Back to Bristol Ch. 13

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GaryAPB
GaryAPB
856 Followers

Of course, I should have known, Carole had done her thing. Unordered, Jamie got a big birthday ice cream, with candles and sweets all over it.

As I sat there, I could have got very sentimental about how happy it all was. I had to give myself a good mental talking to. There can be four of us in a family, but there are only two of us in a marriage, and marriages have to last when the family has grown up.

When we got back, Ben was hustled off to bed, but Jamie was given half an hour on the computer to see if he could find some music to download. Of course, half an hour wasn't long enough, and he put up quite a fight to have longer, but he lost. I was rather pleased to see that he went into his bedroom with one of his new Harry Potter books, with clear instructions that he was only allowed to read one chapter before his light had to go off.

Once the boys were in bed, Molly got out a bottle of wine. Suddenly remembrance of that Sunday night, so long ago, when I got out a bottle of wine, determined to talk about something that was wrong in my family hit me. It took all my inner strength to not just walk away.

I looked at Molly, "Are you going to be alright?"

"Yes. I hope he doesn't come back and make ugly scenes. It was a bit scary. I hadn't seen him like that before. There were a few minutes when he was quite manic."

"Why don't you go and live with Ralph? They've got a big house. And you are both in this together in some ways, from the Susan aspect of it all."

She paused and thought about that, before almost musing, "I wonder what he'll do?"

I assumed she meant Ralph and I remembered him talking to me, "He told me that he'd forgive her, and that they'd sort something out."

"But everything we find out seems to show her up more. I'm not sure what to do about her. I don't want to break up with my own mother, but.....I'm having real difficulty. It would help if I knew just how much she got up to, how much she influenced me."

"Those are unanswerable questions. Look, I'd be happier if you went to live with Ralph, with or without Susan. Can't you check with your solicitor that there's no great implications of you moving out, and subject to that, move over there. You'd have a built in babysitter."

She looked at me, pleading in her eyes, "Do I need somewhere else to live? Couldn't we have somewhere?"

I guess something showed in my eyes, because she suddenly retracted, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't push you. I know that. It's just....."

"It's just that you will have to give me time. More time. It's been nearly five years. A week or two isn't going to make much difference." I tried smiling reassuringly, "But I am just beginning to shape up some ideas that may not be all you think you want, but somehow will be a darn sight better than we've got now, and is a fresh start."

She looked up sharply, keenly interested, "Is that it? You can't just say something like that and not tell me."

"Yes I can. I have to, I haven't thought it all out myself yet. It's just that I feel we have to do something that'll give Jamie and Ben some security, but I don't know how or what. I thought you'd be pleased that I am trying to make some progress in my thoughts."

"Yes, I'm sorry. I keep forgetting how hard all this is for you. I know what I want, and it's hard to realise that you have doubts. Please just remember that I love you and I'd do anything to be given a second chance."

I smiled, "I could challenge you on that 'anything', but I'm scared you just might."

"You could have come round and challenged me on Saturday night. What happened?"

"And that's precisely it. There is no way I could come round here and just do what I did on Saturday night. I went out, knowing that I wanted sex. Good old fashioned, uncomplicated sex. And I met a charming woman who I liked, but don't care about and will never meet again. And we had good old fashioned sex. And it was great. There was no future in it, I doubt whether we liked each other enough to have gotten past Sunday lunch even if we'd tried our hardest. It was meaningless, wonderful, relaxing, refreshing sex. Now, there is no way I could get that with you. It would be meaningful, and at the moment, it certainly wouldn't be relaxing or refreshing. Every minute would have been invested with emotion and pressure. And you know damn well it would."

It was quiet for a moment, Molly had gone very pale, and then she asked, "Is that what you meant by you've changed. That we can't ever get together, that you're a different person now? You're someone who goes out on a Saturday night and picks up a total stranger for meaningless sex?"

"No. No way. I was completely faithful to you. You know I was. I was completely faithful to Helene when we were together. That's the sort of person I am, and when I'm committed to a relationship, then I like it that way. It isn't an effort, I don't want anyone else. But, just in case you've forgotten, at the moment I'm not committed."

Again we fell to silence, which I broke, "Ralph phoned me last night. He said you were all upset about your suspicions of what I did on Saturday evening. I'm sorry I hurt you, you should know I would never purposely do that. But it was nothing to do with you. I'm a bachelor and I went out on Saturday and I got lucky, I got laid, and that was exactly what I wanted to happen. I'm sorry that you guessed and got hurt by it."

"You could have come round here. I long for you. Do you know what I did on Saturday night? I rubbed myself and thought of you. I love you, I want you, and it's hateful that you're out there looking for something that I'd give you freely and with love."

"And with strings attached. It's inevitable. And anyway, you're married. I'm sorry, but you are, and that sticks in my throat. I don't do it with married women." I paused, and as she didn't respond, I added, "Look. If I ever do get committed to you again, in any way, then I promise, it will be completely natural for me to be one hundred percent totally faithful to you. But, until then, I'm sorry, but I am a free agent."

We looked at each other, and I could read in her eyes that she understood, but that I had hurt her. I felt guilty about that for no logical reason that I could see.

I tried smiling, "If I'd known you were letting your hands do the walking, well I might have come round to watch that."

She smiled, "Watching is a privilege of commitment."

"Told you." I smiled, and then changed subject, "Is it OK if I take the boys to football on Saturday. It's a mixture of business entertaining and a fun afternoon out."

"Sure. Can you pick them up from here, but bring them back to Ralph's. I promised to go over there."

"Sure."

And that was the way we left it.

Nothing much happened for the rest of the week. Peter didn't come back to work, so finding out whether he'd turn up on Monday was going to be critical. Nobody gave me helpful advice or preached little homilies at me, which made a pleasant change. And I got through all the way to Saturday without a problem. It was almost like a holiday in itself.

On Saturday, the football went well with all the children. In fact it was a great success, and John Wheeler started talking about holding family days for the clients and prospects. My boys loved it, and as soon as I got them back to Ralph's, they had to tell him all about it.

He stood there in the middle of his front lawn with his arms around both of them as they jabbered away, but he looked at me, in the eyes, "I'm sorry about Monday night. I think I was a little over-protective."

I just said, "Forgiven. I understand. Things must be a bit stressed for you too."

"But you should think things through a bit better. You have to realise, whether you like it or not, several peoples' happiness is dependent on you."

I turned away, "Thanks. Just what I didn't want to know."

I found Molly in Ralph's kitchen. I didn't have a lot to say. I told her that I'd moved my stuff over to my new flat that morning, and I gave her the new address. She immediately asked if she could see it, and I felt fairly relaxed about that, and said I'd give her a ring.

Somewhere in that conversation, Ralph came in and put the kettle on for a cup of tea, and invited me to stay.

"No thanks. I'll leave you in peace." I looked at Molly, "Just one thing. I've remembered that when I took Jamie to the Zoo last Sunday, just as he'd asked, he told me that it wasn't the zoo he'd wanted to go to. He said he had memories of going to what sounded like a safari park or something with you and Peter. It must have been some time ago, because Ben couldn't remember it. Any ideas?"

She immediately blushed and looked guilty, "Yes. It was Longleat. You know Lord Bath's place over at Warminster." She gulped and looked at me, "It was before our divorce was finalised. Peter had been nagging that he wanted to take us all on a day out. I think he was wanting to show that he could be a family man. But I kept turning him down."

I noticed Ralph was obviously trying to show that he was not listening to this story, but equally obviously he was listening intently.

"But...?" I prompted.

"Well then he turned up at my desk at the Hospital and said he'd just won a Family Ticket for Longleat in some charity raffle. Well, I still turned him down. But, Susan kept nagging, and in the end, I agreed to go. I thought the boys deserved a break, they didn't need to be trapped at home with weepy me all the time. So we went. And everyone had a great time, except that I cried when I got home. I'd just had a great family time with the wrong family man. Oh why couldn't I see it then?"

Suddenly, Ralph said, "Just a minute.." and he disappeared off, leaving Molly and myself looking at each other in bewilderment. He came back with three big box files.

He looked at us, "I guess I should explain. For the last couple of days I've been thinking, getting paranoid I guess, if Susan could lie to me about what she did to interfere with you two, what else had she lied about? So, I've been going through all our old household accounts. Credit cards, phone bills, bank statements, just trying to see if there are any surprises. To be honest I never check any of them when they come in. We live well within our means, lots of things are paid by direct debit, and all I do is keep filing the papers."

"Don't feel guilty. I'm worse these days. I get Carole to file them for me." I said reassuringly.

"Well, I started with the phone bills, checking her itemised accounts. I can go back six years would you believe? I just keep putting new months on top until the file is full, then I take a year out from the bottom."

He suddenly pulled out a sheaf of itemised phone listings. With several lines per page highlighted with a hi-lite pen.

"These are the for the period you two were splitting up. She was phoning Peter three or four times a week then. Some days she'd phone him three times in one day. That shows you the level of their collusion. I'm sorry."

He handed the papers to Molly, "You might like to check them, some dates may jog your memory; explain something she said....Anyway, I moved on to the credit cards. There was nothing particularly inexplicable there. A few charges around my birthday and Christmas that I didn't immediately recognise. The rest is petrol bills and supermarkets."

He looked up at me and smiled, "And No, there aren't any bills from seedy motels or anything like that. But there was one unexplained charge, from Longleat, would you believe?"

He opened the third box, and pulled out what was obviously a set of Bank Statements. "And here is her clearing the cheque for exactly the same amount that Peter obviously repaid her with." He held up the page, pointing to another highlighted line.

Both Molly and I reacted at the same time, and both said something similar, "So she bought the Family Ticket. Gave it to him and he then paid for it. And he said he'd won it in a raffle."

There was a long silence, which eventually I broke, "Well I guess it doesn't tell us anything really new. We all suspected something, maybe not quite this proactive on her part, but something. I suppose it's nice to have proof."

Molly interjected, "But it also shows that Peter was lying to me. That my relationship with him is based on lies. I just don't know what to believe anymore. I don't know how much I was manipulated." She sounded very bitter.

I looked at Ralph, he was deep in thought, "Ralph?"

"Sorry. I don't think I can answer that. I wish I could. I wish I'd known. All I remember is Susan being so insistent that we mustn't interfere. I really thought she was visiting Molly just to help, to be there, to lend a neutral ear, and to cook supper for the boys. Only once did she show any favouritism, one evening we were talking and she sang the praises of Peter. What an exceptionally kind and tolerant man he must be to be willing to court Molly when she was so upset about you, Chris. But I thought that was just a private conversation."

There was a long silence, broken by Ralph suddenly saying, "God! I'm so sorry." And he rushed out of the room, with his hand over his face.

I looked at Molly. "I don't think there's much more to be said, or certainly not by me. Maybe you should go and see your father, and I'll go." I kissed her on the cheek and left.

GaryAPB
GaryAPB
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AnonymousAnonymous19 days ago

@anon 27 days ago. The very last thing he or anyone needs is to see a therapist. This whole story hinges on a lack of communication. Typical soap opera melodrama. You don't need a therapist to tell you to listen and comminicate before jumping to assumptions. A therapist obviously isn't going to be able to fill in the missing information so really they're no use at all.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 months ago

Anonymousalmost 2 years ago wrote: For an MD who is supposed to be able to have hard discussion and look at thinks carefully he sure is a moron.

In reality his work life is pretty stable and he has competent people working for him which makes work decisions easier. His private life is a mess, and finding new things each week seems to just make it messier. Life isn't just black and white, it's also red and blue and other colors, sometimes all at the same time. What he really needs is a councilor or therapist to talk to, but Chris doesn't want to do that. He really needs someone he can talk to, and get it all off his chest, but doesn't seem to have that person.

AnonymousAnonymous2 months ago

Still Here, Is it back on track? a bit wobbly there at one stage. Enjoy you writing.

xhunter4uxhunter4u2 months ago

Whenever a man and a woman show this level of subterfuge there is a lot more going on between the conspirators. Susan is utterly immoral and unfortunately Molly was mentally weak and subject to doing what her dominant mother wanted her entire life.

At any rate, I wanted to say that I'm really liking the writing and editing, and of course the entire story, and that I've only found a few things such as spelling and/or context errors. I usually have trouble staying with a UK author due to the language differences but this has been very easy to keep reading. Getting Molly and Chris back together might just be a bridge too far, though.

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