Anise's Fuck Me List

A note to the reader. In the first chapter of "Comfort the Widow," Anisé and I met in Seattle at a business conference. The next thing you know we're driving her mint condition 1956 Cadillac Coupe de Ville to dinner (and then her place), and horsing around. She unzipped my pants and liberated my cock, casually stroking it. I put my arm around her and dipped into her dress to diddle the Titty Twins, as she called them. Chapter two is about our conversation of our sexual pasts, our sexual preferences, and such. This was sort of creepy for me because her husband had died not long before, and she kept referring to their intimate relations. But it did give my cock a tickle.

In the middle of the conversation, Anisé reached into the glove compartment, took out a notebook and pen, and started writing everything down. What? Probably the most erotic conversation I ever had with a woman in all my adult life, while we had our clothes on that is. By the time we got her place we had a list as long as your arm, and looked like it was going to take a good long while to plow through all the items. I asked her if she was going to put the list on the refrigerator. She said she hadn't thought of it, but what a terrific idea. So that's where the list wound up. Plenty of check marks. Gold stars for the good, kinky numbers. Here is a copy of her handwritten list, transcribed exactly. Anisé thinks it a dandy. Me, too.

1.Copping feels in the car. Titty play. Stroking cock.

2.Skinny dipping. Blue balls blowjob. Oral reports.

3.Eating pussy. More oral reports.

4.The first fuck quickie just as soon as park car, in house, butt naked, on bed. On my back, legs out to here. Let's fuck and be quick about it. Difference between a wham-bam and a quickie?

5."Horsy-humping." Top-riding cow-gal style. Screamers and creamers. Remember to whiney and whoop! Yee-haw. You scream. I scream. We all scream for ice cream.

6.Food fucking? Toys? Which ones, dear heart?

7.The "books." Which ones? Illustrations? "Joy of." "The Kama Sutra Wide World of Fucking Sports." Stories. How-to. How better? How now brown cow?

8.Bedroom outfits, dress-up games and costumes, and "play." As in? That feather-fluffy hot pink sheer number complete with feather fluffy heels. My black-widow tits-up satin corset. Or is that merry-widow. Cinched titty-tight! Big tits and big nipples.

9.Business suit. Fucking in the "the office?" Mr. Big-Me's chair? The big chair? Old stuff--that--blowjobs under the desk. Doggie fucking in front of window?

10.Cheerleader outfits. Bulky sweaters w/big letter "F"? Buy? Sew? Bright red pom-poms. Boas? Red/pink. Silver/black? Holds up the Titty Twins--help yourself, dear heart! Tickle, tickle, suck, suck. The fuck fuck.

11.Swinging tits in face. Swing those hangers, dosey-doe. "Fuck me. Suck my tits. Fuck me." Finger in asshole? Finger fuck my bunny rabbit! Wiggle! Narration? How's it going, sailor? It's going great! Love your great big cock. You like my pussy--'cause pussy likes you! Joosy, berry joosy! The strokes, D.H., the strokes, the strokes. Easy strokes, now--waste not, want not, remember. Poetry strokes. There was a horny young hussy from someplace, who had a really big thing for sitting on your face.... (Get better rhymes). Roses are red and violets are blue, this is great good fucking, how a-bout you! Or the plain old north-woods haiku, I love to fuck, I live to fuck, I love to fuck. Fucking and poetry!

12.Lap fucking while watching big dick porn flicks (no plastic tits-- LOL). NBA basketball?

13.Fucking/69er/fucking. Sounds delicious! Tongue/cock/pussy. Must!

14.Get big sign. "Will Fuck For Food and Drink." "Tonight Is Your Lucky Fucking Night." "Hide and Seek. If You Can Find Me, You Can Fuck Me." "Too Drunk to Fuck." Famous last words. Other signs?

15.Cab driver "hat." Private girl's school jumper! Satin Blouse (got plenty). Pig tails. White socks. Mary Janes. "I've Been a Bad, Bad Little Girl." "You've Been a Bad Boy, Go to My Room."

16.("Oh, Mama.") Talk it up blowjob. Queries? Instructions? What should I do next? Really cheap lipstick for the dipstick. Leave smears on cock, face. Cheap smelly perfume. Oh, please, please tell me, D.H. French kiss Henry. Lick balls. Pucker kiss "rosebud." Big sloppy loud schmoochies! Big hair and big eyes. "How 'm I doin', dear heart?" More like, "Humph, muggle, durgle, dear?" Hard to talk with cock in mouth.

17.Sound of cock popping out of mouth. Poink! Slobber. Pop! What now, sailor?

18.Really gooey tasty sloppy sticky desserts. While 69-ing? Yes! Shoots! Pump the arm! Score!

19.Re: Candy, the cab driver. Younger gal; daddy? Will 'daddy' spank me if I'm a bad whittle girl? Hope a hope. Tie me up (and "ravish" me?). Nylons? Scarves? Hand-cuffs? Buy? Have? Full body "wiggles." Shake Titty Twins in face. On cock. Where else?

20.Eating pussy. Fab favorite.

21.Titty-fuck blowjob! W/food? Tasty!

22.Check Erica's dessert recipes for the fruity-toots. Nuts? Sprinkles of graham crackers? Canned cherries w/juice! Pineapple slush and squirt chocolate! Straight Bailey's. Champagne in navel/pussy? Ready whip or homemade? Hmm. Mousse. Custard. Ice cream??? M.J. recipes? (Or water pipe?) Really gooey brownies cooked w/m.j.--m.j./Amaretto cheese cake. Strawberries, red wine, and cream. Chocolate banana cream pie. 'Tween the legs? Peaches and schnapps/marinade!

23.Masturbation and vibrators. Gadgets and bozos. Hitachi. Remote control Silver Bullet--the egg beater (great for parties!). Waterproof. Wonderful Willie. Big Black Bob. Tasmanian Devil. Dildo named Bilbo. Big Bopper. Buzz. Butt plugs/vibrating? String of large pearlescent beads--rum, rum, rum, they go between my legs. Yum. Anything that doesn't sound like a barbershop clippers. Can we fuck after?

24.Wang dang Candy/cab driver's doodles? Have to work on that one. Strip teasy/easy; lap dance fucking/piece of cake. Fuck on all 4s on the floor, while What's-His-Name takes it to the basket? Hope so.

25.Definitely strip poker. High card truth or dare--a must! (My deck.) IOU cards to leave with morning paper? "I'll fuck your brains out if you wash my back." "I'm not wearing any underwear." For dinner out. "If you can find my cock, you can suck it till the cows dome home."

26.Dress-up fit to kill for evening out. The whole shebang. Slutty clothes. Which ones? In public? Ask Erica. Harem stuff. The chains of coin and hawk's bells--jingle jangle--nipple jewelry--wang-dang-my- doodles. Cock jewelry? It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that schwing! That really tarty, crepe papery maid's outfit. Nursy Wanda Wiggle; Nurse Wiggle to you. Time for your shots/sponge bath. Come-fuck-me stripper's outfit. Dance pole. Bungee cord hammock. Finally get to use. Fish net body stocking/crotchless. Feather fluffy nighties (old hat, but still works magic). Good old big towel, knotted between the Titty Twins. Porn-flick sucking and fucking--I can suck a cock better than that bimbo! Couch fucking. Come and get it right here and now. Doggie fucking at kitchensink/in bubble bath (yum). Shower fucking. Squishy slithery soap (buy). Big bottle.

27.Love long after-sessions. Licking the "salt" off body/you licking mine. Yum. More fucking?

28.How's this, Mr. First Nighter: ripping off the first quickie piece of ass. Been a while for both of us. Sucking and fucking. Licking and petting (food?). Spoon fucking/sit on face/titty-fuck blowjob/fucking-- 69 sucking--more fucking. Showers now and again. Clean fun!

29.Wake 'em up blowjob. Good morning to you, Henry! Swing leg over your head. "Breakfast is served."

30.Big Q. Do we want to try anal sex? J. thought it was too messy. Best way? Research, dear heart.

31.Home movies. Fucking and horsing around. Have camera. Watching ourselves on the monitor--Hi, mom! Look, ma, no hands! "What We Did Over Summer Vacation." King-key. Hmm. Digital cam photo shoot on boat? Bedroom. Cheap motel. Butt naked pictures of me on the Internet? Hmm. Big nipples on big tits. Score the little lady a ten, and send more. King-key.

32.Write a fuckbook story/collaborate? "Trailer Trash Trudy." Get naked. Sit in D.H.'s lap. "It was the merry month of May, and Trudy- Trisha Triple was horny, but then poor Trudy was always horny. She worked the 4-midnight shift at the Swifti-Mart out by the Interstate, and so there was always a steady stream of out-of-state passers-by." Work on that.

33.Write porn flick shooting script/collaborate. "Humdinger Honeymoon, the Movie." Newlyweds on a "Love Boat" cruise to Hawaii is struck by typhoon. Fucking up storm while everyone on board is sick as dogs. "The Quiet American Gets Really Lucky in Bangkok." Speaks for itself. Brown skinned Thai women suck the chrome off a trailer hitch.