If I felt good being with Jenifer it was all because of her and her devout love for me and her passion for life.
Every day being with my girl was a wonderful reoccurring trip to paradise, the way she greeted me, the way she awakened me and the way she whispered goodnight.
But then she was killed in the bomb blast in the London tube which was horrific, I was numbed and felt like the earth had caved in upon me - but in coming to terms with it - eventually I was consoled that she would have known nothing, felt no pain and her broken body collected and buried for eternity.
Now I can still feel her in my dreams or whatever, it is like she is still there with me, consoling me and saying that she will wait for me to join her when the time is right, but in the meantime let us simply share a deep meditation together.
Being very sceptical about such things I would have once rejected the idea as complete nonsense - but the spirit of Jennifer has changed all that once and for all, and our love is still able to be shared like a history repeat and she is whispering; " darling just relax and remember those deep and passionate times we shared".
It was as good as it gets and seemed like it was for real, with Jennifer standing there in a translucent glow with a cup of tea in hand, planting it on my bedside locker and sitting there so neatly on the bed beside me.
"Darling I know you will want some comfort after last night before you drink your tea, right? And anyway the tea needs to cool because I would not like you to burn those sweet lips."
I smiled and felt it was really her. Then she her lips met mine I really felt the warmth and the tingle of them and her wonderful deep kiss soothing my soul as then she rolled down the duvet, to reveal a very large erection which she knew would be ready for her.
It was for real, it must have been, and there is some truth about spirits being there as large as life, because the feeling of her touch and her kisses were like she was really there in mind and body.
"Oh! Baby that is divine, I have missed you so much, but you are still here aren't you?, in true spirit I can feel and see you right now."
"Shush" she whispered just like she always did in life when I anticipated what she would do next, and I can tell you feeling her warm mouth encircle me was magical, combined with the feel of her stroking and so teasingly touching my balls with all the zest and passion remembered.
The way she was taking me in her mouth she just had to be there spiritually, whether that was just my mind on fire or a sweet memory it didn't matter, because I could feel myself rising to the occasion with renewed passion like she was there, removing her silk gown she always wore until she dressed and showing me her true feminine beauty, her slimness so beautifully complimenting her curves, as I used to say and then she'd chuckle and slide next to me, I am feeling the touch of her warm body press into mine and the touch of her moist femininity massage my full swelling.
Yes it is now and it is the present and yes, Jennifer is surely there beside me, whispering into my ear the things she knows I like to hear when we are starting to sink into the motion of our bonding.
"You feel divine, darling, you really do. I feel your fuck encapsulating me even before you go inside, I need to cherish your masculinity in a way only a woman knows, the feel and taste of you so appealing and wonderful, I want to soak you in love juice and hear your passion bellow out as our fuck climaxes."
"In other words you need the full package baby?" I said and there she was, like always chuckling, we could laugh in bed and that was always so important, yes it would delay tactics but in the most delightful way, because as we laughed and talked, she would still be massaging me with her heavenly touch and soon she would perform for me after a short interval in the bathroom, garnishing her body in perfume that gave a wonderful endearing atmosphere and I never knew just how she would appear afterwards, depending on the role-play she chose - but it was always explicit and very sexual, and the sight of her in her Victorian maids gear was stimulating, and later her red and black trimmed Basque beneath all thay, her blue stocking tops and French red garter, complimenting matching frilly lace panties, and that very attractive space of white thigh between was very inviting.
She was really there wasn't she? - I felt even although my hand was passing through her, the feel of her was still very real.
She came back to the bedside and ripped off the duvet, teased the waist of my boxer shorts down and over my feet, I could feel her heat over me, the tantalising scent of her as she placed her kneed each side of my face upon the bed, lowering and lowering until I could just sense the touch between her thighs of the silkiness of those very sexy panties, moist with pussy juice as she massaged my face and allowed me to indulge in one of my passions, feeling her smother me between her thighs, teasing the seams of her panties aside with my busy tongue now licking and delving into her femininity.
That was real wasn't it? It had to be, it was just like it was, those wonderful moments shared together, we are so compatible to each other and so complete, I taste and search with the tip of my tongue and hear her delightful throat sounds, and soon she is bending down to suck cock again as we both simultaneously enjoy each other, lost in our own heaven on earth as we take our time and enjoy each others succulence - both coming in a wonderfully sensual way, she holding me firmly and guiding me to her breasts, as I spurt like a volcano over her firm nipples and I feel the flavour of her wetness as she comes too..
"Baby, you are there aren't you? Tell me so because I can feel you so much."
But the wind strengthened blowing through the open window and I felt the picture of her in my mind dissolve into a mist, then a very quiet whisper; "I will be back darling, when you want me, just be there for me and I will be there for you."