Bible Camp Babysitter - Day 03

Her tear-brightened eyes kept looking back and forth between mine, searching for her reassurance, her answer.

"I think the key to thoroughly enjoy the pleasure without losing control is to know you *can* have it again. Maybe not every instant you want it, and it's likely you won't reach those heights every time, but you can have it again. When I was new to sex, I wanted it constantly. Realize I, like most men, have an orgasm almost every time - sometimes more than once, as you've proved - I have sex. Not all of them are equal. Some are much better than others, but I have them nevertheless. That incredible height, that blinding white moment of total pleasure, was available and I wanted it."

She frowned, as if starting to understand but not getting it fully. I continued. "When I felt the most frantic, the least in control of myself, I was inevitably more concerned that I would be denied sexual pleasure. That perhaps my lover would not want to make love to me, or I would have to go to great lengths to convince her each time I wanted it. In some ways I felt compelled to suck every ounce out of every experience, in case it was denied in the future. Eventually, over the years, as it became obvious that I was not going to be denied, that my lover was understanding, that I was going to have years and years of wonderful sex ahead of me, I relaxed greatly. It didn't mean I enjoyed sex any less, or that my orgasms were any less intense."

"I don't see..." she still frowned. I smiled and interrupted her when she paused.

"Listen, perhaps I'm a little off track, but the two concepts are related. Your concern is that this magnificent sensation is going to alter who you are - change your personality in horrible ways, make you an addict to the pleasure. It certainly may be something you always want in your life, something you want access to, and the ability to feel that way again. However you will only actually do unrealistic things - only do damage to yourself and others - if you feel you can't get what you want any other way. What I'm telling you is that you don't have to do damage to yourself or others to get what you want."

I put my weight on one arm, reached up and caressed the side of her face. "You're warring with what you said earlier - that you knew you couldn't have me forever. That you wanted me for the week, and you knew you had to be discrete. Now you're not sure. You've unwrapped a present, like when you were younger and had a spectacular Christmas present. You want to play with it all the time, even when you know you can't or even when you're tired of playing with it, part of you still wants to be enjoying it."

I worked my fingers through her hair, keenly aware that, though we were mostly still, she kept pressure up around my penis and I remained, again, hard. It was difficult to say what I was about to say, but it was the truth, and that's what she'd come to me for. Besides, I knew I was more than twice her age, couldn't fill all the needs in her life. "You're going to find a lucky man some day, probably soon. He will fill your needs. You may have to teach him, to guide him how to make you feel as good as you did tonight, but be patient and the rewards will be - as you can tell - wonderful. Take your time, don't rush with the first male who walks across your path, find the one who is willing to work with you, to learn you."

I paused, and she looked less afraid, though still troubled. Her eyebrows creased, she still bit her lip.

"And yes," I sighed, my own vulnerability showing on my own face. "I think, until then, I would be unable to deny you. I would - I would crave this too much. I'd need us to be just as discrete, just as careful, just as subtle..." I paused again. "But yes, I would not simply abandon you. I would so much want to share this with you again, if you asked for it."

Her fears melted away, and she wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling me down. She kissed me hard and urgently, the flood of her relief adding power to her momentarily penned up passions. She raised her knees again and writhed around my penis. We were too wet for her grip to add friction, but the pleasure of her need engulfed me and I gave myself to her again.