She parked her car, legs weak again. ' Can I do this?' she thought yet again. 'Is this real?. At least it's daytime, day, I could not do it if it was dark'. These thoughts tumbled in and out, crowded with the desire that welled in her. She had wanted to know what HE had felt, the places that he had described in her ear as he pushed in and out, the sounds he placed in her head with each line that he had typed across the screen when they had teased each other for hours, hands fumbling to get themselves off sitting and watching the furtive taboo's spill out.
Keys in hand she faced the plain fronted building. "Adult Superstore" it proclaimed, the parking lot mercifully bare, only two cars parked near hers. Setting her face blank as she imagined was the uniform she pushed the door in, finally remembering...breath girl...breath. She pushed in, determined now, wanting again to know for real what had only been a fantasy till now. It was brighter than she had imagined, the shelves neat, the box images a swirl of tits, open thighs, bare vulvas all screaming for men to LOOK, LOOK AT ME!, I'M HER, THE ONE THAT YOU HAVE ALWAYS, ALWAYS WANTED...not that they were ever real. All of them were hollow promises of nights and afternoons alone, your hand buried in your crotch as you imagined love.
She idly strolled the aisle, each movie a different girls, girls, couple. All started to look alike quickly. She smiled, recognizing scenes that they had copied alone, women that she looked like, women that she had whispered that she wanted as she rode him, looking down at the union of hips, a place where the puzzle pieces finally fit together. She knew that she was getting wet, her memories and the images staring the buzz again. She wished for a minute that she had worn a dress, not jeans, but she had wanted again to imitate him, be him for an afternoon. She picked out two films, smiling that they were less than she had imagined a porno would cost. One had a slick cover, the woman posed in a wondrous glamour shot, all perfection of body, face, the plot neatly summarized on the back. "A story of love, exotic locations, betrayal".
'Couples flick', she thought immediately, only then glancing at the header on the aisle, her summation a verbatim quote. The other was slick, but only if you count the sheen of sweat on the body on the cover, her back arched as she looked over her shoulder as she rode an unseen man, her hands holding her ass cheeks wide, so the view of the cock in her rectum was clear. 'Not a couples flick', she thought, giggling. 'Well, not a couple THEY know, but one I know'. She bit her lip, not wanting to laugh and draw attention to herself. The few other customers were all men, making sure that they did not make eye contact with her, their eyes nonetheless never far from her when she looked away. She had caught the glances in her peripheral vision, smiling as she wondered what she was doing in their mind at this moment. How had the posed her, where was she being probed by them right now?
One last item now. She had toys at home of course, god, so many latex and rubber and plastic friends who had carried her through the night. But she wanted it to be new for this, wanted to have something that was part of this experience alone. Here, this was what she wanted, this one. It was a double ended one; it was perfect for her purpose. She grabbed it and went to pay. Only as she got to the counter did she see that a woman was running the register. Her gut went in, relief hitting her as she handed her the money. She was pleased that it was a woman here for some reason; the exchange had after all been as quiet as between two computers online. Still, she had dared that one moment of contact, the look as she was caught by another man. The clerk never even looked up from her magazine, her pen circling items for restock as she rang the sale up.
The door to the arcade had neon above it, pink neon. She stood there for only a second more, clutching her sack, then opening that last step to recreating her minds eye. This was dark, much darker than the sales floor. For a second she started to panic, back out. Then she saw the lit board, the box covers behind Plexiglas. Section A, Section B, today's choices. He had described going there to her enough that she knew it really did not matter which she chose. All were available, the room the only place you made a decision. As he had promised she was not alone here. A man stood seemingly looking past the board, not seeing the spread legs and open asses on the pictures. She looked past him, one, two men standing in the hall, again seemingly lost in their own worlds. Had He been here, walked these very halls? She wanted to know. She saw a room with an open door, ducked in. With the door now shut, locked she relaxed again a little. It was as he had told her in so many stories of past nights. Large, much larger than she had thought. She heard his voice echoing 'What the Hell is this room so damn BIG for? I mean you could fit ten people in here!', she giggled again at the memory and how right he was. Here was the sofa, a place where he and so many men had been. She wet herself again, picturing them, him sitting there, or kneeling on the floor. The screen was glowing, a scrolling message telling you
PLEASE INSERT YOUR MONEY FOR ADDITIONAL TIME PLEASE INSERT YOUR MONEY FOR ADDITIONAL TIME
She sat her bag down, fumbling for the roll of one's that she had gotten. The machine ate it willingly, moaning instant as the first channel popped on. She stood, watching a woman hold her legs open impossibly wide as another sucked her lips, her fingers pushing into the spread pussy of her companion. For a few minutes she watched, transfixed that she had actually come here, was watching a porn movie-ON HER OWN- at an adult bookstore. A year ago she would have blushed, laughing away the thought. Now, after so many step taken, so many new cravings that had been secrets fulfilled she was here, taking his place, his seat. She pushed the channel button, each scene a new vision of fucking, mouths filled with cock, cum, flesh. She watched a man roughly pounding into another man, his own hand jacking himself off as he was fucked. He had motioned this to her, his initial amazement at the number of gay porn videos that they showed. She had been the one then who was wiser, telling him 'think...where is a safer place for then to get their most secret desire fulfilled? no need to even risk the embarrassment of a rental and a clerk'. The button pushed again, again. She could no longer deny the itching, her legs stiff from clutching her muscles down. She sat on the sofa now, her pants pushed to her knees, not off, just down as she pictured him and all the others, her panties were so wet, they pulled down with only a will of effort, the creamy pungent scent mixing with the smell of semen, cigarettes, sweat.
Her fingers dipped in now, stroking up...down. She teased her lips, wanting to make this last. Too soon the screen went dark, the message appeared again. Grunting she took money again, fed the box; taking care now to give it more, fill it up. She settled back again, hand now rubbing faster. She opened her mouth without thought as the cock pushed in, her own saliva pooling, as she wanted to be the actress, feel that impressive member in her throat. She pictured his hand stroking up, down, his fingers slick with the precum.
She reached into the bag, taking the toy out, only then seeing the free lube that came with each purchase of a toy. She smiled, gratified since she had forgotten in her haste. She coated the fake cock with the shiny liquid, the plastic gleaming by TV light. 'In....in....that's it...deep.' She pushed in and out, her own heartbeat the pattern now. Women fucked other women now, fingers dipping in, some screaming at the clutched lovers, actually spraying as they came. Her eyes went wide at that shot, smiling in appreciation of her abilities, envious also. He could make her do that; he could, but only his fingers, his touch. In and out the fat substitute fucked her, she trembled, cumming, careful to keep her voice down. She thought 'why? Who'es gonna know it's me? Not the screen?' This struck her as delicious, perverse, giggles turning to laughter, the tears rolling down as she fought to get back, the high from cumming so hard making her dizzy still.
As fast as it left her, the hunger returned, now harder, more demanding. She teased her ass now as she fucked her cunt; the fingers slipping in to fill another secret, her most cherished want to try two men. She had fantasized about that so long. She came again, then again, than again, her fist pumping herself so hard now. Collapsing back again, she looked down at the toy. It stuck out of her like he would look here. On the sofa. Her pants down at her knees. The underwear bundled around them. A cock hard sticking up. She spit on her hand, pretending to be a man. She stroked it as she had watched him do it, punching the buttons again, trolling for what she wanted to see. HERE! that was it, she watched the girl fuck the room , her mouth full, her ass and cunt wedged between the rest, fucked by so many men.......she fought to keep her eye open.....fisting her cock.
She wanted it to shoot, to shoot...'god, fuckin' cum..... god damn it...fuck.... fuck...' it beat in her head as she masturbated lewdly now, her mind reveling in seeing herself now, placed on display. Each stroke she made on the cock worked it in and out of her. Each beat pushed her closer to madness. She thought she would do it, would throw open the door; walk out naked, fall to her knees, offer her self. Her mouth fucked, her throat opened, the strange hands pulling her hair as they used it like reins, other men slipping into her cunt, spilling so fast, too fast. Others replaced him, lining up to use her. She saw herself pushing him out of her cunt, her own hand guiding it to her anus, the ring relaxing, kissing the head, loving it, pulling it in. She saw them herself, the strangers, the clerk, saw HIM as he lay there, jacking off, watching her, the screen. Her cries were no longer muffled, loudly they mixed in with the screams and moans of the fakes on screen, her whispers now a muddle as she heaved one last time, legs shaking as she came so hard, sweat pouring down her face.
She woke up, realizing she had passed out, but how long? The same message on the screen as before. She could smell herself in the room now, a scent that was new, a woman's. She lay there, wondering at her performance. She wondered if when she wrote him told him that she had done it, done as asked, would it please him, would he believe her? She stood on legs of paper, almost falling as she pulled her jeans up, the toy pulled out with a groaning 'suck!' having been wedged in deep when she fell away. She placed it in her mouth, one last task, her taste a pleasure she would have taken even without his request. The daylight hit her eyes hard, now realizing why so many came at night, it was too bright, to much like a searchlight looking for the lost. She turned back, one last look. She'd be back, with him or without him.