Barbie and Ken, Sitting in a Tree

I want to touch on gender naturalizations. From as far back as a girl can remember she has always dreamed of how her wedding will be. She knows where it will be, what type of dress she will wear, what flowers she will carry and depending on the guy, who she will marry. Barbie and Ken were our examples of what and who we wanted to marry. (Note: Barbie and Ken are not to be discounted if our parents were/are our perfect examples)

From the time a male child can remember however, the reinforcements and views on marriage are presented in a different perspective. Boys are exposed to adult men saying getting married is forever being with "the ole ball and chain" or presented as being "caught" by a woman (at least by america standards). When and if these things are carried into their teen years, boys will begin to view their female peers in the same way - seeing them as an object rather than a potential mate.

When two people do get married, it is often the woman who does the majority of the planning, with the help of those females who nurtured her dreams of a perfect wedding as a child. While the male may have some input, it has been taught to him to allow her to make the choices since he has already "done the hard part" by proposing.

And whose responsibility is it to make the money? Traditionally, it has been taught that the man works to support the family, to make the money and to provide for a family. It has also been a traditional thought that a woman's role is to be submissive and passive, and allow the male to make all decisions. Granted, more and more women are becoming independent and self sufficient, but there are still those women who are taught to marry for protection, stability and in some cases wealth that a "good match" can make.

While some woman are expected by society to be married for these reasons, men marry for the definition of being "settled". The disadvantage of this is that women have not learned to completely live and breath on their own without a male counterpart (And, this is not to say this is for all women. Just some).

It's also interesting to see the gender roles develop in children according to who raises them. If a male is raised in an ALL female environment, they often grow up to be more sensitive, caring, giving, emotionally unstable (as a woman can sometimes become) and "softer". And in the opposite case, if a female grows up in an ALL male environment, she will most likely be a tomboy, insensitive, selfish and "rough" (this is to say only in a comparison of what men and women have been classified as "normal" behavior).

Children are taught what to like, I believe. Meaning, as a girl child I was taught to love dresses, pink things, pretty bows and nail polish. I was taught these things because I was a girl and that was what I was expected to like. Had I been a boy I would have been taught to love Tonka trucks, mud, baseball and bogies.

This is both advantageous and disadvantageous because children should be exposed to things that are both feminine and masculine. It makes the child more comfortable with both sexes as they grow up and will define them more. It IS okay for females to crash hot wheels into legos and its okay for males to play with dolls.

Another way to define the roles is how females and males behave sexually. Women are taught to be flirty, sexy, outgoing and fun - but never sleep with a man before marriage and never on a first date. Men on the other hand are taught to be aggressive, loud and have a "Go get 'em, you devil" attitude - but are expected to sleep with as many women as possible before marriage. This is a disadvantage for women because if they DO sleep with a man in a short period of time they are viewed as promiscuous while the male "scores". Its a complete double standard that is expected and tolerated.

The traditional gender roles are still being used with a few exceptions to the rule. There is nothing wrong with raising a child with the traditional roles they will play in society, but it would be more beneficial if they were taught to be a little more diverse in what is considered "traditional" and normal.