was able to shield my children from most of the collateral damage. That had always been my primary concern. They were sad for awhile, but bounced back soon enough.

My biggest victory was my return to CTS as vice president of design and development. One of my distractions from my personal turmoil was a return to programming. In my two darkened years I was able to design an add-on to the primary CTS software that made it easy to integrate with two other popular software packages from their competitors. I started my own company and started selling my design. Less than a year later, I had offers from all three companies to buy my company and my software. I received 11 million for my company and an unbelievable compensation package from CTS. For awhile I considered retirement, but with my complete lack of social life, I was sure I was heading for life as a recluse if I didn't give myself an excuse to leave the house every day.

My new income allowed me to hire a sweet little old lady who served as both part-time housekeeper and nanny for the kids. After a year, Mrs. Marlene Jensen moved in with us full time, staying in the in-law suite above the garage of our new home. She was like a grandmother to my children, mostly sweet and kind but stern when she had to be. It was the advice she was able to offer the children, the kind that only comes from the wisdom of experience, which I appreciated most. I loved my children and I did my best to be a supportive and caring father. But I was also damaged and jaded and hard. I, too, turned to her for advice. She was my sounding board when it was decision time. The children grew into well adjusted adults, and I saw them and their families from time to time. Unfortunately, as time went on our closeness faded. I did not hold it against them in any way. It was best that I be kept at a distance so my bitterness wouldn't infect their lives.

Mrs. Jensen worked for me until the kids left for college. Then she retired. I offered her free room and board as a pension. She had been a constant in my life for 15 years. She tried her best to get me to live again and find someone to share my life with. I appreciated her efforts but in the end she died knowing that I would always be alone.

I never really opened up to anyone ever again. My friendships were shallow and unfulfilling. I never really dated with the exception of a few group meals set up by casual friends. I developed a deserved reputation as an ice hearted, ruthless bastard, who was not to be crossed. For the most part I was avoided and I didn't blame anyone but me.

My sexual releases were managed well enough. My ever increasing wealth allowed me to maintain a steady rotation of call girls and escorts. I paid generously for their time and use of their bodies. I basically just fucked them and showed them the door. There was one I was quite fond of for awhile. Her name was Candy. I later found out it was really Marybeth. She was a passionate and willing partner. I think I was more than a client to her, too. But I could never burden someone else with my demons, so when I felt her becoming too attached to me, I cut her loose.

If you are wondering what happened to Jennifer, well, she had a hard life. She tried for almost a year to talk to me. I am not sure why she tried. Did she think we could reconcile or was she hoping for a relationship with my children? Maybe. I had given her fair warning, but she didn't listen.

She tried to stay in Chicago, so I started having her followed. When she applied for a position, I made sure her work history was always there to greet her. When she started dating, which appeared to be almost immediately, I sent care packages to her potential mates letting them know all about the woman they were letting into their lives. I didn't really care if they wanted to keep her around after they knew the truth, but I didn't want her to be able to reshape history by ignoring it. I had to live with it every day, so it was only fair that she did too.

As I said, my ex-wife kept up a steady campaign of unanswered phone calls, letters which I never read or responded to, and always kept my email inbox full. I think some sick part of me wanted some measure of her suffering. I suppose early on some type of professional help would have been appropriate. It may have saved some part of my soul and allowed me to gain back some sense of normalcy. But in the end, I never went, and as time passed it seemed too late to do any good. I could have changed my phone number, but I didn't. An assistant could have sorted my mail, but I always did it myself. I could have blocked her incoming emails. It would have prevented me from opening one of them accidently.

It was a stream of so sorry and it didn't mean anything. Of course it was a situation that got out of control. She had always loved me. Hadn't she suffered enough? I responded with a gift and a simple note. I purchased the smuttiest piece of lingerie I could find from her favorite store and had it wrapped carefully in the pure white ribbon that really brought out the pink of the box. I attached a beautifully hand written note. I am sure she appreciated the symmetry as she opened the card addressed to 'BITCH'. I hope she was able to understand my meaning when she found the massive butt plug and bottle of lube in amongst her new whore uniform. I thought the 'GO FUCK YOURSELF!' was a pretty clear instruction.

One of her potential beaus tried to take me to task for tormenting my ex-wife. He showed up on my doorstep full of liquid courage, shoving me back and off my feet as I opened my front door. It was his mistake. As I have said, I am nothing special. I had no history of martial arts or Special Forces training. I was just an average guy. I had never been a violent man. Hell, I had never even been in a fight. But what I did have was rage, an undiluted, unspent pool of pure hatred for my wife and her lovers. He was the unfortunate recipient of my release. I ended up with a nice shiner and a cracked rib. He was lucky to be alive. He pled guilty to misdemeanor assault and unlawful entry and received probation as a first time offender. I think the years of reconstructive surgery and rehabilitation left more of an impression on him.

Jennifer never tried to contact me again. I stopped having her followed after another year when she found steady employment cleaning rooms at a highway hotel in a town about 700 miles from me in the backwoods of Virginia. The only other time I saw her was 16 years later at my daughter's wedding. I know the children reconnected with Jennifer several years after they graduated from college. I made no attempts to prevent them from finding her.