Bounty Hunter and the Jedi Ch. 01

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Phara found Ahsoka in the galley area, she thought to make her presence known at first but then decided to observe her. It took a few moments for Ahsoka to finally notice Phara in the doorway and got a bit fidgety wondering how long Phara was watching her. Phara broke the silence and asked "so what have you decided?" Ahsoka responded "I choose to live and fight on." I realize I could have died today, but due to your intervention I didn't, I thank you for that. I don't know what I want to do for the long term, but I would like to stay here for a while if you'll have me. Although there is a favor I would like to ask. Phara figuring what Ahsoka was about to ask said "you'd like to get to Polis Massa in time to meet up with the one who left you the message." Ahsoka sadly said rubbing her shoulder "yes."

Phara smiled and said "My business on Coruscant has been completed and I wouldn't mind having some company on board that I wasn't bringing in on a bounty at least for a while." As for what you ask, it seems I have some business on Polis Massa so we'll leave as soon as the cargo we are to bring there arrives. Phara more business like said "but I will expect you to earn your keep." Ahsoka brightened hearing this "I will."

Phara handed Ahsoka a bag of groceries and said "would you mind helping put some of this food away?" Ahsoka accepted the bag and followed Phara.

Phara said as they unpacked the groceries "I am expecting the cargo to arrive shortly. Do you think if I handle bringing it in from the outside you can handle the repulsor cart on the inside?" Ahsoka said "I will need help going over how to operate a repulsor cart." Phara nodded in understanding said "sure no problem I need to have a look at it myself."

Primeday the 11th, 5th month, 18:45, Coruscant, Phara's YT-1300

Phara hearing a nearby panel beep and after examining the panel briefly manipulated it and the image of Balbo appeared on the screen. Phara said "oh hello Balbo I be right with you." Phara made a brief stop in the secondary cargo hold to get some equipment and the remaining credit chips before joining Balbo outside.

Balbo said as he handed the package over to Phara "as promised one identification package." Phara accepted the package and opened it finding Ahsoka's identification as well as a new one with the name of "Suzuka Tam'il." Phara took out a portable identification reader from a pocket and inserted the "Suzuka Tam'il" identification.

Balbo asked "my credits?" Phara responded simply "hang on I want to check the quality of the work." After Phara pressed a number of keys the device reported the identification information passed all known checks. Afterwards Phara removed the "Suzuka Tam'il" identification and started examining the physical characteristics. After a few minutes Phara asked "what about the DNA references?" Balbo responded wincing "I managed to get in and erase the references for Ahsoka Tano and copied information to the "Suzuka Tam'il" identification file." There is a catch though. Phara replied curious "do explain?" Balbo explained "if the old identification is used the DNA information will be updated for the old identification and after if the new identification is used it will raise a red flag. Also if the new identification is used the DNA information will be updated for it and then if you use the old identification it will cause a red flag.

Phara nodded in understanding and after she was satisfied the "Suzuka Tam'il" identification was of high quality she dug in her jacket pocket and pulled out the remaining credit chips handing them off to Balbo. Balbo smiling at this said "pleasure doing business with you." Balbo then walked off for points unknown.

Phara headed back up the boarding ramp and back inside the ship. She casually walked to through the galley area when she finally ran into Ahsoka. Ahsoka asked "was that the cargo we were supposed to get?" Phara responded handing both identifications over "no, something I talked to a certain acquaintance about got delivered." Ahsoka looked curious took a moment to examine the identification cards. Phara said "I forgot I had your identification when I was out today and then I though since Ahsoka Tano should get lost for a while you could use new identification."

Ahsoka looked at the "Suzuka Tam'il" identification for a while then embraced Phara whispering quietly "thank you." Phara said "a couple of things you should know about that identification." As my acquaintance explained if you were to use the old identification for whatever reason and then your new identification it will cause a red flag to pop up in the database the same is true if you use the old identification then the new identification. It's all a matter of the DNA information being updated as he said. So store your real identification away somewhere safe and only ever use "Suzuka Tam'il" identity when going out in public.

Ahsoka nodded taking in the information. Phara then said cautiously "if you want as well I will register you as the copilot of this ship, and a student if you want." Ahsoka replied curiously "a student of what?" Phara replied "I am a bounty hunter you see." Ahsoka winced at hearing that not knowing what to say. After a few minutes Ahsoka said "I don't know how to feel about being your student, I have had multiple run-ins with bounty hunters in the past and they never turned out well."

Phara said "I don't blame you for your skepticism, but not all bounty hunters are killer types that would slit your throat at the slightest provocation." Have you thought of your options right now? Of course at Polis Massa you would have better chances than here on Coruscant of surviving. Though all you have right now are some clothes, your lightsabers, and whatever weapons you selected from my collection. Your main options for getting basic necessities as I see them are some mundane task that makes just barely enough credits to sustain yourself, selling your combat skills, and then selling your body for any other being's pleasure.

Phara sad more tenderly "I haven't known you long Ahsoka, but I do like you and thinking of you going through the trauma involved in any of those options just makes me feel bad." Ahsoka had a stunned look on her face at hearing that not knowing what to say. Phara said "I know I'm surprised I feel that way to considering I am a bounty hunter." Ahsoka took a few minutes to think and said "whatever I do to survive, I am still a jedi so I will not take a life without good reason." Phara said "I wouldn't expect anything less."

Primeday the 11th, 5th month, 19:21, Coruscant, Phara's YT-1300

A call of "hello is there a Miss Black here?" came from down the boarding ramp. Phara smiled a bit saying "well that should cargo we are hauling to Polis Massa." Phara went to go sign for the medical supplies while Ahsoka waited being careful not to be seen from the bottom of the boarding ladder. Phara came up a few minutes later datapad in hand and said "ok let's bring it in through the forward cargo bay." The pair walked to the forward cargo bay Ahsoka stayed back in the forward cargo bay itself while Phara stepped into the cargo loading room and manipulated the controls next to the doorway to cause the forward cargo ramp to open and unfold itself to the ground level.

Phara took the repulsor cart from where it was hooked against the wall in the cargo loading room and took it back to the forward cargo hold. After a few attempts with Ahsoka's help the repulsor cart was finally assembled and activated. Then with a little experimentation the two figured out the controls and Phara then stepped out and activated the control lowered the forward cargo ramp. A few minutes later she came back up with the first of nine crates. Phara carefully slid the crate on the repulsor car Ahsoka had positioned and said "off you go, just line them up against the back wall start at the corner."

Ahsoka took a few minutes to get the feel of the repulsor cart and then easily pulled the crate into the forward cargo bay. Ahsoka then started setting the crates as Phara asked occasionally feeling some pain in her sides as she worked. After the cargo was secured Phara went and made sure her BARC was ready for travel in its cargo container. Ahsoka worked to secure the repulsor cart with a little help from Phara.

Phara walked back up the forward cargo ramp pressing a few buttons on the control panel which caused the forward cargo ramp to fold up and secure itself. After Phara made a brief check of the pressure seals she found one of the boarding ramps still open. Phara and Ahsoka walked from the forward cargo bay. Phara stopped briefly to press a few buttons on a different control panel by the open boarding ramp which caused it to raise and secure itself. Phara checked the pressure seals from that same control panel and after she was satisfied walked to the flight deck.

Phara sat down in the pilot's seat already finding Ahsoka strapping herself in at the copilot's seat. The pair carefully went through the preflight checklist and with little ceremony lifted off, the landing skids retracting and then the main engine roared to life taking them sub orbital in just a few minutes.

Ahsoka admired the view while Phara rather intently went through the motions of getting the calculations for hyperspace coordinates from the navicomputer and programming the coordinates into the hyperdrive. After everything was set to go Phara said "would you like the honors my dear?" Ahsoka replied "which control is it?" Phara pointed out the control in the center panel and directed her how to operate it. Ahsoka smiled and manipulated the controls as Phara directed and the hyperspace drive engaged.

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10 Comments
lioness_71lioness_71about 11 years ago
Congrats

Congratulations on becoming a Literotica author.

Good first story, very detailed and descriptive. Waiting for ch 2.

WereHeartWereHeartover 12 years ago
Really good

More please!!

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago

There is no need to put the full description for everything. Once you've established it, you can just leave it as "med droid" or "droid" for example.

Also, don't leave speech stuck in the middle of the paragraph. Make it separate. Otherwise it's hard to read clearly.

Other than that, i'm interested to see how it goes.

Keep Trying! :)

Qeda_CharlemaigneQeda_Charlemaignealmost 13 years ago
Trying to be helpful

I know that I'm no where near the perfect writer, but you should pick a tense and do your best to stick with it, love.

There was too much past-and-present tense going on.

An example (not a direct quote): She looked (past tense) around the cargo bay and then reaches (present tense) into her bag to pull (present) out her blaster and then she fired (past) into the approaching bodies.

See how that jumps around?

Also, be VERY careful of your run-on sentences. There were simply too many, "and then"s in your sentences.

The story line was an awesome job in the imagination department!

As was said before, KEEP WRITING! Keep asking for and accepting criticism and pointers. THAT is the mark of a good writer. ;-)

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 13 years ago
When will there be more

this was cool and i just want to know when the next will be out

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