Backstage Romance Ch. 10

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ikhneumon
ikhneumon
312 Followers

I fought the urge to hide behind my hair. I'd been trying to break myself of that habit since Jeff pointed it out to me. "Jeff's a great guy. He's been a dream to work with. And he's such a terrific actor, the audience loved him tonight."

Kelly agreed. "I haven't seen an actor melt a theater like that in a long time," she observed. "You should have heard some of the conversations in the lobby afterward, especially from the women. I thought I might have to call in bodyguards for him to keep the groupies at bay." I glowered in irritation. I was really having a hard time hearing my boyfriend discussed as an object of feminine desire. Jealous much, Daniel?

Judy swelled with pride. "Well, we're biased, of course, but his sister and I think he's pretty good, too."

"That's right, I thought Jeff mentioned his sister would be here tonight," I exclaimed. "I was looking forward to meeting her." Was that safe to say? Surely Jeff might have casually mentioned that to anyone backstage, right?

"Julie was planning to come, yes, but one of the kids got sick at the last minute. She'll try to catch one of the performances later in the run, as soon as she can find time to manage the trip. You'll probably meet her then."

"The trip? She's not local, then?" asked Kelly.

"She lives about a hundred miles away, just far enough to give her space from her old mother," Judy said, with exaggerated self-deprecation, "but close enough that she and Joe and the kids can come visit whenever they feel like it. I live just outside city limits."

"Well, it must be nice to have both your children so close, with Jeff living right here in town," said Kelly.

"Jeff fusses over me sometimes, but it is good to have him nearby," Judy admitted. "That is, when he's not flying around the country for work. It's so embarrassing to admit to being a clingy mother, but I missed him terribly when he was out in California. "

"I can imagine," I blurted out, unthinking. "It's hard being away from the people you love for long stretches." I was thinking about Jeff, away at a gig for two months at a time. Even if we made it past the show's closing, could we ever manage to sustain a relationship through that kind of separation? How did theater people do it? My eyes strayed to Heather and Justin, still beaming and receiving congratulations. Kelly shot me a concerned look.

"Don't you have family in town, Daniel?" Judy asked.

"Um, no, I don't really see my family all that often."

"But you'll be spending Christmas with them, I imagine."

"No, actually I'll be here. The play runs right up to Christmas, you know, and flights are too expensive."

Judy paused and considered a moment, head cocked to one side as she studied me. I occupied myself with my Pellegrino to escape the scrutiny.

"Well," she finally concluded, "we can't have that, can we?"

I didn't have a clue what she was talking about.

She raised her voice slightly. "Jeffrey, dear?"

I saw Jeff's shoulders jerk as his attention turned away from his conversation. I almost had to stifle a giggle. There's something about having your parent call you by your full name. His face and body language reminded me of a kid who expected to receive a scolding.

Clearly the same thought had occurred to Judy. Her voice was mildly scolding, but her eyes were twinkling at me.

"Why didn't you tell me that poor Daniel here was on his own with nowhere to go for Christmas?"

Jeff froze, eyes darting back and forth between us. "You are?" he asked me. Then, without waiting for a response, to his mother, "It never even occurred to me to ask." Dismay was clearly written across his face. Probably across mine as well.

Judy tutted. "And to think that I raised this boy. Well, now that you know, you can be his chauffeur. Daniel, welcome to the family. You've just been adopted."

Kelly squeaked. I was stunned. "Oh, I couldn't! I mean, thank you very much, ma'am—Judy—that's really kind of you, but I'd hate to impose."

In fact, I had been planning on hanging out with Kelly and Josh on Christmas, as usual. Getting absorbed into Jeff's family seemed like an awfully premature step. Neither of us had said anything yet about whatever we had between us going long-term, and I didn't want to be the one to push him out of the closet before he was ready.

No. I lie. Of course I wanted him to come out of the closet for me. I wanted it all. With Jeff, who wouldn't? But ruining someone's family Christmas is not the best way to start a relationship. More like a good way to end one, if you ask me.

Nobody was asking me. Judy was adamant. "No imposition at all, Daniel. No one should spend Christmas alone. Jeff will pick you up and drive you to my house Christmas Eve. No gifts necessary. Just be sure to bring your pajamas to wear that night and Christmas morning. It's family tradition. We'll all very much look forward to seeing you. Now that's settled, Jeff, if you have a moment..." She took his arm and walked him a few steps away, talking in a low voice.

"I want to be like her when I grow up," Kelly announced.

* * *

"I'm sorry. I should have asked you," Jeff said later that night, as we lay relaxing in the sweaty, blissed-out afterglow of opening-night sex.

I was confused for a moment, then made the connection. "About Christmas, you mean?"

He nodded, though I could only tell that by feel, since my head was resting on his chest. "I just wasn't thinking that far ahead," he said.

"I wasn't either. It's okay. I'm not offended." In the following silence hung a question neither of us had broached. The play's run ended December 23rd. What happened beyond that point? I wasn't going to bring it up if he wasn't. Cowardly Lions don't address elephants in the room. I settled on a different question.

"Would that be awkward for you? Having me there with your family? I don't want to cause problems."

He thought about that for a moment. "No," he answered, sounding surprised. "Actually, it sounds wonderful. I'd love to spend Christmas with you." He planted a kiss on the top of my head. "It'll just be hard keeping my hands to myself."

"That's okay. I like it when it's hard," I joked. I nuzzled into his arms a little deeper and ran my hands through the hair on his chest. He groaned appreciatively. I wasn't sure why that was a turn-on for him, but since I had discovered it, it certainly made up for his nipples' lack of sensitivity. "You've managed to keep it clean at work so far..."

"At considerable cost to my poor blue balls," the perv interjected.

"...so I guess you can handle doing it for a day or two at home."

I could feel some stirring beneath the sheet that indicated Jeff was getting ready for round two. I reached down and fondled his swelling penis.

"We'll just have to schedule a shopping trip between now and then," I continued.

Jeff's arms slid down to my waist to pull me over on top of him. "And why would we need to do that?" he asked.

I growled and ground my own rapidly returning erection against him. "To buy me a pair of pajamas, of course," I answered. "You might have noticed I usually sleep in the buff."

Jeff's eyes were already glazing over with desire. "Seems a shame. I happen to be very fond of you in the buff."

Our lips met, ending the conversation for the night. When I broke free, I snagged the condoms and lube off the nightstand. At the rate we were going, we would need to start buying them in bulk. I was already loose and slippery from our previous session, so as soon as he was suited and slicked up, I slid right down on his dick, taking him to the root in one delicious movement. I let loose a contented sigh as his balls nestled up against my ass.

Our first bout of lovemaking that night had been urgent and energetic, fueled by the nerves and adrenalin of opening night. This time we were both languid and relaxed, simply enjoying the sensation of being joined together. Jeff thrust into me with long, patient, steady strokes. I straddled him, moving easily in rhythm. We kissed, deeply and sensuously, taking turns exploring each others' mouths with our tongues. My dick stood proud and happy between us, dripping pre-cum down my balls and onto his stomach. By the time Jeff shuddered, gasping "Daniel" as he let loose inside me, it only took a few quick strokes of my hand to join him in orgasm.

I reached over for the already-soiled hand towel and wiped us both off, stripped off the condom and disposed of it, and snuggled back down into the bed, into Jeff's arms. Our closeness helped dispel the sense of insecurity I had been feeling all evening. It occurred to me that I might have just as hard a time restraining myself around his family.

What had I let myself in for?

—————

* Jeff *

The next three weeks were some of the happiest of my life. Now that we were into our performance schedule, my mornings and early afternoons were free. Free to sleep in after getting home at midnight. Free to run errands, go Christmas shopping, go to the gym, and take care of housework during the day. Free to spend lazy morning hours making love to Daniel. Especially the lazy mornings making love to Daniel. I never tired of waking up to find his naked body lying next to me, mine and mine only to worship.

Ever since he had opened up to me about his experience at Brian's hands, Daniel had started to become much more demonstrative with his affection. To my delight, he began initiating touch, with gestures that ranged from resting a gentle hand on my ass or the small of my back, to fierce, demanding kisses that often led to even more. One highly memorable morning, somewhere between "Good morning" and "What would you like for breakfast?" he started a chain of events that ended with us both naked, sweaty, and streaked with cum, sprawled out on the hardwood kitchen floor. One more item checked off my to-do list, and it hadn't even been my idea!

I did manage to get out of the house to run a few errands, though. Daniel and I usually separated after lunch to take care of our own individual business during the afternoon, more often than not meeting up again for dinner before we headed to the theater. One of my errands, and the most important, was a trip to the doctor for testing. I was confident that I was clean—it is kind of difficult to contract STDs when you're celibate—but I wanted to be able to produce the paperwork to assure Daniel of the fact. I was thinking of it as an early Christmas present.

I supposed it might turn out to be more a symbolic gesture than a practical one. I had no idea whether Daniel was even into barebacking. I had never in my life tried it, and the idea both intrigued and frightened me. Coming of age at the height of the AIDS epidemic had made condom use instinctive. But I knew the younger generation often had a different attitude. I was grateful to have two weeks while I waited for the test results to consider just how I wanted to broach that topic.

Back at the theater, by the time the opening week of the run was over, the cast had found our footing and could perform with confidence. Angela and I found the rhythm to our love scenes that could put the audience on the edge of their seats. Christina honed her comedic timing to perfection. Even Joseph seemed to have finally settled into his role with confidence, creating an awkward but sympathetic and believable character.

Scott had stayed around long enough to give us notes, run us through a few tricky spots, and oversee the second performance before jetting off for another directing engagement somewhere halfway across the country. We wouldn't see him again until the final performance, when he would be joining us for the cast party.

After an extended round of phone tag, and a week's delay during final exams at the university, Professor Ryan and I finally met for lunch on the third Friday of the run. I was more than a little nervous about our conversation. He had sent me a lengthy, gracious and articulate e-mail following the preview that included an insightful critique of my performance—input I had gratefully put to good use—but not a word about what he had seen backstage later that night.

In person, though, he didn't waste time beating around the bush. As I was digging into my green salad, he said, musingly, "I suppose, if I had been paying the attention I ought, I should have been hoping that you and Daniel Lewis would find one another."

"What do you mean, Professor?"

"Daniel has always been a difficult one to read. So much passion for the theater, but apparently no will to put his own considerable talent out there for others to appreciate. The amount of coaxing he took as a student... And you, my boy, as technically accomplished as you are, you've always been so controlled, so careful in your choices. That night at the theater, I saw an actor who'd been liberated from his inhibitions. The performance was a bit raw, of course, only to be expected on a first airing, but the difference was noticeable enough to make me wonder. When I saw the two of you together afterward, it was as if I had been holding two pieces of a puzzle that suddenly, unexpectedly fit together."

I fought the urge to imitate Daniel's shy pose. I didn't have the hair for it. Instead, I tried to play it lightly. "That's very poetic, Professor, but I think I'm going to need more clarification."

He looked at me as if I were an idiot. Then, very clearly and kindly: "You're in love, my boy." I almost choked on a cherry tomato. "Do I need to make things any clearer than that?" he asked.

Love? Love. Of course it was love. Why did the word surprise me so much when I already damn well knew the truth? Because it was the first time someone else had confirmed it, I answered myself. I had avoided thinking about it too carefully, too concretely, even as I revelled in it. Was it really that obvious to an outside observer? How else do you suppose Scott and the rest of the cast figured it out so quickly, dumbass?

I took a deep breath. "You always were able to cut to the heart of a situation, Professor."

"Situation? You make it sound like a crisis. I was simply trying to offer my congratulations."

"I appreciate that. Really. It means a lot, coming from you. I was just wondering," I hesitated. Man up, Jeff. He knows, he approves, he's the closest thing to a father you have now. "I mean, this is all very new, for both of us, and I feel like... I don't have a clue what I'm supposed to do now," I admitted.

"Do? Enjoy it, Jeff. Cherish it. It's already made you into a better actor. And if you let it guide you, it will make you a better man. Here, I have something I wanted to show you."

Professor Ryan dug in his pocket, pulled out his wallet, opened it, and withdrew an old black-and-white photograph. I took it from him carefully, handling it by the edges to avoid leaving fingerprints. The image showed a handsome man with long fair hair, smiling openly into the camera. Judging by his clothes and hairstyle, I guessed it was taken in the late sixties or early seventies.

"That was Ron. Ronald Gordon. A playwright. A real talent, sadly forgotten today. He's long gone now. Cancer took him from us in '78, tragically young. I suppose it was a mercy he never saw the devastation of the plague years. But he was the love of my life."

I had never even imagined Professor Ryan having a love life, let alone a gay one. "I never guessed," I confessed sheepishly.

He waved it off. "It wasn't really relevant until now. I guessed about you, though. Daniel, well, he's a little more cagey. But you, I could always see the struggle, valiantly as you tried to conceal it. If I'm not mistaken, I think now that struggle is finally coming to an end. It was the same for me with Ron.

"We met during a summer Shakespeare festival. I was Romeo, he was Mercutio. I think some of the reviewers said I had better chemistry with him than with my leading lady. They weren't wrong." His eyes twinkled at the memory. "Ron taught me that fearing my own emotions was holding me back as a performer. When I let myself love him, I opened my acting to that passion as well. In turn, I found out he had the ambition to write, and encouraged him to pursue it. If he'd lived longer, he might have become one of our major playwrights. As it was, he'll always be my playwright, the playwright of my heart."

I absorbed what he had said, feeling alternately elated and terrified by the implications. "That reminds me, I did want to ask you one other thing. Like you said, Daniel seems to go out of his way to hide his light under a bushel. Is there anything I could do to help him with that? The way you encouraged Ron?"

The Professor thought about that a moment. Then, slowly, he answered, "It's always tempting to push forward the people we love and admire. It's only natural: we care for them, we want them to succeed. But always remember, Jeff, he has to want it too. I would say, make Daniel aware of opportunities you see, help open doors when you can, but always make sure that his decisions are his own, that he's choosing what he wants, not what he thinks will please you. Otherwise, you're risking his resentment."

And there, in a nutshell, was the reason behind the failure of my last relationship. Where was Professor Ryan when I needed him then?

I thanked him, and promised to touch base again after the holidays. As we were getting up from the table and saying our goodbyes, a thought occurred to me.

"Larry?"

His smile broadened at the use of his first name. "Yes, Jeff?"

"Do you happen to have any of Ron's plays?"

"I have all of them, of course. They're all that's left of him."

"Could I read them sometime?"

"Any time, my boy. I'll have copies sent around to your house."

* * *

I was pulled over by the police on my way to work and given a warning for speeding. It barely registered. My mind was racing. My test results were due Monday—the night the theater was dark. This would be my opportunity to tell Daniel—what? That I loved him? That I was willing to dispense with the latex if that's what he wanted? That I was ready to come out to my family for his sake? That I wanted him to move in with me? All of the above?

That nagging voice in the back of my head asked, But is any of that really true? You need to be sure of what you want before you commit to anything. It sounded suspiciously like Christina's cryptic advice weeks ago, never explained and mostly forgotten. Neither of us had ever brought the conversation up again.

That night the play really caught fire. Everything clicked, everything worked. I was buzzing with adrenaline as I went backstage after the final bow. The performance had been fantastic. We were caught up by the enthusiasm of the applause and carried backstage on a cloud. Performers live for those precious, magical moments. They make up for the dozens of bad nights, or worse, the hundreds of mediocre ones, when however hard the cast tries, the laughs fall flat, and half the audience seems to have developed whooping cough.

I found myself humming "Danny Boy" as I wiped off my makeup and stripped off the costume for a quick shower. Just as I was stepping out, wrapping a towel around my waist, I heard a knock on my dressing room door. "Come in," I called, hoping it was Daniel.

The door opened. In walked a tall, broad-shouldered man with thick, dark hair, liquid brown eyes behind elegant wire-rimmed glasses, and a sharp, close-trimmed beard. His expensive suit was exquisitely moulded to his athletic frame. I froze, not believing my eyes. I knew this man.

"Hello, Jeff."

"Timothy!"

ikhneumon
ikhneumon
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18 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago
as they say when acting - timing is everything

perfect ending with Timothy turning up - didn't see that

TimothyMTimothyMover 11 years ago

I agree, absolutely the wrong place/story to moan about oral sex and STDs. Neither of them have indulged in casual sex (safe or not). Jeff's been monogamous and then abstained for years, and Dan's been celibate since a complete test. In fact, I think they could have indulged in unprotected sex all the way much sooner.

And I still think this story is a great blend of sex and romance in show business.

ikhneumonikhneumonover 11 years agoAuthor
Safe sex and oral

You bring up a valid and important point, rabbitfish. Unprotected oral sex can definitely transmit disease. Even though it's generally considered a lower-risk behavior than anal or vaginal intercourse where HIV is concerned, that still doesn't make it 100% safe. And there are lots of other nasty bugs, such as herpes, syphilis and gonorrhea, that are much more readily contracted by oral sex.

That said, I'm a bit puzzled as to why you chose to voice your objection on this particular chapter, in which Daniel explicitly assures his partner for the second time in their relationship that he has been tested and is disease-free. You can't catch diseases that aren't there. Daniel and especially Jeff behave more recklessly in the earlier chapters -- they share their HIV-negative status quite early on, but not before initiating sexual contact -- and your criticism would be justified there.

rabbitfishrabbitfishalmost 12 years ago
You can get AIDS from Oral

This is a pet peeve of mine for two reasons. One, because I am one of those picky people who gets thrown out of the story every time something is inaccurate (unless it's deliberate fantasy). Two, because I am afraid that people will read stories like this and think that this is actual information about real sex. It's not. You can get AIDS and some other STDs from oral. In my mind there are two ways to go with this. Either write real safe sex scenes, or chuck out the idea of safe sex altogether and just put a note at the beginning of the story saying that you aren't going to use it in the story.

Other than that, love the story. Thanks so much.

brigid_Bearbrigid_Bearalmost 12 years ago
admiration

i dont usually say much, but as a reader i have to say how much i admire your talent and willingness to put yourself and your work out there for us to read.

My taste usually runs to outer space, vampires and fantasy, but this is a story that has gotten under my skin...as for the one consistantly hateful reviewer, i think the others have covered it much better than this old lady could, except for saying bite me and if you are possesed of such superior knowledge of story telling, where are your stories db...

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