Anchored To His Heart Ch. 04

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Military wife deals with shattered dreams and a broken heart.
5.5k words
2.95
11.5k
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Part 4 of the 4 part series

Updated 09/22/2022
Created 05/22/2010
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**Quick note: This story is based on a dream! While constructive criticism is welcome, and comments are greatly welcomed, verbal attacks aren't needed and will be deleted. Happy reading.**

I stood at the window looking outside, the sun barely peeking over the horizon. I knew in my heart that today would be another lonely day. My husband was deployed to Iraq, and the house was overwhelmingly quiet.

I had printed off my husbands latest email and was re-reading it again, focusing in on his last closing line of "I've been confused for a while, and I'm sorry if I've hurt you, but I'm not sure if I love you, or women for that matter. Just give me some room to think." One minute I was crying, the next minute I was furious and angry.

"It doesn't make any sense!" I thought. I let out a mournful sigh as I crumpled up the letter and hurled it against the wall. I wasn't in the mood to deal with the possibilities of what he was saying in the letter.

My name is Sarah, I lead the typical life of a military wife, if there is anything typical about it! It seemed like clockwork that my husband and I moved around. It was hard leaving behind friends, packing up, moving to a new base, and wondering just how long it would take to find friends again. When I wasn't moving, it seemed my husband was on a TDY -temporary duty- assignment, or in this case deployed.

Ever since my husband deployed, I had been battling insomnia. I blamed it on the time zone difference. My afternoon was his evening, his evening was my morning, my morning was his afternoon. It got crazy trying to adjust to his time zone, while staying in my time zone!

The times that I could sleep were mainly filled with dreams of an erotic sense, though there were also the dreams that were filled with terror that often woke me up in a panic. I thought of how one minute my husband was by my side, and the next minute he was on a plane that would take him half way around the world.

Today was just as lonely as the previous days. I couldn't help but reflect back on that day when my husband came home and said "I leave tomorrow." Unsure of how to respond, I simply stood there stunned.

It had been a little over three months since my husband had left, and I could barely stand the torment of being sexually deprived! I knew all too well that military couples were held to a higher standard than their civilian counterparts in the realm of marital fidelity. I couldn't quite understand the hypocrisy. It seemed as though most civilians thought that military spouses came with a 'flip switch' that would automatically shut off our sexuality.

Admittedly my sexual drive runs stronger than that of my husband, a rarity for sure! There was never a day where I didn't want my husband to just have intense, passionate sex with me, but that would never happen. The times when we would have sex, were good but infrequent and short. Sex left him exhausted and sleepy while it left me desiring and craving more!

That day, as was custom, I checked out my normal social networking sites, followed by checking my email. I came across an email from a friend who knew I loved to read.

"You should check out Literotica." the email read.

Out of sheer boredom I decided to check it out, and found myself quickly drawn into reading the many stories, I quickly grew bored and saw the chat room feature, and thought "Well I love to talk, it's just fantasy coupled by a touch of reality so why not!"

I quickly discovered it wasn't so easy to get into the chat room. It seemed to be buggy, but finally I got inside the chat room and soon realized it was a mix of activity, the content varied, and it seemed like every so often people were being booted or banned for the silliest of infractions. I couldn't help but think that for an erotic chat room it seemed puritanical at best!

In a matter of seconds I was immersed in the world of chatting. After trying to keep pace with the rapidly flying personal messages, and whispers, someone by the username "FFGSailor" requested a chat, to which I obliged.

The chat started out quite simple:

"Hey baby girl, how are you?" came the typed question.

"Baby girl huh? Oh and I suppose you're now my daddy?" I quickly typed.

"Well if you want me to be your daddy, sure...just kidding! You sound upset. Care to talk about it, baby girl?" he replied.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to sound snippy with you. I'm hurt, I'm angry, I'm just so...lost! I got an email from my husband and he seems to be struggling with his sexuality. I don't understand it! I've tried doing everything I know to do, and I seem to be fighting against a brick wall! I almost think he's betrayed me! I don't know what to do anymore!" I replied as I felt more tears begin to build up.

"Wow! That's got to be heavy! I'm sorry! Sometimes men can just be asses." came his reply.

I smirked and typed my reply of "Yeah, in my husband's case he's a dumb ass! He's always been 'off' sexually. When we were first married, he would go a month, sometimes longer, without having sex with me! I use to think it was my fault, and I would often cry myself to sleep when he would turn me away, but now I'm thinking that perhaps it's always been this way and I was just to naïve to recognize it."

"Damn! I'm sorry baby, it shouldn't have been that way for you! You sound as though you've got quite the sexual appetite!" not waiting for a reply he continued typing, "What do you look like? I'm 5'7" I have brown hair and hazel eyes, and I'm 40."

Even though I was in a bit of a bad mood, I couldn't help but giggle as I realized I was taller than this person I was chatting with.

I quickly typed in "I'm 5' 10" and I have blonde hair that is just below my shoulders, which I often wear curled. My eyes are often an intense shade of blue reflecting a mischievous happy mood, unless I'm pissed off then they look green, or if I'm sad they turn a bright aqua."

"Wow that's intense! You sound lovely! I'm guessing your eyes are green right now huh?" he responded.

I went quiet momentarily, as I debated on offering to send him a link to my picture.

Finally I decided to offer to share my picture and typed "Yes, my eyes are green right now...Would you rather see a picture, so you're not over imagining what I look like?"

"Sure would!" he replied, and then he quickly typed in "Just got it! What did you mean by 'over imagining'? You're cute and your eyes are very blue in this picture! I love your smile! Your husband is a fool for not knowing what he's got!"

I softly smiled as I read his reply. I wasn't so naïve to assume that every person would share a favorable opinion of me, but frankly it wouldn't have mattered if the comment would have been less than flattering. I know who I am, and I don't need the validation of anyone else, besides it's not like I was ever going to meet anyone from online.

"Well I appreciate that you think so!" I quickly typed.

It seemed that the questions ranged all over the place from taste in music, to where we were from, to our marital status and then finally he asked the question

"Have you ever cheated on your husband?"

Never one to be evasive with the truth I replied, "Well no, of course not! Admittedly there is a guy that I've grown to be close friends with, we've never met, but we do talk to each other on the phone and text each other. I know if he lived locally that it would be a struggle to say no to him, especially with my husband's current confusion!"

I was thinking of my guy friend Glenn, and suddenly I saw the question "Would you ever want to meet up with him if you could?"

I hurriedly typed "Well after this email from my husband, I would have to say yes I do, with all my heart!"

"I bet you're thinking of him right now, aren't you?" he typed.

I paused for a moment before I replied "Yes, I am. It's a more pleasant subject, and while I don't mean to be rude towards you, it's just hard for me not to think of him. In the short time I've known him, I've grown to care deeply for him."

I was momentarily distracted by the vibrating of my cell phone, picking it up I read the latest message from my friend Glenn "Morning Sarah, how are you?"

I felt a soft tingle rush through my body as I replied "Mmm well I'm naturally wonderful because I'm thinking of you!" We exchanged a few more text messages before I finally realized that I had left the chat go quiet.

I sent a quick message "Sorry about the delay, I got a text message and replied to it."

"Oh it's okay, you were gone a while, was it your guy friend?" came the quick reply. I couldn't believe this guy, he sure was bold with the questions he asked!

"Yes it was." I quickly typed.

"Would you ever want to meet me, if I lived nearby?" he asked. I sat thinking to myself as I debated on how to reply to him. I didn't want to be rude, but I also thought he was being too intrusive, especially considering that we didn't know each other.

"Well if you were this other guy, of course I wouldn't mind meeting you. Look I hate to cut this chat short, but I'm getting ready to go to the beach. Perhaps we can chat more at a later time." I replied and not waiting for his reply I closed the chat session.

I quickly logged off the computer and went to my bedroom. I grabbed a beach bag, and packed my bathing suit, some sun screen, a huge beach towel, and a book that I planned on reading as I sunbathed. I knew that it would be warm out, so I slipped on a short turquoise sleeveless dress, a pair of sandals, and clipped my hair up into a messy top knot before I headed outside.

As I pulled into the parking area, I noticed only two other vehicles. I got out of my vehicle, locked it, and proceeded to walk out onto the beach to look for a place to lay out. I looked around and noticed it was deserted. "I wonder where the people are that have their vehicles parked." I thought.

I turned to head to the changing rooms and before I even got to the changing rooms, I looked over to a secluded picnic area and suddenly my question was answered as I heard muffled moaning.

I couldn't help myself and I quietly walked closer to the picnic pavilion. I stopped a mere ten feet away, secluded in the shadows. I knew I would end up intensely aroused, especially because of how long it had been since I had last had sex. Despite knowing this I lingered a while, overwhelmed with a desire of my own, and I stood watching this intimate moment between another couple.

I stood there fixated and softly inhaled as I watched the two lovers. I couldn't help but notice how dainty the woman looked, almost pixie-like. I noticed her honey colored hair seemed to float in soft waves over her shoulders, her eyes were the color of warm chocolate and her skin glowed with a sheen. She wasn't curvy but certainly was attractive in her own way, I imagined she couldn't have been much taller than 5'2".

As I continued watching, I saw how her partner contrasted in comparison. While she was petite and tiny, the man was a hulking mass of masculinity, he was her complete opposite in every sense. I let my eyes wander over his body, taking in his dark blonde hair, his eyes were a piercing gray. I couldn't quite make out his height but guessed that he was at least 6'4".

My eyes shifted to her soft breasts and I noticed her pale pink nipples, and I saw the man lift his mouth to capture a nipple and suck on it, while he caressed her other breast with his hand. I saw the sun dance across the soft sheen of her skin, as she circled her hips in a frenzied motion and slid up and down on top of him. I saw him grab her hips and squeeze her hips, as he forcefully thrust his hips up into her, knowing full well in the dance of love that both were about to climax. I heard their guttural cries and contented sighs, and slowly I turned to leave.

I'm not sure how long I stood watching them, but it was long enough where I was intensely aroused! I quietly headed to the changing station, and once inside the stall, I reached for my cell phone, and dropped my beach bag to the ground and proceeded to remove my sleeveless dress, and laid it across the top of the stall door.

I sat down in the small cubicle and noticed that during the short time I had been at the beach I had received about 35 text messages, most were trivial but I went ahead and responded to each of them, and then I noticed one from Glenn. Naturally, I knew that it his text message was a reply to a text message I had sent him. I groaned inwardly knowing the moment I read it, that I would have an intense craving for him.

As much as I wanted to, I couldn't resist and I opened it and read his reply of "Good god Sarah...we could soooo have fun together...I know u r married...but good grief!"

I felt a warm flush throughout my body as I recalled the text messages that prompted his reply. After previously having seen such an intimate moment between two lovers, and now having read his text message, I couldn't help but imagine the sort of fun he was speaking of. "Good thing he lives out of state." I thought.

Even with my husband being deployed, I had tried to keep the intimacy alive, but it wasn't the easiest thing in the world to do! All of my suggestions were met with a stubborn refusal, it now seemed obvious why.

I was trying so hard to be the 'good military wife' and I sighed in frustration. I had another man who was seemingly interested in me, and yet the man who should have been interested in me, behaved as though he were a frigid, virginal prude and now it seemed like he wasn't even sure if he liked woman anymore!

The sexual desire was coursing through my body and without hesitation I slowly trailed my hands over the swell of my breasts, and noticed my nipples were hard and protruding. I slowly circled my finger tips around my nipples, noticing their pale raspberry tinted color. I slowly moved my hands down, over my stomach, lower until finally my hand was between my legs. I shut my eyes, my finger sliding through the warm wetness, into my swollen aching center. I was aching, I just wanted to be properly fucked!

I gasped as a strong shudder coursed through my body, and I arched my back, and a quiet cry rang from my mouth as I quickly spiraled over the edge in a climax. I couldn't help but softly sigh and did so out of contentment coupled with frustration and deprivation. I hated all these days and weeks of no sex! I was so sex-starved! I couldn't help but scream out loud "I can't stand it! I swear I'll fuck the next person who walks in this changing station!"

As I slowly floated down from my orgasm, my eyes fluttered open and I looked around. I panicked as I became aware that sometime during that private moment of self fulfillment, that someone had snuck in, and had taken my beach bag AND my dress, leaving me naked with only my cell phone.

I was sitting there with my cell phone when all of the sudden I noticed it started vibrating. I looked and discovered it was Glenn. I wanted to talk with him, yet at the same time I didn't because he was so capable of detecting my moods by the tone of my voice.

I slowly answered it "Hello?"

"Hey baby, just had some free time and thought I would check and see how you're doing." he hurriedly said.

"Well, I could be better, but I'm ok." I muttered.

"What's wrong sweetie?" he inquired

I let out a long sigh before I replied and said "I went to the beach and I was getting ready to change into my bathing suit, got distracted, and before I could get into my bathing suit, someone stole both my beach bag and my dress. So now I'm stuck in a changing room, I'm naked and I only have my phone."

I knew that he would burst into laughter simply because I always seem to find myself in the most odd, yet amusing of situations. There was little delay before I heard his mellow laughter and oddly it seemed to echo. I sat there pouting and the laughter just kept getting louder and louder.

Finally after letting out a sigh of exasperation I asked him "Are you done laughing at me?"

In between fits of laughter I heard him say "Sarah, baby you are SO funny!" I supposed I was providing him with his daily entertainment, and I grudgingly had to think that under any other circumstance I would probably have laughed as well.

I couldn't dismiss the thought that it sounded like his laughter was growing closer, and I asked him "Glenn where are you?"

I panicked as I suddenly heard the main door of the changing station open. Then I heard his voice as he said disconnected the call and said amidst fits of laughter "Baby open the door, I have your clothes."

I was quite puzzled and finally exclaimed "How the hell did you know I was at the beach! Are you stalking me?!"

"Calm down, Sarah. I'm not stalking you. Do you remember earlier this morning when we were texting and you said you were chatting online?"

I was quite flustered by now, and said "Well yes, I remember, why?"

He let out a hearty laugh as he replied "Baby you were texting me AND chatting with me!"

As much as I wanted to be mad at him, I found it impossible because the situation was quite funny, but yet I also didn't want him to know I wasn't upset or mad, so I stayed quiet.

"Sarah, I have your clothes. If you want them you have to get them."

I timidly stuck my hand outside the stall, expecting that he would give me my clothes back. I realized I wouldn't be that lucky when he suddenly chuckled and teasingly said "Oh you're not getting your stuff that quickly!"

I couldn't help but softly pout and ask "Why can't I have them? I'm naked!"

"Well that's exactly why you're not getting them Sarah! You are such a blatant tease, and now you're going to find out what it's like to be teased! I saw how you were flirting online." he said.

Too late, I failed to pull my hand back in time, and suddenly Glenn pulled me out where I was standing in front of him naked. I hurriedly moved my left hand to cover my shaved mound, while moving my right forearm over my breasts, trying to cover what I could, but he wasn't having that. He brushed my hands aside and doing so took a sharp intake of breath as he ran his eyes up and down my body. In the next moment I heard his forceful sigh as he drank in the image before him, my curly blonde hair that rested just at my shoulders, my blue eyes, my soft breasts, my long legs, my creamy pale skin, and my shaved mound.

I suddenly became self conscious and slowly turned my face to the side, looking down. He could see my nervousness and suddenly he took my beach towel and wrapped it around me, and then still holding firmly onto my hand walked me to the exit of the changing station.

"Glenn, what are you doing?" I said in an alarmed voice.

"Well Sarah, didn't you say that you were going to fuck the next person who walked into that changing station" he asked in a matter of fact manner.

"Yes but I didn't mean it! I was frustrated when I said that!" I said in a voice that gave way with alarm of what he had in mind.

"I don't doubt you're frustrated, and I plan to remedy that for you." he said in a tone that left no question as to his intent.

In my mind it seemed he was holding the cards in this game - he had my car keys, my clothes, he had me naked and he was using my own words against me! Still holding my hand, he escorted me to a shady area of the beach that was almost obscure with the boulders on one side and a soft hill of sand on the other side, not total seclusion but almost. Suddenly he took my towel from around me and laid it down on the ground. I let out an audible gasp at being naked on a beach, and once again my hands flew up to cover what I could.

He quickly pulled me to the beach towel and I tensed up as he began touching me. His hands were slowly tracing from my breasts tapering down to my waist, and then flaring out over my hips.

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