tagReviews & EssaysAnother Review of “Hotel Porn”

Another Review of “Hotel Porn”

byDecayed Angel©

In my earlier review of "hotel porn" (A Review of "Hotel Porn") I briefly discussed how hotel and motel companies have discovered the lucrative porn market and are reaping the rewards from adult oriented films. My first look into what these films have to offer the in room viewers took me to a Hilton hotel near Washington, DC. This time I'm sampling an offering from the southwest, El Paso, Texas to be exact.

Now before I get into the stroke of things, I thought a brief geography lesson might help us picture exactly where El Paso, Texas really is. Well, it's in Texas... duh! But Texas is a bit more than an oily spot on Interstate 10, Texas is big. El Paso is on the extreme western tip of the state, something like 800 miles from the eastern border. El Paso is actually closer to Disneyland than it is to Houston, Texas. In other words, it's out in the middle of the desert.

Well, I guess even the folks out in the desert know a little about sex, because when I checked into a La Quinta Inn in El Paso, Texas, the first thing I did was turn on the TV. Sure enough, with the push of a menu button, there it was, courtesy of Lodgenet, selection 3, Adult Desires. I noted that Lodgenet was the same company that provided the adult film selection for the Hilton Hotel I reviewed previously. I immediately figured we'd be in for some delectable sex, beautiful bodies, exotic moans and groans all leading up to a ball busting edit just seconds before the cum-shot.

In deciding upon a film to watch and keeping in mind the unsatisfying and abrupt scene cuts I considered dialing in an all girls flick. There was one on the menu appropriately titled: "Where the Boys Aren't," but in the interest of confirming my suspicion of Lodgenet's offerings, I scanned the titles hoping for perhaps a mixture of male-female contact with some lesbian sex. Obviously, the lesbian scenes do not feature any cum-shots so perhaps we won't be faced with a scene cut just seconds before the climax.

There were ten different adult films to select from, considerably less than what the Hilton had to offer. I found the selections to be predominately male-female hetero sex scenes, with one lesbian selection and perhaps a few offering a bit of both. Unlike the selections at Hilton, there were no bi- films featuring contact between two males while they had sex with women.

Some of the interesting choices included "Cheating Wives" and "Swinger Wives," where the cheating wives were screwing other guys without their husband's knowledge, while the swinger wives screwed other guys while the husbands watched. Two films, "Ultimate Screw/Hot Talent" (a double feature) and "Cheating Wives" had pause, skip, & save controls perfect for skipping over the story lines and jumping straight into the sex.

Passing over such intriguing titles as: "My Sister's Hot Friends," "I Screwed My Teacher," "Nypho-Twins" and "Horny Coeds," I ordered one titled "Wicked Sex" featuring the scenes of Julia Ann. Considering the plot debacle I ran into in my last review, I went to a compilation movie, basically a film where only the sex scenes from one or several movies are arranged back to back. Tonight I said, "To hell with the plot, lets go for pure stroke."

As the movie came up, there were a number of warnings and then some of the beginning credits ran. Wicked Pictures presented "Wicked Sex" starring Julia Ann and... well hell, after Julia Ann the credits ran so fast I only had time to jot down a few names, there was, Lola and Zana, both seemed to lack a last name, and well there was TJ Hart, Mark Davis and Randy Spears, among about a dozen more I missed.

The first scene was from Julia Ann's movie Internal Affairs, co-starring Randy Spears, where Julia Ann in a police uniform is sitting in a well dressed man's lap, kissing him. We might try to guess at a plot from this, but hell, suddenly Randy's spear was out of his pants and in Julia's mouth. It's scenes like these that clearly show why most men haven't become porn stars. Face it guys, it's the equipment, it's not that we don't have it, it's just we don't have this much of it, not by a long shot.

Julia Ann and Randy Spears shed their clothing bit by bit, moving from position to position, as the scene progressed. Julia went from sucking Randy, to sitting on his lap, to doggie style and then to on her back. While both Julia and Randy are attractive and endowed, the sex here was fairly mundane as compared to other porn movies. Toward the end of the scene Julia Ann could be heard begging Randy to "Cum on my face...," and I slid forward in my chair hoping we might actually see the splash. Sadly, just as Randy moaned, the screen went black and we moved into another scene.

We moved so quickly into the other scene that I missed the title of Julia Ann's movie. This segment was another disappointment for me. As the scene began, we noticed a sinister look to the surroundings, a basement, with a furnace... ah, a dungeon. There were two men and four women all dressed in leather fetish attire, heavy on the spikes and leather collars. Some of the women were lightly chained, but nothing was done with any of the props and in spite of the red sheets and fabric all over, we were presented with some fairly straight fellatio and fucking as each man coupled up with a woman.

There was some noisy and mildly interesting double dildo action between the remaining two women, but once again the entire BDSM feel of the set and props were ignored. Hell, we didn't even get the token butt slap that seems popular these days in almost every straight sex scene, where the guy lightly slaps the woman's ass as he fucks her. Thankfully this scene soon cut away to the next offering.

I wanted stroke and I got it: the next scene, from Julia Ann's movie Porn Star featuring Nicole Sheridan and VooDoo, starts with the two women, completely naked, licking and sucking an almost fully clothed VooDoo. This segment was filmed outside and featured one particularly arousing scene with Julia on the hood of a Jeep with legs and lips spread wide as she is eaten by Nicole, who is, in turn, being fucked from behind by VooDoo. Okay, now they had my attention and I watched very intently right up to the anti-climatic cut to another scene.

The scene from Class Act, with Mark Davis, was classy. Mark, clad in a tux, and Julia wearing a white gown with a stunning diamond necklace met and began kissing in a lavishly decorated house. As expected, Mark's cock was enormous, but unlike some of the less interesting earlier scenes, their positions amid the luxurious furniture and accessories were, at times, shockingly beautiful.

At one point, Julia Ann is sitting in a chair with only the white top on, still wearing the sparkling diamonds, as Mark goes down on her. Julia's legs are bent up allowing some excellent close up photography as Mark tongues her clit while driving two fingers into her. Between the saliva and her wetness, the camera picks up a glittering scene easily as beautiful as the diamond necklace. Once again, there is the unhappy cut to a new scene, but after that stunning cunninglingus, I really didn't care.

Okay, given the fact that most of the men who watch hotel films only have them on for 12 minutes or so, I was quite proud I had lasted this long, especially considering the last couple of scenes. Well, the next segment was from Wicked Whispers, featuring 4 women, Julia Ann and three admirers administering to her. Now, like most guys I do enjoy the lesbian scenes, but honestly, it's nothing political, it's just that I like watching cunninglingus and with a lesbian scene there's twice the opportunity for that. With four girls, there is four times the opportunity and yes, that's what we get.

Cameras and angles here were a bit off at times, missing some of the close ups I was aching for, but suddenly, out of nowhere came one of the best camera shots I have ever seen. The four women are in a bit of a daisy chain, with Julia Ann on her back, another woman kneeling above her face, while a third woman is between Julia Ann's legs. The forth woman is at behind the third woman, but is basically ignored.

The snippet of this scene starts with Julia beneath the woman, her tongue sliding up between her very full labia and sliding over the clit. The camera pans back, keeping everything in perfect focus, first picking up Julia's breasts and then down past her wide open legs, her pussy as it is being fingered by the third woman. The camera maintains perfect focus on both Julia's pussy and her tongue as she presses it up into the woman above her. This earth shattering shot was worth the $10.99 I spent on the movie.

The next two scenes were much like the first ones, sexy, but nothing really out of the ordinary. A couple of huge cocks and Julia Ann and the disappointing chop at the end of the scenes.

Overall I'd have to say the film had it's good points and bad, to be a bit more specific, the bad parts were really, merely okay, but the good points were stunning, I guess making the film a positive experience. For a pure stroke film, as long as you are patient enough to wait until the middle, it is quite nice, but keep in mind La Quinta = No Cum Shots.

Well, if all goes according to plan, I should be staying at a Holiday Inn by the end of August, and hopefully shortly thereafter I'll present the Cum or No Cum Shot report. Until then keep watching and stroking to those in room movies.

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