Blueberry Pancakes Ch. 01byLolaCaroline©
Rae never knew that when she woke up that morning, her life would end. Or at least that's what she thought it felt like; it just seemed like a normal Tuesday. Pretty ordinary in fact. She woke up that morning, showered and got ready for school, kissed Sean bye and headed to her Psychology class. Yep Tuesday was pretty normal, well it seemed that way. But that was until her music class was cancelled. Rae was actually glad the class was cancelled; she wanted to surprise Sean with lunch and a naughty snack. She headed home to prepare one of his favorites and take it to him at work. She got to her building and headed in, the apartment was alarmingly cold; she didn't remember the air ever being that low. Humming a Beatles tune she went straight for the kitchen, that's when she heard it, the pounding that is; she could feel the blood rushing to her head making her vision blurry and her body light. The faint sounds of moans, pants, and slaps of flesh lingered in the back ground. Turning her direction she tiptoed to their bed room. Rae didn't want to believe it; she didn't want to believe what she thought was going on. She hoped like hell that Sean had left porn playing on the TV before work, but when she quietly opened the door the scene that played in front of her was so much worse. It seemed too real, too vivid, vulgar to some as it unfolded before her eyes. Her mind was screaming "React you dumb bitch!" but her body refused to obey. Her body was numb but ached at the same time, her nerves were on edge making her chest feel tight and her eyes watery while her brain was being flooded with heart-shattering images, and all she could do was release a shaky breath and whisper.
"How could you?" She asked as a single tear rolled down her caramel colored cheek. There was her beautiful boyfriend, Sean, of two years, fucking some bony ass white girl with fake tits and cheaply dyed blonde hair. Rae took a step forward making the floor creak grabbing the two's attention.
"Rae!" shouted Sean pulling away from the girl immediately and grabbing his underwear, "What are you doing home baby?"
"Finally!" Rae thought as her body caught up with her brain. "What am I doing home!? No what the fuck are you doing home?! How could you Sean, in our fucking bed with some random ass female!?" cried Rae as she balled up her fist, they were fucking with the wrong one.
"I'm so sorry! He said he was single," squealed the blonde, as she quickly gathered her clothes and began to get dressed.
"Shut the fuck up Taryn!" shouted Sean.
Taryn ran out of the room before stopping to whisper sorry again to Rae. The couple stared at one another, her warm dark brown eyes staring into his beautiful pale blues, although she couldn't really focus, to many things were in motion, the icky smell of sex, the wet spot on the front of Sean's underwear, the pitter patter of the clock that read 12:15. The time mocking her, throwing in her face that a mere 5 minutes ago her life was bliss, and now it was just shit.
"Rae baby listen, I know y--," but before he could finish a sharp slap crossed his cheek making the lie that about to fall from his lips falter. "Save it, please just fucking save it, I can't believe that my now ex-boyfriend of two years just wasted what we had," she finished as the tears finally broke through their floodgates making her want to crumble to the ground.
"Baby? Ex? Please don't say that Rae we can work this out, I promise I'll do whatever it takes to make this better just tell me how? Please honey just tell me and I'll do it," Sean begged as he took a chance and stepped closer to her.
Noticing his movements Rae took a further step back, "Yes ex Sean, nothing will change this; the moment you decided to stick your dick in someone else was the moment that you ruined it all. Nothing will ever fix us, but you know what really hurts the most, you told me to love you, you told me to trust you, and I wanted it, I wanted it so bad I could taste it! I wanted this, us, everything! I loved whole heartedly and un-fucking-conditionally on purpose because you told me those damn lies! When I get back, you better be gone and burn those fucking sheets." Sean could see the hurt and anger in her eyes frost over too pure bitterness, he had to fix this; and fast.
"Baby please don't do this, look that girl wanted me okay! She fucking begged for it, I had to react, she wouldn't fucking stop honey, she came on to me," Sean pleaded trying to get as close as she would allow.
Rae's heart was constantly getting kicked in, it was as if she need to wrap her arms around herself to keep herself up, she couldn't handle anymore of this shit. "You told her you were single, be gone by six or I'm going to call the police."
She turned around and walked out of the room but, before she could get completely away from him, he whispered, "but I love you." She walked out of the apartment, just like she stepped in 10 minutes ago, her life now altered, she leaned against the door as her heart began to shatter and whispered back "I love you too."
Rae sat there in a haze of smoke, taking a pull from her pipe; she had to coach herself to breathe as she smoked the weed that was currently turning her body into a pool of numbness, she couldn't stand to feel anymore. "He cheated," whispered a voice in her head as she deeply inhaled. "He said he was single," Exhale. "But you love him" Inhale. "How long did this go on?" Exhale.
She put the pipe down and leaned back against the tree. Deciding to go to this amazing lake her and Sean would sometimes sneak off too at night when they first started dating. Rae didn't think heartache was supposed to happen so young, for goodness sakes she was only 20. She never would have thought that Sean would be the cause of it.
He was her knight in shining brass, a silly joke that they shared. The blueberries to her buttermilk pancakes, one of the things that made her originally fall for him in the beginning. He was a horrible cook but he always tried, which made her fall just a little bit harder; when she would walk into the kitchen and see him with a look of concentration on his face as his tongue poked out of the corner of his mouth, while ingredients were splattered all over him, he was just the cutest thing even if the food was burnt or raw, or just tasted plain horrible, you could tell that he honestly tried and for that she couldn't help but not love him, but he finally got a recipe right when he learned how to make the perfect blueberry pancakes from scratch. He made the absolute best blueberry pancakes.
Whenever they would get into an argument, or she would have a rough day at school or work, a midnight snack after they had a romp in the sack for hours, or just cause. They were her favorite food and Sean mastered them saying he did it because she loved them so much, and wanted he them to be perfect every time, she knew it was going to be hard to let that go.
He was supposed to protect her from the bad guys and he turned out to be the bad guy. Rae turned to the side and laid down on the small picnic blanket she found in her trunk, she just wished the tears would stop, that they wouldn't come anymore, that her heart would turn into ice and these knife like stabs that her chest were receiving were all just some sick and twisted dream, but the sad thing was she knew she couldn't stop the tears because it was real, and she did love Sean, he was her everything and for that she refused to stop because she didn't want to believe that it was really over , that her life was over. He asked if they would ever be better but she knew they never would because nothing is better than great.
Her phone zinged again, the universal sign that she'd gotten another text message. She knew it was Sean; he wouldn't leave her alone, he had been blowing up her phone since Tuesday. It was now Saturday, he wasn't making this breakup any easier, with the incessant phone calls, constant text messages and sending her stupid shit; like flowers, cards, mix-tapes of The Beatles and Daft Punk and the worst; blueberry pancakes.
Rae got out of the car and headed up to her apartment, the lease would be ending in a couple of months and she needed to decide what to do. Today was her first day out of the apartment and it was absolutely horrible. It was if all of the couples in California decided to be out today.
She winced as she headed up the elevator, her body hurt; lately all she could do was feel pain. It was seriously getting old, she opened her door and almost went batshit, there was Sean asleep on the couch as if he'd been waiting for her.
She quietly tried to tip toe out of the apartment but the floor broads creaked. Damn old ass building! Sean sat up and rubbed his eyes, "Hey Rae, I'm happy your home baby, I've been waiting for you actually, I made your favorite but I don't think it's good anymore, the blueberry syrup can be reheated though," Sean stated as he stood up and stretched, you could see the dark spots under his eyes, Rae could tell that he hadn't shaved in a couple of days, maybe this break up was hard on him too.
"Sean what are you doing here? I told you I would have your things delivered to you," said Rae as she took off her cardigan and messenger bag, and put them on the coat rack. "I know that's what you said Rae but I needed to see you, babe listen we can't just throw away what we had, I know I fucked it up, but we can fix this, let's just leave when the lease goes up we can move away and be better, I'll be better."
Rae stood there dumbfounded, why was he making this hard? Why was he making it seem like she broke up with him for nothing, as if she didn't catch him dicking down someone who wasn't her.
"Seriously Sean? Look I'm tired, and I had a really long day, just go away okay, I'll make sure your stuff is delivered Monday," said Rae as she headed for her bedroom, "oh and leave your key by the door."
She took off her shoes and plopped down on her bed covering her face with her pillow; she couldn't wait for this pain to end. The dull ache that constantly throbbed at the bottom of her belly was making her nauseous; she couldn't eat or sleep unless it was marijuana induced. She heard the front door open and then close, the sound making tears come to her eyes; she knew she told him to leave but she didn't think he really would, maybe he didn't care, she thought as she felt the bed dip. Rising up on her elbows, she saw Sean sitting at the end of the bed staring at her.
Cautiously he took her foot in his hand and began to massage it, Rae didn't want to but she couldn't help but bite back a moan as she asked him the question she'd been dying to know, "just tell me, how long?"
He hit a pressure point in her foot and began to work his way up her calf making her whimper her approval, "It doesn't matter, she's not important, your important, were important, but she isn't baby."
"Sean please, I have to know," she said as she melted back into the pillows.
"Raise up," he said as he began to slide her jeans off of her thickly shaped caramel colored thighs, Rae did as she was told, it's like he had this power over her that she didn't understand. Sean slid in between her legs and began to massage her inner thighs making Rae moan; he looked at her and could tell that she still wanted to know the answer.
"Three weeks, it was nothing really it was more of the chase rather than the actual conquering, one day though we went too far, and baby if I could take it back I would but I can't so let me just make it better now please," he pleaded as his hands stilled on her thighs.
Rae could feel the pounding behind her ears as her eyes watered with knowing tears. She looked at Sean's beautiful face, taking in the contours of his strong jaw line, his short strawberry blonde hair, and mesmerizing pale blue eyes, she didn't want to believe that her beautiful boy would do this to her, but he had and for three whole weeks, she knew that this would be the last time she would ever let Sean into her soul and body like this and she wanted to make it the best, they would never get another chance because after this, she had to close Sean's chapter in her book. Sean leaned in and wiped the tears away from Rae's face with his thumbs. He couldn't believe that he monumentally fucked up one of his greatest relationships. He loved his beautiful girl, he remembered the first time he ever saw her. She was trying to reach a book off of the top shelf in the library, her beautiful caramel skin and thickly shaped body made him do a double take as her long black hair cascaded down her shoulders. All of the girls in California were bony wannabe actresses and models but Rae wasn't, she was just so real and the moment he looked into her warm brown eyes and beautiful smile he knew that he was a goner; he just had to have her, but one day something just snapped in him, he lost control and finally let Taryn get what she wanted; him. He could obviously tell that Rae wouldn't forgive him anytime soon; he could hear the tremble in her voice and the shake of her body as she let loose her waterworks; he had really broken her.
"Rae, love please stop crying, look what will make this moment right now better? Tell me, I'll leave if you want, do you want to hit me? Make me hurt like you're hurting, it's okay baby do it just please stop crying," Sean begged as he placed Rae's hands on his face. Just as he leaned in too kiss away her tears he felt the sharp slap cross his cheek making it a scarlet color. He looked at Rae and could see the troubled fear in her eyes, he moved to grab her hands to kiss them and she slapped him again, and again and again then fell into his chest into a hiccupping frenzy.
He held her close, kissed her head and shushed her as he rubbed her back making her hiccups subside and her tears stop. They both knew that their relationship wasn't easy by any means and maybe things did need to fall apart so they could see things for what they really were, but that didn't stop the rapid heart pace they received when the other was around.
They were going to miss the closeness and the honesty of the raw love they felt for one another, but sometimes love is tricky and it pulls you apart from someone so you can really see who the other person is, it hurts but it's a must and Rea finally realized that.
She didn't want to do it, but she had too, she had to be weak and needy for a little while, she was tired of pretending to be strong, tired of pretending to be okay. She just wanted to feel something other than pain, Sean was her drug and she was beyond addicted, she just needed one last hit before she went to rehab, so she wasn't surprised when she heard the words fall from her lips, "Please Sean, please," she said as she began to frantically unbuckle his belt.
"Please what Rae? Tell me," he pleaded with her, Rae looked into his eyes and felt her heart break just a little more, "please make me forget, make me feel better."
He took her hands off of his belt and kissed her forehead, "lift up your arms love," Rae did as she was told and raised her arms. She felt Sean unhook her bra and pull her shirt over her head; he slid her panties off as well and laid them with the rest of her clothes.
"Lay down," he softly commanded as he gently pushed her back into the comforter, rubbing the cleft in between her breast, he made a trail of hungry kisses there, making Rae moan, he kissed all over her breast then took a dark nipple into his mouth, sucking then lightly biting it while squeezing the other.
Rae could feel her wetness starting to flow; as Sean rubbed her clit in a slow circular motion with his thumb; she was going to miss this so much. He then switched sides and gave the other nipple the same treatment; he looked up to see Rae in complete bliss as small tears fell into her hair. He dipped down and licked into her belly button making her stomach flutter. "Oh fuck Sean," Rae said as her body slightly lifted off of the bed as Sean made a hungry trail of kisses down her thick body, he hooked his arms around her thighs making it impossible for her to run away from him as he made his assault between her legs. He hungrily circled her clit with his tongue making Rae moan louder and grab his hair, sliding his hungry tongue up and down her dewy folds he dipped his tongue into her pussy and fucking swooned; he was going to miss this as well.
He began to eat Rae out like his life depended on it, he could tell that she was going to cum soon by the way she tightened around his tongue and gripped at his hair, lifting her legs up he parted her ass cheeks and made his assault on her dark rosebud, making Rae buck off of the bed and claw at the sheets, raising up he shucked his clothes off in record speed and put his dick at her entrance, "wrap your legs around me," he said as he grabbed her face and kissed her deep, his tongue sucking hers into his mouth; he wanted her to taste her wetness.
She tasted so good, like peppermint and her essence, with a hard thrust he entered her, making it hard for her to catch her breath as he impaled her on his dick, he knew she needed to adjust because he was on the big side, so he slowed down as he gathered her in his arms, he sat on his butt and lined his legs up in the front of him, letting her settle on top of him and ride. She placed both of her legs on either side of him and went to work as she formed a rhythm, making her and Sean both cry out.
"Fuck Sean, ughh why couldn't you just do right?" she moaned as he began to nudge her g-spot. "This pussy was all yours but you just couldn't do right, could you?" Sean moved his head down and took a nipple in his mouth sucking her into oblivion, as he switched to the other as he massaged her ass cheeks in his hands making her whimper; she could feel her orgasm beginning to come.
Sean grabbed Rae's hips and began to thrust up making her rhythm falter, "cum for me Rae, this pussy is still mine and always will be, now cum for daddy." Before Rae could protest, she felt her walls tighten around his dick and her toes curl as her scalp began to tingle, Sean's hips faltered as he felt Rae's orgasm trigger his. The couple moaned and shouted in bliss until their bodies fell from one another in completion.
After round four Rae finally untangled herself from Sean, and leaned against the headboard; she looked at him and rubbed her neck, he had left two dark hickies on her; marking her. She gave him a sad smile and said, "I love you boy." Sean knew that this was it, the separation, and it was for good. "I love you too," he leaned in and kissed her on the forehead while rubbing her cheek then her neck while lightly kissing her lips one last time. He gathered his clothes and got dressed in the living room as Rae turned on her side and let the tears flow, she didn't even try to stop them this time. She clutched her pillow tightly to her chest as it began to cave in, she heard the front door open then close; she really did just lose her everything.
"What am I suppose to do when the best part of me was always you, and what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and your okay, I'm falling to pieces."
I really hope you guys enjoyed the first installment of my first story ever; if you did comments, ratings and other feedback would be greatly appreciated, so don't be shy loves!