As always, here's my disclaimer! This story is *gasp* NOT fantasy based! Yes, it's true! No vampires and wereleopards or angels and demons in this story! For those of you who are familiar with my fantastical work, please, give this one a fighting chance! Hopefully you'll enjoy it as much as I loved writing it. This is a full fledged story, romance and love with a tiny bit of pain play tossed in. If you are looking for a piece in quick porn, please move on to a story more suited. If you're looking for a well thought out piece of fiction - step into my office!
The green heart shape candy made a rather satisfying crunch when crushed between Zach's teeth.
Zach gave a little snort, and then popped the pink candy into his mouth, following it with another resounding crunch.
"Yea right." He growled out, tossing the white heart across the room angrily.
See, it hadn't been long since Zach had thought all of those things had applied to a certain some one. A certain some one, who was unable to keep his dick in his pants while Zach went away to college.
Yea, Peachy. At least that's what Zach thought when he'd come home for Christmas break only to find his high-school sweetheart shacked up with the red-headed Chess Club President.
Zach had to admit, the boy didn't look like any Chess Club President any more.
But that was beside the point!
Eric had been Zach's, and Zach's alone. They'd discovered their sexuality together, they'd made love together for the first time, they'd love each other, and they'd been inseparable, unbreakable!
Or so he'd though.
It had been a hard break for Zach to accept, but he'd had the good fortune to be able to return to his dorm room, and his room mate Adrian who had been rather supportive of the whole thing.
Adrian wasn't gay, he dated woman, hell he flirted with anything that showed a bit of cleavage, but when it came to Zach and his sexuality, the guy just couldn't be more open and understanding. He'd done everything but go beat the hell out of Eric, and had Zach allowed it, he's certain the other young man would have given Eric a run for his money. But it hadn't been worth Zach's time. Adrian was so supportive, he'd even made efforts to get him out and about, and even trying to set him up with a gay friend of his or two, though Zach generally refused.
Both he and Zach had made it into school on sports scholarships, and while Adrian was larger then most guys, he couldn't compare to Zach in size. They were often teased by other team mates about Adrian being the bitch of their relationship. Both boys took the playful banter in stride.
What made it hard, for Zach at least, was that while Adrian was just trying to be the good friend his nature demanded, Zach's feelings were beginning to get a jumbled around. While he knew logically he hadn't a chance with his best friend, his heart was wishing for things he couldn't control. It was difficult, but Zach kept his feelings to himself, and just smiled at the banter of their teammates, gracefully denied the dates Adrian set up, and pretended that Adrian was as sexless as he possibly could.
"Hey, Zach," Adrian's voice was deep and rich, and there was always the sound of a smile lurking here and there. It made Zach's heart trip. He tried to ignore it. "Quit throwing them damn candies at my bed before I beat you." Adrian grumbled, closing the front door with his big toe, as both his hands were full. Placing the two coffee cups down on the table, he gave Zach a stern look. "It's been over four months, Zach. I know it's hard, but you gotta get over this. Because I don't think I can sleep in a candy infested bed any more." His tone was admonishing and playful, but he seemed to be a little worried.
Zach glared at his friend, then after a moment he sighed. If only Adrian was gay, then all would be right with the world. If Zack was being honest with himself he might admit his mooning over his ex was really a distraction from the unattainable love currently in his life. "Eh, fuck it." He grumbled, then picked up his coffee and sort of melted as he took his first sip. "Thanks for the coffee, Adrian." He murmured his thanks as his friend drop his athletic form into the chair opposite him.
"Welcome," he said, picking up one of the candies so Zach could see it. "U R Nice." He read aloud, and Zach's scowl deepened. He threw the little heart at Zach's chest, and picked up another one. "U R # 1" he read out again, "Jeezus, these things get worse every year. Where did you even find these things? Valentine's isn't for two months." Then tossed that one at Zach's chest too, picking up the next candy.
"A month and a half and a Specialty shop." Zach mumbled. He hated the candies, but he found himself morbidly fascinated with them. Zach just couldn't give them up.
"Aha, your obsession strikes again." Adrian replied. "EZ 2 Love" he read allowed, batting his eyelashes playfully at his depressed friend. That was about all Zack could take, and finally he cracked a smile and shook his head, kicking Adrian under the table.
"You love it."
Zach paused at the door to his shared room, staring at the envelope tapped to his door with the name Zach scrawled out in bold letters. He juggled his books, moved his arm and ripped the envelope off the door before pushing it open and dropping all his books on the table.
"Whatcha got?" Adrian asked from his place on his bed, seeing that Zach hadn't put down the letter with the rest of his daily learning equipment.
"I dunno some letter or something." Pulling out a chair, Zach sat down and turned the envelope in his hands before ripping it open. Inside, was a carefully hand written letter.
I've been watching you for months now, and have been considering how I should approach you, how I should let you know I care. I find myself watching you at odd moments, I'm present at all your games, and I can never keep my eyes from you. I know, this might sound strange, but I'm heart pounding, blood racing, tremble when you're close, in love with you.
Zach stared at the letter in his hands, then read it over and over and over again for about five minutes, until a very confused Adrian got up off his bed with a groan and snatched the letter out of Zach's hands. "What the fuck does it say? You look like some one shot your puppy!" he growled out, turning the paper so he could read it. "Whoa, fuck." Was all he said, clearing his throat.
"Uh huh." Zach mumbled, "Who the hell could it be?"
"Um, apparently S.A. Do you think it's a woman?" he asked suddenly, "Oh gods, I'm gonna laugh my ass off if it's a woman." Adrian's mirth was contagious, but still, Zach didn't know how to react.
"I bet your right, I bet you it is a woman, but I can hope it's a boy, can't I?" Adrian chuckled at the wistfulness of his friend's words, and then dropped the letter back down to the table.
"Hey, you can hope anything you want bud. It's a nice letter; maybe they'll send you more. I know if I was in you're shoes I'd be looking everywhere at our next game."
"Yea, I will be." I'll be looking, but it will be at you. Zach carefully folded up his letter, trying to shove that thought out of his mind, then pulled a small box out from in his bedside table, his "special box." Setting the letter inside with his other valuables he closed the lid with a quiet sigh, and then turned to his studies while Adrian watched him covertly, a smile tugging at his lips.
It went like this for the next few weeks, every day; a new letter would show up, folded, with words of how much the person apparently cared for Zach.
I saw you at practice today and my heart beat so hard I was sure you could hear it over the sounds of the game. Sometimes when you look my direction, I imagine that you are looking at me, thinking of me, but I know that it's just a fantasy. I hope my letters haven't made you uncomfortable, but I just cant keep my feelings in any longer, I love you, I wish I had the courage to tell you who I was, but I'm afraid you wont care about me like I care about you. It's that fear that keeps me away, that fear that has my stomach all tied up in knots.
So I'll content myself to writing you these little notes. I love you, Zach, I dream of you.
"Fuck, another one." Zach flopped down on the couch beside Adrian, handing the note over to his friend without looking at him. Burying his hand into Adrian's popcorn he began to munch as his friend read the letter over with a low whistle.
"Dreaming of you, oh man this person is head over heals for you." Adrian muttered, "What're you gonna do, bud?"
"Well what can I do?" Zach sighed, "It's not like I can ring em up on the phone and ask him out for dinner. That's assuming he's a man. I mean, shit, what if it really is a woman?" Zach said, and then rubbed his eyes with a low groan. "Worst thing is, I'm beginning to feel a little... I don't know, I kinda want to meet this person now. The poetry in the letter yesterday, honestly it melted my heart, I want to know this person one way or another." Since I can't have you, Zach finished silently
Adrian chuckled, arching an eyebrow as he handed back the letter, "You're totally into him! I mean, in all honesty it probably IS a man, you're not exactly in the closet, I'm guessing it's not a woman. Of course, if it is a woman maybe that's why she's afraid that you won't want her if she comes out directly."
Zach made another soft groan, his head falling back against the couch with a mumble, "You're not helping matters, Adri!" he snapped, "I feel like I'm going nuts, half in love with this person, and what if I find I can't stand to physically touch them? Jeezus this is awful." Zach turned his head, looking at his friend for a moment, if only the mystery writer could be half the man his roommate and best friend was, but that was far too much to ask for.
"Quit mooning over me, gonna make my heart go all aflutter." He said coyly, eyelashes batting in that playful way of his.
Zach tried to hide a blush.
"Eh, fuck you, bitch. You're not half as perfect as you think." He teased.
"You know you want this perfect ass of mine."
"You wish." Zach reached out to grab a lock of Adrian's curly blond hair, giving it a tug. "You're just itching to have my man-meat, I can just tell by that hungry look in your eyes."
"Oh ICK! You're going to make me sick before my date tonight!" Adrian groaned, giving a tremble and making an exaggerated look of horror.
"Oh, wounded, my heart! My aching wounded heart!" Zach covered his left breast with both hands, making calf-eyes at his friend, then bust up laughing with a small shake to his head. "Go get ready for your date, who's this one?" he asked with a grin.
"Saaandy." Adrian drew her name out with a little grin, "Hot little number with all that beautiful red hair. Yeesh, I've been trying to get at her for months, finally caved to my devilish charm like all females do." Adrian blew on his fingernails then buffed them on his shirt, smirking.
"Well, have fun." Zach grabbed a pillow and lay down on his half of the couch, eyes locked on the movie, his mind however on his strange mystery lover and Adrian. He fantasized that they were one in the same, but reality was far too unkind to him for that.
"Will do!" Adrian said as he made his way towards the bathroom to get himself all prettied up. He was worse then a queen, of that Zach was absolutely certain.
Zach woke to Adrian gripping his shoulder, "Bud, wake up." He slurred, and when Zach's head came up he got a whiff of his friend's tequila laden breath. "Zach I have to tell you something." He could barely speak.
Sitting up in bed, Zach rubbed his eyes sleepily and gave a good natured grumble, "What? Need condoms? Christ man, its two o'clock in the morning."
Adrian looked confused as Zach fumbled in his bedside table for the condoms he kept there. "No," he slurred, one hand coming out to bat away Zach's arm, then felt its way up to his shoulder and gave him a little shake. "I don't needa condom. She went home hours 'go." He mumbled.
"Man, Adri, you better keep your breath away from open flames." Zach wheezed, his eyes watering at the burning scent of liquor.
"I know who it is." Adrian muttered beneath his breath, giving a low groan, "I know who S.A is, Zach..." he stammered, "Ya wan' me ta tell you?"
Zach froze, squinting at his friend, his insanely drunk friend who was near tumbling from the edge of his bed because he couldn't sit up straight. Adrian's hand still clung to Zach's shoulder, and it moved to the back of his neck, gripping his nape as he leaned in to press his mouth in a drunken kiss that rocked Zach's world on top of its head. He couldn't believe Adrian was kissing him, and after a moment he moaned and slid his hand up to those perfect blonde curls, clutching his hair in a loose fistful. The kiss went on for a moment, then Zach force himself to break it.
"Adri?" he asked, a little breathless and more then a little stunned. His friend gave him a roguish lopsided grin, then his eyes rolled back into his skull and he pitched forward, passing out cold in Zach's lap.
Zach didn't move, not for a long drawn out moment. He could hear Adrian's breathing loud in the dark silence of the room, his heart pounding in his chest, and his cock twitching beneath the sheets, but he still couldn't believe this was real. Carefully, he pulled Adrian more fully into the bed with him, drawing the covers up and watching his peacefully sleeping face for a long, long time until finally sleep crawled its way through his skull to drag him down into sweet beautiful oblivion.
When Adrian woke, the first thing he noticed was a pounding in his skull so awful he groaned. The second thing he noticed was the warm body beside him in bed, and the thought that he might have slept with that woman Sandy caused him to groan anew. The body beside him shifted some, and Adrian couldn't force himself to open his eyes to see the woman he had undoubtedly fucked into a senseless stupor the night before. Christ his eyes hurt, his head hurt, his stomach hurt, oh hell, everything hurt.
"Mmm... Good morning, sleepyhead." The sound of the voice that greeted his ears was sleep-roughened and husky, and it somehow made him even sicker then the idea that Sandy had been in bed with him. Adrian's eyes opened with an almost audible snap, and when his eyes confirmed what his ears had heard, he felt the blood drain from his face and wondered what he'd done.
"Did we, I mean, what the, um... why...? Why am I in your bed?!" He choked out, his stomach knotting and heaving slightly. "Oh gods... why am I in your bed?" he realized after a moment that his eyes had closed again and his hands were covering his face, so he slowly pulled his hands down and peeked over them at Zach, then wished he hadn't.
"Don't worry, I didn't take advantage of your tequila soaked brain." Zach snapped, tossing the sheets and covers off of him and getting to his feet without another word. Adrian stared after him, mouth agape. The look in his friend's eyes had been horrified, it had turned from sexy sleepy to humiliated in a blink of an eye, and Adrian wished he could have taken back his words but he couldn't.
Getting out of bed he realized he was still totally and completely dressed, which only made him feel worse. He should have thought before speaking, but he hadn't, and now he didn't know what to do. He walked to the bathroom door and knocked softly, "Zach?" he called out. "I didn't mean that how it sounded."
"Doesn't matter," came the voice from behind the door, and when it opened again a fully dressed and put together Zach stepped out, his wavy black hair neatly combed, and he pushed past his friend. "I have to get to class." He said, not meeting Adrian's eyes, then walked out without another word, leaving Adrian confused and uncertain and absolutely distraught.
He couldn't remember what happened the night before, he couldn't remember to save his life, he remembered going out to dinner, drinking wine with Sandy and then taking her to a club and getting shit faced. That's how he could stand to sleep with women. He didn't want anyone knowing he was gay, his father was a minister and that would ruin his family, absolutely ruin them. He had to keep up a good front. He absolutely had to stay in the closet even if that meant he'd never be happy.
But he was in love with Zach. Heartbreakingly in love with the man who was so open about who he was in every single last aspect of his life. Adrian had been in love with him for months, but hadn't wanted to infringe on the sacred first-love relationship he and Eric had had. However, when that ended, he could only take so much of his dearest friend moping about, and soon he found himself unable to stop writing the notes, the letters. He'll admit freely that at first the secret admirer letters were just a way of making Zach feel better. Zach needed to feel good about himself, really he did, but if he was being honest with himself Adrian knew that was just an excuse to get his true feelings out.
Sighing, Adrian rubbed a hand over his face, then rubbed at his aching temples with a soft groan. He couldn't do this, he couldn't be in love with a man. He needed to keep up his good name. Turning, he picked up the phone, punching in the numbers to Sandy's room. It rang three times, then she picked up.
"Hello?" Came her soft voice.
"Hey Sandy, it's me Adrian. I was wondering if you'd like to go out dancing tonight. There's a sweet little club downtown that is having a Salsa night, and I'd like nothing better then to take such a lovely lady with me."
"Sure! That sounds great, Adrian! What time you gonna pick me up?" she asked, sounding happy and pleased. Adrian's stomach roiled.
"I'll be there at six, take you to dinner and then get to the club early so we can enjoy ourselves." He told her.
"Wonderful, I'll see you tonight." She said, and he could hear her slightly breathless voice. Adrian would bet money she was blushing.
Saying their goodbyes, he hung up the phone and groaned inwardly once more before going to take a shower and ready himself for the day.
Zach experienced a moment of de-ja-vou as he fought his way out of unconsciousness as a result of some one shaking him. He opened his eyes and groaned, seeing Adrian leaning over him smelling like liquor and sex this time. Great. Just fucking great. "What do you want, Adri?" Zack groaned, then tried to roll over. Adrian wouldn't let him go, though.
"I love you." He slurred his words, "I'm S.A. I can't hide it any more, I need you." He stammered out, one hand cupping Zach's cheek as he gazed down into his beloved face. Zach nearly gagged from the smell of sex and woman all over his fingers, and one hand came up to push his arm away. "I love you. Tell me you love me." Adrian looked so out of it, and clearly he didn't remember the previous evening's admittance, which would explain his reaction upon waking.
Zach threw the covers off of him and got to his feet, dragging Adrian up with him without a single word. "Where are we going? Please tell me you love me, I love you so much." Tears streamed down Adrian's face, and Zach wanted to smack him for being an angsty drunk, but he didn't, instead he drew him towards the bathroom, pushed him into the shower and turned on the cold water.
A shout tore free of Adrian's throat, but it had the desired effect as his eyes almost immediately cleared from the shock. "What the fuck was that for!?" he screamed up at Zach, who stood with arms folded over his bare broad chest gazing down at him. "I tell you I fucking love you and you throw me in a cold shower?"