'Fuck, will you look at the body on that.' Gavin said pausing the movement of the pint glass to his lips. 'Wouldn't mind a few hours tinkering with them pneumatics. She could make a young man old.' He dipped his tongue suggestively into the white head of the beer, taking long slow laps.
'That's Terri she's great. Them tits are all hers. None of your silicone jobs. You should see her arse, tanned all over, not a trace of white anywhere. She's got one of them sunbeds goes on it regular. Wake's my old fella up every time I think of her.' Replied John, grasping his crotch in emphasis.
'You know her then?' Gavin enquired nudging John as he spoke.
'Sort of, she used to go out with Paul. I'll call her over if you like. You got to watch your language though. She's a bit snooty about her body. Like's showing it off but not so keen when you mention it. Caught her tongue a couple of times, for talking about her tits. Never have understood that in women. They go around dressed in next to nothing, then give you a lashing when you stop to look or mention it. Doesn't stop you fancying them though. Paul reckoned she didn't give out much. Bit precious with the old bed time exercises. Wouldn't mind a try though.'
'I certainly wouldn't kick her out of bed. Swap her for my missus any day just to cop a load of them tits.' Gavin interjected.
John called across the bar to Terri. She nodded an acknowledgement. Collecting two drinks from the bar she walked over to the two men. They watched her with fixed smiles on their faces. Her figure slicing through the crowd. Terri had long legs, balanced on silver high heeled sandals. The shoes complimenting her short metallic lurex dress. The dress was cut on a diagonal sweep to a central collar. Leaving one arm and shoulder bare. Circular cut outs to the side and back confirming she had an all over tan.
John spoke softly amid the noise of the pub making Terri bend forward to hear his words. All around conversations stuttered as male eyes followed the hem of her skirt. Terri's conversation was polite and brief. She was with a new friend tonight. She indicated to where Tony was sitting in a corner close by. His eyes stared forward, his hands at rest upon the table. Terri left them and Gavin spoke again.
'Wow what a babe. What a body. It was all I could do, to stop me hand reaching out and grabbing a feel. She should carry a health warning. Being that close certainly shortened my life by a few seconds. What's wrong with that Tony then? Why is she going up to get the drinks?'
'Blind mate. Can't see a thing you watch him as she approaches. See he lifts his head when she's close by. He hears her coming.' John indicated with his hand as Tony lifted his face towards the towering figure of Terri, his fingers outstretched towards hers.
' I wouldn't mind hearing that myself.' Continued Gavin.
'I wouldn't mind hearing her come. I bet she's a wailer. These fancy ones always are.' Gavin's eyes began to widen as he warmed to the subject. His stare remaining fixed on Tony and Terri.
'Not what my mate said. Very quiet. Very stiff. Bit like poking a fridge he reckoned, then I wouldn't mind a bit of frostbite, to try to turn her light on.' John smiled conspiratorially at Gavin.
The pair watched as Terri placed Tony's drink on the table, her long fingers guided him to the base of the glass.
'What a shame all that precious eye candy going to waste on someone who can't appreciate it.' Gavin began again.
'Don't knock it mate. Least he don't want to thump you, or rearrange your face with a glass for getting an eyeful of his girlfriend. She's got it sussed I reckon. She could be having a really good time with some other bloke and he wouldn't know a thing about it. So long as she was still able to speak.'
The shiny Lycra moulded to her figure, revealed the ample swell of her bottom, and the slender muscled thighs they joined. Leaning over the table still talking to Tony, the hem of Terri's dress perched perilously close to the top of her thigh.
'Look at that an open goal. I could shoot from five paces and score.' Gavin said indicating the cleavage of Terri's buttocks outlined by the tight Lycra.
'In your fucking dreams mate. You've got as much chance of scoring with her as United. Did you see that missed penalty the other night. Talk about open goal...'
Tony sat where Terri had placed him when they returned to her flat. He could hear her moving about. He was struggling to build an audio map of his surroundings. Tony quite liked Terri, she seemed an attractive girl. Although his criteria differed greatly from the voices he had heard in the pub. As time wore on he was becoming more and more agitated. He knew what it was. He just had to give people a chance to understand his disability. Terri had the disposition of a kind compassionate person. She just tried too hard sometimes to be helpful. She had spent most of the evening mothering him. It was not what he wanted from a relationship. He wanted someone to love in an entirely different way.
At the moment he was feeling marooned abandoned. The armchair was fast becoming a prison. He wanted to get up moved around, gauge his new surroundings. He hoped to learn more of the girl he had spent so many pleasant evenings with. Instead he was brooding. His thoughts turned more and more to the words he had overheard in the pub. Was she using him? Was she looking to take advantage of his lack of sight? Did she think that him being blind, made him 'safe'. A child man to be loved and hugged, put away at the end of a date. He had the same needs and emotions as any man. He just had a different form of sight.
Tony became impatient. Where was Terri? Whatever was she doing?" She could be having a really good time with some other bloke and he wouldn't know." As soon as the words flashed through his head he knew they were irrational, stupid. Maybe he should go. Leave now. It had been a pleasant evening. He would arrange to see her again. See her, "What a shame all that precious eye candy going to waste." Here was the problem he couldn't see her. He couldn't look at her other's could. Everyone in the pub knew how she looked, he didn't. She had been out with him, but on view to everyone else. He was jealous, ridiculously jealous. She had been with him. They had talked, touched, walked hand in hand. Shared confidences even, it should be enough for any man. Tony wasn't any man, he was a blind man. Terri's man child.
'I've made us some fresh coffee. How do you take it? With milk and sugar or black?' Terri spoke from somewhere down to his right.
Tony had been so lost in his thoughts he had missed her arrival. He couldn't understand how he had missed the aroma of the coffee. His sense of smell tended to guide him better than sound. Terri's perfume was very individual. Expensive, delicate in the way he judged her to be. He heard something being moved beside him, the aroma of strong coffee drifted to his nose. She must have removed a lid or cover.
'Tony,' Terri spoke again 'How do like your coffee?'
'Hot, strong, unsweetened. Just like my women.'
'Women? You never mentioned your harem.' Terri poured the coffee, before guiding his hand to the cup handle facing him. ' Careful it's hot.'
There she was again. Treating him like an imbecile. He could feel heat. His senses were well defined. He couldn't see, he was still able to feel and think for himself. He was getting angry now, he could feel his fingers trembling. Terri must have noticed, when she placed her soft fingers over the back of his hand. She was sweet. Sweet just like candy, eye candy.
'It's been a really pleasant evening. But I really should go after coffee. I expect you have things to do in the morning.' Tony began awkwardly, even his voice was beginning to shake. He sat forward, holding the coffee cup not daring to raise it to his lips.
'Oh! Must you go? I have nothing planned. That's why I chose this evening, so that we could have time to talk and relax alone. There's nothing wrong is there?' Terri spoke with a slight note of disappointment to her voice. Concern edging her final question.
'Nothing. Nothing at all. I am a little tired that's all.' Tony tried to sound relaxed, but he detected an edgy note to his voice.
Just stop it. Let me go. He thought. I really like her. I don't want to argue with her. She's done nothing wrong. Nothing I have seen. He felt the green bile of jealousy looming in his throat.
'Are you sure there is nothing wrong? If I've done something say so. I can go a bit over the top occasionally. You're a very special guy. I really would like to get to know you. But you've been moody all night. Well not moody, quiet.'
Tony tried to make it sound like a piece of conversation, a subtle change, not the accusation that came out.
'Who were those men in the pub tonight?'
'Which men?' Terri's voice rose, with it he detected her standing up.
Tony tried to fix her position. Guessing her to be in front of him he answered.
'When you were at the bar, who were the men who called you over?'
Terri hesitated, Tony turned his head about trying to sense if she had heard, if she was still in the room. He caught a whisper of her perfume, brushing through the aroma of coffee.
'The sad bastards. One of them was a pal to an old boyfriend. He was a mistake, his friends were something else. They talked at you, not to you. Didn't you notice he spent his time addressing my bosom. God alone knows what was on his companions mind. But I've got a good guess.'
'Your breasts mainly, then there was your bottom and legs as well.' Tony interceded.
'Why did you ask? Wait a minute how did you know? You haven't been leading me on?' he could tell Terri was now agitated.
The one thing he didn't want to happen had. She should have just accepted he had to leave. Now he would go, and never see her again. See her he had never seen her.
'I hear. I hear a lot of things. I hear much more than people think. Sometimes I hear too much. I don't lead anybody on. It's normally them leading me. The one thing I can't do is see. I can't see you. I can't see you how other's do.'
'So how do these people see me? Let me guess. Great body, great tits, the kind of thoughts to make a porno film. If that's how you want to see me fine. I'll call a taxi now.
I have a figure, I'm proud of. I swim, I go to the gym like you. I use a sun bed, because it makes me feel good. It makes me confident. That is not all of me. That is the surface, the veneer, the gloss. It ensures that people are attracted to me. It makes me attractive. Whilst I can't be wholly selective about who is attracted to me. I can chose who I spend my time with. I chose to be with you. You talked to me, not my dress, my tits or my arse. You talked to me as a person. Now I don't know what you heard, or what you think you heard, but I'm not a tart. I don't fool around. Start talking, or start walking.'
'Other people seeing you make you feel good. Other people, sad bastards, looking at you make you feel good. You said you wanted me to stay, so that we could get to know each other. Yet you have secrets. Things you want to hide from me, because I can't see. Everyone else knows these things about you. The sad bastards know how you look. Me, the special guy, you don't want me to know or see that. I fell for the person, for Terri first. It doesn't stop me being a man. It doesn't stop me having the same desires and wants as any other man. You want our relationship to be exclusive, but in doing so you want to exclude me from the thing that makes you feel good. I only know you how others describe you. I can only guess, at how you look, how you dress. It's not a proper relationship. When we go out you dress for someone else, the other people who are in the room with us.
I'll be honest Terri, I'm jealous. I have no reason or call to be so. I'm envious for the things I do not know, that are otherwise common knowledge. I should not have come here tonight. As you said what I heard has left me moody. I'm angry, frustrated angry. It's not you. I'm sorry this evening has ended this way.'
Tony searched around with his hands and feet trying to find a way out of the seat. Like a fish thrown onto the shore, he threshed about trying to regain the independence and strength he had lost by being placed in the chair.
Terri placed her hand on his shoulder, pressing him back into his chair.
'There's only the two of us now. No one else to see or look. I never thought you could be jealous of something you didn't know. I suppose in our hearts we are all afraid or wary of the unknown. How can I help you see me? I want to include you, not exclude you. You are a special guy. I asked you here, because I want you in my life.'
Tony was breathing deeply, he was tired from fighting the anger. Weary from the self inflicted hurt. He had already seen her. Seen her in so many different ways. He was guilty and feeling ashamed yet his pride forced him on. He lifted her hand from his shoulder, and placed it in his own.
'Describe yourself to me. I've heard how other's think you look. Tell me in your own words.'
'Where do I start?'
'At your head. If you like. Your hair always feels good when it brushes my face. It smells of flowers. It is softer more soapy than your perfume.'
Tony felt Terri moving her body twisting as he heard her sniffing.
'You are right I never noticed. Do you still want your coffee? It must be getting cold.' Terri tried to place his hands about the handle of the cup. Tony stiffened then relaxed realising that she had suddenly become self conscious, wary of describing herself. He let her place his hands on the cup. Free of her grip she seemed more distant she was moving again.
'You are not going away are you?'
'No it's alright I'm here. I just feel silly. What do you want to no about my hair you don't already know? You know how it feels, how it smells. You know more about it than me.'
'What colour is it?'
'Chestnut. Well that's what it says on the bottle. My natural colour was an undistinguished mousey blonde. It's not quite shoulder length, it's styled to frame my face, highlight my green eyes. People say I have nice eyes.'
'Kind eyes I would imagine.' Tony attempted to reassure Terri, in her task.
'Thank you. I have an average mouth, nothing especially sexy. My teeth are white and even, my nose is okay. Not too big, its straight not broad or flattened. I don't know what else to say.' Terri was moving around again. Tony sensed she was uneasy as if resolving a problem whilst speaking.
'So tell me what are you wearing. Your dress is short. I heard that much. A little revealing too.' Tony prompted.
'It's not that short.' Terri fidgeted her voice moving around as she spoke. 'I'm tall, six feet tall in my heels, which I'm wearing tonight.' Tony had guessed this. Her face was level with his when they walked 'I have long legs, more leg than dress.'
'So what does this dress look like.' Tony was finding it difficult to keep her on the subject.
'It's silver, a good fit. It clings to my body. It's made from lycra, the fabric your training clothes are made from.'
She was doing it again. Talking down to him. He knew what Lycra was he wasn't a fool.
' It makes me look good like you. I used to watch you training at the gym. Watch your thighs working at the rowing machine. The muscled outline of your back when you did press ups and squats. I couldn't understand how you were so focused and dedicated. You didn't see anything. You didn't see me watching you. Then someone told me, you couldn't see. It didn't matter. It doesn't matter.'
'But you have watched me. You looked at me and made your choice. Tell me the rest. Tell me the rest about your dress.'
'It has cut outs, at the waist, on the shoulder, in the back and at my breast. They are like big ovals, it's a warm night I wanted something cool. They don't show anything they shouldn't. You can't see my knickers, and I'm wearing a bra otherwise my nipples would poke through. I'm not easy, I'm not a tart, some people can't cope with modest exposure. It's their problem not mine.' Terri's voice had grown defensive.
'So is that all there is to tell? Is that the description you want me to work from?' Tony sat back in the chair drinking the coffee and waited for a response. He tried to build a picture of her, but he saw people differently, by feel and shape. What she had told him was difficult to translate. He listened she was moving. She was moving furniture about. Terri's hand touched his taking the coffee cup away. Her grip returned to his hand again.
'I think you should decide for yourself how I look. I don't know the right words to use for you to see me.'
Terri placed Tony's hand at her waist. Her felt the hard edge of stitching, where one of the cut outs started. She moved his hand round, his palm resting on the rise of her hip. Slowly she slid his palm down over the clinging shiny fabric. He could feel the firm line of her thigh beneath. The muscular curve filling his hand as she bent forward. His hand reached the hem of her dress. She pressed his hand into her thigh indicating he should hold it there. She lifted her leg, gently resting the toes of her shoe onto his thigh.
'Do you think my dress feels too short?' she asked.
Tony concentrating tried to measure the luxurious length his hand had travelled. In some ways it seemed so short, in others it was an eternity.
'Why don't you see just how long my legs are. Touch them for yourself.'
Tony's hand slipped off the dress onto the cool muscle of her leg. It felt smooth like marble, his fingers caressed the firm flesh. He felt the taper of her thigh halt at the complex joint of her knee. Pausing he touched the back of her knee. He reconsidered his opinion. Her skin was too warm to be marble. It was porcelain. Delicately he felt for her calf. With both hands he supported her leg, stroking from ankle to knee. Her legs were long. He had to stretch to her thigh. He told her so, told her they felt beautiful as well.
'Where would you like to look next?' Terri asked as Tony continued playing his hand over the surface of her leg.
'Give me your hand. I'd like to stand up.' Tony stretched a hand out in front of him 'Let me look at your face. I can't believe it's as ordinary as you said.'
Terri guided Tony to his feet. Kissing his palms she placed them upon her face. Tony's thumbs rested on her cheeks, as his fingers explored her features.
'You have big eyes and a slender nose. Sleek very delicate.' He whispered as his exploration continued, beneath her hair.
Massaging the guides of her neck, pressing softly the padded tissue of her earlobes, he felt her head relax. First back, then forward, Terri's hair brushing his face. He heard a soft murmur, like the gentle purr of a cat. The moulded round of her breasts nudged against his chest as she swayed beneath the spell of his searching hands.
His thumbs trailed to the edge of her mouth, seeking the soft tissue of her lips. They felt wide lush, warm, the kind he had always imagined kissing. His lips brushed against hers. They touched, making fluttering exchanges like a birds wing coming to rest.
'You have a soft mouth, with warm lips. Generous and wide like your eyes.'
Terri moved to speak, the words lost against his mouth. As her body pressed against his, her arms locked about his neck., He trailed his hand down her back following the curve of firm muscle to the hollow of her back. He felt her skin exposed by the cut out in her dress. It felt warm silken He worked back along her ribs to her shoulders, gently pressuring the pads of flesh.
Heat radiated from their bodies, as they mingled into a longer deeper searching kiss. Her hips pressured now against his, her thighs heated his own. Unfolding her arms from about his neck, Terri's hands slipped to the shoulders of his shirt.