tagHumor & SatireBloody Genie

Bloody Genie

byAshson©

Charley is 25, reasonably good looking, has an interesting job and does all right with the girls.

OK. To be honest, he liked girls and has been known to date them if he could. He'd even managed to get laid a few times. Well, if you insist on knowing, three times but he didn't have to pay for it. All right, I'll admit he had to pay the second time, but he didn't know she was a hooker until afterwards. He still says she wasn't a real hooker but just trying to get compensation for the way he made love. None of the girls he'd talked into bed had ever stuck around for a second night, and Charley was just a little despondent over this.

Now one of Charley's little hobbies was beach combing, so any night that he didn't have a date Charley would wander down to the beach and check to see what the tide had washed up. Now that I think of it, he spent a lot of evenings at the beach. But on this particular day Charley was to have a change of luck. He found the bottle, one of those old wine bottles in a wicker basket, quite pretty even if it was a bit grotty, so Charley did the old polish the bottle to see what it was like clean.

Now I'm sure you're all expecting the big puff of smoke, the genie emerging, Charlie shitting his pants in fright and the three wishes, but it just doesn't happen that way. There was this little popping sound when Charlie did the polish bit, and the Genie was sitting on Charley's shoulder. A good three inches tall, light blue in colour and a really natty suit. (Made by Gieves & Hawkes in London. Prices start at $5,000.)

Now Charley looks at this little genie and the little genie looks at Charley.

"You're a genie?" queried Charley.

"Your perspicacity does you credit, o noble master. I am indeed a genie. Your genie. You may call me Abdul."

"You're a very small genie, aren't you? Is Abdul your real name."

"If you have to live in a bottle that size, you'd better be bloody small and no, my name is not Abdul. If you ever learn to speak basic genie I will be delighted to tell you my proper name, but because you currently don't, let's go with Abdul."

"If I'm your master, does that mean you have to give me three wishes?" Charley asked, suddenly getting with the plot.

"Not exactly," said Abdul. "There's been some changes since the fairy tales were written. One of those changes is that the genie council has decided that, because of human overpopulation, the lucky bottle finders are reduced to one wish. And you have to ask for it today. We're busy people you know."

"So I get one wish, but it can be anything I want," said Charley with a very large smirk on his face.

"One wish, and we mean one, and we don't allow wriggle room. You think it over and remember, one means one. By the way, the council has gone politically correct and reserves the right to veto any wishes they feel don't match their criteria. They've also gone green so any wishes have to be energy neutral. And they're pro-life, so don't even think of trying to smite any enemies you may have."

"That last bit doesn't matter. I don't have any enemies. Can I wish for eternal life? That's pro-life."

"No enemies? I can think of three women who can't stand you. Especially that fake hooker who made you pay up after your sex session. No. You can't wish for eternal life. To give you extra life we'd have to deduct it from other people. Books have to be kept in balance, you know."

"Can I wish for a fortune?"

"That's one of the easier ones to grant. No worries from my end but are you thinking this through?"

"What do you mean?" asked Charley suspiciously.

"It's like this," said the genie. "I dump a hundred million into your bank account and you're rich. Then the IRS want to know where you got the money. Think they believe in genies? The Home Security guys, they'll think terrorist money and they'll be all over you, and even if they do believe in genies they'll point out I'm from Arabia and probably a terrorist. You really want the hassles?"

"How about charisma? Could you make me so charismatic that women will flock to me and I'll get laid every night."

"That's another easy one for me. I just take a smidgeon of charisma from a few million men and dump it on you. Women will be falling out of trees trying to get to you and screw you. They'll also want to get pregnant by you. Can you afford hundreds of cases of child support?"

Charley was starting to get really narked now. What was the use of a wish if it wouldn't even get him laid? A thought. "True love?" he queried.

"Rules say we can't coerce another person, and to be your true love we'd need a lot of coercion."

Charley was getting more than narked now. He considered carefully, what did he really want? Well, that was easy enough. He wanted to get laid, repeatedly. Now, how could he achieve this with a wish. The problem seemed to lie in his abilities as a lover. He'd heard what a couple of those girls had claimed about him, and while he didn't believe it maybe he could learn how to better treat a woman. How to be a bit more like his boss, Randy, who always seemed to be successful with women. How could he learn how Randy treated them?

"Abdul, is it possible to change me into a woman for a day?" he asked.

Abdul considered this and then nodded. "I can do this. To balance the equation I'd have to change a female into a male for the same period of time, but if I do this to a baby still in the womb then no-one will notice and the baby would revert to female when you revert to male. Yes, I can do this."

"OK, Abdul. My boss Randy is currently between girlfriends. My wish is this: when I go out tonight I want to be a female who Randy will find incredibly attractive, and I want it to be mutual. I want to be in a position to experience love making from the female side, so that when I revert to being a man I'll remember exactly how to please a woman in bed."

Abdul considered this. Charley seemed to have all bases covered except one. "I assume that you won't want to get pregnant if you intend to have sex, right?"

Charley blinked. Getting knocked up was not something a man usually had to consider. "Ah, right. No pregnancy."

"Not a problem," said Abdul. "I'll just make sure you're in a safe stage of your cycle and you'll be fine. And I'll even switch your clothes with female things when I switch you. Give a yell if you need me."

With these parting words and a little pop, Abdul vanished. Charley considered the bottle and thought that he'd better take that home. You never knew when you might need a genie in a bottle.

Charley dressed with care that night. He wanted to look good so that transformed, he'd be a hit. Finally he was ready to go and called for Abdul. There was a pop and there also, was Abdul.

"I'm ready for my switch, Abdul," said an excited Charley. "Let's go."

"No rush, Charley," said Abdul. "I assume you don't want to look like a two bit hooker out trolling for drunken sailors?"

"What?"

"I thought not. I think we'd better go for my choice of clothes rather than yours. When you meet Randy, why don't you observe his style. I checked him out and he's quite a neat dresser. Now to work."

Charlie wasn't quite sure what happened next, but he felt a lot of strange twisting within himself and then he wasn't himself. He hesitated, not quite sure what to do, but quickly sensing everything felt normal, just not what he was used to. He strolled across to the mirror to check his new figure, giving his hair a gentle pay as he admired himself. "I make one gorgeous chick," he thought. "I wouldn't mind dating me sometime."

"OK, Charley, you're now Cherri. That's spelt with a double R and an I. When Randy introduces himself he'll probably call himself Randolph. I suggest you keep in mind that Randolph is his proper name, nor Randy. Now go and enjoy yourself, and don't forget your purse."

Cherri headed out to conquer and learn.

Arriving at the nightclub that Randolph normally frequented, Cherri found herself ushered in with a minimum of fuss. No waiting around and needing to bribe her way in the way Charley had to. This was great. Up to the bar to buy a drink and there were four offers to get one before she had a chance to order. Nice guys, but her target was further down the bar. Cherri moved slowly towards the spot that Randolph occupied. "Wow," she thought, "He is a honey. Cute and I like his outfit. Yes, definitely my type of man."

She lifted a hand to signal the barman and ordered a cocktail. Even as she was reaching for her purse, she heard a husky voice saying, "Please. Let me." She turned and smiled as Randolph continued. "Hi. I'm Randolph. I've never seen you here before. You are?"

"Hullo. I'm new here and I don't know anyone in the area yet. I'm Cherri."

After that things went smoothly. They enjoyed drinks and small talk, danced and talked some more. Randolph bought her dinner and they had a few more drinks. Cherri was finding she was quite excited over this handsome man who was making such a determined play for her. She could feel little ripples of excitement low in her stomach, and her breasts were aching, longing to be touched. She knew she was being seduced by an expert and didn't object at all. She found she was actually admiring her technique, for some reason committing it to memory.

Randolph never did ask her to go home with him, just seeming to know when the time was right and escorting her out to a waiting taxi. "I didn't notice you order a taxi," she observed as he slid into the back beside her.

"I didn't," came the confident reply. "I have an arrangement with the bartender to call one when I want it and to signal me when it arrives. Saves me a lot of bother."

"Should I ask where we're going?"

"You can ask, but why bother. You can probably guess," said Randolph, pulling her towards him.

Cherri relaxed and let him kiss her, enjoying the sensation and barely noticing that observer standing back in her head taking little mental notes. As they rode along, Randolph gently cupped her breast, not intruding inside her clothes but holding it and giving it a light caress that sent shivers through her. What would it be like if he had his hand on her naked breast she couldn't help wondering.

Cherri found Randolph's hand was resting on her knee, causing more little ripples of excitement. Should she move it or not? No need really. It was just holding her. More kisses distracted her for a while until a slight lull caused her to be once more of his hand. It had moved higher and was gently stoking her inner thighs, not trying to go too high but letting her body know it was there and could go higher at any moment. Cherri found she was now breathing hard, but before she could do or say anything Randolph spoke.

"We're reached my place, Cherri. Are you coming up for some coffee, or do you want to go on home?"

Cherri looked at him smiling at her and swallowed. "I think I'd like some coffee," she murmured huskily.

In the elevator neither spoke. Randolph was quietly confident in what was going to happen while Cherri was unsure but eager to find out.

"This is a lovely dress you wearing," he noted. "It's designed by Jean Paul Gaultier if I'm not mistaken."

"It is. You know your designers it appears," said Cherri.

"I have seen some of his other work. He's one of the best. "You know," he added thoughtfully,

"It would be a shame if you got coffee stains on such a lovely item. Why don't you slip it off and hang it over the chair. I can find you something more casual to slip into."

"If it's not too much trouble?"

"Not at all. Here let me help you," returned Randolph and somehow, without really intending it, Cherri found that her dress had been slipped off and was now hanging over the back of a chair, leaving her standing there in shoes, stockings and bikini panties.

"Beautiful," murmured Randolph, reaching up and stroking her breast. "Why would you want these covered up? The place is warm. Come sit beside me like that."

He gently manoeuvred her onto the couch next to him, returning to the serious business of kissing her, but this time when his hand edged down to her breast, there was no impediment to his touch and the previous light excitement Cherri had felt exploded into a wave of feelings, moving down from her breast and tugging at her more private regions. Soon she was lying back on the couch, Randolph kneeling on the floor beside her, his mouth wandering over her breasts and stomach. His hand were now dancing around her legs, parting them slipping between them, stroking them. She felt him tracing lazy circles on the skin of her inner thighs, sending little shivers into her, and all this time he never once touched her panties or tried to encroach on the sensitive mound they protected.

Cherri could feel heat rising up through her, feel her vagina dewing over and preparing for a sweet invasion. Her whole mound was gently but insistently throbbing now and she could feel her lips swelling and parting, waiting.

And still he wouldn't touch her there! What was wrong with the man?

The skilful playing continued. Cherri was breathing hard now, trying to twist herself to let her pussy make contact with those tantalising fingers, only to have them drift out of reach. Randolph ran his hand the length of Cherri's legs, tracing the stockings down to her feet and slipping off her shoes. He considered the stockings for a moment and decided, no, they could stay. Now his hands came slowly wandering back up her legs, edging ever nearer to that mound that was quivering in expectation. Still teasing and driving her wild, his hand separated as he reached that junction, darting up either side of her hips to fasten on the string sides of her panties. Then looking into her eyes Randolph slowly drew them down and off, tossing them to one side, and still holding her prisoner with his eyes he reached up and suddenly clamped a hand firmly upon her mound, squeezing.

Poor Cherri didn't have a chance. After the long slow build-up, the heat was bubbling within her like a furnace ready to blow, and blow it did when Randolph gave her pussy that final shock. Cherri convulsed, the unexpected orgasm forcing a scream from her as her whole body lifted with the spasms that tore into her. She gasped and shuddered as the climax passed through her, idly noting that Randolph was now standing and undressing. Even as she noticed this she saw him moving onto the couch between her legs and she saw that he was magnificently erect. An idle thought crossed her mind. "I haven't even touched it yet and now he's going to use it."

She watched curiously for a moment as Randolph parted her lips and moved the head of his erection between them, and then all curiosity was swept away as he plunged into her, driving down and into her vagina, filling her, turning all her thoughts to mush, her only knowledge the sizeable cock that was within her. Her softness gave to his hardness, his strength turning her body to weakness, his dominance causing her immediate yielding.

Randolph lay upon her, his weight pressing her down, but Cherri had no thought of struggling. He was dominating her, she had to do what he wanted, wanted to do it. She rejoiced at the hardness filling her, and pressed herself eagerly against it. Then Randolph commenced to ride her, driving her along, riding hard. He didn't need a whip to make her go. That long hard rod that hammered relentlessly into her was all the goad she needed, making her struggle to keep up, rearing to meet each downward thrust. The ride was too hard and fast for a long race, and Cherri was handicapped be the climax she'd just suffered through. All too soon Cherri could feel the pressure building, and then she hit the finish line again, with another climax crashing through her.

Randolph felt Cherri climaxing again, her convulsions triggering his need, causing him to frantically spill his seed with her.

Lying quietly next to Cherri, relaxing, Randolph finally ventured to speak. "That was a very good start to the night. Why don't we go through to the bedroom and see what else we can do."

He picked Cherri up, waited for, but not expecting, a protest and then carried her through to the next room, laying her on the bed. "It's time we got further acquainted," he murmured, moving next to her.

Cherri returned home next morning. It had been an interesting night and he was sure he'd learnt a lot. He couldn't wait to try out some of those techniques. With what he now knew, women would be putty in his hands. He bounced into his flat, calling for Abdul.

"Ha, Abdul. Everything went swell. You can switch me back to a male anytime now."

There was that little pop and Abdul was there. Not on Charley's shoulder but on the table, looking distinctly nervous. "Um, yes. About that change back. There's this tiny little problem. It wasn't my fault. Really it wasn't. How was I to know?"

"What are you talking about, Abdul?' asked Charley nervously. "You're not saying I'm pregnant or something like that?" he added in sudden horror.

"No, no. It's nothing like that. Nothing to do with you personally. You're fine."

"Then why is that little blue rat looking so nervous?" wondered Charley.

"Then what is it, Abdul. You can tell me. Why can't you change me back right now and when can you do it?"

Abdul looked at the table. "It's the kid," he said.

"More information, Abdul. What kid?"

"I told you about it. When I changed you I had to balance the books by switching a kid from female to male. That kid," explained Abdul.

"You're still not telling me anything. What is the problem?" shouted Charley, totally fed up now.

"You've got to understand. I've been in that bottle a long time. I'd never even heard about caesarean section. Didn't know you could do that sort of thing. I mean, who'd want to?" complained Abdul.

"Caesarean section? They had the kid by Caesarean section?" shouted Charley. "So what? Change us back quickly."

"But the rules say I can't play with a live person without permission and the kid's now an individual, alive and kicking. And screaming," added Abdul thoughtfully.

"Then explain the situation to the parents. They'll understand."

"They understand all right. They're Chinese and they desperately wanted a boy, not a girl. When I explained I'd switched gender on the kid they called down blessings on my head and said they'd praise me for as long as they live. There's no way they'll ever agree to having him switched back, and if I can't do that you're stuck. Sorry, Cherri. It's just one of those things."

With a final pop Abdul vanished, and this time he took his bottle with him, leaving Cherri standing there.

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