Bob Doe You Naughty Man

CHAPTER 1

Three months after being divorced by his wife who'd found in mid-life she was romantically attracted to another woman, Bob Doe finally came out of sulking. Reading the signs, daughter Mira decided to introduce him to Mrs Apple, the widowed mother of one of her friends.

The good intent was in vain. Verity Apple's breasts were too large for Bob's liking and he preferred a woman who was a better organizer and more intelligent that he was because that meant he was told what to do and how to do it, the theory being there would be less arguing. Verity proved to be flighty and a little lazy and dumber than Bob so when finding she was rather appalling in bed, choosing to lie cast and contributed nothing much beyond panting, he was rather elated when she asked did he mind her saying she might prefer your pal Tom Saddler.

As they sat at the table after dinner having this amicable conversation, Bob stupidly said he'd been about to ask Verity to move in with him. She expressed surprise and cupped her chin and said perhaps she would consider the best offer. She asked what was he offering?

"Er nothing," Bob said beginning to panic. "You just move in and do all the housework, cooking, do the roof when it needs repainting, attend to the trash..."

"Bob I must say this with as much kindness I can muster: Shove your offer."

Bob fought to conceal his relief.

Eyeing at his reddening face as she finished her coffee Verity said, "Oh you poor guy. I've offended you by turning you down and now you are angry with me."

Exhaling, Bob said he'd get over it.

They kissed goodbye outside Verity's apartment block, she making it quite clear this was their finale and he has not being invited up.

He gave her a little dig, "What no more sex?"

"Thankfully no; your problem is you don't know when to stop."

Bob mistook her disapproval for a huge compliment and almost swaggered to his new black all-wheel-drive Cadillac SRX that Verity adored.

In an attempt to make sure Verity did not return, Bob called Tom Saddler and said, "You skunk, I attempted a big hit on Verity Apple but was rebuffed. She told me she was going soft on you."

"Oh yeah? I thought the reverse applied. She told me you had zoom to burn."

"Well apparently she's off zoom."

They chatted and when running out of things to say inside ten minutes, Tom said, "Thanks for that tip off. I aim to give Verity all my attention."

At home Bob, feeling the passion of a freed man, looked at the local Real Estate newspaper insert from the morning's newspaper and when on his second whisky decided to put an offer on one of the four penthouses in the new Apollo apartment tower that was almost ready for occupancy. He called Linda Shadbolt, selling agent for the developer.

"Hi Bob, has it fallen off yet?"

They were old friends and used to fuck before he became engaged to Stella. Linda said she'd heard he'd sold his business and he said yeah, to a management buyout.

"Good money?

He was cagey and said he was happy. "Although I'm only forty-eight I am going to try early retirement."

"Are you calling about Apollo?"

"Yeah."

"The premium apartments with the river view are gone or are under contract but some of those agreements could be a mite shaky. I'll try some pressure to force a cancellation for you."

"What about a penthouse?"

Linda was good but he heard her suck in breath. He smiled.

"Which one would you like?"

He grinned and said it would depend on an inspection but first he wanted 15% off the advertised price.

"Bob I could try the CEO of the development company on that but I don't know. She may agree to 5%."

"Linda you need one of those sold to initiate further interest. Tell Mrs Vaughan I'll sign tomorrow at the advertised asking price less 15% and the only counter-offer I'm interested in hearing is an ever larger discount."

"I'll make sure she gets that message Bob. Um do you want me to come over now?"

"You're married to a great guy baby. Don't be stupid and risk it."

"Yeah right. What time do you wish me to call in the morning?"

"I'll meet you outside the entrance to Apollo at 8:00 sweetie. Let's get this cracking."

"Yea I agree. Listen I haven't said this but less fifteen is pretty close to current market price."

"Understood."

New day Bob and Linda agreed one apartment had the edge and he returned to her office and signed the preliminary agreement to buy Penthouse 1 for the asking price less 15%.

A couple of days later Bob received a call. The voice was that of a young woman.

"Mr Robert Doe?"

"Yes."

"I'm Rosalie Apple also known as Rosie Apple."

"Verity's daughter who was returning from overseas?"

"Correct, I arrived three days ago. I would like to meet."

"What coffee or lunch?"

"Over light lunch would be fine. I'll pay."

They agreed on the time and café.

A super looking chick with rosy cheeks and hand-sized boobs came up to the table and Bob decided she couldn't be but she said hi Mr Doe. He sprang to his feet.

"Miss Apple welcome. You are swell looking," Bob said, aghast his touch of sophistication had deserted him.

"Oooh and what it is about me that appeals?"

"Um you face," Bob said looking at her breasts and he looked up into a knowing smile.

Her eyes were bluest blue. He almost groaned. "May I call you Rosie?"

"Help yourself," she said with a thoughtful smile.

Bob had expected the meeting would be about her mom who would have given Rosie an earful about Bob Doe being the only date she'd had in years who really meant anything to her but that his sexual horsepower was too much for her. This chick would be wasting her time. Her mom would have to put up with being driven round in Tom's eight-year-old Ford Ranger pick-up and being taught to play poker and being asked to help in the garden.

"You must be enjoying been back home?" he asked, not knowing what else to say.

"Well yes, I was homesick. But without wishing to sound disloyal mom is so full of complaints. I never thought I'd hear this from an older women but she even complained about having too much sex."

"Er I have been dating your mom."

"Yes she told me and that she's dumped you for Tom Saddler in an effort to have a more leisurely life."

They looked at one another awkwardly and were saved by the arrival of a pimply-faced student with the menus.

The both waved away the menus. Rosie ordered chicken salad and Bob a steak sandwich. He ordered a light-alcohol French wine without consulting his companion.

As the young guy walked away tiredly, Rosie said charmingly, "You look very fit and lean for a guy your age."

"Well I do workout," Bob said proudly but was embarrassed when she said, "What on women including my mother?"

Bob took a deep breath and said sternly, "About the reason for this lunch. I'm not interested..."

"Don't disappoint me, I'll pay."

"What?" Bob said, his mind now filled with images of his hands around those two little puppies whereas two seconds earlier he was about to say he was not interested in taking back her mother, being certain that was what she was after.

Their wine arrived so they sat looking for the young guy to blunder but surprisingly he didn't break a glass or spill a drop or go cross-eyed attempting to ogle the old guy's daughter if that's who he thought she was.

"Cheers," said Bob.

She said cheers smiling at him sexily and taking a sip.

"God this is good. Little wonder you ordered despite me being your host."

"Eh?"

She sighed and said she'd invited him to lunch and had booked and had said she would pay. Normally the host ordered the wine or at least asked his or her guests about their preference.

"I usually order."

"Oh macho man," she said kindly and he apologized for being presumptuous. She said she'd only been teasing.

Bob was still nonplussed about why did she want to pay him for sex? With her looks and bright personality she could pull in almost any guy just by placing a hand on her hip and looking at him and smiling, lips parted.

"Bob... if I may call you that?"

"Yeah of course. Um I had expected Rosie to be a hated name because of the association with Apple and the childhood teasing that would have resulted?"

She looked at him curiously. "I hadn't expected sensitivity from you. Rosie is fine, my preference actually. Bob, mom told me you have just sold your job placement agency and you were acknowledged as the best in that business in this city. I hate going through the wasteful process of applying for jobs and wonder if you would consider attempting to secure a direct placement for me. I'll happily pay you a handsome fee."

Oh crap, thought Bob. Rosie wasn't intending to pay him for sex. She was attempting to use him to shoehorn her into a job. His sighed thinking what a lovely sight that would have been watching her ride him cowgirl, she smiling and pushing his hands into those cute little puppies. He looked at them forlornly.

She was staring at him.

God she'd kill him if she knew what he was thinking.

She smiled and said, "If you are interested in seeing them just ask. I'm very keen to get onside with you Bob."

Bob's head dropped in shame and he muttered, "What kind of job?"

"I have a BA in business management and gained extra credits in marketing. I have worked in office administration, events organizing and my last position in England was PA to one of the most successful commercial real estate agents in Manchester."

"Commercial property and you know about marketing?"

"Yes."

"How old are you?"

"I'll turn twenty-six near the end of the month."

Bob smiled and asked to be excused to make a call. He went outside and called Linda.

"Hi it's Bob Doe."

"Oooh you've decided to take a second penthouse?"

He laughed and said Linda had told him yesterday she was desperately overloaded because her right-hand woman had left her and she'd not had time to scout around for a replacement. Well he thought he'd found her.

"I really want a younger, vibrant woman who is energetic and can work unsupervised and is creative."

"I think this one could be all of that. She's almost twenty-six and has returned from England where she was PA to a commercial property guru in Manchester."

Linda sounded surprised. "How the hell are you talking to someone like that when you're out of the business?"

"Don't under-estimate my natural born charm and magnetic appeal."

Linda laughed and said she could see the kid at 3:30 but she'd better not be late because she had other appointments.

As Bob returned to the table he noticed Rosie sizing him up. Jesus the hottie was light years more advanced than her mother. He made sure Rosie noticed him checking his zip.

"I have you placed, subject to you interviewing well."

"What?"

Bob was pleased to have impressed, to be sending her mind into a tizz.

"You will have noticed the new Apollo apartment tower?"

"Yes, it looks almost completed. It must be in the top five tallest buildings in the city?"

"It's the third highest actually. I bought something in that tower yesterday off an old flame who selling agent for the developer. Her name is Linda Shadbolt. She can see you for a few minutes today at 3:30. Her temporary office is the apartment manager's office off the lobby, left hand side as you go in. Deliver the impression she expects from you within fifteen seconds and hand her your CV to read and with all of that meeting her expectations then the job will be yours."

"She'll want further interviews."

"No I said I vouch for you. She owes me."

"Oh god Bob, how can I thank you?"

Bob decided to settle way less that what he was thinking. "Just smile at me whenever we pass on the street. That will be enough. Now finish here and go home and change into something sexy. She is involved in selling high-price property and knows a lovely smile and a bit of tit and plenty of leg as well as a tight ass under a skirt does wonders even with female clients as you will be frontline in client liaison."

"Oh Bob you wonderful man. I'll pay you a thousand."

"Get off. This is complimentary. Just tell your mom and perhaps she won't think I'm such a jerk after all."

Rosie said breathlessly, "I can get her back to you if that's what you want?"

"Nah I'd rather have you."

Rosie just stared at him, leaving Bob quite surprised she hadn't puked.

Outside the restaurant Rosie went to kiss him on the lips but Bob turned his cheek and took it on that, wanting her to wonder why had he done that.

He said good luck and she said thank you for the tenth time. Bob watched her hurry off and stood watching. Just as he hoped she turned to look back and seemed surprised to see him standing in the same spot and staring in her direction. He waved and smiled, wanting her to think why had he been staring after her like that? You could never tell with women but Bob knew they found it difficult to cope with anything that perplexed them.

At 4:00 Bob was listing his home for sale with a Realtor when his phone went. He excused himself and took the call.

"Linda hired me on the spot."

"That's great. Congratulations."

"I don't know how to thank you."

"Just flash those rosy apples at me one day. Bye I have a Realtor with me."

He cut the call. The Realtor, an old buddy of Bob's, said that was an interesting request she'd overhead and asked what did it mean?

"Her breasts are the size of big apples."

"Oh my," tittered Barbara, quite embarrassed. That didn't put her off Bob, however. As she was leaving she said she thought one of her salespersons had a buyer who was the right fit to purchase Bob's property.

He called Marlene Denver a home décor consultant and invited her to dinner.

"And then what Bob?"

"You're married. My rule is never... "

"You are not up to date Bob. I have been divorced three years."

"Sorry to hear that Marlene. I want to give you the layout plan of my new apartment and give you a few requirements and to commission you to chose and install the furnishings and soft furnishings, The theme I require is modern laid-back sophisticated with general appeal. It's not intended as a bachelor's pad."

"Well why don't I come to your home? It will be more relaxing. I'll arrive at 7:30 with Chinese takeouts."

The arrangement worked well. Marlene had already toured throughout Apollo expecting to win business and was familiar with the penthouse apartments. After eating and completing the business consultation Bob said, "You were keen on me at college."

"I still am Bob but we were never that compatible. I do recall the sex was good."

"Sex? What's that?"

She removed her reading glasses and walked over and sat on his knee. "Give them a good squeeze while you kiss me darling. That gets me going."

Bob licked his lips and his hand snaked in.

"Wow you are still very muscular," Marlene said and did as instructed when Bob leered, "Feel further down for a muscle of perhaps greater interest to you."

Marlene was no longer as light as she had been all those years ago at college when Bob could walk her around a room pumping as he held her up high. At the first break he led her over to the sofa and she whimpered, "Pound me Bob."

He pleased the lady and she went home looking very pleased and exhausted.

For several nights in bed, drifting off to sleep, Bob wondered if he'd ever get a leg over young Rosie Apple. There was an age gap of twenty-two years and so she wouldn't want to be seen publicly with him but she had reason to be grateful and he'd made sure she knew he was interested in her puppies. Perhaps she knew how to show her gratitude to really please him. He needed just a bit of luck to be alone with her. The thought of sliding between her young thighs made him almost erupt.

"Christ if she knew how I thought she'd wouldn't come within a mile of this dirty old man," he sniffed. "How tragic."

Next day he picked up a letter addressed to him in a female's hand he didn't recognize.

'Dear Bob. I'm going so well in my role with Linda and she appears pleased with my performance so far. The time has come for me to reward you. I'm a little apprehensive being seen in your company locally because if that gets back to mom she'll throw me out of her apartment. May I suggest we go to Lake Peters and I'll hire a houseboat from Friday night through to Sunday mid-afternoon? I will supply everything. None of mom's friends are likely to venture up there... it's a five hour drive from the city and very remote. My phone number is written below. Please decide yes and give me a call with you preferred weekend. The weekend after this coming one would suit me fine. Your lovely young friend, Rosie.'

Bob felt quite excitement but then thought about his Little Darling viewing his aging body, not that she was little because Rosie was his height although she'd weigh less but that was how nature intended in the architectural design for sexual reproduction. With those sobering thoughts he knew he'd not be howling at the moon that night in primeval triumph. He chose do something more positive: He called her.

"Hi it's Bob."

He heard the gasp.

"Sorry is this an inconvenient moment?"

"No, I'm in my bedroom reading. It's just that I've been nervous wondering if I'd gone too far and you'd think I was a slut."

"Rosie please, there's nothing wrong with sluts but just think of yourself as being sweet and virginal. Don't be scared of the unknown. I'll tell you right now that it's an unbelievable offer and I'm in a daze."

He could hear her breath deeply. "A daze, why?"

"I find it unbelievable you'd initiate spending a weekend away with me."

Her voice sounded happier when she replied, "May I tell you something without you getting mad Bob."

"Sure, shoot."

"I've seen the way you look at me so intently that I imagine fire burning within you. It makes my feel weak at the knees."

"I would have been looking at your tits or butt."

"My butt? Naughty boy Bob Doe," she giggled and added, "What's this about looking at my tits; men only like big tits? I'm practically deformed up there compared with most of my girlfriends."

"I prefer small tits and your are exactly right. They look the size of big apples.

Her huge swallow was transmitted to his ear, loud and clear.

"B-Bob, my knees have turned to jelly and I'm not even standing on them."

"Touch you pussy."

"What?"

"Haven't you got one?"

She giggled and said he was a naughty man. "Okay, I'm doing that."

"Now push in a finger."

He heard her breathe out and then, "Yes. I'm doing that."

He said was it moist and she said yes, moister that usual unless a guy had been working her up.

"Then you are ready for me Rosie Apple. That is great news. Bye. Oh going away Friday week will be fine, really fine."

"Bob you can't leave me like this."

He laughed and told her to find a toy.

"I want to see you tomorrow and every day thereafter."

He said no. They should not meet till he called for her on Friday week. They should allow their thoughts about their lusty weekend together build.

"Will it be a lusty weekend?" she whispered.

"If that's what you want. I have the desire to act the role of a dirty old man with you my sweet apple."

"Oh Bob," she groaned and panted slightly. "I don't need a toy. May I phone you every day?"

"Yes," Bob said, ending the call, pleased he'd set in motion a process that would give Rosie plenty of opportunity to think about her proposed dirty weekend so she could pull the plug on it as soon as serious doubt set in.

But her excitement remained undiminished and he gave her one more chance to bolt, arranging to meet her on Pioneer at the side entrance to the bus station.

"Why there?"

To make it easy for her to bolt when she saw him arriving, that's why, but he wouldn't tell her that. "It's a straight drive through to the highway that connects with the route to the mountains. It will be Friday afternoon remember, as busy as."