Bows and Hunters

Women are the Bows, Men are the Hunters

Women are the bow. They're curved, strung with care. They know they're beautiful, but it can get lonely...they have this string...and they know it's there for a really good reason, but they can't reach it themselves. The Hunter can't help looking at this creation and knowing she's constructed for one thing in particular.

Men are the hunters, they love weapons, love the chase, love the hunt, love the stories around the campfire, especially if they're whispered in awe and have his name in it. They love to talk about the hunt, tell tall tales and be a Hunter of Stature among the Hunters that sit and tell stories and listen.

Okay, so there's the archetype of Aragorn from The Lord of The Rings. He's a ranger, he's competent, he's quietly mythic and can kick the hell out of things without making a sound. He's dirty and he has wide shoulders. You know this man loves his bow. You know he carved it out of some mystic wood that an overheated dryad just laid down at his feet to try to get his attention.

This bow is never out of arm's reach. This bow is the difference between victory on the hunt and having to eat berries for dinner. He would never use another bow. He makes his own arrows, polishes her wood and keeps her dry in the rain, probably sings and knows his bow is listening. He's not afraid of poetry or pain and has had lots of both.

He has a sword, but that's for battle. For the hunt, he just loves his hands on a bow and understands that partnership, that need, to have something so beautifully made. He knows every inch of that bow and is able to trace his history along the carvings and runes he's added and the nicks she's gotten from the rough battles where he almost died and she almost shattered. He knows exactly how far he can pull her strings so his arm is straining and she's about to snap

So that's the ideal, right? Man knows the value of his woman, cares for her, spends time with her, loves her. They're both fulfilling their purpose and happy with it. Of course there are other bows. But this is HIS bow. His blood has glossed the wood, she fits him.

Of course any bow in his hands would look good, but he's stopped worrying about whether or not the bow's image suits him. He focuses on the hunt itself. It's not about the hunter or the bow any more, it's about their experiences in the Forest and the stories he can tell at the end of the day.

The Basics:

A bow is a beautiful thing, curves and the promise of kinetic power. The potential to direct so much force if the hunter has the skill to pull back, back, back...hold it...find the target...let go at exactly the right moment. It's not necessary to never miss, but the bow would be lying if she said it never matters. She knows what she's made for, she's beautiful, and abhors the hands of the incompetent and disrespectful on her curves.

She does not want any arrow to be nocked on her without careful planning and concentration. She honors speed and agility as well as strength and force. She thrills to taking on new challenges and watching her Hunter become better at something and enjoy what he's already good at. Weaknesses are to be overcome, not evaded.

She hates half-assed Hunters who never look where they're going and bitch about how the Forest is out to get them all the time. The kind of moron who keeps napping in poison ivy, never noticing the shiny leaves and complaining every day about how the Forest did it. The kind of idiot that leaves her out in the rain until she warps.

Silence and competence are Golden. She is a sacred weapon that allows her Hunter the distance, speed and accuracy that can bring down things that he could never get close enough to on his own, and might kill him if he tried. She's happiest when her string vibrates a lot.

The Hunter is a beautiful thing, hunger and motivation. He knows the joy of eating meat with his fingers after choosing the right prey, crafting his arrows with care and using his bow with an economy of alternating stealthy grace and explosive force. His favorite places are wide open, he knows the moon and the stars, the sun, the dawn and the twilight and he would rather sleep on the ground and feel the pulse of the earth than be inside.

Except when it's pouring. I mean, he's not stupid, just elemental. He's happiest when he knows he is the guardian of all he surveys, that he has control over every aspect of life that he has encountered, or at least controls his fears about them. He is bereft without a challenge. He has learned respect for the wild. He has a hunger for the lessons and the challenges the Forest holds for him every day.

Commonly Encountered Bow Types:

The Titanium Bow:

Unbeknownst to our Hunter, the bow has gotten herself dipped in titanium-reinforced concrete. He's a Hunter, so he's up for a challenge. But he's a human without benefit of a Mech suit, which is the only way this would be fair. He can't pull back on her string, he can try until he strains something. She did the whole titanium thing for this one moment, so she can say:

"You're pathetic. You're so weak. You couldn't possibly ever hit anything with your shitty aim. Loser. I don't know why I tolerate you, you don't deserve me. Lick my boot and like it, you're my bitch."

Some Hunters flock to the Titanium bow to be abused because it feels so good to be addressed by something so strong. Some wily hunters work out on her, build up their arm muscles and ignore her tirades. This pisses the bow off, but what is she going to do? She's encased in freakin' Titanium. It's not like she'll ever serve any other good purpose again unless she busts out of there.

One day, though, she's gonna shatter, and a lot of Hunters guys are going to want to laugh on that day and dance on the concrete dust, maybe carry some of her rubble in their medicine pouch as a reminder. The myth of the Titanium Bow is passed down around the campfire. Sometimes it's just one Hunter saying "Oh, HER? She's easy. Yeah, I pulled her. She wanted me to do it again, but I said no. We killed some wild shit that day, but I had better things to do." Sometimes it is a wiser hunter to a younger hunter as a cautionary tale, but youth is too stupid and horny and all it says is "Titanium! Shiny! COOL!"

The Work Of Art:

There's a type of bow that thinks that all bows should be delicate and fragile. She truly believes she is the only perfect Bow, and that those other strong bows really only want to be Hunters, not that there's anything wrong with that. (This is said in a whisper behind a pale hand.) She's made out of carefully arranged sugar crystals and a single piece of fine hair (dyed blond).

Any attempt to touch this bow results in cracking, shattering, snapping. The Hunter is nonplussed. The only thing to do with this type of bow if she is seriously committed to this approach is to get her a glass case and clap when you go by. That's all she wants.

Commonly Encountered Hunter Types:

The Vicious Prick:

This guy likes to go shoot animal babies and pets in the suburban back yards surrounding the forest. He likes to wound them so he can watch them bleed slowly to death and savor his power. He couldn't care less about the bow, he just knows that the cops would come if he were to do this up close, so he needs one to get what he wants. Bows are a dime a dozen. Take one, kill something, ditch it when it whines. This Hunter is often to be found with the blind, weak bow.

She has a sick little feeling every time she hears those awful sounds.

"Um...that sounded awfully like a kitten dying..."

"No, no, baby. There's a big bad wolf out here, I told you. He's out there killing all the kittens. I shot at him, but he had gotten to the kitten first. It's horrible...that kitten is just...bleeding..." His voice is obscene and she can hear it.

"The last one sounded like a puppy..."

"I swear, you're so ungrateful. I'm out here doing all the work! You'd never go anywhere if it weren't for me! There, now you made me miss because you were fucking talking. That wolf is going to be out here and all those kittens and puppies you love so much are going to die because you're a stupid bitch who won't shut up."

He likes to snap her strings off every day to prove to her how weak she is and how much she needs him.

The Gentle Hunter:

This hunter is a vegetarian. Sometimes a genuine vegetarian, sometimes the sort of vegetarian that swims in ground beef at night when nobody is looking. The hunt is a horrible, horrible thing brought upon the Bow by the Patriarchy. Bows are so oppressed by their own wicked desires. The Forest has rejected Hunters and Bows because all are unworthy to eat, breathe or be happy. We must all be guilty. Yes, very guilty. "You must unstring yourself and sit still. Careful! You almost stepped on an ant! Ant stepping is a serious sin.

I'm the one who really understands the Forest. The Forest talks to me. You need me to tell you all your sins so I can intervene on your behalf with the Forest so it will not punish you, even though you are basically evil anyway. There, that's so much better, don't you feel better without that messy string? You're such a pretty bow, but you're not smart like me. All that emotion is not good for you. It's unattractive. Here, have some tofu. Don't worry, I would never dream of touching your string, I have too much respect for you."

Conversations:

The Wrong Answer:

Bow: Does this string make me look fat?

Hunter: Oh my God, you're so insecure. Can't you think about anything else but yourself for two seconds?

The Right Answer:

Bow: Does this string make me look fat?

Hunter: There is nothing you could wear that could ever make me think that you are less than absolutely beautiful. Anyone who ever made you think that it's your clothes that makes you attractive, they're saying that because they're stupid or jealous and they can't buy what you have. They can only buy clothes to cover up what they're missing. Ask me that question all day long and you'll get the same answer. On the day I don't answer that way, you have permission to cast me aside because I've gone senile. Then you could find someone who appreciates you the way you should be appreciated.

Warning to amateur Hunters. If you can't pull this off, don't try. Really. It's a bad idea. You just can't fake that confidence or sincerity. It'll get you killed. Start small. Start with looking her in the eyes and saying "No, you look great, but you always look great to me. I'm just a stupid guy, I don't know clothes, but I know what I like. Wear what makes you happy." Build up from there until you find you are actually saying what you feel and not what you see.

There is an alternate Right Answer, that's the Hunter who genuinely knows clothes and likes to dress his Bow up. Then you can go shopping together and you never have to ask again, you've been pre-opinioned. Then the answer "If you don't love it, let's go get something new that makes you feel the way you feel today" is perfect. Usually these guys are gay, though.

The Wrong Answer:

Hunter: I just need to say something. You varnish yourself too much for me. Honestly, you spend so much time varnishing yourself that my eyes are tearing from the fumes. I love you, but my fingers are sticking to you and I'm getting a headache. You're beautiful, would you please just be as beautiful as you are without all the varnish?

Bow: You think I'm ugly! I spend so much time trying to be beautiful for you and you don't even care! You're so heartless!

The Right Answer:

Hunter: I just need to say something. You varnish yourself too much for me. Honestly, you spend so much time varnishing yourself that my eyes are tearing from the fumes. I love you, but my fingers are sticking to you and I'm getting a headache. You're beautiful, would you please just be as beautiful as you are without all the varnish?

Bow: Could I? I get so tired of having to be shiny all the time. I mean, I don't mind your fingerprints on me, but I'm sorry that it makes it hard for you to aim. I guess I just thought I had to. I want to be perfect.

Warning to amateur Bows. Don't say this to fish for more compliments. Say this because it's true. Say what's in your heart simply and then stop talking. If you promise to stop doing something you compulsively do because you feel weak, it's hard to stop. You're going to have to genuinely try, trust that this guy isn't just screwing with you to make you look bad and then dump you when he sees what you're really like without your varnish. If you can't pull off insight, pull off the helplessness you feel, just say simply "I don't know how."

Hunter: Neither of us will ever be perfect, but we can be perfect for each other, and that's rare. Let's go have some fun without worrying about if it's going to smudge your string, okay? I kinda like you when you're smudged.

Woe betide the hunter if he buys his arrows and pretends he made them..."No, honey, I made these arrows for you!" "I recognize these arrows, they're made by freakin' Shakespeare. Other people read too, you know!"

Woe betide the Bow if she keeps spoiling his aim so she can prove she has power over the hunt "The game is on. Could I please watch the game? PLEASE?" She stands in front of the TV set and blocks all quarry from view. "Oh no! You're going to LISTEN to me!" The Bow has now evolved into Target.

So Bows, it's okay to lean up against a tree in the Forest without the fear that you're without a Hunter. Sometimes the Forest is just better company than some oaf who never bothered to learn the basics on a trainer Bow. I have yet to find any patch of forest that doesn't have Hunters in it. If a Hunter neglects you, check out the other Hunters in the Forest. Every single Hunter out there knows that a bow left alone is fair game, that's the Law Of The Forest. The one who lost his Bow might blame this on the Bow to her face, but he knows that if he were there for her, she'd still be with him. He'd never blame the Bow around the campfire to the wise Hunter elders, he can only say that to the younger, stupider ones.

So Hunters, go have fun, find happiness in one Bow or LOTS of Bows, but don't tell every bow that She's The One. Don't lean her up against a tree and make her promise not to move until you get back. Take her with you or expect that some other wily hunter out there is gonna see her leaning up against a tree and say..."You...are one hot Bow, what stupid hunter left you out here all alone?"

Enjoy the hunt.