When I got a look at the script Sal gave me, I about died. I marched right into his office the next day, seething with righteous indignation.
"What the fuck?" I threw the script on his desk. "I'm not doing this."
Sal smiled, shark-like. "You'll do what the fuck I tell you, ya fucking fag."
"Shut your yap." Sal stood up. His lumpy bald head almost brushed the ceiling. He glowered at me. "Filming for Bad Medicine started this morning. And you're late. You get your queer ass over to wardrobe right the fuck now, an' I better not hear no more complaints from you."
I started to protest. Sal frowned, puckering his unibrow. I shut up, snatched up my script, and backed out the door.
Salazar Domingo was owner and chief scriptwriter for Domingo Productions. Six-foot eight of massively muscled, butt-ugly brute. He scared the bejesus out of me. Word on the street was he got booted out of the New Jersey mob for being queer. I could believe he'd been some mob boss's muscle. I'd seen the messy results of a mere actor like me disagreeing with him. That's the main reason I try not to.
I sulked my way down the hall from Sal's office to wardrobe, feeling sorry for myself. How the hell did I go from carefree college student to actor in the worst gay porn films ever made?
"Greed, Jimmy," I muttered to myself. "Greed and curiosity. Stupid, stupid, stupid."
I tried to nip that line of thought in the bud. No use dwelling on it. Of course, whenever you try not to think about something, it automatically hijacks your brain. So I thought about it, for about the fifty-thousandth time. Wallowing in self-pity never actually helped, but it did make me feel better.
My boyfriend was the one who'd told me about the auditions for a gay porno by a new studio that had just opened here in Atlanta. That was nearly a year ago. If I'd known he'd not only get me stuck in this crap outfit, but dump me as well, I'd have kicked his overly swishy ass. At the time, though, I was pretty strapped for cash, and the idea of being in a movie, even a porno, was tempting. I could do one film, earn enough to pay the next semester's tuition, and forget about it. Domingo Productions obviously wasn't a big player, so the odds of anyone I knew getting hold of the film were remote.
How we delude ourselves when we're broke, huh? I should've known when I first met Sal that he'd have me by the balls one way or another. I could've sworn the contract I signed didn't say anything about more than one film. But when I refused to do a second, Sal pointed right at the clause that said, plain as day, that I agreed to make a total of twenty films for Domingo Productions. Twenty, I kid you not. I still don't know how the hell he did it. What a way to learn you should always keep a copy of the contract.
Sal's demanding schedule eventually forced me right out of school. It pissed me off beyond belief that I had to quit college to star in pornos. Maybe if I had sucked (so to speak) in the first one, Sal wouldn't have made me do more. Unfortunately, I exhibited a talent for sucking cock and getting fucked up the ass, and looking good while doing it. So Sal not only roped me into more of his mind-bogglingly awful films, but he made me star in them, too.
Damn my exquisite good looks and enormous cock, anyhow. Ha.
Wardrobe was packed with people in various states of undress, smoking and talking while they got their make-up and costumes on. Someone had put Placebo on the CD player, adding to the chaotic atmosphere. I squirmed my way through the press of bodies toward the sour-faced old woman who distributed the costumes.
"Hi, Harriet. You're looking lovely today." I gave her a sunny smile.
She grunted. "Whatcha got?"
I looked down at the grubby papers in my hand. "Jack Auf," I told her. I managed to keep a straight face, too. Go me.
Harriet's permanent scowl didn't budge. She handed me a thin hospital gown made of blue cloth. "This is for the exam scene. What you got on'll do for the other scenes."
I took the gown. At least I didn't see any visible come stains, which in this outfit is saying something. "Harriet, you're a robot, aren't you? C'mon, you can tell me."
She raised her eyebrows and grunted twice, the corner of her mouth twitching just a little. For her, that was raucous laughter. I grinned at her and headed over to get my make-up done. At least that wasn't going to be much, thank God.
I waved at my friend Derek across the room. He waved back and tottered over, swaying precariously in white stiletto heels. His shaved, stocking-clad legs stuck out from under a white nurse's dress that barely covered his ass. A nurse's cap perched on top of his head. His shoulder-length hair was dyed bright red and styled into an honest-to-God Jackie O flip. Blobs of spunk clung to his hair and face. I couldn't help laughing, he looked so ridiculous.
"Ha fuckin' ha, Jimmy." He glared at me.
"Sorry." I put on my best fake serious face. "I'm betting you're in Bad Medicine too, huh?"
"Yeah. Just got done sucking off the doctor." Derek snorted. "I swear, these things are getting worse by the day. You read the whole script yet?"
"Yeah. Bigger piece of crap than usual, even."
"No kidding. So what's your part?"
His dark eyes glittered with amusement. He already knew—he just wanted me to have to say it. Bastard.
"Jack Auf," I said between gritted teeth.
Derek howled with laughter. I waited patiently for him to calm down. It took a few minutes.
"You done?" I crossed my arms and scowled at him.
"For now." He grinned. "Hey, I'm Nurse Cocks, for fuck's sake. We've all got dumb-ass porno flick names, Jimbo. Don't let it bug you. At least you don't have to wear a fucking dress."
He wandered off. I sat and pouted while the girl with all the jewelry in her face did my make-up. When she was finished, I studied myself in the mirror. I looked fucking amazing. Not for the first time, I wondered what the hell she was doing here. She was way too good for this shit-hole outfit. The make-up she'd put on me was subtle, but it turned my plain blue eyes aqua and gave my normally ghostly skin a golden glow. With my hair falling in shiny black spirals around my face and neck, I looked awfully damn pretty. I stuck my tongue out at my reflection, then got up to make room for the next actor in line.
We had about half of the no-sex scenes done by mid-afternoon. It only took an hour to get done with the set-up scene for the first exam. God, it sucked bad. The writing, the set, the costumes, everything. It all sucked big, hairy donkey balls. I mean, come on, who the hell goes to the doctor because they can't feel their prostate? But this is what Sal The Script Writer expected an audience to swallow. So to speak. It was all I could do to get through the scene without rolling my eyes and/or cracking up.
The only thing that didn't suck was the guy playing Dr. Dick Johnson. Damn, he was hot. Long, dark brown hair tied in a ponytail, great big stormy gray eyes, lips just like Brad Pitt's. And not even the long white lab coat could hide that ripped body. No beer gut hung over those navy blue dress slacks. And something told me he wouldn't act like he'd rather be watching the Braves lose the World Series while he was fucking me. I found myself wondering what he'd looked like not so long ago, with Derek's lips wrapped around his cock.
After the scene wrapped, he came up to me, smiling like a used car salesman, grabbed my hand and pumped it hard. I smiled back, a little overwhelmed by his energy.
"Great scene, man," he enthused. "Really, really great."
I gaped at him. "You've got to be kidding me."
He laughed. "Well, yeah. Sucked, didn't it?"
"You know it. Everything but us. We rocked, dude." I stuck my hand out. "Jim Holderman."
"Todd Jerome." He took my hand and we shook. "And if you ever call me Manley, I'll hurt you."
We both laughed. The director, George, had introduced us by our screen names. He always did that. It annoyed the crap out of everyone. I'd always thought my screen name was the worst I'd ever heard. Billy Boner, can you believe that? Sal's idea, of course. He came up with all of them. But Todd's left mine in the dust. I think it's a testament to my acting abilities that I did not collapse into hysterical laughter when George introduced 'Manley Tool'.
"You just start here?" I started pulling off my clothes, to change into the hospital gown. No dressing rooms on set. Classy, huh? "I haven't seen you around before."
"This is my first film with Domingo. I did a couple out in California before I moved here."
"Seriously? Don't take this wrong, but why aren't you still out there? That's where the biggest studios are. I mean, like, real movie studios, not porno ones."
"Yeah. But I didn't want to work for those. I like doing pornos. Just couldn't keep up with the cost of living on what I made, so I moved back here."
Those smoky eyes watched me as I stood there in my black Wal-Mart underwear. Looked to me like he appreciated the view. I flexed a little before slipping into that uber-sexy hospital gown. "So are you from here originally? You said you moved back here."
"Yep. Georgia boy, born and raised. You?"
"Sure enough. Lived in Atlanta all my life."
"Well, I guess that proves my theory that Georgia boys are the hottest." He gave me a smile that was downright filthy. My cock perked right up. I imagined Harriet naked and it slunk back down again. "Gotta say, Jim, I'm kind of looking forward to the exam scene."
He moved closer, and my underwear promptly got tighter. I thanked my lucky stars for that stupid gown. Who knew I could still get turned on from just a look? Surprise, surprise.
"Oh. Oh, yeah? Me too." I was going for cool, but it sounded more like desperate-for-cock.
"Good." He put a hand on my hip. Oh. Oh, damn. "Can't wait to play with your ass. I just came all over Derek's face, so I can work you for a long time before I have to come again."
Oh, sweet Jesus. My knees went all wobbly. "Um. Oh. Okay." Smooth, that's me.
He laughed. I couldn't blame him. Here I was, a porn actor with seven films under my belt, acting like a high school virgin.
I was immensely relieved to hear George yell for us to get on set. Just because I was about to get my ass probed in front of a room full of people and a couple of cameras didn't mean I wanted everyone to know how easily Todd could turn me on.
"All right, Billy," George said. "Get up on the table there. Manley, you're entering stage right, okay?"
"Got it." Todd winked at me and headed off to the sidelines while I hopped up on the paper-covered exam table. It looked like a real one. I wondered idly where the hell they'd found it. A stagehand brought me a tube of Astro-Glide, and I lubed up while the crew scrambled into place.
"All right," George yelled. "You boys know the script. Let's get this done, I gotta meet my girlfriend for dinner in an hour and a half." He held up a hand. The room went quiet. Or as quiet as it ever got. "And. Action."
I put on my Concerned Patient face and clasped my hands together in my lap, knees demurely together and ankles crossed. Todd opened the door in the set wall and came strolling towards me. Goddamn, that man could move. I thought frantically of quadratic equations, and my dick deflated again. Not yet, I told it. Behave. It refused to promise me anything.
"Jack Auf?" Todd said, keeping his serious face on and ignoring the snickering of the crew. "I'm Dr. Johnson."
He held his hand out. I shook it. "Hi, doctor. Thank you for seeing me on such short notice."
"Nurse Cocks said you sounded very worried on the phone."
He smiled a dazzling smile at me. I smiled back, trying to make it sexy the way the script said rather than the way it felt, which was just goofy.
"Now what seems to be the problem?" Todd sat down on the rolling stool and peered at me in fake professional concern.
"Well, doctor," I said, "It ... it's a little embarrassing, actually."
He put a hand on my knee, rubbing his thumb in slow circles. I didn't think that was in the script. "No need to be embarrassed. I'm a doctor. You can tell me."
Todd actually made that line sound sexy. Damn.
"Okay." I leaned forward a little. "I can't get any pleasure from my prostate. I know it's supposed to feel really good when it's stimulated, but I can't feel a thing."
Todd nodded. "I see."
"Is it serious, doctor?"
"I doubt it. But we'll need to do a thorough exam. Lie back on the table, and let's have a look."
I lay down with my hands behind my head. Todd snapped on a pair of latex gloves. He pulled my gown up, and then slid my underwear down over my hips.
"What are you doing now, doctor?" I said.
"If we are to solve your problem, we need to find out what sexually arouses you, and what doesn't." He picked up my dick in one gloved hand and gave it a tug, then lightly stroked the head with his thumb. "How does that feel?"
"Good." Which was true.
He rolled my balls in his fingers. "How about that?"
"Yes, that feels good too." Boy, did it ever.
"I see." He pulled my underwear the rest of the way off. "Spread your legs."
I did. He slipped a finger into my slicked-up asshole and wiggled it around. My cock liked that a lot.
"How about that?" he asked. "Does that feel good?"
"Oh, yeah," I moaned. Good thing that's what the script said, because I couldn't help it. "Feels real good."
"Your hole is way too tight. We need to loosen it up." He pulled his finger out of my butt and hit the fake intercom button. The cheapo wall nearly fell over. "Nurse Cocks, could you come in here, please? Bring the anal loosening kit."
I bit the insides of my cheeks to keep from cracking up. George gave me a fierce frown. I ignored George, and made a scared-but-turned-on face for the camera.
Derek came swaying through the door, carrying a black plastic doctor's bag that may as well have had Fisher-Price stamped on the side. He smirked at me when he saw how hard I already was. I glared at him.
"Here's the kit, doctor." Derek held up the bag.
"Thank you, nurse. Please help Mr. Auf get in position."
Derek winked as he bent down over me. "Just slide down toward the end of the table, okay?"
"Okay." I slid down until my ass almost hung over the edge. My gown rode up to my armpits. Derek slid it up my arms, leaving it wrapped around my wrists.
It's usually a huge chore for me to get it up for these scenes, but the mental image of myself naked on the table with my arms essentially bound above my head made my crotch ache. Probably because it was Todd about to "examine" me, and Todd flipped every fucking switch I had.
"All right," Todd said. "Let's get you spread. Feet in the stirrups."
I put my feet in the stirrups Todd had unfolded from the end of the table. He and Derek adjusted them to open my legs wide. I looked down my body. My cock had already oozed a little puddle of pre-come into my belly button. Usually getting it up was the problem for me. This time, it looked like holding off orgasm might be the problem. George would kill me if I fucked up the money shot.
"Nurse," Todd said from his spot between my legs, "put the cock ring on him."
"Yes, doctor." Derek pulled a black leather cock ring out of the bag. He slipped it down my shaft, pulled my balls through, and adjusted the fit to the perfect snugness.
I had to swallow a couple of times before I could say the next line. "What's that for, doctor?"
"To keep you hard until I complete my examination. You can't come until we find out what activities give you sexual pleasure."
"I understand. What will you do to me now?"
"I'm going to stretch your asshole," Todd said, his Doctor Voice dead perfect in spite of the lustful shine in his eyes.
I licked my lips, making the movement slow and sensuous. "Will it hurt?"
"A little." He held out a hand toward Derek. "Ass spreader, please, nurse."
Derek took something that looked like a cross between a socket wrench and an apple corer out of the black bag, squirted a big blob of lube on it, and handed it to Todd. I stared at the thing. My cheeks went hot.
Todd's big, pretty eyes stayed locked on my face as he slowly pushed the curved metal into my ass. It felt weird: cold, and heavy, and bigger than it looked. He did something I couldn't see. The thing expanded. I let out a little gasp at the sharp, hot stretch.
"Do you like having that spreader up your ass?" Todd did the whatever-it-was again. The thing expanded more, and I moaned loudly. "Does it feel good?"
"Ah, yeah. Open my ass." Christ, how cheesy is that? I didn't give a fuck. I probably would've said it anyhow.
Todd gave me a big, lustful grin. George didn't scream bloody murder, so I figured the camera must be on my hole. Probably a tight close-up. Not that I was thinking that clearly. Especially when Todd stuck a couple of fingers in me and gently massaged my prostate. Instinct took over, and I writhed on the table, hips lifting up, trying to find some friction.
"Cut!" George stood up from his chair, red-faced and frowning. "Billy, you're not supposed to feel it, you moron!"
It actually took me a second to realize he was talking to me. After a year of being Billy Boner, I normally answered to Billy as easily as I did to Jim. Funny how one insanely hot man could make me forget my own fake name.
"Yeah," I gasped. "Sorry."
George grunted. "Again! Places! And ... action!"
Todd stuck his fingers in my ass again, finding the little gland easily. Bastard. He didn't have to do that—he just liked watching me squirm. This time I managed to keep my reactions in check.
"Do you feel that?" Todd asked, serious as a fucking heart attack. Damned if he wasn't actually a pretty good actor.
"N-no," I stammered. Any idiot could tell I did. Fuck it. Anyone who expects high quality acting in a porno deserves what they get.
"Hmmm." Todd's brows drew together. He pulled his fingers out of me, then tugged the "ass spreader" out too. "I think your problem is that your prostate isn't sensitized. It hasn't been switched on, for lack of a better expression."
God, what a load of crap. I didn't give a fuck, for once.
"What can I do?" I managed to sound coherent. Hell, I thought, I can be a pretty goddamn good actor too, sometimes. Who knew?
"What I think we should do," Todd said, "is try to make your prostate more sensitive. We can do that right now."
"The anal loosening kit contains several instruments which should be helpful. At the same time, Nurse Cocks and I will stimulate you in other ways. That should send the message to your prostate to switch on and make you feel sexual pleasure. It will probably take several sessions to get to that point. When you can come just from getting fucked in the ass, we'll know we succeeded."
I gave him my best seductive look. "And how do we find that out, doctor?"
"Well, it will be my duty as your doctor to fuck your ass until you come."
Oh, boy. My cock didn't give a shit that it was a stupid porno movie line. It promptly swelled even more.
Derek nudged my hip. I looked up at him, feeling dazed and stupid. Line, he mouthed at me, cutting his eyes to George. Oh, yeah—I was supposed to be saying something.
"Um. Yeah, doctor. Make my ass feel good."
Derek snickered under his breath. I didn't, for once. I'd uttered too many variations on that line to count, but this was the first time I meant it. The thought of Todd sticking sex toys up my butt made my skin feel tight and tingly.
Todd's latex covered hands spread my ass cheeks wide. "Your hole looks a little looser now," he said. "Nurse, hand me the smallest dildo."
"Yes, doctor." Derek pulled a slender, bright blue dildo out the bag. He winked at me as he handed it to Todd. I discreetly flipped him off.