Bound to My Mate Ch. 20

"Is she alive?" I asked, ready to run to the infirmary.

"No," Paul answered softly.

"Why?" I asked confused.

"She wrote a note. She has never stopped believing we were like those that took her initially. The thought of being forced to live that way terrified her. She had been looking for a way out of her choosing, permanently."

He sighed and continued, "When we told the other women, they weren't surprised. One of them told us she believed the choice of when and how to die should belong to them. Another of them broke in front of us, screaming we could take their freedom, but not their souls. After their outbursts this morning, I'm not sure how many of them really trust us."

"Get Rick and April," I said looking at Joel, "send them in to talk with these women."

"We have spoken with them many times, Madam Alpha," Paul said to me keeping his head low. "I'm not sure what these two wolves could say that would be different."

"Are you questioning my mate?" Joel growled.

"I only wished to say we have tried talking to them. It is not as though we have left them to their own devices. It is my Alpha's ability in this matter I seek to protect, sir," Paul said with his shoulders curling forward.

Paul was doing everything he could to look submissive in front of Joel. Having had Joel's jaws around my own neck, I understood his impetus. Now was not the time for a power game, though, so I interrupted them.

"I have someone in my pack that is very good at this, exceptionally good at this, Paul. His mate is one of the humans we found. Call Cedric, Joel. He needs to give Rick and April unrestricted access to his women. We have to fix this before we subject these women to the mating game," I said looking at Joel.

I left the kitchen with Rick and April in tow several minutes later. Rick seemed confused to be told he wasn't working in the kitchen today. As we walked upstairs following Paul, Rick spoke up.

"Madam Alpha, am I not doing a good job in the kitchens?" he asked. "I'm not a great cook, but I've learned to cut and section meat. I do it well, most of the time. Has Margaret complained?"

"You and I both know your talents are wasted in the kitchen, Rick," I told him. "You are only there to make friends, which I hope you are doing."

He seemed relieved, but still confused. "Yes, I have new friends. Margaret tries to let me do the food service so I meet more of the pack, but I'm not very good at it. I dropped a tray of drinks yesterday. I haven't learned the correct way to balance one," he said. "What am I doing now, though, if I may ask?"

We turned down the corridor leading to the suites the Benson pack were using and April spoke up.

"It's the women," she said softly. "There is a problem with the women. You want Rick to fix it, the way he fixed us."

We had reached the door the women were waiting behind and I nodded turning to face them. Paul stepped down the hall to greet the other Betas there. They were all watching Rick and April with interest. I know what they saw, a small human woman and a young male wolf. Neither of them looked like anything special.

"Rick, one of the women killed herself today, the other women don't trust us. We need them to see this our way," I said feeling guilty.

I knew what I was asking Rick to convince them to do. Give up their families and their past, just pick up and start over with us. In my heart I didn't believe it was fair. If it had been my choice, I probably would just have let them all go.

"Madam Alpha," Rick said quietly, "may I speak to you."

Oh Luna, he was going to refuse. He probably felt like I did and didn't want to play the mind games to make these women see it our way.

Oh well, we'd do the mating thing and try to keep them alive until they left our territory.

"Of course, Rick, say what ever you need to," I said sounding defeated even to myself.

Rick stepped uncomfortably close to me, but I held my ground. He leaned forward until he was literally whispering in my ear. His breath on my neck made weird little shivers run down my spine. It was disconcerting.

"It's not my place to tell this to you, Madam Alpha," he said quietly, glancing at the Betas lining the hall, "so I apologize if it seems rude. I get the feeling from you that you think what I do for these women is somehow wrong or a trick."

I was surprised with his assessment, but nodded my agreement.

"It's not," he said, "I've been reading our history in the library on my off time."

"A long time ago, they would occasionally let the humans that stumbled onto us leave. We were lucky when all that happened was the human returned. Horrible things were set in motion when the humans stayed away."

"They tried to forget us, but they couldn't. Most were driven to madness and in their insanity they talked. People would come and hunt us based on the ravings of these crazy humans."

"In the end, we would have to find everyone the human had told, plus the original human. The packs ended up slaughtering everyone that knew. Entire villages were wiped out."

I was shocked and sucked in a gasp, but Rick continued to speak.

"There is something about facing a creature they don't know exists that changes the way these people view the world. We are powerful and fantastic to them, but we do not appear in their history or their beliefs. It is as though everything they have been told is a lie. They begin to doubt. Soon their ability to discern fantasy from reality evaporates. Eventually they can't function in their normal lives and their world falls into bedlam."

Rick took a step back and lowered his head submissively in front of me.

"Why did you look all this up?" I asked him.

"I wanted to understand why it was so important they stayed," he said, "I saw the guilt in your eyes when you spoke to them. Part of me wondered if such an emotion did not have merit. Perhaps what we were doing was wrong, perhaps what I had helped do was wrong."

"I apologize if I was not clear with you, Rick. I am grateful you saved our women. Please save these women."

"Of course, Madam Alpha, I will do my best. It was important to me that you understand why we do this, though," Rick said meeting my gaze briefly before lowering his eyes.

He was right. There was no way to return to a normal life after this. If we let the women go, they would be always be afraid some not so imaginary creature was waiting for them. The fear would leave them unable to live a normal life. Madness was probably a blessing at that point.

"Rick," I said laying a hand on his shoulder, "you are wiser than your years. Please help these women accept us."

"Of course, my Alpha," Rick said taking April's hand and stepping in to greet the humans from the Benson pack.

I stayed in the hall for a while after Rick went inside. Part of me expected shouting or screaming, I don't know why. These women just seemed angrier than ours ever had.

"They've had longer to dwell," Joel said leaning on the wall beside me.

I hadn't heard him sneak up on me and evidently I had been broadcasting my thoughts to him.

"You pushed into my mind and reached out to me when Rick invaded your personal space," Joel said. "Evidently your wolf wanted me to know why another male was that close to you."

"He is very perceptive," I told Joel watching the door Rick had disappeared behind.

"Much more so than me and I find that disturbing," Joel said laying his arm around my shoulders. "I had no idea you felt guilty over convincing the women to stay. It never even occurred to me to explain that to you."

"I probably should have told you, but I didn't know how to say it," I admitted.

It really was embarrassing. I should have thought to check the library for the pack's history. Of course there was a documented reason for the way they acted. My thoughts on the matter distracted me and I suddenly noticed Joel was in front of me.

He had moved directly into my sight line as I stood against the wall. He placed his hands on either side of my head and leaned in.

"I would much prefer," he said coming closer, "to be the one to explain things to you."

He started to place little kisses along my cheeks and over my ears. A long swipe of his tongue up my neck generated a long shiver from deep within me.

"This side smells of Rick now," he said coming closer and crowding me against the wall. "I find it very...upsetting."

I looked up into his eyes and took a hand off the wall placing it against my neck. I leaned forward until our lips were barely touching and spoke.

"Then mark me yourself, pack leader."

I felt Joel grin against my mouth and then he sighed.

"Cedric," Joel said straightening up, "wonderful to see you again this morning. Your timing is optimal, as always."

"Ah, young love," Cedric answered grinning broadly, "must you come down to this hallway and remind my poor fellows what they are missing out on at home?" he asked gesturing to the gathering Betas at the end of the hall.

Joel grinned and pulled me against his side shrugging. Cedric just rolled his eyes at the gesture.

"I have noticed," Cedric said conspiratorially dropping his voice, "the wonderful little cameras you have set up everywhere. All the public areas seem to be well covered, including the room our guests are having their meeting in."

Cedric looked toward the closed door in front of us and Joel smiled, nodding.

"That small seating area seemed ideal for their conversation, as well as, for us," Cedric continued.

"I was assured the cameras would be unobtrusive," Joel said. "Do you find them otherwise?"

"No, no," Cedric said waving his hand, "quite the opposite. I did not see them, one of my astute young wolves did. He's had quite a fun time pointing them out to me. No one else even noticed them."

Cedric glanced up at the camera for this hall and waved at it. "They would have been useful several months ago when my Dia was acting badly," he finished.

"Would you like to see my security suite, Cedric?" Joel asked casually gesturing toward the main hall.

"Why Joel, how generous of you," Cedric said motioning to several of the Betas down the hall to come and for the rest to stay.

We walked quietly into the security suite and everyone stood up. They had obviously been expecting the entourage, they would have seen us coming on the cameras. Joel directed one of the men to set up a a viewing of the camera we were interested in inside a conference room.

The security men seemed to take issue with the strangers in our midst. They cautiously stood in front of their monitors and watched Cedric's Betas warily.

"George would be most interested to learn about your set up here, Joel," Cedric said motioning to a younger man with him. "I would like to have a similar arrangement."

"Nate," Joel said motioning for his second in command, "set George up with whatever information he wishes. These are friends and can be trusted."

We left the Betas and went in the conference room with Cedric. As the door closed Cedric cast an eye at Joel.

"Some of the other Alphas wouldn't mind having a piece of your territory, Joel," he said bluntly.

"Which is why I would never invite them to view this with me in this room," Joel said settling into a chair. "I rue the day I cannot trust my mentor and my father's best friend."

"Just so your young mate is aware, Joel," Cedric said taking his own seat. "I am quite impressed with the security you have here. You have taken to modern technology so well. I would hate to see someone confuse Elizabeth and take advantage."

"Thank you for your concern," I said politely and took my own chair.

I got the message, ask Joel before answering questions about our security. It was good advice, I had to admit.

Joel had been right. The old Alpha was always in charge and always teaching. Considering how he still sometimes addressed Joel as 'young man', I wondered how young he must think I was.

On the monitor, Rick didn't seem to be making much headway with the women. They refused to talk to him. Never one to miss a golden opportunity, he took the time to catch up with April.

They sat on a love seat holding hands and talking. I knew they didn't spend as much time together since Rick had been in the kitchens. Both of them were enjoying each other now.

Rick asked April all about her new job. April went into intricate details describing the ball gown she was making for one of the rich women in town. She had never been commissioned to make something like this before. It was amazing to her, she loved her new job.

Even in school April had never been told designing could be like this. Her family had told her fashion design was a dead field. Wistfully, she said she wished they could see her now; it just wasn't possible. She was in a position she had dreamed of.

The women started yelling. The wolves were liars and frauds. They had seen their true colors. April was not a human and she was not happy.

I nearly went back down there when April used the sharp end of an antique letter opener to slice her arm open from elbow to wrist. The wound bled furiously. April sat on the couch and watched it, only sometimes blotting the excess away with a tissue.

"Nobody checked the room for sharp objects before you put the suicidal women in there?" I asked quietly.

Neither man answered me. They were engrossed with the monitor.

Finally, Rick healed the scratch with a long lick of his tongue.

"A wolf would have healed from that," one of the women said quietly. "It probably would have been healed by the time the end of the cut was made if she was a wolf. The wolves that took me originally fought all the time. A cut like that never would last."

So it began. They started to talk to Rick and April stayed quiet beside him. She understood this was his show, her part was done. It was like they had planned to use her as an ice breaker.

Once the women started talking, they couldn't stop. They screamed and cried and told Rick every fear they had. The nightmares, the terror, and the loss they all felt came spilling out at him. He absorbed and dealt with all of it.

In a room of five women near out of control with panic, he calmed each of them individually. It was amazing to watch. He never forgot a name or confused who told him what story. He used what they told him to lead them all to the same conclusion.

They had to live, surviving was the only way to win this battle.

"But we want to live and go home," one of the women wailed. "I have a family. They deserve to know I'm all right."

Rick calmly talked to them. He asked them all the questions their families would ask. He asked them how their families would feel if they disappeared a second time; it would happen eventually.

"You've agreed to the change, now. If we let you return home, how will you explain to them you don't age like them anymore?" he asked calmly. "You won't, you know, we live many hundreds of years. The aging process is markedly slower."

I stopped breathing for a moment. Joel had never said I couldn't see my family anymore. I'd always just assumed I could. How would I explain to my observant aunts and cousins why I didn't get the characteristic family age lines? Would my drunk father notice I didn't really seem to change year to year?

Sitting next to Joel I went through the same grieving process the women were going through. I had to disappear, too. It wouldn't be hard. My family was distant, they only saw me every few years. It would take them a long time to realize I was gone. Tears formed in my eyes as I silently said goodbye to them.

"I will share my family with you, mate. I know it is not the same, but it is all I can do," Joel said repeating Paul's words from the day before. "You may have everything I have, it is all yours."

Heedless of the visiting Alpha beside us, I crawled into Joel's lap and cried. Lost in shock, I sat and listened to what Rick said.

"Your families will accept your disappearance eventually. It is human nature to heal and move on from tragedy," he told the women and they screamed at him.

Their relatives would never move on. I rallied with them, but had no conviction in my thoughts. My family would barely notice I was gone, I knew that. Perhaps the other women were not so lucky.

"They will or they won't," Rick said, "but the more you appear and disappear out of their lives, will that make it harder or easier?"

"We could be normal, if you just left us alone," one woman cried on her knees by the fireplace. "We don't need to be like you."

"Would you walk down a dark street anymore?" Rick asked the group. "Would you go camping? Sleep alone? Would you suspect every nightmare fantasy you have ever had could come true? Do you believe in monsters now? Are you strong enough to face them on your own?"

One woman had been pacing quietly by the window, I feared she would jump if the window was open. Joel told me the Betas outside the door would not let her get that far. If they heard it open, they would enter or Rick would stop her.

"Are vampires real?" she asked quietly.

"Does it matter?" Rick asked. "Did you know about werewolves? In five minutes won't another mythical creature permeate your senses and you will be terrified of that one? I beg you to accept your lives have changed. The only way to deal with it is to stay with us; we can help you, protect you, and guide you."

It continued for hours. The women went round and round with Rick until they each came to the same conclusion. They were not the same, their worlds had changed, and they could never go back to the way it was.

The women sat around the room in huddled piles. Some clung to each other, some sat by themselves. Rick circulated the room and touched each of them. When none of them recoiled from him, he went to the door and asked for five of Cedric's Betas.

Rick directed each of them to a woman. I felt unsure the women would accept comfort from their captors. Wasn't this Stockholm syndrome? Shouldn't this be wrong?

I had to remind myself it was not a bad thing. These women would not survive without us. Their acceptance was paramount in importance.

We watched as Rick directed each Beta to a specific woman. He instructed them to hold the women and let them talk if they needed to.

"How did you know?" one human wailed burying her face into the chest of the female Beta holding her.

"It is what I'm good at," Rick said looking up at the camera in the room.

"What do you want for him?" Cedric asked turning in our direction.

"I'm not trading him Cedric, his home is here," Joel responded.

My mind was still too full of grief to really comprehend. It took a moment to realize they were talking about Rick.

"Hmph," Cedric huffed, "you've got the boy working in the kitchen, Joel. He has no use to you obviously. Let him come with me. I will train him to his full potential."

"You'd make him into a negotiator, Cedric. Look at the boy, he's a healer at heart. His drive to read people is based on a sincere desire to help. He has no interest in business. Rick would wither and fail in a corporate setting," Joel scoffed.

It felt odd sitting in a business meeting on Joel's lap, but he wouldn't let me leave. Honestly, I was glad he was holding me tight. I needed his closeness right now, because it felt like I was going to fall apart.

"Perhaps we should have something to eat," I heard Rick say on the monitor. "I'm sure they would bring us something."

Joel pressed a button beside him and Nate appeared in the doorway of our conference room.

"Rick is asking for food. Send them a selection," Joel ordered.

"Chocolate," I said looking up, "send them something sweet, too."

Joel and Cedric both looked at me confused.

"Human women sometimes like to have something sweet to eat when they are upset. It's not a good habit, but it happens."