Back to Bristol Ch. 20

When Will and myself got back to Myra's flat we found the two girls happily chatting. They looked at a fairly drunk Will, and I knew I was not at my most sober. Molly just looked at me and said, "Your plan worked then."

I looked at Myra, accusingly.

Myra glanced at Molly, smiled and said, "It worked completely. Which is why we could talk about it."

As Molly drove us home, she glanced at me, "Sorry. She is really a very nice person. And she is very fond of you in a good friend sort of way."

"I'm very fond of her in a good friend sort of way." I answered and smiled.

On the Monday morning, I got Carole to hunt Myra down, and she turned up in my office just before lunch.

"OK. I used spectator sport and alcohol, what was your secret?"

"She obviously hasn't shown you. We found a gorgeous dress, I think we both wanted it, but it was a bit low cut. So I told her she has better boobs than me, which is true, and that it would look far better on her. The younger woman gave way to and flattered the older woman. Hey presto! Problem solved. And don't tell her I said that. Ever."

"Said what?" I asked.

It was on the Tuesday evening that Molly turned up at my flat in a low cut and rather too dressy a dress for just dinner in the flat.

"You look nice. We're obviously going out to dinner."

Molly just stepped back slightly from me, lifted the skirt up to her waist. She had stockings and no panties, and her pussy was completely shaved, "I thought you might like to eat in."

And I did, and she seemed to quite enjoy it - twice. When we were lying quietly, she asked, "Have I got to keep it like this always?"

"Oh, No. It's nice and different, but just once in a while. Not all of the time. But it was good. Am I allowed to say that it was a lot better than the last time I tried it? I think that's because I love the girl this time."

"Then you're allowed to say it, this once. I want to leave the past behind, all of the past."

And that led to a long discussion about the future. At first, Molly's only view of the future was to be at my side. But, after a lot of cajoling, she painted a picture of her dream future. And it was certainly with me at her side, but in all other respects it was very different to the view of the future that I had. Suddenly, a very large spanner had been dropped into the works.

I was in two minds as to whether I should talk it through with Molly. It seemed so inevitable that it could be the end of whatever it was we had going. She wanted domesticity and family life in England. I was ambitious and would go anywhere ITI chose to send me, and my dreams were nothing to do with where I lived; to me the world was just one big village. Of course I wanted the woman I loved at my side, and I wanted to be a good family man, but my ambitions were for the business, for the money, for the prestige. Until I had a clearer view, I decided not to say anything.

I fancied chatting it through with someone. But Myra was doing a week's work in London, as her work at Franks started to run down. Piers and Jeanette were on holiday. And Carole had only one thing on her mind that week, this 70th wedding anniversary up in Stroud which was happening next weekend. So I kept my own counsel.

But over the weekend, I began to get troubled by something else. Was I just finding problems, excuses not to commit myself? Of course our future was a big question, but if I could solve it, then what? If a fairy god-mother came down and gave both myself and Molly the same dreams for the future, would I dash off and propose? I wasn't sure.

On the Monday morning, Carole seemed a lot happier, and I felt safe asking, "I assume the anniversary party went well?"

"It went marvellously. And so many came. I met cousins I don't think I've ever met before, from all over the country. I had a lovely long chat to a cousin, she must be a bit older than me and she's done ever so well for herself, she married well, she didn't marry a plumber. And I'm sure I've never met her before, it was a lovely surprise."

"Good. I'm glad, after all the hard work you put in." I smiled, "Can you see if Myra's in, and ask Neil Davidson if he's got any good candidates for the Client Services Director. If he hasn't, then tell him to put it on hold, a bit of a reorganisation is running through my mind."

Neil came to see me as soon as Carole saw him, and we scheduled a time to sit and talk about some reorganisation ideas. And Myra was still in London, so no heart to heart there then.

It was just before lunch that Carole buzzed me, "I've got Mrs Frances Parkinson on the line for you."

"Frances, how nice to hear from you."

"Chris. I'm in Bath for a few days, while Parky's out of the country. I was wondering if you could keep me company tonight with a spot of dinner?"

"I'd love to Frances." What else could I say to the wife of my boss? But to be honest, dinner with Frances was always a pleasure. "Where are you staying? I'll book something nice."

"No, I'll book it and it'll be a light dinner in my suite at the Royal Crescent Hotel. I see enough restaurants, eating in suits me when I get a chance. Seven o'clock say?"

"I'd be delighted. Thank you, I shall look forward to it."

I was honoured. On a spare evening The Old Man's wife thinks of me as a dinner companion.

I got to Bath in good time, and even managed to park my car. As I walked along the Royal Crescent I felt quite overwhelmed by the sheer majesty of the perfection of this arc of Georgian splendour. It seemed a combination of science and nature that was somehow bigger than mere man.

When I got to the hotel I was shown to her suite. Frances was waiting to greet me, a picture of elegance and matronly determination, but with kind twinkling eyes behind her glasses.

After our greetings, she asked me to pour us some drinks from the considerable range of drinks laid out on the side. She asked for a vodka and tonic whereas mine was gin.

"So, Frances, what brings you to Bath. It's a beautiful city, and wonderful shopping, but was there a reason?"

"I come from this way. Cirencester actually, and I still have a lot of family down here. There was a big family celebration this weekend, and Parky was away, so I thought I might as well come anyway. It was a 70th wedding anniversary."

I turned and smiled, "And you were the distant cousin that's done ever so well for herself. What a fantastic coincidence."

"I'm sure I've never met Carole before. Neither of us had any idea. And now you know, don't tell anyone. I don't think Carole wants it known at work that she's related to the wife of the CEO."

"She always said she had a big family." I observed.

"Well we had a good talk." She looked straight at me, "We had so much to talk about."

"Me, for instance. Did I pass?"

"I think we very quickly established that we had the same view of you. And Yes, I guess you could say you passed."

It wasn't long before we'd finished our drinks and anyway a waiter was delivering our dinner.

"We're having vichyssoise followed by sea bass, and just some cheese afterwards. I hope that's OK for you?" She said as we sat down. And who was I to argue?

Once we were seated and had started our soup, Frances asked, "Carole tells me that you've been trying to build a new relationship with your ex-wife. How's it going?"

I wasn't surprised, and I did wonder how much Carole had told her. After all, Carole knew almost everything.

"Surprisingly well. I thought the best I could hope for was to build some sort of friendship that would allow us to give our two sons as good a chance as they can have. They've been the victims for too long."

"Jamie and Ben, isn't it? It must have all been very hard on them, but made easier if they know that they are loved by both of you."

I noticed she knew their names. Was that from years ago, when I've talked about them, or was it that Carole had named them? Either way, I had to admire her caring memory.

"Yes. They seem to have survived, but who knows what deep damage it has done? That worries me. I really got to the point where I thought myself and Molly could put it all back together, and for their sake I was certainly willing to try. I know I love her, but just recently, I'm beginning to believe that it would never work out."

"Carole said you'd been really thoughtful and worried for the last few days. She didn't like to ask what the problem is."

I smiled, "I must really have been bad for Carole to be too scared to ask. I thought she was just wrapped up in her anniversary plans."

"Would you like to tell me about it? I haven't been married to Parky for thirty years without knowing how to listen."

And Yes, I did. I knew I'd wanted to talk it through, and Frances was an excellent listener. It took me the rest of our soup to tell her some of Molly's and my story.

"So what's the problem? Why the doubts?" Frances asked, as a waiter appeared, apparently unbidden, to serve our sea bass.

"Last week we started talking about the future. Of course, Molly started with saying that her only future was beside me, wherever I go, which is loving and nice, and exactly what I would expect her to say. But I pushed her to try and talk about what she really wanted, and beyond the fact that she was fed up with her current job, and wanted to go into private practice, which was a surprise, I learnt nothing."

I sipped my wine, but Frances just went on eating her fish and waiting.

"So I asked her just to paint me a word picture of our future life, just a snapshot that seems to sum it up."

"And what did she paint?" Frances asked.

"A classic domestic happy family picture. A farmhouse kitchen, the baby happily sitting in a high chair. And that was news, I hadn't any idea that she still wanted another child. I know that she's sensible enough to know that we both have to want that, but it was unexpected, and I'm not sure how I feel about that. But the whole domestic scene, I come in from work, our sons are happily sitting at the table doing their homework, she's cooking the family dinner. You can paint the perfect English middle class domestic scene."

"I can't say I'm surprised. I wouldn't have minded some of that in my life. So, what's your picture?"

I paused, gathering my thoughts, "I guess it's me coming home to a Manhattan penthouse apartment. A chauffeur driven limo, of course. My wife waiting for me on the terrace, with dry martinis at the ready, and she's dressed in a beautiful designer ball gown. I just have time to shower and change into my tux, before we are whisked off in that same chauffeur driven limo to some opening somewhere. As we drive, we put in our daily call to our boys, who are in boarding school back in England, and we tell them how we're looking forward to our family holiday on our yacht down in the Bahamas, say. How's that? It's a long way from a farmhouse kitchen in England."

Frances didn't answer, she just went on eating her fish, and I waited. Eventually, she looked up and sipped her wine. Then she seemed to change subject completely.

"It was interesting at the anniversary party. Some people were jealous of my life, others were horrified." She paused and looked at her watch. "I think Parky is just about to get on a plane in the Philippines, heading for Sydney, Australia, but I'm not quite sure, I get in a muddle with time zones once the international date line gets involved. Some had sympathy that my home is a London apartment, and I am not quite sure where my husband is or even what time it is with him. Some were really sorry that I had to bring up three children with a husband that works twelve hour days seven days a week and is out of the country for half of his time. Others were jealous that I'm rich and on Christian name terms with prime ministers and presidents, and that Buckingham Palace is almost a second home these days. That I've travelled the world, first class; that I have opportunities to sit on the boards of major institutions and charities, and maybe just help a bit in doing some good in the world."

"And how do you judge it? I hope you've been happy."

She smiled, "Oh, I've been happy, and I don't know if I'd have been any happier if life had turned out differently."

I waited.

"But, I've always had an escape clause. Personally, that made it possible, it's the only way that I've been able to face the compromises of life. I know that I'm doing whatever it is because, however much I hate that moment, I'm there voluntarily. I do have an alternative. One day I'll want to give it all up, I'll want to buy a nice manor house in the Cotswold, near Cirencester say, and go back to my roots. There I'll have my retired husband, and I'll play golf with him for a couple of afternoons a week. And I can have my children and grandchildren down for big family Christmas's and catch up on some of the things I've been missing. And that will all start happening when over dinner one evening I say to Parky that it's time. My pact with Parky is that we live his life until I want something different. I know that if I say to Parky now is the time, then by nine o'clock the next morning Parky will have resigned as CEO. There is no question. It's how we make it work."

"Dare I ask how long he's got?" I asked, knowing she had every right to say she couldn't and shouldn't tell me.

"It's getting less, but he's got some things he still wants to achieve, and he's got some time yet."

I smiled, "OK. What does he want to achieve? There's nothing in the company mission that's a particular milestone for him."

Frances looked at me, considering what to say, "Now I am talking out of turn. I can tell you some things, although I probably shouldn't." She paused again, making up her mind, "He wants to make me Lady Parkinson, which I have to admit I'd like. He wants to see you and Patrick Redmond on the main board. He wants to be sure that Gerry Amersham doesn't inherit his crown when he goes. He wants to see all divisions operate on all five continents, so that he can truly say that ITI has a worldwide span. And a few other things that I can't tell you, and probably a few more that I don't even know."

Again apparently without being summonsed, the waiter appeared and cleared the table, and laid out a cheese board.

When he'd withdrawn, Frances looked at me, "That Manhattan apartment and chauffeured limo can be yours, Chris. But you have to want them, and be prepared to sacrifice an awful lot to achieve them. I've allowed, yes allowed, Parky to do it. But that was because I wanted them to. And we've been very lucky because he has achieved so much for both of us."

"And where does that leave me with Molly?"

"She will have to be happy being like me. In the early years it was a new home, frequently in a new country, every four or five years. Then there was critical, heartbreaking years, of putting my children in the care of the cabin staff as they flew back to Britain to their boarding schools where I wouldn't see them for weeks on end, leaving me on the concourse in tears, and going back to an empty apartment because Parky was off somewhere or other. Yes, I put up with it, and we have the benefits of the material winnings and the prestige now. But I paid for them in my tears and lonely nights and maybe in some regrets. But we do have a good life now, as empty nesters. I don't know whether it was a good bargain, but we got through it and have our winnings to show for it. But both of you have to want those winnings awfully badly."

I nibbled a piece of Brie and said, "You make it sound as if you had years of unhappiness. I couldn't ask her to do that. Did you know what you were letting yourselves in for when you started?"

"No. I knew I loved a burningly ambitious man, and as I loved him I was willing to follow him wherever he went. At first it was the Navy and for him to travel the world. Then it was ITI and to build a business. Achieving his ambitions has made him happy, Parky loves his job and I want to see the man I love happy. But, because of our pact, I know he loves me more than his job. I need that, otherwise I would have given up on him long ago." She popped a grape into her mouth and smiled.

She rose, the meal was over. "Lets sit down more comfortably, they'll bring us some coffee in a minute."

As we waited for the coffee, I was quiet and for a moment I was deep in thought. I heard Frances's voice, "Have I helped or hindered?"

I smiled, "Both. You've helped in that you've crystallized the problem. I know that Molly isn't like you, she doesn't have that need for great achievements or super wealth. She would follow me anywhere, I know that, but I don't think she'd be truly happy. And I couldn't do that to a woman I love. It seems to me that there is no avoiding it, I've got to choose between the woman I love or the job and company that I love. But it's a two edged sword. If I did give up the job I love and go off and become a bean counter somewhere, well that wouldn't work because then I wouldn't be happy. That isn't a formula for a happy marriage either."