Average: The BeginningbyCarrier_Violet©
I've always been average. Since the day I was born that is all I've ever known. But I guess I should explain and why I stated that about myself.
My name is Connor Riddly. I am 5'9" and barely 150 pounds. I have slim shoulders and wiry muscles so I'm not exactly a toad, just average. I have a slimmer waist at the top of sleek muscled legs and sandy blonde hair tops my head in waves, with olive green eyes to contrast. And I am finally at the age to be free of my family, 18.
In my family, every male on my father's side, has a gift of sorts. I have cousins who can put thoughts into people's heads, take the thoughts out, and some who can only hear what they are thinking.
They all seem to involve the mind, no one in the family knows why. Just that when the boys of the family reach the age of six they develop the gift automatically at the time of their birth.
But I have lived through quite a bit considering I am the first male to never develop a gift. And gifts cannot be used against those who are descendants of the line either, so I didn't have to worry about thinking anything I wasn't supposed to, which is a relief considering some of the more powerful talents of the family.
I live with the knowledge that my father is disappointed. When your about to turn six and surrounded by all your family and nothing happens, nothing at all, what else are you suppose to do but stuff your face with cake.
Everyone stared at me, but I didn't want to see their faces, especially the look on my father's face. I am the oldest of four siblings. I guess my father wanted to have at least one offspring with something to show for it.
Unfortunately the next two were girls, Briette and Germaine. Finally there is my baby brother, Markl. Markl will have his sixth birthday in two years and my dad actually has a count down clock.
I never thought I'd see someone that obsessed. But according to my mother, my grandfather wouldn't let any of his son's even attend school, fearing they'd be contaminated. Which explains my father never letting Markl out of his sights, since I was taught in school and I have no gift.
But I don't have to worry about any of my family's drama any longer. I will be on my way to college and I made sure to pick a college so far from my father that not even God will be able to find me. I can't even imagine it.
The only let down in this whole thing is I will miss my mother. She never made me feel like a freak because she knew what it was like to be surrounded by so many gifted people and not be one of them. She actually chose to marry into that!
She said she was going to be ok, so I had to believe her. "I have lived with this family longer than you have, so don't worry honey. Enjoy your flight" she said as I was loading the last of my luggage into the taxicab. And of course I had to promise to call when I landed and when I made it to my dorm room. With a final hug for my sisters and brother, and a small kiss for my mother, I got into the cab.
It took three changeovers, but I made it to my college of choice. I did steal myself away enough time between flights to call home to reassure my mother, as well as getting a bite to eat. And all that time I never once had to worry about any stray internal monologues entering my brain.
My cousin Vin can't even go on subways anymore. Every time he rides in one he has every rider's thoughts instantly. My uncle had to pick him up because he couldn't stay upright after the onslaught. I felt bad for him. I rode with my uncle to get him, I was only ten but I still knew to be grateful for what I didn't have.
Making it to my dorm room at last, I unceremoniously plopped on the bottom bunk. Closing my eyes for just a second, I then heard the most amazing voice ever. "That is my bed" said the stranger's voice.
I bolted upright and had a sense of dizziness sweep over me and luckily didn't bang my head on the frame. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know anyone claimed it yet."
The guy actually had the nerve to laugh at my embarrassment. "What's funny about that?"
"I was only kidding man. Didn't think you'd get so riled up over that. I just got here too. My name is Avery."
He seemed to look remorseful enough, so I believed him. With that cleared up I finally relented.
I stood up and offered my hand, but saw he was holding a box. "Let me help you with that. Where do you want it? Sorry again I guess. My name is Connor. Connor Riddly."
"Thanks a lot. But you don't have to keep apologizing for everything you know, I understand" pointing to an open floor space for the box.
He moved throughout the room glancing over everything. It wasn't a big space, just enough room for two people to fit comfortably. In one corner by the only window, there was another desk accompanied by a dresser. Likewise where I had just vacated.
The beds were bunked up so there was some floor space, as well, in case we wanted to fit an entertainment stand, especially for the huge tv he seemed to bring out of nowhere. I realized that neither one of us had anyone helping us to unload, so I volunteered to help him. It seems he had to bring his whole life with him with as much stuff we carried to our room.
"Sheesh dude, why do you have so much stuff? Can't you just visit home sometime?" I chuckled slightly because I know I definitely wouldn't want to go home, even for a single pair of underwear.
He didn't seem ashamed of the fact he had a lifetime's worth of clutter now stacked in the middle of our very limited floor space.
"No man, I just hate the fact that I always forget something important so I bring everything."
"Good plan. But I think we are gonna have a problem walking around. And I don't want to fall over anything when I gotta pee in the morning. I'll probably end up breaking my dick off."
After we both got done laughing, we both had tears in our eyes and sore rib cages, but he didn't relent, "No way would I want to hear you wailing that early in the morning about your penis. I would just hope you didn't pass out without me knowing and I fall over you with my own morning woody."
I couldn't help it after that; I fell on the bed to get the stitch out of my side and he fell next to me. I think I actually stopped breathing for a moment, when I could that is, because the way he smelled was making me plump up in a very bad way.
I definitely didn't want him to see me like this while we were so close, so rolling over fast, I prayed he wouldn't notice why.
He never said a word so I let out the breathe I had been holding. With me looking away from him, trying to calm myself, I didn't notice that he was sporting a slight hard on too. It wouldn't be until later that we found that we had a mutual understanding of the world.
I never thought of myself as gay until I was in tenth grade. Yes, I had thoughts of other boys my age before that, but I thought it was a phase. It wasn't until my best friend asked me to the dance that I was not looking forward to the event.
My best friend was, and still is a girl by the name of Bethany. Bethany was so sweet to me, that I regret not telling her sooner that I was jealous of another girl.
But as the world works, Bethany was the one who told me she already knew I was gay, that that was why she asked me to the dance. She knew I had a crush on Mason and I would never be able to go with him anyway.
For one thing, Mason was a senior and very straight considering all the girl conquests he babbled about in the hallways. For another reason, who was I, the freak of my year, to even be noticed by the hottest sports star of any year.
Most people only guessed that my family was off. They just didn't know about what, so I got plastered with nicknames about sideshow freaks and mutations. So wrong were they about me, considering I ended up just like them, average.
Once we got ourselves under control, me still oblivious to his problem, we went about rearranging the room. And I don't know how we managed, but everything fit perfectly. We still had plenty of floor space to move around.
We ended up moving the dressers to the corner, leaving enough room that we could bring in a couch or something and turn it into a living room set-up. We already had the TV set up. He had also brought a dvd/vcr and plenty of movies, which he said I could watch anytime.
This is going to be awesome. As long as I can keep my dick in my pants and under control. Good luck with that I told myself while catching the fact that I was staring at his backside. But it was so beautiful, sticking out a little bit from his back and thighs that I could probably cup it perfectly in my hands.
Even the rest of him was astonishing. His silky looking hair was the color of the most beautiful midnight sky. A dark black with hints of blue and white when hit with the light at the right angle.
His face was chiseled with high cheekbones and slightly slanting eyes the color of honey. He was taller than me at over 6'2" and probably outweighed me by thirty pounds; no doubt all muscle, worked for diligently. But his ass was the main attraction for me there even with other options coming in close second.
Continuing to think to myself about his ass, I was glad he couldn't hear my thoughts. I don't know where these stray thoughts were coming from, but I wanted to totally ravage him right now on the newly empty dorm floor.
"Calm down Connor, you can pull this off. Stop thinking about and staring at Avery. You are on your own now and you can't afford distractions. You don't want to be an even bigger failure to father if you can't survive even one day in college." I just kept repeating that inside my head while I too unpacked my clothes.
But he was standing so close; I could smell his delectable scent. It was like a mixture of vanilla and something musky. Was it wrong to want to roll all over him so I smelled the same way?
It seemed to take forever for us to put our clothes away. He stood at his dresser folding then rearranging his drawers over and over. I didn't want to fool myself into thinking he was just as distracted by me as I was of him.
Maybe he just had OCD; I don't think I really cared that much as long as he was there. The funny thing is he kept looking at me every time I bent over to get more clothes from my duffle.
What is up with me! Stop staring at him or he is gonna see you looking at his ass. Ahhh!! He keeps bending over every time I think I got myself under control. I think I've folded and unfolded the same pair of boxers ten times already. Just breathe and get something else to put away. What am I gonna do?
I moved here to get away from all the distractions of boys and the University has the nerve to stick me with the hottest guy here.
If I had known I would've brought looser clothing. How am I gonna hide my bulge when he is closer to my escape. If I could just get to the bathroom without him noticing I could take care of my problem easily.
Okay, calm down and breathe again. Nothing can be done now. Just don't turn and he won't see. Or, think about really old ladies with their tits hanging past their stomachs and giant hairy nipples stretched to their wrinkly pussy lips. Yeessss!! It's working, my dick is soft.
Who knew women were so unattractive to me. Well I guess I did since I've been gay since I can remember.
NINE YEARS AGO:
"My best friend and I won't possibly be separated. And he is so cute, I can't believe that I think he is really cute. What am I gonna do?" I had no idea then that you couldn't ask out a boy if you were a boy too. I learned my lesson fast.
After he punched me in the jaw and kicked me after I fell to the ground I knew something was wrong with me. He told me that if I ever came near him again he was going to kill me.
I ran home, the sobs barely stifled by my hands, and ran right into my mother. She took one look at the bruise forming on my cheek and gasped. She made me sit down and explain while she got an ice pack. I didn't know whether to tell her the truth or not. My brain was so fuddled.
When I finally was calmed down enough, I told her I liked someone and they didn't like me back. It was the closest to the truth I could make myself say. She was my mother, I didn't want her to hate me forever when I had no idea what was wrong with me in the first place. I wasn't sure what she was thinking, I was just glad when she finally leaned down and kissed my head. We moved to the living room where we would start the best and worst conversation of my life.
"Avery, you know I love you, but you need to tell me what happened. I know something is wrong. I am your mother after all." She spoke so calmly that I swallowed a few times to work up the courage and told her the story of what I had been feeling toward....Tommy.
I took a moment to peek at her from behind my hair. She wasn't moving, she just had this glazed look on her face as if she were solving a puzzle and didn't know how to answer it. We sat there on the couch for nearly ten minutes before I heard her sigh. When I turned and looked at her for the first time, she was smiling at me. "What! Smiling, why is she smiling at me for? Maybe she knows what's wrong with me and it's not serious? That has to be the reason."
After a couple of seconds I couldn't stand it any longer. "What have you figured out that I don't know about? What is wrong with me? Please help me."
I burst into another set of agonized sobs. I couldn't quite stop myself from throwing myself at my mother who put her arms around me and gently rubbed my back. That made me cry even harder.
"Avery. Shhh. It's alright. Nothing is wrong with you. You just get to experience the world from a different perspective. Don't for one second think you are bad." She rocked me slowly and hummed to calm me down. It took me nearly twice as long as it took her to accept that.
"But why do I feel this way? Can I stop it?" I pulled away from her when I thought I was under control of my feelings. She was still smiling at me so I took that as a sign of something good. I felt more relaxed looking at her smile. "Can you tell me why you are smiling?" I ask as a smile spreads over my face.
"I am smiling because I still love you no matter what and you don't have to be afraid. About the other questions, you cannot stop who you are Avery. Every person is different. You are too. Remember your Uncle Michael? He was gay. You are a lot like him."
"But why do I like boys better than girls. I know all the other boys are starting to look at girls really funny and I just want Tommy."
"That is fine, as long as the other boy is like you. Tommy may not like boys so you will have to let that love go. I am sorry sweetheart that this will hurt you. Just be yourself, okay? I will always love you."
If only I could talk to my mother right now. She would know what to do about my major infatuation over Connor. Who I just met! I really need to get a hold of myself. Okay breathe. See nothing wrong with breathing.
Oh my God!! Is that his smell? It smells sort of like cinnamon and right before it rains. Okay breathing is not helping matters. Why did I have to breathe? Now I definitely have a hard-on, again. No way old ladies are gonna make this bad boy go down.
I shift from foot to foot hoping he doesn't look this way anytime soon. And he has the nerve to start dancing. That is not helping. Well at least he is done unpacking his clothes maybe he will move to the other side of the room so I can sneak past him to the door.
But I guess the fates really hate me. For what do you know, he starts bumping into me every so often while picking up his now empty bags. And he doesn't realize it either.
Whose idea was it to put the dressers next to one another, oh, MINE. How lovely.
I didn't even think of when we have to get dressed the days to come. He's gonna want to get dressed in the same room. Moaning under my breathe my dick gets even harder, if that's possible, thinking about him naked. Why me?
Did he just moan? Surely I was imagining that. I hope he doesn't mind, I was bumping into him while I got caught up in the beat in my head while unpacking.
I got all my bags picked up and stowed under our beds. Because they're bunked, we decided to put the excess underneath.
I sit down on the bottom bunk to rest a bit and out of the corner of my eye I see Avery inching towards the door sideways. Of all the times to be average, I have to be when wondering what the most gorgeous guy ever is thinking about.
If I even had the slightest clue what he was thinking then, we would have saved ourselves a lot of torture later on.