An Innocent's Epiphany Ch. 01

Today I had a revelation shown to me and I have decided to keep this diary of my progress as a sexually developed adult, finally discovering the secrets that have been hidden and forbidden from me by my controlling family and teachers.

This week I moved into my new rooms at the University of Hampshire on England's South Coast. I have spent most of my childhood at a variety of strict Girls Schools around the country, shuffled from one to the next as it suited the preferences of my parents.

It has become apparent to me that there is a world of pleasure out there that everyone seemed to be keeping from me, I don't know if they did it through prudery or for religious reasons but I believe now I have entered this forbidden garden.

Today's revelation took place after I had lent my shiny new apple laptop to the guys in the room across the corridor in my halls of residence, their computer was apparently not working on the network yet, and they needed to use it to register for some of the extra activity days on their course. So anyway they borrowed the laptop while I was at the gym, and then a couple of hours later returned it, apparently as new.

When I got it back, I opened up chrome to check out some details of the new societies that I had signed up for, and accidently re-opened the last tab rather than opening a new one. I was suddenly confronted with a film of a girl, a really pretty girl, completely nude and lying on her bed, touching herself between her legs, her fingers rubbing herself. Her eyes were closed, but you could see from her face that she was greatly enjoying it, as if sampling her very favourite food.

Of course my immediate reaction was to close the window forthwith; at school we had been warned in the boarding houses of the dangers of touching ourselves, so much so that I was almost fearful of too much contact with my pubic area even when washing.

As for watching such films on a computer, our school had only ever allowed a very small number of web sites to be accessible to us, a few news sites, some factual encyclopaedia sites, that sort of thing. Obviously we had gone looking for information on sex and most specifically boys, but the filters they used and the threat of punishment for viewing immoral or inappropriate content kept the available knowledge to a minimum.

I was curious therefore when I saw this nude girl, curious to know what she was doing, rubbing herself. What pleasure she was experiencing I asked myself. After a few minutes, and after I had locked the door to my room, I returned to the site and watched the film from the beginning.

She started out undressing slowly and playing with her breasts, her nipples hardening as she toyed with them. Next she took off her knickers, and I had to force myself to watch as she looked into the camera and opened her legs. I had never seen a girl open her legs like that and could hardly believe that anyone would be bold and un-shy enough to expose herself to strangers. There must have been a camera crew there filming, how could she do that, letting them see her most intimate parts. She could only have been 19 or so, like me, where were her parents I asked myself.

I had to look around my room to make sure that no one could see what I was watching, still amazed that I was seeing these images that only a few weeks ago could have led to my being expelled in disgrace. It was then that I realised that as I was watching her, my own body was starting to react in a new way that it had not done before. Under my dress, I felt my own nipples changing, the areola crinkling up, my nipples pushing out into my bra, poking out through my dress.

Additionally, I felt this new tingling down between my legs. I stopped the film and closed the lap-top, I was disturbed and confused by these unexpected changes in my body. I sat quietly in silence for a few minutes by myself, wondering what to do. On one hand I felt dirty for watching it, for defying all the rules that I had had beaten into me about why sex was bad. But on the other hand I could see the look on the girls face was of genuine pleasure, and now even my own body was reacting. How could it be wrong, if it felt good?

I put my hand down to my nipple, running my finger over it lightly through the thin fabric of my dress, I could feel it so much more than normal, it felt much more tender, more sensitive and pleasant to touch. I hesitated, looking around again as if someone could have entered the room in the time I had been thinking, then stood up, reached behind me and slowly slid the zip down my back.

Once again I stopped, unsure that I was really going to do this. I thought back to the look of intense joy on her face, how come she could do this and I couldn't? I shrugged my shoulders forward and let my dress slowly descend to the floor; I felt the light breeze as it passed my knees and piled into a messy circle of cotton at my feet. I looked down at my body; so long I had taken it for granted, not really considering how it might be a source of pleasure or gratification.

I was in pretty good shape, I kept fit in the gym and swam regularly, my breasts weren't big but generously filled the B cups of my plain white bra. My general physique though was in very good shape, I had a flat stomach and nicely toned and fit limbs.

I returned my fingers to my breasts, my hard nipples were even more obviously prominent now, making half inch high cones through the thin fabric, the dark pink circle clearly visible too. I decided to seize the moment and returned my hands behind my back to unclip my bra. My fingers caught my long tress of dark brown hair that I wore in a thick lustrous ponytail, until they found the clips of my bra and swiftly unfastened them. The thin white garment floated down to the floor to join my dress in an ever messier heap. I fought my natural inclination to tidy them all up and sat down on the bed.

I returned my fingers to my breasts and started to play with the nipples more forcefully, intrigued at how nice and interesting the sensations were, becoming ever more aware that I was feeling a little hot, I noticed my chest becoming flushed. By now my nipples felt as hard as rocks, and as I rubbed and squeezed them I felt an ever growing glow of pleasure coursing through my chest. I licked my fingers and ran my moistened hand round and round, tweaking and enjoying the wicked forbidden joy.

After a few minutes of this, I thought back to the film that I had seen and how the girl there had quickly moved on from her breasts to between her legs. I felt even less comfortable with this, almost as though I could hear the head of our boarding house warning me of the dangers of the flesh, and the importance of avoiding disgusting physical habits. Still, my arousal from playing with my breasts was driving me forward and I could now feel an ever more urgent tingle from between my legs, driving my hand down.

My knickers were just plain white cotton, exactly the same as every other set of knickers that I had ever worn. I slipped my fingers into the elastic either side of my hips and slid them down my legs, dropping them onto the wooden floor next to my bed. I had a real feeling of disobedience now, our teachers had been very clear on the subject of not touching ourselves anywhere near between our legs, where it was very dirty, and only ever to clean ourselves. I ran my hand down over my pubis, running my fingers through the soft short brown hairs that covered me there. I had kept them trimmed for a few years now, since I had been in the swimming team, as I hated the idea of anyone knowing that I had grown pubic hair.

I thought back to what I had seen the girl doing on the film, she had opened her legs wide apart so that the viewers could see right inside the lips of her vulva. I steeled myself and then did the same thing, for the first time really looking down at what laid between my legs. I was shocked to see that the whole area was glistening, almost wet. I couldn't believe that I had wet myself, I was sure I had not, and yet when I put my fingers down to the soft pink folds that I had exposed by opening my legs, I could feel a slightly sticky and gooey liquid. There was a different smell from normal as well, a symptom I suspected of the new creamy residue.

It all felt good to touch there though, not bad or dirty at all, I ran a single finger down from the top of the slit right down to the even softer area that I remembered from one of the text books was supposed be another entrance to my body. I had always been mystified by the descriptions that the teachers gave of reproduction, never sure about vaginas and such like, generally confused about where the hell any baby was supposed to come out from.

Now I started genuinely exploring the different areas that I had exposed, the lips of my vulva were sensitive and pleasing to touch, as was the increasingly wet and gooey area below which I knew hid my opening, but the best part I quickly realised was the little point just near the top, surrounded by its own little more inner lips, the same area that the girl from the film had been touching.

This part felt particularly sensitive and I started circling my finger round and round the little cone. The whole area became more and more sensitive, the pleasure more and more intense. After a few minutes of gentle caressing, I found myself pushing my fingers downwards harder and harder, rubbing the now whole area quite roughly.

I could feel my arousal becoming more and more intense, I looked down and my breasts were much firmer now, the nipples hard as wood. My chest was pink, although not as pink as the lips of my vulva that were swollen and glistening with the mysterious new lubricant.

I kept on rubbing myself, luxuriating in the new found pleasure, fully able to understand exactly why the girl on the film had had that look of quiet smug satisfaction. Then suddenly I felt the arrival of a really strong new sensation, deep in my legs and my vagina, a feeling of absolute pure pleasure came from nowhere, engulfing me completely. Quickly, it seemed centered on the little pink cone between the lips of my pussy.

I could not control myself for a few seconds and I screamed out in joy, panting. My right hand continued to massage my pussy as my left gripped the nipple of my right breast. The pleasure coursed through me and I was shocked at the extreme violence of the sensation.

Eventually the pleasure subsided and I collapsed back onto the bed, amazed and confused that my body could have generated such feelings. My hand remained down over my pussy, but for the moment it felt too sensitive to continue.

I was really bemused though and I felt betrayed that I had been lied to all my life. Why had I been told so many times that to touch yourself down there was bad and dirty when it was so obviously not, in fact that it could trigger the most amazing sensation that I had ever felt.

After a few minutes of quiet reflection, I gently returned my hand to my pussy and started to repeat the gentle caressing. First just around the lips, then slowly circling in on the most sensitive area, until once again I was rubbing myself vigorously with three fingers, my hand was now soaked with perspiration and the juices of my pussy. As I pressed harder I found myself panting and grunting, like a caged animal trying to pull free from its bonds.

My exertions were rewarded with another explosion of pleasure, perhaps not as extreme as the first, but still easily enough to cause a second burst of screaming out loud. I immediately worried that I might have been heard by my neighbours, but disregarded the concern in the joy of the moment.

Eventually I relaxed and fell back onto the bed. I was shocked that in one afternoon I had discovered a completely new world of sensation, hidden in my body. I was also hugely disappointed that the people that I had always trusted to provide me with moral and spiritual guidance had misrepresented such a fundamental thing as my own body's physical state and potential.

I thought back over all the other things they had told me and started to question all of them as well. Presumably they had been lying about men and my physical relationship with them as well. Perhaps the world contained much more interesting possibilities than I had been led to believe. Perhaps, I thought, it was time to start investigating them.

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