Backsliding Ch. 05

Sarah was moving around the house, getting ready to go out. Since it was Friday, she had called me earlier and asked me to come home and pick her up before I headed to the Broken Spoke. She said she felt like going out tonight. I walked into the bedroom and handed her the cold beer. She stood up on her tip toes to kiss me hello. I could taste a margarita on her breath. I was about to comment on that when I noticed the light in the bedroom reflect off of a tiny stud in her left nostril. She saw me looking and smiled.

"Does this look trashy?" She asked, completely serious, pointing to the new piercing.

"Actually, no. It's so small; I can barely see it unless the light hits it just right. I think it's pretty cool."

"That's what the girls at work said, too. They recommended I get one. So far, I like it. So, how about this?" Then, without warning, she grabbed the base of her ponytail, lifted her highlighted hair, and turned her head to expose a small butterfly tattoo on the upper nape of her neck. The soft hairs of her nape had been shaved smooth and a light coating of antiseptic gel covered the fresh ink.

I got hard on that one. When she had been a practicing Christian, Sarah had been totally against piercings and tattoos on women. Now she sported both, although both were small, inconspicuous and in good taste. I knew that most women her age these days had tattoos, including Kelly and Lizzie and most of the girls at work. Lizzie had said once that they were addictive and you could never have just one. I wondered if that would be the case for Sarah as well.

"Damn, girl. You're all about surprises, aren't you?" I joked half-heartedly, kissing her hard on the lips. "Tonight's Friday. I expected to come home to find you gone to Youth Service."

"Oh, you've got jokes, don't you?" She said, taking a sip of her beer. "I think my church days are behind me for good."

"Well, if church is out, we should hurry and get to the Spoke. You can show off your new tat and nose stud to Lizzie."

"Oh, Lizzie has seen the stud already. She was at the shop today when I got it done. Kelly went with me to get my tattoo, but it was Lizzie that suggested I get one when she found out I was interested in hers. It hurt like hell, though. I'm going to have to be drunk or stoned before I get another one."

We took the truck to the bar because it was threatening to rain. As always, we had a good time with our friends there. Sarah had learned her lesson after that first night out and didn't drink to get overly drunk. She liked to have a good buzz and enjoy the evening. Lizzie and Sarah were now really close friends and they kept us laughing with their jokes and antics all night. At one point Lizzie and Sarah went outside. I assumed it was to walk to the convenience store to buy Lizzie some cigarettes. When Lizzie came in sporting a fresh pack, I knew I'd been right. Sarah, however, never indicated that she was interested in smoking. We stayed for a couple more hours. I was having a great time and drinking more than I should have when Sarah told me she was ready to go home. I tried to protest, but she would have none of it. For some reason she looked anxious to leave. I noticed Lizzie looking at her and grinning when we left.

"You guys have fun now," was all Lizzie said when we got up to leave.

Alcohol has a tendency to arouse Sarah and I suspected that she was in a hurry to get home and make love to me. I was wrong. Instead, when we got home, she led me to the den and told me to sit down on the couch. She went out to the truck and came inside with a plastic grocery bag.

"What's that?" I asked as she opened the bag and started sorting out the items inside.

"It's something Lizzie gave me for tonight. Here, put this in," she said, handing me a DVD. It was a porn video. I knew Sarah was dabbling in soft porn and erotic stories on the Internet again, but we'd never watched a hardcore bona fide porn movie together before. I opened the case and slid the movie in. However, instead of sitting beside me on the couch, Sarah stepped over to the recliner and sat down with the bag. For some reason, she was keeping her distance. She pulled out a small wooden box and sat it on the lamp stand beside the chair. She looked at me with real fear in her eyes.

"I can't believe I'm thinking about doing this," she said. I was confused.

"Why? What is it?" I asked, starting to rise from the couch and walk to her. She stopped me in my tracks when she lifted up a small plastic baggie of green leaf. I felt like someone punched me in the stomach. "Is, uh, is that what I think it is?"

"If you think its pot, then yes, it's exactly what you think it is."

"What are you going to do with that?" I asked, sounding like a third grader.

"I'm going to take a bath in it. What the hell do you think I'm going to with it? If I can get up enough nerve."

Tommy and I both took regular drug tests at work, which seemed sort of strange considering we worked at a place that catered to bikers, but Lizzie had no such restraints. She had often made off-handed remarks about smoking the green, but I never really gave it much thought. Now she had given my wife a sample and had encouraged her to try it. I didn't know if I was angry or turned on. I just sat and looked at her as she studied the bag and the two fat joints already rolled inside. She unzipped the baggie and took out one of the joints.

"Are you going to do it?" I asked anxiously. As rebellious and sinful as I had become, I had never even considered smoking marijuana. The only drug I'd ever tried was alcohol and amyl nitrate a few times during sex. "Do you realize what you're considering? You're thinking about doing drugs."

"Weed isn't a drug. According to the girls at work and Lizzie, it's no worse than drinking, but without the hangover. But I admit that I am afraid to try it."

"Then don't do it," I pleaded.

"I want to try it. I'm curious to see what it's like. I wonder what it will do to me. Oh, well, I guess it's high time I found out!"

She put one end of the tightly rolled joint in her mouth and flicked the lighter. She brought it to the flame and inhaled deeply. I expected her to cough, but she didn't. She held the smoke for what seemed like forever, and then let it out slowly. She waited for something to happen. She inhaled deeply from a second pull on the pungent smoke. When she exhaled, almost no smoke escaped. I could smell the powerful weed across the room.

"This shit doesn't work. I don't feel anything," she said, looking at the joint as if it were defective. She put it back in her mouth and inhaled again. After four or five hits, most of the joint was gone. She crushed the roach out in the ashtray she had brought with her from the bedroom. She started to complain again. "I told Lizzie that stuff wouldn't..."

Just then, Sarah's face went blank and she tilted her head back on the recliner. Her eyes started to close into a half-lidded expression. She just sat there, never finishing her sentence. I knew that my wife was stoned out of her mind for the first time and my dick was as pressing against my zipper, as hard as a stone.

"Sarah, are you okay?" I asked after she sat there for several minutes without responding. "Sarah, can you hear me? Are you okay?"

She finally turned her head toward the sound of my voice. I could see her trying to focus. "Huh? Okay? Yeah, I'm okay, very okay." Then she fell back into her half-lidded expression, obviously still riding the intense high. After several minutes, she seemed to come back to her senses. I couldn't stand it any longer. I wanted to know what she was experiencing.

"How do you feel?" I asked.

She was finally able to comprehend what I was saying. She sat up a little in the chair and looked at me. "I feel numb. My whole body is numb. That shit is strong. I didn't think I was going to feel anything, then it hit me like a fucking train," she started to giggle for no apparent reason. "I said fucking," she said, giggling harder now, "I don't fucking cuss. I'm a fucking good girl!" She laughed harder.

"I take it you're stoned," I replied.

She seemed to ignore my comment. "I think I'm fucked up."

I let her sit in the recliner for several more minutes as I watched the plot-less porn movie she had put on. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore so I stood up and walked to the recliner. I took her by the hand and pulled her up. She stood up and followed me to the couch without comment. We sat and watched the porn together as she started to come down and mellow out. I asked her again how she felt.

"I feel good, sort of funky, but in a good way. Now I know why people smoke this stuff. It makes you feel pretty good. You should try it," she said, giggling again softly.

"You know I can't do that. I'm surprised you did it."

"Yeah, me too, but I'm glad I did. Lizzie said I'd like it and she was right. I wonder if Kelly has tried it yet," Sarah said, temporarily zoning back out.

When she came down again, she started rubbing the bulge in my jeans. She opened my zipper and pulled out my dick, stroking it lightly as she watched two women fucking on the movie. She knew I was aroused.

"That really turns you on, doesn't it?" She asked, pointing toward the TV. "You'd love to see me fuck another woman, wouldn't you?"

I knew the weed was talking. Sarah never talked about our fantasies, but the smoke had made her bold. I just muttered agreement. She already knew that I'd fantasized about my wife with another woman. I had for years.

"Well, I've got a couple of fantasies of my own, but we'll talk about them some other time. I do admit, though, that watching this movie is really turning me on. I always thought a woman going down on another was sick, but this shit is pretty hot."

I took my chance. "So, are you saying you'd consider being with another woman?"

"I'm saying this shit on TV looks pretty hot. Now, get your ass up and let's fuck."

Overall, Sarah was still pretty conservative even after leaving her church. She still seldom used profanity, unless she had been drinking. The weed must be having a similar affect on her, I reasoned. We got up and walked to the bedroom. I noticed that she brought the wooden box with her and sat it on her nightstand.

I sat on the edge of the bed and started unbuttoning my shirt. She stopped me and did it for me, rubbing my chest in the process. I was already turned on, now I was getting really aroused. She was wearing a tight black spaghetti strap shirt that barely covered her abdomen. I could make out the slightest hint of the silver dolphin dangling from her belly button. I lifted up her shirt and unhooked her bra. Her tits bounced free. I pulled her to me and sucked gently on her left nipple. She moaned and unbuttoned her jeans, wiggling out of them and kicking them out of the way. I noticed she was wearing a thong. She bent down and kissed me on the neck and pushed me back on the bed. She dropped her thong and climbed in on top of me, straddling my dick. I began to thrust as she rode my cock.

"Wait," she whispered. She leaned over and turned on the lamp beside the bed. "I want you to watch."

She opened the box and took out another joint and the lighter. She sparked the joint and inhaled deeply, sitting motionless on my throbbing dick as she held the smoke deep in her lungs. She exhaled toward me. The pot smell was so strong that I could feel it starting to affect me after she did it three or four more times. I was getting a slight contact high and I liked it. She sat there on my dick with the light on as I watched the change come over her face. I could literally see her eyelids droop as she started to get stoned again. I knew I was about to explode.

She looked at me through glassy eyes and smiled. She knew exactly what she was doing to me. "Now let's fuck!" She said.

Sarah didn't suddenly become a pot smoking porn slut after that night. In fact, after that night, she gave me the little wooden box and told me to throw it away. She had enjoyed her experiment with marijuana, but it wasn't something she was interested in doing anymore. I guess she was naturally a lot more conservative than I'd really given her credit for, even if most of her innocence was lost.

Life went back to our new normal and we settled into a routine. Both of us were prospering in our jobs as time went on. We both received promotions at work and the extra money helped. We'd even mentioned the possibility of kids in the near future, but both of us agreed that the time wasn't quite right. For us, having kids meant settling down to a life of ball games, back yard barbeques, and a house with a white picket fence, PTA meetings and church on Sundays. It was still much too soon for either of us to have the church on Sunday part, so we knew that kids were still a ways off.

Sarah had curtailed most of her experimentation after our night with the porn and pot. She did get another tattoo, this time along her lower back, but it really was tasteful and not readily visible when she dressed for work. I knew she liked it, so I didn't bother her about her "tramp stamp". I even allowed her to talk me into getting a tat of my own. It looked pretty good, but it hurt like hell and I was a sissy when it came to needles. I flat refused when she suggested I get my ear pierced like a proper biker. I settled instead for her suggestion of buzzing my hair really short and letting my goatee grow out. She seemed satisfied with my changes.

We both still had our friends at work and we both enjoyed hanging out. Instead of Friday night church, Sarah's new church was La Cantina, a Mexican bar and grill across town where she'd meet her friends after work for margaritas. She'd usually meet me afterwards at the Broken Spoke where we'd have a few more drinks and socialize with our friends. Kelly had insisted that her husband come see me at work and I was able to make him a really good deal on a vintage Electra-glide that we had gotten as a trade-in. I got a kick out of watching Kelly and Sarah show up at the biker bar with their fashionable leather halter tops or other Harley paraphernalia.

As the spring turned into summer, Sarah started to wear shorter shorts and skirts. She loved to lounge around the house in Daisy Duke cut off jeans that barely covered her ass, though she seldom wore that sort of thing out in public. She did wear them out to the bar or biker rally occasionally. She also wore t-shirts and tank tops almost exclusively on her days off from work.

One Saturday morning she surprised me when she announced that she was going in to the salon. I asked her why.

"I want to cut my hair," she said.

"Your hair is cut. Look at it, it barely reaches past your shoulders these days," I replied. It was no secret that I missed her long hair brushing the top of her ass.

"It's too hot for hair. I'm going to chop it all off!"

I tried to talk her out of it, but she wouldn't hear of it. Finally she confided in me that her hair was the last thing that reminded her of her old life in church. She was finished with that life and wanted to finally break free of it forever. Three hours later, she walked back in the door with a short, funky and very trendy haircut. Her scarlet tresses were gone and she now sported an almost white color. Rachel had given her the makeover, suggesting the drastic cut and color. Her bangs were left long and hung on one side over her eye. Rachel insisted that she leave the long fringe of her bangs her original scarlet color, which contrasted brilliantly with the platinum of the rest of her hair. The new short cut showed off Sarah's multiple ear piercings and the tattoo on her shaven nape. Her makeup was much darker and smoky as well. I had to admit that this new style looked amazing on my wife. She was even more beautiful than she had been when I met her.

Sarah and Kelly had discovered this nice dance club across town, ironically not far from our old church. I thought Sarah may be apprehensive about going out that close to the church for the fear that someone from there may see her, but she seemed to have put away any inhibitions about being discovered in her backslidden state. It was a rather upscale place that catered to college students as well as couples our age. It was a place where Sarah, Lizzie and Kelly could put on those tight mini-dresses that left nothing to the imagination and go dance the night away while us guys sat around and drank a lot of beer and watched them dance. They danced most of the fast, techno songs with each other. I'll be the first to admit that watching my wife back her ass up to another woman was a major turn on, even if I knew it was make-believe.

We frequented this new club almost every Saturday night. One Saturday night, as I was leading Sarah off of the crowded dance floor, I bumped into a beautiful young college age girl. I said excuse me and continued to lead Sarah off the floor.

"Brother Jim? Is that you?" asked the blonde. I looked at her, searching for recognition. It was dark in the club and the black light illuminated her white mini-dress to a brilliant blue-white, but it made her face hard to make out. She did look vaguely familiar, however. I was about to ask her name when she broke the awkward silence. "Sister Sarah? Oh my god! Sister Sarah! It's me! Jennifer Beachum!"

I blinked in amazement as I finally recognized Sarah's former Sunday school student. Jennifer had certainly changed from the last time I'd seen her. Her formerly mousy brown locks were now dyed blonde and her hair had been cut to her shoulders. Like Sarah, she sported a nose ring and I noticed an eyebrow ring as well. She held a mixed drink and a pack of cigarettes in her hand. Sarah and I both spoke to her and told her how good it was to see her. We didn't do a very good job of hiding our surprise at seeing her in a night club.

"Wow, Sis-"Sarah cut her off.

"Please, just call me Sarah," she said. Jenny smiled and nodded, and started rambling. She was talking so fast and her speech was so animated that I immediately began to suspect that she might be high on something. I'd heard that the kids liked to take pills at clubs like this.

"Okay uh, Sarah, it's so amazing to see you here! It's been so long. You look, like, totally amazing. It's so weird running into you like this. I love your hair. I've wanted to chop all of mine off, but I'm too scared. Mom says I should, but you know dad. He'd kill me. He's pissed at me for all of this. Maybe he's right, but I'm young, you know? Like you told me, it's a decision I had to make for myself. I want to get it all out of my system while I'm still in college. Then maybe I'll go back to church and, like, settle down and stuff. If dad knew I was drinking and smoking, he'd shit! Whoops, I'm sorry; I didn't mean to swear in front of you. It's just a habit now."

"It's okay," Sarah said, stealing a quick glance toward me. I could tell she thought Jenny was high as well. "So, how are your mom and dad?"

"Dad is still dad. He'll never change. But mom is a different story. You did know she quit church, right? She left not long after you did. Well, I left first, but she wasn't much longer after that. Your resignation that night really threw some people for a loop. There have been some major changes at church after that. Most of your Sunday school class left after I did. I saw Heather and John here earlier tonight. I'm sure they're still around. I'll see if I can find them for you. Oh, wait, you asked about mom. Mom is great. She kind of got depressed after you and I left, but she got over it. She started missing church and one thing led to another and she finally just quit. She and dad had separated while she was going through all of that, but they're together again now. She cut her hair and started wearing pants and shit, too. Dad stays pissed at me, but mom runs interference. Wow, it was so nice to see you. I'm going to go find John and Heather for you." She was still rambling as she started to walk away. I looked at Sarah and could tell she was shaken up.