Being a Novice & Secretive Writer

In June 2006 I wrote my very first story for Literotica, at the time, it was never intended to make its way into the public domain. Someone I met online sent me a very poorly written 'scene' for a roleplay they wanted to undertake with me on one of the many online dating sites you can find all over the place. At this point I was getting pretty tired of sleazy emails and the trash that was landing in my inbox, so, I sat down with his poorly written scene and turned it into my very first story and emailed it back to him; along with a sarcastic note.

A few weeks later, I, for reasons beyond me, showed my story to a friend and I wound up registering an account with Literotica and submitting it, not really thinking anything more would come of it.

There were two people in all the world at that stage who knew who this 'CornishBabe' was or anything about her. I wasn't really planning on writing anymore, it was a one off, a laugh.

A little while later, maybe a few weeks, I can't remember, I pulled out my laptop and my fingers started flying across the keys and before I really knew what was happening I had just produced my second ever story and submitted it alongside the first.

I think it was at this time I discovered that Literotica ran contests and I realised that enjoyed the writing. Before writing erotica I wrote poetry, which is probably why the bulk of my submissions to the site so far are poems. It was a personal hobby, wasted some time and has this far kept me out of trouble.

I get distracted, it was at this time that I realised that I liked writing erotica and that the Survivor Contest existed. Now, I know, there are probably better incentives to write and being as it was already July I really didn't think I would stand a chance at coming anywhere in a contest. But it was an incentive to keep writing, encouraged me to branch out a little and write a few pieces that I may not have written otherwise.

Upon entering the contest and submitting my third story to Literotica I found the courage to let a few more people know about it. A very small message in my online journal allowed those who were paying attention and who knew me online to seek me out and get a taste for what I was writing. Of course, none of them every really admitted to reading, apart from a select few, but I got a few comments I could easily trace back to them.

So far, no one in my real life, none of the people I live and work with on a daily basis know what I write. I haven't found a reason to broadcast the news. There will always be a select bunch, the people I don't often see, the people that I never see, the friends and acquaintances made online who know that I write, but not my closest of friends.

I think it is a self-preservation issue, it's my way of making sure that people can keep the image they have of who I am.

I have received comments in the past that my stories aren't quite realistic, that they make sex more glamorous or perfect than it really is. Right now, I wouldn't know. When I get around to finding out the truth maybe my writing will change to reflect that, but for now all I have to work with is a sometimes overactive imagination, and a massive resource of other stories for reference and research.

Those little red H's besides stories, they're what attract my attention when I'm looking for new ideas, new inspiration. I'll read those hot stories, the contest winning stories and the editor's picks all the while looking for clues, trying to find what made that particular story so loved and hope that one day, I'll be able to write something as good.

The thing I find with Literotica is that it provides this fantastic medium, where I can scribble and put it out there where people can either read it, or not. That doesn't stop me getting those butterflies in my stomach when I press the submit button on a new story. I wonder if it will get easier as I write more? Is there a number of submissions it takes before you stop feeling self-conscious when someone writes to you and says "That was the hottest thing I ever read, I'm so hard for you right now"? And do you ever get over that feeling of satisfaction when someone really takes the time to send you feedback that's well thought out and offers you a few suggestions along with what seems like a heartfelt note about how they like your style?

I've been writing for Literotica for about six or seven months now, and more and more am I reading and enjoying and truly appreciating the effort that some people must be putting in to what they are producing.

So what are my thoughts on being a novice and secretive writer for Literotica? It's a lonely game, but that is my own fault. Not really being able to bounce my ideas off people, crash test my stories with a refined group of close friends before sending them out there for people to read has made me believe in what I write more. It just takes guts to keep going.