Bare Bottom Resorts Ch. 08byMy Erotic Tale©
The stories in the "Celebrity" section of Literotica are all fictional parodies - none are true, nor are they approved of by the celebrities named in the stories. Authors write these fictitious stories about famous people for the same reason that Larry Flynt made fun of Jerry Falwell, because they can. The Supreme Court of the United States, the country where this site is located, has ruled that parodies involving famous people are perfectly and totally legal under the United States Constitution. The specific case law on this was decided in the case of "Hustler Magazine, Inc. et al. v. Jerry Falwell" in 1988. No harm is intended toward the celebrities featured in these stories, but they are public figures and in being so, they must accept that they are fair target for parodies by the public. We believe in the first amendment, and more broadly, in the basic principle of free speech and this section may push the boundaries of that principle, but the United States Supreme Court has approved of this type of material. We believe that the Supreme Court was correct in their decision.
(Bare Bottom Resorts: Chain Stories~
Thanks to those who have written a Chapter/story and to those still posting additional chapters. Feel free to join our write and I hope you get a chance to enjoy all our tales.)
Nude Day Party at Canyon Curves Resort
Colorado River, California
"How would you like to see President George W. Bush naked? That's right the little prick with big balls will be here today with Mrs. Bush showing off her bush. For Bare Bottom Resort's Third Annual Nude Day Festival, right here at the Canyon Curves Resort. I am Dickey Dunkin your Host and this is Bambi Willing your Host-less."
"Hi everyone!" Bambi waved at the gathering crowd from center stage of the outdoor pavilion on the resort's grounds. Her cute smile and blonde hair set atop naked curves of seduction.
Dickey is known as the 'King of Nudity,' a porn star with nothing on but a bow tie, the standard uniform attire of the Resorts employees. The crowd whistled and cheered as the band behind Dickey and Bambi tuned up their guitars and the drummer rounded a few rolls.
"Okay, behind us we have the house band, The Fucking Finger Pickers!" The crowd set a round of applauds for the band. "And ... and we will be graced with the presence of ... none other than ... the one ... the only ... Cher!" Dickey held his hand over the microphone and leaned towards Bambi and whispered. "What is her last name?"
"I don't know!" Bambi shrugged, Dickey nodded.
"I got you babe ... I got you babe ... I got you babe, by the balls babe, You know, Cher with out the boner." The audience clapped.
The Hotel hadn't a vacancy, it was full of registered guests for the up-coming events. A sold out crowd for the small El Diablo Pavilion in the Colorado River Canyon. Sound echoed with acoustic perfection off the canyon walls, making this location a hot spot for secluded and elite get togethers by the rich and naked.
"Also we have ... let me see if I can get this right." Dickey was reading from his cue card. "Pickle Pecker Picking Joking! I hope I said that right. A Comedian out of Southern California and he is here to make you laugh. With that being said ... let the Nude Day Festivities begin."
The band rallied into a loud guitar note then a easy basic beat followed. The crowd, which consisted of mostly guests, began chattering and socializing. Some grabbed a partner and began dancing. The entire audience conformed to the resorts main rule: NO CLOTHES ALLOWED. Swinging breasts and swaying cocks started doing a bare butt boogie on the hard wood floor.
Dickey and Bambi went back stage while the band played their opening set. The two went straight to the room offered as a dressing room that they shared. Dickey bolted through the door disgruntled as always.
"I hate these bow ties. They are so fucking tight." He pulled his tie from his neck and slung it on his make up table. "I am not a side show commentator, I am a ...STAR! Why does Cher get the Star dressing room? I am the King of Nudity! She is a Singer!"
"You're a Porn star, She is an Actress, a Diva ... you are a ... Dickey." Bambi spat then snickered as she sat gingerly into her chair and twirled around toward the mirror and began powdering her nose.
"What are you powdering your nose for? No body looks at your nose. Powder your nipples now those are getting the looks. I am the Host, You are the Hostess and don't you forget it!"
"Dick!" Bambi mumbled.
"What?" He blurted. Just then a knock came at the door.
"Come in!" Dickey yelled, while looking at Bambi, "What? It's not like the whole world hasn't seen us naked!"
Two ladies with huge smiles and note pads with pens came bubbling in nude. "Mr. Dunkin would you sign my autograph book?" A voluptuous vixen asked with an idol fan look on her face.
"Sure." Dickey took the autograph book and scribbled his name. Then took the other ladies book from her hand and scribbled in her pad as well. "Well now aren't you a cutie." Dickey clicked into his sleek one minute try and fire mode. "Well, look at what we have here. My pecker is rising to the occasion ladies. What are we going to do about this. I can't go back out on stage with a hard on, now can I?"
"No!" The ladies looked at each other and giggled. They glanced at Dickey's ten-inch Dick. Lips got licked just before his dick did.
"Oh my god. Does that always work?" Bambi asked while powdering her tits.
"Yes," Dickey said with a huge smile and a ten-inch porn star hard on. Two lovely and hungry ladies devouring his manhood. Like two suckling calves they milked his muscle.
The door swung open and the director of promotions stuck her head in the door wearing a head held microphone and a Com-ear-piece "Two minutes people," She looked at Dickey getting his blow-job, while Bambi got up and walked to the door. Her short high heel steps clacked almost as loud as the ladies sucking and slurping.
"Come on Minute man lets go," Bambi went out the door. Dickey began moaning and grasping heads with a firm grip. His body began surging wildly as he pumped his load to explode. The two girls were facial creamed and smiling. Licking the cum off of each other's chins and cheeks. Down the neck and they began kissing and getting into each other.
"I have to go ladies, thank you,." Dickey went out the door half-hard and dripping. His trail of white wet goo followed behind him as he stood at the curtain rim and got his composure. He felt for his tie to straighten it and remembered he had tossed it. His cock dripped a couple more times as he stood there.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, Lets here it for the Canyon Curves resort house band The Fucking Finger Pickers." The crowd cheered. "And now for our host. Mr. Dickey Dunkin. " The crowd rallied a cheer for the 'King of Nudity'.
Dickey walked up and took hold of the mic, "Thank you Bambi, Thank you, thank you, next we have a special treat. Let's put our hands together for Cher!" The crowd went wild. The curtain swung back and Cher started from behind the curtain and slipped. As if on a banana peel her feet went out from under her and she is now lying unconscious. "What the," Stage-Hands converged and they picked her up and carried her back stage.
Dickey cued the band and they began playing. He dashed back stage to see what was going on. The Star dressing room was filled with people, all naked and all huddled in the doorway, awaiting an outcome.
"What happen," Dickey asked Bambi.
"She slipped on something over there," Pointing to where Dickey had been standing. Dickey sank and headed to his dressing room. The two lovely lapping ladies were in wait for some more Dickey.
"Get out, get out now, please. Now!" Dickey yelled and the ladies huddled as they left. Bambi came in the door as they were coming out assuring them Dickey was having a crisis day. "But every day is crisis day with Dickey."
"I'm ruined, I just know it. I hate this job ... you know we were filming along the canyon yesterday and while I was fucking Daisy for the new remake of the old version of 'Pussy like a Canyon # 49.' And a damn bee flew to my ass hole and actually was trying to get in my butt. I am sorry but I draw the line some where. How can I work under those conditions."
"We have been through worse. Cheer up, tomorrow's shoot is at the water falls." Bambi console Dickey.
"Oh that just reminds me of the Japanese garden scene and those giant gold fish trying to mate with my meat. I swear if those fish could have gotten out of the water, they would have raped me." Dickey wiped the snot off his cock and looked around for a napkin
The door to their dressing room opened and a man walked in and looked all around. "Excuse me, may I help you." Dickey blurts as the man opened the door and in walked the president. George W. Bush in the nude.
"How ya doin," Mr. Bush said as he came in the room and looked around. "Mr. Dunkin, I am a big fan of yours," Mr. Bush said as he extended his hand to Dickey who instinctively reached a hand back and the two men shook.
The sticky goo was way to obvious the President pulled his hand back and observed the substance then looked around for something to wipe his hand with.
"Lucky I am not wearing any clothes, I wouldn't want this DNA showing up on my suite." Mr. Bush frowned but laughed it off.
"It's a nudist colony, no clothes anywhere and no napkins for that matter... oh, here we go." Dickey handed Mr. Bush the hand towel, after a quick wipe himself.
The door bolted open and the director stuck her head in. "Lets go, no time ...oh...Hi Mr. President."
Bambi was entranced, mumbling, "The President of the United States standing right here, naked." Her eyes were on the brains of the man.
"I need to keep a low profile. The Mrs. and I will hang out back stage, this was her idea, she's in there with Cher now, No telling what those two woman are up to."
"Lets go, sorry Mr. President but the show must go on." The director said while pointing at Dickey. Looking down the Presidential Jewels.
Dickey and Bambi were out the door and back on stage. With a small side step at the sticky, slick area, at the curtain rim.
Dickey took the mic in hand, "Happy Nude Day, are we having fun yet?" The crowd responded with yells and shouts of gayety. The gathering was full of naked people at tables and booths of all ages and sexes. The elderly were just and anxious as the young as they all mingled. A sea of breasts, cocks, ass and eyes.
"Okay, Ladies and Gentlemen, Cher will not be singing tonight. She slipped a few moments ago as you may have seen as she was coming ... just moments ago. 'BUT' She is fine."
The audience cheered. "Bambi and I, on behalf of the Bare Bottom Resorts, here at Canyon Curves Resort, want to wish you all a very Happy Nude Day," the applauds were loud.
"It's not over," Dickey smiled and settled the crowds loud rumble. "No sir, we have for you the comedian, Pickle Pecker Picking Joker and after his comedy set, The Fucking Finger Pickers will play the rest of the night so you can dance your little moons off."
Bambi leaned in, "That's right Dickey," Her curves bent 'cheers' every time she moved.
"I am taking off my tie and settling into tonight's Festivities," Dickey reached up and felt his naked neck. "Oh I already have." He giggled. "Here is The Picking Pickled Pecker Picker. Good night and Happy Nude Day 2005." The crowd rallied as a man walked out on stage.
"Hello" the Picking Pickled Pecker Joker said.
The crowd yelled back in unison, "Hello!"
"My cock is like that of an Eskimo, see ...all shriveled up. Not like Dunkin Dickey, King of Nudity, now that man is hung like an elephant. I bet he blasts a load big enough to knock somebody off their feet." The Comedian scratched his ass, silently.
"My wife has this dog, a wiener dog. Nudist tend to have this Dachshund breed. And this animal loves our refrigerator. I mean literally. It lays in front of it all day and night. It has gnawed off the fridge handles. I went in the other day and "Dick" that's his name. Was propped up against the fridge with its front paws spread out and pressing it's self against the door. I called my wife and she came running,...right! Ten minutes later, when the soap had a commercial. Any way she walks into the kitchen and panics.
She yells, "Dial 911 twice it is an emergency."
"What is it?" I asked.
"Dick has eaten the refrigerator magnets and he is stuck to the door."
"Well if that's all it is she can clean up the mess and... she can decide which magnets she wants to keep."
"I was walking back stage awhile ago and this beautiful blonde came walking the other way. Now, I am a man. I looked, okay I am a desperate man, I looked a long time. In fact I looked so long and hard that my body was going one way while my eyes went the other and 'Bam' I ran right into the wall. Has this happened to anyone else? I hear it may be a reoccurring crisis at these resorts and... signs should be posted every where; ... keep your eyes on where you walk we are not liable for your 'Boinking'."
"Okay, I was picking pickled peckers one day for my sister, May! She got this name because she May one day but May not the next. But any way, I was picking pickled peckers for May and a thorn, in the pickled pecker patch had pricked me."
"It was more than a scratch, the vines and leaves gave me the itches. I got to scratching in the pickled pecker patch and that's when it spread. Like a swollen head. I was scratching my ass, my cock, my face, my arms. I started to get alarmed. Cause I had to Pee. There in the pickled pecker patch. Well, that itch spread and I wasn't laughing all the way to the hospital. Seems that I had gotten a case of poison sumack and that ended that Pickled Pecker Picking day."
"What's the moral of this story? Let your sister pick her own dildo, dog gone cucumbers. Good night ya'll! Ya'll been great," the crowd clapped and the band geared up. "Oh, yeah, one more thing, Bare Bottom Resorts, wishes you a Happy Nude Day 2005!"
The 2005 Nude Day Festival at Canyon Curves Resort went on into the naked night and rolled into a bare bright dawn. As an Observer, I give the party 'Two Thumbs Up' but a foot note, my recommendation: not to hire 'The King of Nudity' that is like putting the Star of India on Display and scattering the tiny carrots below. I enjoy my employment with Bare Bottom Resorts. And I am ready for my next assignment.
Will B. Hard
(My Erotic Tale)