An Unwanted Miracle

Roger sat there in shock, listening at the receiver in his hand but not hearing anything, desperately searching for an excuse, yet none surfaced. It had been a conscious decision; he had known about the possible consequences and had taken the required precautions why had this happened? How had this happened?

He hung up on Veronica and relaxed on his bed, allowing himself to dose briefly, fighting to overcome the weariness that had suddenly overcome him. Finally he drifted off into a deep sleep, but even then he was denied the peace and tranquility he craved as the deepest recesses of his mind constantly reminded him of his predicament, transforming his peaceful slumber into a horrific nightmare which blended seamlessly with the reality.

Meanwhile Veronica clutched the phone to her chest willing herself to believe that everything would be ok, that the signs were wrong and waiting for her darling to phone her back, she knew he would!

She had needed to hear a kind, reassuring word reminding her that everything was going to be all right. However it was not to be, throughout the call he had not said a word, but the silence had told its own story.

With a heavy heart she replaced the phone stood up and left the room, the house ominously silent as she padded down the carpeted stairs barefoot. Each step occupied an eternity in her mind as she struggled to come to grips with the news, trembling at the thought of her parents' reaction.

She gently opened the door to the family room and stood proud and tall in the centre, her tear-streaked face bold, not portraying the fear, a cold throbbing ache in the pit of her stomach. She cleared her throat, looked around and began to recount a story of love and betrayal.

Her parents' faces were emotionless; not a grimace escaped their placid features. An awkward silence followed Veronica's heart-wrenching confession and all the while her father's gaze had been penetrating deep into her soul. The grandfather clock ticked away in the corner, but to Veronica each second felt like an eternity, each tick a gunshot piercing her heart as she stood, terrified before the jury, awaiting their verdict.

The ice soon broke, her mother who had worked so hard to suppress her emotions burst into tears. Her sobs punctuated the thin air spurring her husband into action, whereupon he manhandled her up to her room, abandoning her onto the floor and left, slamming the door to his heart shut. Incensed at this overwhelming violation of his authority he descended the stairs, his face ashen as the dam began to break down and his emotions began to flood his body leaving him shaking uncontrollably.

Veronica lay on the floor where she had fallen, unmoving. It started slowly, but within seconds her entire body was racked with sobs. The raw emotion she had seen unleashed in her parents had unnerved her and she lay on the floor pitifully alone.

Betrayed by all those who had professed their love, she lay there lamenting her naivety, her trust and her stupidity. She lay alone, abandoned, deserted on the cold coarse carpeting of her floor with no one to hear her plea for help.

Roger stood slowly, dreams of collage a high powered career, a normal adolescence fading away to dust, tears clouding his eyes he moved to his desk withdrew a pad of paper and his pen and wrote! He wrote to ease his soul and voice his anxieties, his regrets, he wrote the essay of one who is desperately in need of help but has none save himself to find the enlightened path:

'No way to escape, no guiding light. Alone and desperate I ransack my mind for loopholes, excuses or another painless solution to my problems, but I cannot come up with one valid for such a predicament.

I cannot draw breath; every step I take sends a jolt of pain outwards from my heart racking my extremities with the very anguish that my darling must be going through. Every conscious thought a lament to what could have been, followed by the inevitable question," what if?" My every thought sears the very foundation of my being with the knowledge of the irresponsibility, the selfishness with which I dabbled with my angel's heart and now that the reality has set in, I can feel myself being crushed under the added weight of new responsibilities both real and imagined.

In a country such as this the prejudice, the religious and hypocritical bias against such an unspeakable situation of an unmarried teen mother will subject my darling to prejudice beyond belief and I will forever have myself to blame.

If I could turn back the hands of time to reverse such foolish exploits I would gladly sell my soul to that end, but it is all to no avail for the selfless act now would not erase the selfishness, the pettiness of spirit, which fills me with self-loathing. I cannot bear my reflection and I would gladly die right now if it were the best thing to do for "my family", however such is not the case and I am sentenced instead to a life of regret knowing that I have deprived my angel of so much! She had a brain, looks, and a strength of being, a purpose in life, which made me proud to be called her friend.

Emotion overcomes me, remorse for my lack of foresight, hatred for my selfishness, disgust for the cockiness which made me believe myself worthy of such absolute trust, unblemished love, purity of purpose and innocent emotion. What gave me the right to deflower her of her innocence?'